“Come on.” Caddy said, “Let’s go around to the front.”
We started to go.
“T. P. wants his lightning bugs.” Frony said.
“Let him hold it a while longer, T. P.” Caddy said. “We’ll bring it
back.”
“You all never caught them.” Frony said.
“If I say you and T. P. can come too, will you let him hold it.” Caddy
said.
“Aint nobody said me and T. P. got to mind you.” Frony said.
“If I say you dont have to, will you let him hold it.” Caddy said.
“All right.” Frony said. “Let him hold it, T. P. We going to watch them
moaning.”
“They aint moaning.” Caddy said. “I tell you it’s a party. Are they
moaning, Versh.”
“We aint going to know what they doing, standing here.” Versh said.
“Come on.” Caddy said. “Frony and T. P. dont have to mind me. But the
rest of us do. You better carry him, Versh. It’s getting dark.”
Versh took me up and we went on around the kitchen.
_When we looked around the corner we could see the lights coming up the
drive. T. P. went back to the cellar door and opened it._
_You know what’s down there, T. P. said. Soda water. I seen Mr Jason
come up with both hands full of them. Wait here a minute._
_T. P. went and looked in the kitchen door. Dilsey said, What are you
peeping in here for. Where’s Benjy._
_He out here, T. P. said._
_Go on and watch him, Dilsey said. Keep him out the house now._
_Yessum, T. P. said. Is they started yet._
_You go on and keep that boy out of sight, Dilsey said. I got all I can
tend to._
A snake crawled out from under the house. Jason said he wasn’t afraid of
snakes and Caddy said he was but she wasn’t and Versh said they both
were and Caddy said to be quiet, like father said.
_You aint got to start bellering now, T. P. said. You want some this
sassprilluh._
_It tickled my nose and eyes._
_If you aint going to drink it, let me get to it, T. P. said. All right,
here tis. We better get another bottle while aint nobody bothering us.
You be quiet, now._
We stopped under the tree by the parlor window. Versh set me down in the
wet grass. It was cold. There were lights in all the windows.
“That’s where Damuddy is.” Caddy said. “She’s sick every day now. When
she gets well we’re going to have a picnic.”
“I knows what I knows.” Frony said.
The trees were buzzing, and the grass.
“The one next to it is where we have the measles.” Caddy said. “Where do
you and T. P. have the measles, Frony.”
“Has them just wherever we is, I reckon.” Frony said.
“They haven’t started yet.” Caddy said.
_They getting ready to start, T. P. said. You stand right here now while
I get that box so we can see in the window. Here, les finish drinking
this here sassprilluh. It make me feel just like a squinch owl inside._
We drank the sassprilluh and T. P. pushed the bottle through the
lattice, under the house, and went away. I could hear them in the parlor
and I clawed my hands against the wall. T. P. dragged the box. He fell
down, and he began to laugh. He lay there, laughing into the grass. He
got up and dragged the box under the window, trying not to laugh.
“I skeered I going to holler.” T. P. said. “Git on the box and see is
they started.”
“They haven’t started because the band hasn’t come yet.” Caddy said.
“They aint going to have no band.” Frony said.
“How do you know.” Caddy said.
“I knows what I knows.” Frony said.
“You dont know anything.” Caddy said. She went to the tree. “Push me up,
Versh.”
“Your paw told you to stay out that tree.” Versh said.
“That was a long time ago.” Caddy said. “I expect he’s forgotten about
it. Besides, he said to mind me tonight. Didn’t he say to mind me
tonight.”
“I’m not going to mind you.” Jason said. “Frony and T. P. are not going
to either.”
“Push me up, Versh.” Caddy said.
“All right.” Versh said. “You the one going to get whipped. I aint.” He
went and pushed Caddy up into the tree to the first limb. We watched the
muddy bottom of her drawers. Then we couldn’t see her. We could hear the
tree thrashing.
“Mr Jason said if you break that tree he whip you.” Versh said.
“I’m going to tell on her too.” Jason said.
The tree quit thrashing. We looked up into the still branches.
“What you seeing.” Frony whispered.
