TERROR
(_Statement by Seraphine_)
At the request of Dr. William Owen I am writing this account of what
happened last night after Roberta Vallis' party. What happened during
the party was terrible enough, but what came later, after the doctor and
the guests had gone and we three women were alone together, Roberta and
Penelope and I, was infinitely worse.
I am told to put down details of the night, as far as I can remember
them, so that these may be kept in the records of the American Occult
Society. There never was a clearer case of an evil spirit working
destructively against a living person, although other noble souls have
faced a similar ordeal, especially returned soldiers and Red Cross
workers, and some have not survived it. Remember those pitiful,
unaccountable suicides of our bravest and our fairest. In every case
_there was a reason_!
Penelope did not go home after the party, she was in no condition to do
so, but stayed at Roberta's, and I stayed with her, at least I promised
to stay, for I knew she needed me. I knew that the greatest danger was
still threatening her.
When the guests had gone we took off our things (Roberta let me have her
little spare room on the mezzanine floor and she gave Penelope her own
big bedroom with the old French furniture), then a Russian singer, a
tall blond, Margaret G----, came in from the next apartment and we
talked for a long time. Pen and Bobby smoke cigarettes and drank
cordials; they drank in a nervous, hysterical way, as if they felt they
_must_ drink, and, strangely enough, the more they drank the more
intensely sober they became. _I understood this!_
Such talk! Miss Gordon had just returned to America by way of Tokio. She
had been in London, Paris, Petrograd, Cairo; and, everywhere, as a
result of the war, she said, she found a mad carnival of recklessness
and extravagance. Everywhere the old standards of decency and honor had
been set aside, greed and lust were rampant, the whole human race seemed
to be swept as with a mighty tide, by three fierce desires--for money,
for pleasure, for sensuality. And God had been forgotten!
I, who know how hideously true this is, tried to show these women _why_
it is true, especially Penelope, whose eyes were burning dangerously,
but they were not interested in my moralizing. "Let us eat, drink and be
merry, for tomorrow we die," mocked Margaret G----, emptying her glass,
and Roberta joined her, while Penelope hesitated.
"Wait! For God's sake, wait!" I caught the poor child's arm and the
wine spilled over the carpet. Never shall I forget the look in her eyes
as she drew back her head and faced me. I realized that the powers of
evil were striving again for the soul of Penelope Wells. Poor, tortured
child!
"Why shouldn't we eat, drink and be merry?" she demanded boldly, and I
was silent.
How could I explain to this dear, misguided one that, even as those
rollicking words were spoken, I felt the clutch of a cold foreboding
that I know only too well.
_For tomorrow we die!_
The Russian singer presently withdrew as if she were annoyed at
something, saying to Roberta that she would see her later. It seems they
had arranged that Roberta should pass the night in Margaret G----'s
apartment so that Penelope might have the large bedroom.
It was now after two o'clock and I suggested that we all needed sleep,
my thought being for Penelope; but she was aggressively awake, and
Roberta, as if bent on further excitement, started a new subject that
came like a challenge to me. She began innocently enough by putting her
arm around Penelope, as she sat on the bedside between the draped
curtains--I never saw her so beautiful--and saying sweetly: "You don't
know how terribly I'm going to miss you, Pen, when you get married."
Married! That word, so full of exquisite sentiment, seemed to stir only
what was evil in Penelope. Her face hardened, her eyes narrowed
cynically.
"Good old Bobby! I'm not so sure that I shall marry at all. I'm a
little fed up with this holy matrimony stuff. Perhaps I want my freedom
just as much as you do."
For a moment I caught her steady defiant gaze, then her eyes dropped and
shifted. I knew that Penelope was gone.
After this outburst the _other one_ was restrained enough for a time and
did not betray herself by violent utterances. Apparently she was
listening attentively to Roberta Vallis' views about life and love and
the destiny of woman, these views being as extreme and selfish as the
most wayward nature could demand.
