back.
“Mister.” Luster said.
He looked around. “What.” he said.
“Want to buy a golf ball.” Luster said.
“Let’s see it.” he said. He came to the fence and Luster reached the
ball through.
“Where’d you get it.” he said.
“Found it.” Luster said.
“I know that.” he said. “Where. In somebody’s golf bag.”
“I found it laying over here in the yard.” Luster said. “I’ll take a
quarter for it.”
“What makes you think it’s yours.” he said.
“I found it.” Luster said.
“Then find yourself another one.” he said. He put it in his pocket and
went away.
“I got to go to that show tonight.” Luster said.
“That so.” he said. He went to the table. “Fore, caddie.” he said. He
hit.
“I’ll declare.” Luster said. “You fusses when you dont see them and you
fusses when you does. Why cant you hush. Dont you reckon folks gets
tired of listening to you all the time. Here. You dropped your jimson
weed.” He picked it up and gave it back to me. “You needs a new one. You
’bout wore that one out.” We stood at the fence and watched them.
“That white man hard to get along with.” Luster said. “You see him take
my ball.” They went on. We went on along the fence. We came to the
garden and we couldn’t go any further. I held to the fence and looked
through the flower spaces. They went away.
“Now you aint got nothing to moan about.” Luster said. “Hush up. I the
one got something to moan over, you aint. Here. Whyn’t you hold on to
that weed. You be bellering about it next.” He gave me the flower.
“Where you heading now.”
Our shadows were on the grass. They got to the trees before we did. Mine
got there first. Then we got there, and then the shadows were gone.
There was a flower in the bottle. I put the other flower in it.
“Aint you a grown man, now.” Luster said. “Playing with two weeds in a
bottle. You know what they going to do with you when Miss Cahline die.
They going to send you to Jackson, where you belong. Mr Jason say so.
Where you can hold the bars all day long with the rest of the looneys
and slobber. How you like that.”
Luster knocked the flowers over with his hand. “That’s what they’ll do
to you at Jackson when you starts bellering.”
I tried to pick up the flowers. Luster picked them up, and they went
away. I began to cry.
“Beller.” Luster said. “Beller. You want something to beller about. All
right, then. Caddy.” he whispered. “Caddy. Beller now. Caddy.”
“Luster.” Dilsey said from the kitchen.
The flowers came back.
“Hush.” Luster said. “Here they is. Look. It’s fixed back just like it
was at first. Hush, now.”
“You, Luster.” Dilsey said.
“Yessum.” Luster said. “We coming. You done played hell. Get up.” He
jerked my arm and I got up. We went out of the trees. Our shadows were
gone.
“Hush.” Luster said. “Look at all them folks watching you. Hush.”
“You bring him on here.” Dilsey said. She came down the steps.
“What you done to him now.” she said.
“Aint done nothing to him.” Luster said. “He just started bellering.”
“Yes you is.” Dilsey said. “You done something to him. Where you been.”
“Over yonder under them cedars.” Luster said.
“Getting Quentin all riled up.” Dilsey said. “Why cant you keep him away
from her. Dont you know she dont like him where she at.”
“Got as much time for him as I is.” Luster said. “He aint none of my
uncle.”
“Dont you sass me, nigger boy.” Dilsey said.
“I aint done nothing to him.” Luster said. “He was playing there, and
all of a sudden he started bellering.”
“Is you been projecking with his graveyard.” Dilsey said.
“I aint touched his graveyard.” Luster said.
“Dont lie to me, boy.” Dilsey said. We went up the steps and into the
kitchen. Dilsey opened the firedoor and drew a chair up in front of it
and I sat down. I hushed.
_What you want to get her started for, Dilsey said. Whyn’t you keep him
out of there._
_He was just looking at the fire, Caddy said. Mother was telling him his
new name. We didn’t mean to get her started._
_I knows you didn’t, Dilsey said. Him at one end of the house and her at
the other. You let my things alone, now. Dont you touch nothing till I
get back._
“Aint you shamed of yourself.” Dilsey said. “Teasing him.” She set the
cake on the table.