_I saw them. Then I saw Caddy, with flowers in her hair, and a long veil
like shining wind. Caddy Caddy_
“Hush.” T. P. said, “They going to hear you. Get down quick.” He pulled
me. Caddy. I clawed my hands against the wall Caddy. T. P. pulled me.
“Hush.” he said, “Hush. Come on here quick.” He pulled me on. Caddy
“Hush up, Benjy. You want them to hear you. Come on, les drink some more
sassprilluh, then we can come back if you hush. We better get one more
bottle or we both be hollering. We can say Dan drunk it. Mr Quentin
always saying he so smart, we can say he sassprilluh dog, too.”
The moonlight came down the cellar stairs. We drank some more
sassprilluh.
“You know what I wish.” T. P. said. “I wish a bear would walk in that
cellar door. You know what I do. I walk right up to him and spit in he
eye. Gimme that bottle to stop my mouth before I holler.”
T. P. fell down. He began to laugh, and the cellar door and the
moonlight jumped away and something hit me.
“Hush up.” T. P. said, trying not to laugh, “Lawd, they’ll all hear us.
Get up.” T. P. said, “Get up, Benjy, quick.” He was thrashing about and
laughing and I tried to get up. The cellar steps ran up the hill in the
moonlight and T. P. fell up the hill, into the moonlight, and I ran
against the fence and T. P. ran behind me saying “Hush up hush up” Then
he fell into the flowers, laughing, and I ran into the box. But when I
tried to climb onto it it jumped away and hit me on the back of the head
and my throat made a sound. It made the sound again and I stopped trying
to get up, and it made the sound again and I began to cry. But my throat
kept on making the sound while T. P. was pulling me. It kept on making
it and I couldn’t tell if I was crying or not, and T. P. fell down on
top of me, laughing, and it kept on making the sound and Quentin kicked
T. P. and Caddy put her arms around me, and her shining veil, and I
couldn’t smell trees anymore and I began to cry.
_Benjy, Caddy said, Benjy. She put her arms around me again, but I went
away._ “What is it, Benjy.” she said, “Is it this hat.” She took her hat
off and came again, and I went away.
“Benjy.” she said, “What is it, Benjy. What has Caddy done.”
“He dont like that prissy dress.” Jason said. “You think you’re grown
up, dont you. You think you’re better than anybody else, dont you.
Prissy.”
“You shut your mouth.” Caddy said, “You dirty little beast. Benjy.”
“Just because you are fourteen, you think you’re grown up, dont you.”
Jason said. “You think you’re something. Dont you.”
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “You’ll disturb Mother. Hush.”
But I didn’t hush, and when she went away I followed, and she stopped on
the stairs and waited and I stopped too.
“What is it, Benjy.” Caddy said, “Tell Caddy. She’ll do it. Try.”
“Candace.” Mother said.
“Yessum.” Caddy said.
“Why are you teasing him.” Mother said. “Bring him here.”
We went to Mother’s room, where she was lying with the sickness on a
cloth on her head.
“What is the matter now.” Mother said. “Benjamin.”
“Benjy.” Caddy said. She came again, but I went away.
“You must have done something to him.” Mother said. “Why wont you let
him alone, so I can have some peace. Give him the box and please go on
and let him alone.”
Caddy got the box and set it on the floor and opened it. It was full of
stars. When I was still, they were still. When I moved, they glinted and
sparkled. I hushed.
Then I heard Caddy walking and I began again.
“Benjamin.” Mother said, “Come here.” I went to the door. “You,
Benjamin.” Mother said.
“What is it now.” Father said, “Where are you going.”
“Take him downstairs and get someone to watch him, Jason.” Mother said.
“You know I’m ill, yet you”
Father shut the door behind us.
“T. P.” he said.
“Sir.” T. P. said downstairs.
“Benjy’s coming down.” Father said. “Go with T. P.”
I went to the bathroom door. I could hear the water.
“Benjy.” T. P. said downstairs.
I could hear the water. I listened to it.
“Benjy.” T. P. said downstairs.
I listened to the water.
I couldn’t hear the water, and Caddy opened the door.
“Why, Benjy.” she said. She looked at me and I went and she put her arms
around me. “Did you find Caddy again.” she said. “Did you think Caddy
had run away.” Caddy smelled like trees.
