so good welcome as he did expect, was all amort, Parmeno meets him,
quid tristis es? Why art thou so sad man? unde es? whence comest, how
doest? but he sadly replies, Ego hercle nescio neque unde eam, neque
quorsum eam, ita prorsus oblitus sum mei, I have so forgotten myself, I
neither know where I am, nor whence I come, nor whether I will, what I
do. P. [5370]How so? Ch. I am in love. Prudens sciens. [5371]—vivus
vidensque pereo, nec quid agam scio. [5372]He that erst had his
thoughts free (as Philostratus Lemnius, in an epistle of his, describes
this fiery passion), and spent his time like a hard student, in those
delightsome philosophical precepts; he that with the sun and moon
wandered all over the world, with stars themselves ranged about, and
left no secret or small mystery in nature unsearched, since he was
enamoured can do nothing now but think and meditate of love matters,
day and night composeth himself how to please his mistress; all his
study, endeavour, is to approve himself to his mistress, to win his
mistress' favour, to compass his desire, to be counted her servant.
When Peter Abelard, that great scholar of his age, Cui soli patuit
scibile quicquid erat,[5373](whose faculties were equal to any
difficulty in learning,) was now in love with Heloise, he had no mind
to visit or frequent schools and scholars any more, Taediosum mihi
valde fuit (as he [5374]confesseth) ad scholas procedere, vel in iis
morari, all his mind was on his new mistress.
Now to this end and purpose, if there be any hope of obtaining his
suit, to prosecute his cause, he will spend himself, goods, fortunes
for her, and though he lose and alienate all his friends, be
threatened, be cast off, and disinherited; for as the poet saith, Amori
quis legem det?[5375] though he be utterly undone by it, disgraced, go
a begging, yet for her sweet sake, to enjoy her, he will willingly beg,
hazard all he hath, goods, lands, shame, scandal, fame, and life
itself.
Non recedam neque quiescam, noctu et interdiu,
profecto quam aut ipsam, aut mortem investigavero.
I'll never rest or cease my suit
Till she or death do make me mute.
Parthenis in Aristaenetus [5376]was fully resolved to do as much. I may
have better matches, I confess, but farewell shame, farewell honour,
farewell honesty, farewell friends and fortunes, &c. O, Harpedona, keep
my counsel, I will leave all for his sweet sake, I will have him, say
no more, contra gentes, I am resolved, I will have him. Gobrias[5377],
the captain, when, he had espied Rhodanthe, the fair captive maid, fell
upon his knees before Mystilus, the general, with tears, vows, and all
the rhetoric he could, by the scars he had formerly received, the good
service he had done, or whatsoever else was dear unto him, besought his
governor he might have the captive virgin to be his wife, virtutis suae
spolium, as a reward of his worth and service; and, moreover, he would
forgive him the money which was owing, and all reckonings besides due
unto him, I ask no more, no part of booty, no portion, but Rhodanthe to
be my wife. And when as he could not compass her by fair means, he fell
to treachery, force and villainy, and set his life at stake at last to
accomplish his desire. 'Tis a common humour this, a general passion of
all lovers to be so affected, and which Aemilia told Aratine, a
courtier in Castilio's discourse, surely Aratine, if thou werst not so
indeed, thou didst not love; ingenuously confess, for if thou hadst
been thoroughly enamoured, thou wouldst have desired nothing more than
to please thy mistress. For that is the law of love, to will and nill
the same.[5378]Tantum velle et nolle, velit nolit quod amica?[5379]
Undoubtedly this may be pronounced of them all, they are very slaves,
drudges for the time, madmen, fools, dizzards, atrabilarii[5380],
beside themselves, and as blind as beetles. Their dotage [5381]is most
eminent, Amore simul et sapere ipsi Jovi non datur, as Seneca holds,
Jupiter himself cannot love and be wise both together; the very best of
them, if once they be overtaken with this passion, the most staid,
discreet, grave, generous and wise, otherwise able to govern
themselves, in this commit many absurdities, many indecorums,
unbefitting their gravity and persons.