“I aint been teasing him.” Luster said. “He was playing with that bottle
full of dogfennel and all of a sudden he started up bellering. You heard
him.”
“You aint done nothing to his flowers.” Dilsey said.
“I aint touched his graveyard.” Luster said. “What I want with his
truck. I was just hunting for that quarter.”
“You lost it, did you.” Dilsey said. She lit the candles on the cake.
Some of them were little ones. Some were big ones cut into little
pieces. “I told you to go put it away. Now I reckon you want me to get
you another one from Frony.”
“I got to go to that show, Benjy or no Benjy.” Luster said. “I aint
going to follow him around day and night both.”
“You going to do just what he want you to, nigger boy.” Dilsey said.
“You hear me.”
“Aint I always done it.” Luster said. “Dont I always does what he wants.
Dont I, Benjy.”
“Then you keep it up.” Dilsey said. “Bringing him in here, bawling and
getting her started too. You all go ahead and eat this cake, now, before
Jason come. I dont want him jumping on me about a cake I bought with my
own money. Me baking a cake here, with him counting every egg that comes
into this kitchen. See can you let him alone now, less you dont want to
go to that show tonight.”
Dilsey went away.
“You cant blow out no candles.” Luster said. “Watch me blow them out.”
He leaned down and puffed his face. The candles went away. I began to
cry. “Hush.” Luster said. “Here. Look at the fire whiles I cuts this
cake.”
_I could hear the clock, and I could hear Caddy standing behind me, and
I could hear the roof. It’s still raining, Caddy said. I hate rain. I
hate everything. And then her head came into my lap and she was crying,
holding me, and I began to cry. Then I looked at the fire again and the
bright, smooth shapes went again. I could hear the clock and the roof
and Caddy._
I ate some cake. Luster’s hand came and took another piece. I could hear
him eating. I looked at the fire.
A long piece of wire came across my shoulder. It went to the door, and
then the fire went away. I began to cry.
“What you howling for now.” Luster said. “Look there.” The fire was
there. I hushed. “Cant you set and look at the fire and be quiet like
mammy told you.” Luster said. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Here. Here’s you some more cake.”
“What you done to him now.” Dilsey said. “Cant you never let him alone.”
“I was just trying to get him to hush up and not sturb Miss Cahline.”
Luster said. “Something got him started again.”
“And I know what that something name.” Dilsey said. “I’m going to get
Versh to take a stick to you when he comes home. You just trying
yourself. You been doing it all day. Did you take him down to the
branch.”
“Nome.” Luster said. “We been right here in this yard all day, like you
said.”
His hand came for another piece of cake. Dilsey hit his hand. “Reach it
again, and I chop it right off with this here butcher knife.” Dilsey
said. “I bet he aint had one piece of it.”
“Yes he is.” Luster said. “He already had twice as much as me. Ask him
if he aint.”
“Reach hit one more time.” Dilsey said. “Just reach it.”
_That’s right, Dilsey said. I reckon it’ll be my time to cry next.
Reckon Maury going to let me cry on him a while, too._
_His name’s Benjy now, Caddy said._
_How come it is, Dilsey said. He aint wore out the name he was born with
yet, is he._
_Benjamin came out of the bible, Caddy said. It’s a better name for him
than Maury was._
_How come it is, Dilsey said._
_Mother says it is, Caddy said._
_Huh, Dilsey said. Name aint going to help him. Hurt him, neither. Folks
dont have no luck, changing names. My name been Dilsey since fore I
could remember and it be Dilsey when they’s long forgot me._
_How will they know it’s Dilsey, when it’s long forgot, Dilsey, Caddy
said._
_It’ll be in the Book, honey, Dilsey said. Writ out._
_Can you read it, Caddy said._
_Wont have to, Dilsey said. They’ll read it for me. All I got to do is
say Ise here._
The long wire came across my shoulder, and the fire went away. I began
to cry.
Dilsey and Luster fought.
“I seen you.” Dilsey said. “Oho, I seen you.” She dragged Luster out of
the corner, shaking him. “Wasn’t nothing bothering him, was they. You
just wait till your pappy come home. I wish I was young like I use to
be, I’d tear them years right off your head. I good mind to lock you up
in that cellar and not let you go to that show tonight, I sho is.”