We went to Caddy’s room. She sat down at the mirror. She stopped her
hands and looked at me.
“Why, Benjy. What is it.” she said. “You mustn’t cry. Caddy’s not going
away. See here.” she said. She took up the bottle and took the stopper
out and held it to my nose. “Sweet. Smell. Good.”
I went away and I didn’t hush, and she held the bottle in her hand,
looking at me.
“Oh.” she said. She put the bottle down and came and put her arms around
me. “So that was it. And you were trying to tell Caddy and you couldn’t
tell her. You wanted to, but you couldn’t, could you. Of course Caddy
wont. Of course Caddy wont. Just wait till I dress.”
Caddy dressed and took up the bottle again and we went down to the
kitchen.
“Dilsey.” Caddy said, “Benjy’s got a present for you.” She stooped down
and put the bottle in my hand. “Hold it out to Dilsey, now.” Caddy held
my hand out and Dilsey took the bottle.
“Well I’ll declare.” Dilsey said, “If my baby aint give Dilsey a bottle
of perfume. Just look here, Roskus.”
Caddy smelled like trees. “We dont like perfume ourselves.” Caddy said.
_She smelled like trees._
“Come on, now.” Dilsey said, “You too big to sleep with folks. You a big
boy now. Thirteen years old. Big enough to sleep by yourself in Uncle
Maury’s room.” Dilsey said.
Uncle Maury was sick. His eye was sick, and his mouth. Versh took his
supper up to him on the tray.
“Maury says he’s going to shoot the scoundrel.” Father said. “I told him
he’d better not mention it to Patterson before hand.” He drank.
“Jason.” Mother said.
“Shoot who, Father.” Quentin said. “What’s Uncle Maury going to shoot
him for.”
“Because he couldn’t take a little joke.” Father said.
“Jason.” Mother said, “How can you. You’d sit right there and see Maury
shot down in ambush, and laugh.”
“Then Maury’d better stay out of ambush.” Father said.
“Shoot who, Father.” Quentin said, “Who’s Uncle Maury going to shoot.”
“Nobody.” Father said. “I dont own a pistol.”
Mother began to cry. “If you begrudge Maury your food, why aren’t you
man enough to say so to his face. To ridicule him before the children,
behind his back.”
“Of course I dont.” Father said, “I admire Maury. He is invaluable to my
own sense of racial superiority. I wouldn’t swap Maury for a matched
team. And do you know why, Quentin.”
“No, sir.” Quentin said.
“_Et ego in arcadia_ I have forgotten the latin for hay.” Father said.
“There, there.” he said, “I was just joking.” He drank and set the glass
down and went and put his hand on Mother’s shoulder.
“It’s no joke.” Mother said. “My people are every bit as well born as
yours. Just because Maury’s health is bad.”
“Of course.” Father said. “Bad health is the primary reason for all
life. Created by disease, within putrefaction, into decay. Versh.”
“Sir.” Versh said behind my chair.
“Take the decanter and fill it.”
“And tell Dilsey to come and take Benjamin up to bed.” Mother said.
“You a big boy.” Dilsey said, “Caddy tired sleeping with you. Hush now,
so you can go to sleep.” The room went away, but I didn’t hush, and the
room came back and Dilsey came and sat on the bed, looking at me.
“Aint you going to be a good boy and hush.” Dilsey said. “You aint, is
you. See can you wait a minute, then.”
She went away. There wasn’t anything in the door. Then Caddy was in it.
“Hush.” Caddy said. “I’m coming.”
I hushed and Dilsey turned back the spread and Caddy got in between the
spread and the blanket. She didn’t take off her bathrobe.
“Now.” she said, “Here I am.” Dilsey came with a blanket and spread it
over her and tucked it around her.
“He be gone in a minute.” Dilsey said. “I leave the light on in your
room.”
“All right.” Caddy said. She snuggled her head beside mine on the
pillow. “Goodnight, Dilsey.”
“Goodnight, honey.” Dilsey said. The room went black. _Caddy smelled
like trees._
We looked up into the tree where she was.
“What she seeing, Versh.” Frony whispered.