I realized that the moment was critical and concentrated all my
spiritual power in an appeal to Penelope, praying that God would bring
her back and make her heed my words. I spoke gently of God's love for
His children and said that we need fear no evil within us or about us,
no dangers of any sort, if we will learn to draw to us and through us
that healing and protecting love. We can do this, we must do this by
establishing a love-current from God to us and from us to God, by
keeping it flowing just as an electrician keeps an electrical current
flowing--every day, every hour. It is not enough to pray for God's love,
we must keep our spiritual connections right, exactly as an electrician
keeps his electrical connections right, if we expect the current to
flow. We cannot make our electric lamps burn by merely wishing them to
burn, although there is a boundless ocean of electricity waiting to be
drawn upon. We must know how to tap that ocean. Similarly, the power of
God's infinite love will not descend upon us simply because we need it
or ask for it. We must ask for it in the right way. We must establish
the right love-connections. We must set the love-current flowing, and
keep it flowing, _from God to us and from us back to God_; and this can
be done only by confessing our sins, by cleansing our hearts of evil
thoughts and desires. _Not even God Himself can make the sun shine upon
those who wilfully hide in the shadows!_
I saw that they were listening impatiently and more than once Roberta
tried to interrupt me, but I persisted and said what I had to say as
well as I could, with all the love in my heart, for I knew that my
precious Penelope's fate was hanging in the balance.
When I had finished Roberta got up from the bed where she had been
sitting and lighted a cigarette.
"Now, then, it's my turn," she began. I could see her eyes shining with
an evil purpose. "You've heard her pretty little speech, Pen. You've
heard her talk about the wonderful power of God's love, and a great
rigamarole about how it guards us from all evil, if we say our prayers
and confess our sins and so on. I say that is all bunk, and I can prove
it. Take women--they've always said their prayers more than men, always
confessed their sins more than men, always been more loving than men,
haven't they? And what's the result? Has God protected them from the
evils of life more than men? He has not. God has let women get the worst
of it right straight along through the centuries. Women have always been
the slaves of men, haven't they?--in spite of all their love and
devotion, in spite of all their prayers and tears? How do you account
for that?"
She flashed this at me with a wicked little toss of her head and
Penelope chimed in: "Yes, I'd like to know that myself." But, when I
tried to answer, Roberta cut me off with a new flood of violence.
"I'll let you know how I account for it," she went on angrily. "It's
because all the churches in the world, all the smug preachers in the
world, like you, have gone on shooting out this very same kind of hot
air that you've been giving us; and the women, silly fools, have fallen
for it. _But not the men!_ The women have tried to live by love and
prayer and unselfishness; they have said: 'God's will be done,' 'God
will protect us'; and what is the result? How has God protected the
women, who _did_ believe? And how has He punished the men who refused to
believe? He has made the men masters of the world, lords of everything;
and He has kept the women in bondage, hasn't He?--in factory bondage, in
nursery bondage, in prostitution bondage? Is what I say true, or isn't
it true? I ask you, I ask any person who has got such a thing as a clear
brain and is not simply a mushy sentimentalist, is what I say true?"
Again I tried to answer, but again she cut me short and rushed on in a
blaze of excitement.
"So it has been through all the pitiful history of women, until a few
years ago, the poor, foolish creatures began to wake up. At last women
are getting rid of their delusions and emerging from their slavery--why?
Because they have begun to imitate men, and go straight after the thing
they want, the thing that is worth while, _by using their power as
women_, and not depending upon the power of love or the power of God or
any other power. Believe me, the greatest power in the world is the
power of women _as women_, and we may as well use it to the limit, just
as men would. We can get anything we want out of men by learning to use
this power, and, I tell you, Pen, there isn't anything better in this
good old United States than money. So far men have had the money,
they've ground it out of the poor and the ignorant, especially women,
but now women are going after money and getting it, just like the men.
Why not? If I want a sable coat and a limousine and a nice duplex
apartment, why shouldn't I have them, if I can get them without breaking
the law? And I _can_ get them; so can you, Pen, if you'll play the cards
you hold in your hand. Haven't I done it? You don't see me eating in
Childs restaurants to any great extent these days, do you? And I'm not
worrying about clothes, or about paying my rent."
The poison of her words was stealing into Penelope's soul and defiling
it, yet I was powerless to restrain her.
"Listen to this, child, and remember it, women are the equals of men
today in every line, and they're going to have their full share of the
good things of life. They're going to have freedom, and that means the
right to do as they please without asking the permission of any man.
Women are going to have their own latch keys and their own bank
accounts. They're going to cut off their hair and put pockets in their
skirts, and have babies, if they feel like it, or not have them, if they
don't feel like it. The greatest revolution the world has ever known is
going on now, it's the revolution of women. Let the men open their eyes!