“Ow, mammy.” Luster said. “Ow, mammy.”
I put my hand out to where the fire had been.
“Catch him.” Dilsey said. “Catch him back.”
My hand jerked back and I put it in my mouth and Dilsey caught me. I
could still hear the clock between my voice. Dilsey reached back and hit
Luster on the head. My voice was going loud every time.
“Get that soda.” Dilsey said. She took my hand out of my mouth. My voice
went louder then and my hand tried to go back to my mouth, but Dilsey
held it. My voice went loud. She sprinkled soda on my hand.
“Look in the pantry and tear a piece off of that rag hanging on the
nail.” she said. “Hush, now. You dont want to make your ma sick again,
does you. Here, look at the fire. Dilsey make your hand stop hurting in
just a minute. Look at the fire.” She opened the fire door. I looked at
the fire, but my hand didn’t stop and I didn’t stop. My hand was trying
to go to my mouth but Dilsey held it.
She wrapped the cloth around it. Mother said,
“What is it now. Cant I even be sick in peace. Do I have to get up out
of bed to come down to him, with two grown negroes to take care of him.”
“He all right now.” Dilsey said. “He going to quit. He just burnt his
hand a little.”
“With two grown negroes, you must bring him into the house, bawling.”
Mother said. “You got him started on purpose, because you know I’m
sick.” She came and stood by me. “Hush.” she said. “Right this minute.
Did you give him this cake.”
“I bought it.” Dilsey said. “It never come out of Jason’s pantry. I
fixed him some birthday.”
“Do you want to poison him with that cheap store cake.” Mother said. “Is
that what you are trying to do. Am I never to have one minute’s peace.”
“You go on back up stairs and lay down.” Dilsey said. “It’ll quit
smarting him in a minute now, and he’ll hush. Come on, now.”
“And leave him down here for you all to do something else to.” Mother
said. “How can I lie there, with him bawling down here. Benjamin. Hush
this minute.”
“They aint nowhere else to take him.” Dilsey said. “We aint got the room
we use to have. He cant stay out in the yard, crying where all the
neighbors can see him.”
“I know, I know.” Mother said. “It’s all my fault. I’ll be gone soon,
and you and Jason will both get along better.” She began to cry.
“You hush that, now.” Dilsey said. “You’ll get yourself down again. You
come on back up stairs. Luster going to take him to the liberry and play
with him till I get his supper done.”
Dilsey and Mother went out.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “You hush up. You want me to burn your other
hand for you. You aint hurt. Hush up.”
“Here.” Dilsey said. “Stop crying, now.” She gave me the slipper, and I
hushed. “Take him to the liberry.” she said. “And if I hear him again, I
going to whip you myself.”
We went to the library. Luster turned on the light. The windows went
black, and the dark tall place on the wall came and I went and touched
it. It was like a door, only it wasn’t a door.
The fire came behind me and I went to the fire and sat on the floor,
holding the slipper. The fire went higher. It went onto the cushion in
Mother’s chair.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “Cant you never get done for a while. Here I
done built you a fire, and you wont even look at it.”
_Your name is Benjy. Caddy said. Do you hear. Benjy. Benjy._
_Dont tell him that, Mother said. Bring him here._
_Caddy lifted me under the arms._
_Get up, Mau—I mean Benjy, she said._
_Dont try to carry him, Mother said. Cant you lead him over here. Is
that too much for you to think of._
_I can carry him_, Caddy said. “Let me carry him up, Dilsey.”
“Go on, Minute.” Dilsey said. “You aint big enough to tote a flea. You
go on and be quiet, like Mr. Jason said.”
There was a light at the top of the stairs. Father was there, in his
shirt sleeves. The way he looked said Hush. Caddy whispered,
“Is Mother sick.”