“Shhhhhhh.” Caddy said in the tree. Dilsey said,
“You come on here.” She came around the corner of the house. “Whyn’t you
all go on up stairs, like your paw said, stead of slipping out behind my
back. Where’s Caddy and Quentin.”
“I told her not to climb up that tree.” Jason said. “I’m going to tell
on her.”
“Who in what tree.” Dilsey said. She came and looked up into the tree.
“Caddy.” Dilsey said. The branches began to shake again.
“You, Satan.” Dilsey said. “Come down from there.”
“Hush.” Caddy said, “Dont you know Father said to be quiet.” Her legs
came in sight and Dilsey reached up and lifted her out of the tree.
“Aint you got any better sense than to let them come around here.”
Dilsey said.
“I couldn’t do nothing with her.” Versh said.
“What you all doing here.” Dilsey said. “Who told you to come up to the
house.”
“She did.” Frony said. “She told us to come.”
“Who told you you got to do what she say.” Dilsey said. “Get on home,
now.” Frony and T. P. went on. We couldn’t see them when they were still
going away.
“Out here in the middle of the night.” Dilsey said. She took me up and
we went to the kitchen.
“Slipping out behind my back.” Dilsey said. “When you knowed it’s past
your bedtime.”
“Shhhh, Dilsey.” Caddy said. “Dont talk so loud. We’ve got to be quiet.”
“You hush your mouth and get quiet, then.” Dilsey said. “Where’s
Quentin.”
“Quentin’s mad because he had to mind me tonight.” Caddy said. “He’s
still got T. P.’s bottle of lightning bugs.”
“I reckon T. P. can get along without it.” Dilsey said. “You go and find
Quentin, Versh. Roskus say he seen him going towards the barn.” Versh
went on. We couldn’t see him.
“They’re not doing anything in there.” Caddy said. “Just sitting in
chairs and looking.”
“They dont need no help from you all to do that.” Dilsey said. We went
around the kitchen.
_Where you want to go now, Luster said. You going back to watch them
knocking ball again. We done looked for it over there. Here. Wait a
minute. You wait right here while I go back and get that ball. I done
thought of something._
The kitchen was dark. The trees were black on the sky. Dan came waddling
out from under the steps and chewed my ankle. I went around the kitchen,
where the moon was. Dan came scuffling along, into the moon.
“Benjy.” T. P. said in the house.
The flower tree by the parlor window wasn’t dark, but the thick trees
were. The grass was buzzing in the moonlight where my shadow walked on
the grass.
“You, Benjy.” T. P. said in the house. “Where you hiding. You slipping
off. I knows it.”
_Luster came back. Wait, he said. Here. Dont go over there. Miss Quentin
and her beau in the swing yonder. You come on this way. Come back here,
Benjy._
It was dark under the trees. Dan wouldn’t come. He stayed in the
moonlight. Then I could see the swing and I began to cry.
_Come away from there, Benjy, Luster said. You know Miss Quentin going
to get mad._
It was two now, and then one in the swing. Caddy came fast, white in the
darkness.
“Benjy,” she said. “How did you slip out. Where’s Versh.”
She put her arms around me and I hushed and held to her dress and tried
to pull her away.
“Why, Benjy.” she said. “What is it. T. P.” she called.
The one in the swing got up and came, and I cried and pulled Caddy’s
dress.
“Benjy.” Caddy said. “It’s just Charlie. Dont you know Charlie.”
“Where’s his nigger.” Charlie said. “What do they let him run around
loose for.”
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Go away, Charlie. He doesn’t like you.”
Charlie went away and I hushed. I pulled at Caddy’s dress.
“Why, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Aren’t you going to let me stay here and talk
to Charlie awhile.”
“Call that nigger.” Charlie said. He came back. I cried louder and
pulled at Caddy’s dress.
“Go away, Charlie.” Caddy said. Charlie came and put his hands on Caddy
and I cried more. I cried loud.
“No, no.” Caddy said. “No. No.”
“He cant talk.” Charlie said. “Caddy.”
“Are you crazy.” Caddy said. She began to breathe fast. “He can see.
Dont. Dont.” Caddy fought. They both breathed fast. “Please. Please.”