How did women get the suffrage? Was it by praying for it? Was it by the
power of love? Was it by the mercy of God? No! They got the suffrage by
fighting for it, by going out and hustling for it, just the way men
hustle for what they want. If women had depended on the power of God's
love to give them the suffrage, they wouldn't have got it in a million
years."
Of course, those were not Roberta's exact words, but I am sure I have
given the substance of them, and I cannot exaggerate the defiant
bitterness of her tone. She was a powerful devil's advocate and I saw
that wavering Penelope (if it still was Penelope) was deeply impressed
by this false and wicked reasoning. She looked at me out of her
wonderful eyes--unflinching, cruel, then the balance swung against me.
"I believe you are right, Roberta Vallis," she spoke with raised
forefinger and a show of judicial consideration. "It's a bold speech for
a woman, I never heard the thing put that way before, but--I'm damned if
I see what the answer is except--"
"Oh, Penelope!" I interrupted, trying in vain to reach her with my eyes.
"You shut up," she answered spitefully. "I said I'm _damned_ if I see
what the answer is except your answer, Bobby, that women have always
been fools and dupes--dupes of religious superstition invented by men
for the benefit of men and never accepted by men."
Roberta applauded this. "Bravo! little one! I'll tell that to Kendall
Brown. _Women have always been dupes of religious superstition invented
by men for the benefit of men and never accepted by men!_ Go on! Tell us
some more."
And Penelope went on, flinging aside all restraint, while my heart sank.
"Take my own life. Look at it! I had an ignoble husband. Why didn't I
leave him? Because I was loving, trusting. I thought I could save him. I
said prayers for him. I asked God to strengthen him. And what was the
result? The result was that Julian not only destroyed himself, but he
destroyed what was best in me. Did God interfere? Did God give any
manifestation of His infinite love? Not so that you could notice it."
She paused with heaving bosom and then swept on in her mad discourse.
"And then, when I was left alone in the world, what happened? I went
abroad as a Red Cross nurse. I tried my best to help in the war. I took
care of the wounded--under fire. I bore every hardship. I said my
prayers. And God put a curse upon me--yes He did. He took all chance of
happiness and health and love away from me. He made me do things that I
never meant to do, that I don't remember doing."
Her cheeks were burning scarlet, her eyes shone like black stars. I
tried to stop her. "My darling, you are ill!"
"Ill? Who made me ill? God made me ill, didn't He? That's my reward,
isn't it? That's what has come of all my love and faith. If that's what
God does, you can have Him. I don't want Him. I'll go with Roberta.
I'll do as Roberta does--yes, I will." She almost screamed the words.
How I prayed then for wisdom!
"No--no!" I said slowly but firmly. "You will _not_ go with Roberta. You
will go with me."
"I must say I like your impertinence," Roberta put in, her face white,
her voice trembling with fury. "This happens to be my apartment, Mrs.
Seraphine Walters, and now you can get damned well out of it."
I saw that I could no nothing more, for Penelope's eyes were hard set
against me. They both wanted me to go.
"Good night. God bless you, dear," I said.
"Don't you worry about God's blessing us. You can tell Him the next time
you make your report that there is a young woman named Roberta Vallis
living at the Hotel des Artistes who is getting along quite well, thank
you, without--"
"Don't say it, please don't say it," I begged. "You have no idea what
dangers are threatening, what evil powers are about us--even now--here."
She laughed in my face. "I snap my fingers at your evil powers and your
God of Love. I don't believe in either of them. I'm not afraid of either
of them. Evil powers! Ha! Let them come if they want to. Here! We'll
drink defiance to the powers of evil. Come on, Pen!"
"Defiance to the powers of evil," laughed my poor soul-sick Penelope,
lifting her glass.
With a shudder I watched these two tragically led young women as they
stood there, draped in white, and drank this sacrilegious toast; then,
heavy-hearted, I came away.
It was nearly four o'clock when I reached my home and I was so exhausted
by the emotions of the night that I lay down without undressing and
almost immediately fell into a troubled sleep. Then, suddenly, I awoke
with a start of alarm and a sense that a voice had called me. And,
though my bedroom was dark, I distinctly saw a white vaporish form
passing over me as if someone had blown a cloud of tobacco smoke in my
face. Once before I had had this experience of a white form passing over
me--it was when my mother died.