_Versh set me down and we went into Mother’s room. There was a fire. It
was rising and falling on the walls. There was another fire in the
mirror. I could smell the sickness. It was a cloth folded on Mother’s
head. Her hair was on the pillow. The fire didn’t reach it, but it shone
on her hand, where her rings were jumping._
“Come and tell Mother goodnight.” Caddy said. We went to the bed. The
fire went out of the mirror. Father got up from the bed and lifted me up
and Mother put her hand on my head.
“What time is it.” Mother said. Her eyes were closed.
“Ten minutes to seven.” Father said.
“It’s too early for him to go to bed.” Mother said. “He’ll wake up at
daybreak, and I simply cannot bear another day like today.”
“There, there.” Father said. He touched Mother’s face.
“I know I’m nothing but a burden to you.” Mother said. “But I’ll be gone
soon. Then you will be rid of my bothering.”
“Hush.” Father said. “I’ll take him downstairs awhile.” He took me up.
“Come on, old fellow. Let’s go downstairs awhile. We’ll have to be quiet
while Quentin is studying, now.”
Caddy went and leaned her face over the bed and Mother’s hand came into
the firelight. Her rings jumped on Caddy’s back.
_Mother’s sick, Father said. Dilsey will put you to bed. Where’s
Quentin._
_Versh getting him, Dilsey said._
Father stood and watched us go past. We could hear Mother in her room.
Caddy said “Hush.” Jason was still climbing the stairs. He had his hands
in his pockets.
“You all must be good tonight.” Father said. “And be quiet, so you wont
disturb Mother.”
“We’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “You must be quiet now, Jason.” she said.
We tiptoed.
_We could hear the roof. I could see the fire in the mirror too. Caddy
lifted me again._
“Come on, now.” she said. “Then you can come back to the fire. Hush,
now.”
“Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Mother wants you a minute. Like a good boy.
Then you can come back. Benjy.”
Caddy let me down, and I hushed.
“Let him stay here, Mother. When he’s through looking at the fire, then
you can tell him.”
“Candace.” Mother said. Caddy stooped and lifted me. We staggered.
“Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush.” Caddy said. “You can still see it. Hush.”
“Bring him here.” Mother said. “He’s too big for you to carry. You must
stop trying. You’ll injure your back. All of our women have prided
themselves on their carriage. Do you want to look like a washer-woman.”
“He’s not too heavy.” Caddy said. “I can carry him.”
“Well, I dont want him carried, then.” Mother said. “A five year old
child. No, no. Not in my lap. Let him stand up.”
“If you’ll hold him, he’ll stop.” Caddy said. “Hush.” she said. “You can
go right back. Here. Here’s your cushion. See.”
“Dont, Candace.” Mother said.
“Let him look at it and he’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “Hold up just a
minute while I slip it out. There, Benjy. Look.”
I looked at it and hushed.
“You humour him too much.” Mother said. “You and your father both. You
dont realise that I am the one who has to pay for it. Damuddy spoiled
Jason that way and it took him two years to outgrow it, and I am not
strong enough to go through the same thing with Benjamin.”
“You dont need to bother with him.” Caddy said. “I like to take care of
him. Dont I, Benjy.”
“Candace.” Mother said. “I told you not to call him that. It was bad
enough when your father insisted on calling you by that silly nickname,
and I will not have him called by one. Nicknames are vulgar. Only common
people use them. Benjamin.” she said.
“Look at me.” Mother said.
“Benjamin.” she said. She took my face in her hands and turned it to
hers.
“Benjamin.” she said. “Take that cushion away, Candace.”
“He’ll cry.” Caddy said.
“Take that cushion away, like I told you.” Mother said. “He must learn
to mind.”
The cushion went away.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said.
“You go over there and sit down.” Mother said. “Benjamin.” She held my
face to hers.
“Stop that.” she said. “Stop it.”
But I didn’t stop and Mother caught me in her arms and began to cry, and
I cried. Then the cushion came back and Caddy held it above Mother’s
head. She drew Mother back in the chair and Mother lay crying against
the red and yellow cushion.
“Hush, Mother.” Caddy said. “You go upstairs and lay down, so you can be
sick. I’ll go get Dilsey.” She led me to the fire and I looked at the
bright, smooth shapes. I could hear the fire and the roof.