Caddy whispered.
“Send him away.” Charlie said.
“I will.” Caddy said. “Let me go.”
“Will you send him away.” Charlie said.
“Yes.” Caddy said. “Let me go.” Charlie went away. “Hush.” Caddy said.
“He’s gone.” I hushed. I could hear her and feel her chest going.
“I’ll have to take him to the house.” she said. She took my hand. “I’m
coming.” she whispered.
“Wait.” Charlie said. “Call the nigger.”
“No.” Caddy said. “I’ll come back. Come on, Benjy.”
“Caddy.” Charlie whispered, loud. We went on. “You better come back. Are
you coming back.” Caddy and I were running. “Caddy.” Charlie said. We
ran out into the moonlight, toward the kitchen.
“Caddy.” Charlie said.
Caddy and I ran. We ran up the kitchen steps, onto the porch, and Caddy
knelt down in the dark and held me. I could hear her and feel her chest.
“I wont.” she said. “I wont anymore, ever. Benjy. Benjy.” Then she was
crying, and I cried, and we held each other. “Hush.” she said. “Hush. I
wont anymore.” So I hushed and Caddy got up and we went into the kitchen
and turned the light on and Caddy took the kitchen soap and washed her
mouth at the sink, hard. Caddy smelled like trees.
_I kept a telling you to stay away from there, Luster said. They sat up
in the swing, quick. Quentin had her hands on her hair. He had a red
tie._
_You old crazy loon, Quentin said. I’m going to tell Dilsey about the
way you let him follow everywhere I go. I’m going to make her whip you
good._
“I couldn’t stop him.” Luster said. “Come on here, Benjy.”
“Yes you could.” Quentin said. “You didn’t try. You were both snooping
around after me. Did Grandmother send you all out here to spy on me.”
She jumped out of the swing. “If you dont take him right away this
minute and keep him away, I’m going to make Jason whip you.”
“I cant do nothing with him.” Luster said. “You try it if you think you
can.”
“Shut your mouth.” Quentin said. “Are you going to get him away.”
“Ah, let him stay.” he said. He had a red tie. The sun was red on it.
“Look here, Jack.” He struck a match and put it in his mouth. Then he
took the match out of his mouth. It was still burning. “Want to try it.”
he said. I went over there. “Open your mouth.” he said. I opened my
mouth. Quentin hit the match with her hand and it went away.
“Goddamn you.” Quentin said. “Do you want to get him started. Dont you
know he’ll beller all day. I’m going to tell Dilsey on you.” She went
away running.
“Here, kid.” he said. “Hey. Come on back. I aint going to fool with
him.”
Quentin ran on to the house. She went around the kitchen.
“You played hell then, Jack.” he said. “Aint you.”
“He cant tell what you saying.” Luster said. “He deef and dumb.”
“Is.” he said. “How long’s he been that way.”
“Been that way thirty-three years today.” Luster said. “Born looney. Is
you one of them show folks.”
“Why.” he said.
“I dont ricklick seeing you around here before.” Luster said.
“Well, what about it.” he said.
“Nothing.” Luster said. “I going tonight.”
He looked at me.
“You aint the one can play a tune on that saw, is you.” Luster said.
“It’ll cost you a quarter to find that out.” he said. He looked at me.
“Why dont they lock him up.” he said. “What’d you bring him out here
for.”
“You aint talking to me.” Luster said. “I cant do nothing with him. I
just come over here looking for a quarter I lost so I can go to the show
tonight. Look like now I aint going to get to go.” Luster looked on the
ground. “You aint got no extra quarter, is you.” Luster said.
“No.” he said. “I aint.”
“I reckon I just have to find that other one, then.” Luster said. He put
his hand in his pocket. “You dont want to buy no golf ball neither, does
you.” Luster said.
“What kind of ball.” he said.
“Golf ball.” Luster said. “I dont want but a quarter.”
“What for.” he said. “What do I want with it.”
“I didn’t think you did.” Luster said. “Come on here, mulehead.” he
said. “Come on here and watch them knocking that ball. Here. Here
something you can play with along with that jimson weed.” Luster picked
it up and gave it to me. It was bright.
