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[Illustration: _Stout Gentleman (overhearing political discussion)_.
"LOOK HERE, MY GOOD FELLOW--I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUR ARGUMENTS; AND
LET ME TELL YOU WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT."
_Politician_. "LUMME, GUV'NOR, YOU'D BETTER COME IN THE MIDDLE OF IT
THEN."]
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=UNAUTHENTIC IMPRESSIONS.=
I think the time has come for me to follow the example of so many
other people and offer to the world a few pen pictures of prominent
statesmen of the day. I shall not call them "Shaving Papers from
Downing Street," nor adopt the pseudonym of "The Man with the Hot
Water (or the Morning Tea)," nor shall I roundly assert that I have
been the private secretary, the doctor, the dentist or the washerwoman
of the great men of whom I speak. Nevertheless I have sources of
information which I do not mean to disclose, except to say that heavy
persons who sit down carelessly on sofas may unknowingly inflict
considerable pain, through the sharp ends of broken springs, on those
beneath.