Father took me up. He smelled like rain.
“Well, Benjy.” he said. “Have you been a good boy today.”
Caddy and Jason were fighting in the mirror.
“You, Caddy.” Father said.
They fought. Jason began to cry.
“Caddy.” Father said. Jason was crying. He wasn’t fighting anymore but
we could see Caddy fighting in the mirror and Father put me down and
went into the mirror and fought too. He lifted Caddy up. She fought.
Jason lay on the floor, crying. He had the scissors in his hand. Father
held Caddy.
“He cut up all Benjy’s dolls.” Caddy said. “I’ll slit his gizzle.”
“Candace.” Father said.
“I will.” Caddy said. “I will.” She fought. Father held her. She kicked
at Jason. He rolled into the corner, out of the mirror. Father brought
Caddy to the fire. They were all out of the mirror. Only the fire was in
it. Like the fire was in a door.
“Stop that.” Father said. “Do you want to make Mother sick in her room.”
Caddy stopped. “He cut up all the dolls Mau—Benjy and I made.” Caddy
said. “He did it just for meanness.”
“I didn’t.” Jason said. He was sitting up, crying. “I didn’t know they
were his. I just thought they were some old papers.”
“You couldn’t help but know.” Caddy said. “You did it just.”
“Hush.” Father said. “Jason.” he said.
“I’ll make you some more tomorrow.” Caddy said. “We’ll make a lot of
them. Here, you can look at the cushion, too.”
_Jason came in._
_I kept telling you to hush, Luster said._
_What’s the matter now, Jason said._
“He just trying hisself.” Luster said. “That the way he been going on
all day.”
“Why dont you let him alone, then.” Jason said. “If you cant keep him
quiet, you’ll have to take him out to the kitchen. The rest of us cant
shut ourselves up in a room like Mother does.”
“Mammy say keep him out the kitchen till she get supper.” Luster said.
“Then play with him and keep him quiet.” Jason said. “Do I have to work
all day and then come home to a mad house.” He opened the paper and read
it.
_You can look at the fire and the mirror and the cushion too, Caddy
said. You wont have to wait until supper to look at the cushion, now. We
could hear the roof. We could hear Jason too, crying loud beyond the
wall._
Dilsey said, “You come, Jason. You letting him alone, is you.”
“Yessum.” Luster said.
“Where Quentin.” Dilsey said. “Supper near bout ready.”
“I dont know’m.” Luster said. “I aint seen her.”
Dilsey went away. “Quentin.” she said in the hall. “Quentin. Supper
ready.”
_We could hear the roof. Quentin smelled like rain, too._
_What did Jason do, he said._
_He cut up all Benjy’s dolls, Caddy said._
_Mother said to not call him Benjy, Quentin said. He sat on the rug by
us. I wish it wouldn’t rain, he said. You cant do anything._
_You’ve been in a fight, Caddy said. Haven’t you._
_It wasn’t much, Quentin said._
_You can tell it, Caddy said. Father’ll see it._
_I dont care, Quentin said. I wish it wouldn’t rain._
Quentin said, “Didn’t Dilsey say supper was ready.”
“Yessum.” Luster said. Jason looked at Quentin. Then he read the paper
again. Quentin came in. “She say it bout ready.” Luster said. Quentin
jumped down in Mother’s chair. Luster said,
“Mr Jason.”
“What.” Jason said.
“Let me have two bits.” Luster said.
“What for.” Jason said.
“To go to the show tonight.” Luster said.
“I thought Dilsey was going to get a quarter from Frony for you.” Jason
said.
“She did.” Luster said. “I lost it. Me and Benjy hunted all day for that
quarter. You can ask him.”
“Then borrow one from him.” Jason said. “I have to work for mine.” He
read the paper. Quentin looked at the fire. The fire was in her eyes and
on her mouth. Her mouth was red.
“I tried to keep him away from there.” Luster said.
“Shut your mouth.” Quentin said. Jason looked at her.
“What did I tell you I was going to do if I saw you with that show
fellow again.” he said. Quentin looked at the fire. “Did you hear me.”