“Where’d you get that.” he said. His tie was red in the sun, walking.
“Found it under this here bush.” Luster said. “I thought for a minute it
was that quarter I lost.”
He came and took it.
“Hush.” Luster said. “He going to give it back when he done looking at
it.”
“Agnes Mabel Becky.” he said. He looked toward the house.
“Hush.” Luster said. “He fixing to give it back.”
He gave it to me and I hushed.
“Who come to see her last night.” he said.
“I dont know.” Luster said. “They comes every night she can climb down
that tree. I dont keep no track of them.”
“Damn if one of them didn’t leave a track.” he said. He looked at the
house. Then he went and lay down in the swing. “Go away.” he said. “Dont
bother me.”
“Come on here.” Luster said. “You done played hell now. Time Miss
Quentin get done telling on you.”
We went to the fence and looked through the curling flower spaces.
Luster hunted in the grass.
“I had it right here.” he said. I saw the flag flapping, and the sun
slanting on the broad grass.
“They’ll be some along soon.” Luster said. “There some now, but they
going away. Come on and help me look for it.”
We went along the fence.
“Hush.” Luster said. “How can I make them come over here, if they aint
coming. Wait. They’ll be some in a minute. Look yonder. Here they come.”
I went along the fence, to the gate, where the girls passed with their
booksatchels. “You, Benjy.” Luster said. “Come back here.”
_You cant do no good looking through the gate, T. P. said. Miss Caddy
done gone long ways away. Done got married and left you. You cant do no
good, holding to the gate and crying. She cant hear you._
_What is it he wants, T. P. Mother said. Cant you play with him and keep
him quiet._
_He want to go down yonder and look through the gate, T. P. said._
_Well, he cannot do it, Mother said. It’s raining. You will just have to
play with him and keep him quiet. You, Benjamin._
_Aint nothing going to quiet him, T. P. said. He think if he down to the
gate, Miss Caddy come back._
_Nonsense, Mother said._
I could hear them talking. I went out the door and I couldn’t hear them,
and I went down to the gate, where the girls passed with their
booksatchels. They looked at me, walking fast, with their heads turned.
I tried to say, but they went on, and I went along the fence, trying to
say, and they went faster. Then they were running and I came to the
corner of the fence and I couldn’t go any further, and I held to the
fence, looking after them and trying to say.
“You, Benjy.” T. P. said. “What you doing, slipping out. Dont you know
Dilsey whip you.”
“You cant do no good, moaning and slobbering through the fence.” T. P.
said. “You done skeered them chillen. Look at them, walking on the other
side of the street.”
_How did he get out, Father said. Did you leave the gate unlatched when
you came in, Jason._
_Of course not, Jason said. Dont you know I’ve got better sense than to
do that. Do you think I wanted anything like this to happen. This family
is bad enough, God knows. I could have told you, all the time. I reckon
you’ll send him to Jackson, now. If Mrs Burgess dont shoot him first._
_Hush, Father said._
_I could have told you, all the time, Jason said._
It was open when I touched it, and I held to it in the twilight. I
wasn’t crying, and I tried to stop, watching the girls coming along in
the twilight. I wasn’t crying.
“There he is.”
They stopped.
“He cant get out. He wont hurt anybody, anyway. Come on.”
“I’m scared to. I’m scared. I’m going to cross the street.”
“He cant get out.”
I wasn’t crying.
“Dont be a ’fraid cat. Come on.”
They came on in the twilight. I wasn’t crying, and I held to the gate.
They came slow.
“I’m scared.”
“He wont hurt you. I pass here every day. He just runs along the fence.”
They came on. I opened the gate and they stopped, turning. I was trying
to say, and I caught her, trying to say, and she screamed and I was
trying to say and trying and the bright shapes began to stop and I tried
to get out. I tried to get it off of my face, but the bright shapes were
going again. They were going up the hill to where it fell away and I
tried to cry. But when I breathed in, I couldn’t breathe out again to
cry, and I tried to keep from falling off the hill and I fell off the
hill into the bright, whirling shapes.
_Here, loony, Luster said. Here come some. Hush your slobbering and
moaning, now._