I got up quickly, knowing that this was a summons, and, as I put on my
hat and cloak, I heard my control telling me that I must go to Penelope.
I knelt down and prayed that I might not be too late. Then I hurried
back to the hotel and got there at half-past five. It was still night.
A sleepy elevator girl took me up to Roberta's apartment and I found
that the door opened at my touch. In another moment I was standing in
the silent hall looking down a long passage that led to Penelope's
bedroom. The bedroom door was ajar and a dim light from the chamber
illumined the way before me.
Thus far I had acted swiftly, almost mechanically, knowing that I had
only one thing to do, and I had been aware of no particular emotion
except a natural anxiety; but now, the moment I entered this apartment
and closed the door behind me, I was conscious of a freezing, paralyzing
fear, a sensation as real as the touch of a hand or the sound of a
bell. It was something that could not be resisted. I was bathed in an
atmosphere of terror. I was afraid to a degree that made my breath stop,
my heart stop....
The passage leading to Penelope's bedroom was not more than six yards
long, but it seemed as if it took me an hour to traverse it. I could
scarcely force my lagging steps, one by one, to carry me. And every
hideous moment brought me the vision of Penelope lying on that curtained
bed, her beautiful face distorted, her eager young life--crushed out of
her. Oh God, how I prayed!
When at last I came into the bedroom I faced another struggle. There was
absolute silence. No sound of breathing from the bed, although I saw a
woman's form under the sheets. But not her face, which was hidden by the
curtain. For a long time I stood beside that bed, rigid with fear,
before I found courage to draw the curtain back. At last I drew it back
and--there lay Penelope, sleeping peacefully, quite unharmed. I was
stunned with relief, with amazement and--suddenly her eyes opened and
she gave a wild but joyful cry and flung her arms around my neck,
sobbing hysterically.
"Oh! Oh! My dear, dear Seraphine! You came to me. You forgave me. You
did not abandon your poor Penelope." She clung to me like a child in
frantic, pitiful terror.
Then she told me that she too had gone through a frightful experience.
When Roberta had left her, about an hour before, to sleep in the
adjoining apartment, as they had arranged with Margaret G----, Penelope
had tried to compose herself on her pillow, but she had scarcely fallen
into a doze when she was awakened by the same sense of horrible fear
that had overcome me. She was about to die--by violence. An assassin was
coming--he was near her. She could hardly breathe. It was almost beyond
her power to rise from the bed and search the apartment, but she did
this. There was nothing, and yet the terror persisted. She huddled
herself under the bed-covers and waited, saying her prayers. And when I
entered the apartment and came down the passage--so slowly, so
stealthily!--she _knew_ it was the murderer coming to kill her. And when
I paused at her bedside--how long it was before I drew the curtain!--she
almost died again, waiting for the blow.
Of course I did not leave Penelope after this, but comforted her and
prayed with her and rejoiced that her madness was past. Then we tried to
sleep, locked in each other's arms, but, shortly after six, there came a
timid knock at the door and, all of a tremble, Jeanne entered,
Penelope's French maid who had come with her mistress to Roberta's party
and had occupied a small room overhead, and she told us with hysterical
sobs that she had not closed her eyes all night for ghastly visions of
Penelope murdered in her bed.
Now it is easy to scoff at premonitions and haunting fears, but there
can be no doubt that on this night an evil spirit was present in
Roberta's apartment, a hideous, destructive entity that came
and--wavered in its deadly purpose against Penelope, then--_manifested
to Roberta Vallis in the adjoining apartment_, for when I went in
there a little later I found Roberta--she who had mocked God and defied
the powers of evil--I found her in her bed, her face convulsed with a
look of indescribable terror--_dead!_
The hotel doctor reported it as a case of heart failure, but Doctor
William Owen, who has an honest mind, acknowledged that all this was
beyond his understanding. This tragedy made him realize at last that
there may be sinister agencies in us and about us that cannot be dealt
with by mere medical skill. And, at my pleading, he directed that Mrs.
Wells be placed immediately in the care of Dr. Edgar Leroy.
Thank God, my precious Penelope will receive psychic treatment before it
is too late. There is no other hope for her but this.