Jason said.
“I heard you.” Quentin said. “Why dont you do it, then.”
“Dont you worry.” Jason said.
“I’m not.” Quentin said. Jason read the paper again.
_I could hear the roof. Father leaned forward and looked at Quentin._
_Hello, he said. Who won._
“Nobody.” Quentin said. “They stopped us. Teachers.”
“Who was it.” Father said. “Will you tell.”
“It was all right.” Quentin said. “He was as big as me.”
“That’s good.” Father said. “Can you tell what it was about.”
“It wasn’t anything.” Quentin said. “He said he would put a frog in her
desk and she wouldn’t dare to whip him.”
“Oh.” Father said. “She. And then what.”
“Yes, sir.” Quentin said. “And then I kind of hit him.”
We could hear the roof and the fire, and a snuffling outside the door.
“Where was he going to get a frog in November.” Father said.
“I dont know, sir.” Quentin said.
We could hear them.
“Jason.” Father said. We could hear Jason.
“Jason.” Father said. “Come in here and stop that.”
We could hear the roof and the fire and Jason.
“Stop that, now.” Father said. “Do you want me to whip you again.”
Father lifted Jason up into the chair by him. Jason snuffled. We could
hear the fire and the roof. Jason snuffled a little louder.
“One more time.” Father said. We could hear the fire and the roof.
_Dilsey said, All right. You all can come on to supper._
_Versh smelled like rain. He smelled like a dog, too. We could hear the
fire and the roof._
We could hear Caddy walking fast. Father and Mother looked at the door.
Caddy passed it, walking fast, She didn’t look. She walked fast.
“Candace.” Mother said. Caddy stopped walking.
“Yes, Mother.” she said.
“Hush, Caroline.” Father said.
“Come here.” Mother said.
“Hush, Caroline.” Father said. “Let her alone.”
Caddy came to the door and stood there, looking at Father and Mother.
Her eyes flew at me, and away. I began to cry. It went loud and I got
up. Caddy came in and stood with her back to the wall, looking at me. I
went toward her, crying, and she shrank against the wall and I saw her
eyes and I cried louder and pulled at her dress. She put her hands out
but I pulled at her dress. Her eyes ran.
_Versh said, Your name Benjamin now. You know how come your name
Benjamin now. They making a bluegum out of you. Mammy say in old time
your granpa changed nigger’s name, and_ _he turn preacher, and when they
look at him, he bluegum too. Didn’t use to be bluegum, neither. And when
family woman look him in the eye in the full of the moon, chile born
bluegum. And one evening, when they was about a dozen them bluegum
chillen running round the place, he never come home. Possum hunters
found him in the woods, et clean. And you know who et him. Them bluegum
chillen did._
We were in the hall. Caddy was still looking at me. Her hand was against
her mouth and I saw her eyes and I cried. We went up the stairs. She
stopped again, against the wall, looking at me and I cried and she went
on and I came on, crying, and she shrank against the wall, looking at
me. She opened the door to her room, but I pulled at her dress and we
went to the bathroom and she stood against the door, looking at me. Then
she put her arm across her face and I pushed at her, crying.
_What are you doing to him, Jason said. Why cant you let him alone._
_I aint touching him, Luster said. He been doing this way all day long.
He needs whipping._
_He needs to be sent to Jackson, Quentin said. How can anybody live in a
house like this._
_If you dont like it, young lady, you’d better get out, Jason said._
_I’m going to, Quentin said. Dont you worry._
Versh said, “You move back some, so I can dry my legs off.” He shoved me
back a little. “Dont you start bellering, now. You can still see it.
That’s all you have to do. You aint had to be out in the rain like I is.
You’s born lucky and dont know it.” He lay on his back before the fire.
“You know how come your name Benjamin now.” Versh said. “Your mamma too
proud for you. What mammy say.”
“You be still there and let me dry my legs off.” Versh said. “Or you
know what I’ll do. I’ll skin your rinktum.”
We could hear the fire and the roof and Versh.
Versh got up quick and jerked his legs back. Father said, “All right,
Versh.”