[5382]Quisquis amat servit, sequitur captivus amantem,
Fert domita cervice jugum———
Samson, David, Solomon, Hercules, Socrates, &c. are justly taxed of
indiscretion in this point; the middle sort are between hawk and
buzzard; and although they do perceive and acknowledge their own
dotage, weakness, fury, yet they cannot withstand it; as well may
witness those expostulations and confessions of Dido in Virgil.
[5383]Incipit effari mediaque in voce resistit.
Phaedra in Seneca.
[5384]Quod ratio poscit, vincit ac regnat furor,
Potensque tota mente dominatur deus.
Myrrha in [5385]. Ovid
Illa quidem sentit, foedoque repugnat amori,
Et secum quo mente feror, quid molior, inquit,
Dii precor, et pietas, &c.
She sees and knows her fault, and doth resist,
Against her filthy lust she doth contend.
And whither go I, what am I about?
And God forbid, yet doth it in the end.
Again,
———Per vigil igne
Carpitur indomito, furiosaque vota retrectat,
Et modo desperat, modo vult tentare, pudetque
Et cupit, et quid agat, non invenit, &c.
With raging lust she burns, and now recalls
Her vow, and then despairs, and when 'tis past,
Her former thoughts she'll prosecute in haste,
And what to do she knows not at the last.
She will and will not, abhors: and yet as Medea did, doth it,
———Trahit invitam nova via, aliudque cupido,
Mens aliud suadet; video meliora, proboque,
Deteriora sequor.———
Reason pulls one way, burning lust another,
She sees and knows what's good, but she doth neither,
O fraus, amorque, et mentis emotae furor,
quo me abstulistis?[5386]
The major part of lovers are carried headlong like so many brute
beasts, reason counsels one way, thy friends, fortunes, shame,
disgrace, danger, and an ocean of cares that will certainly follow; yet
this furious lust precipitates, counterpoiseth, weighs down on the
other; though it be their utter undoing, perpetual infamy, loss, yet
they will do it, and become at last insensati, void of sense;
degenerate into dogs, hogs, asses, brutes; as Jupiter into a bull,
Apuleius an ass, Lycaon a wolf, Tereus a lapwing,[5387]Calisto a bear,
Elpenor and Grillus info swine by Circe. For what else may we think
those ingenious poets to have shadowed in their witty fictions and
poems but that a man once given over to his lust (as [5388]Fulgentius
interprets that of Apuleius, Alciat of Tereus) is no better than a
beast.
Rex fueram, sic crista docet, sed sordida vita
Immundam e tanto culmine fecit avem.[5389]
I was a king, my crown my witness is,
But by my filthiness am come to this.
Their blindness is all out as great, as manifest as their weakness and
dotage, or rather an inseparable companion, an ordinary sign of it,
[5390] love is blind, as the saying is, Cupid's blind, and so are all
his followers. Quisquis amat ranam, ranam putat esse Dianam. Every
lover admires his mistress, though she be very deformed of herself,
ill-favoured, wrinkled, pimpled, pale, red, yellow, tanned,
tallow-faced, have a swollen juggler's platter face, or a thin, lean,
chitty face, have clouds in her face, be crooked, dry, bald,
goggle-eyed, blear-eyed, or with staring eyes, she looks like a
squissed cat, hold her head still awry, heavy, dull, hollow-eyed, black
or yellow about the eyes, or squint-eyed, sparrow-mouthed, Persian
hook-nosed, have a sharp fox nose, a red nose, China flat, great nose,
nare simo patuloque, a nose like a promontory, gubber-tushed, rotten
teeth, black, uneven, brown teeth, beetle browed, a witch's beard, her
breath stink all over the room, her nose drop winter and summer, with a
Bavarian poke under her chin, a sharp chin, lave eared, with a long
crane's neck, which stands awry too, pendulis mammis, her dugs like two
double jugs, or else no dugs, in that other extreme, bloody fallen
fingers, she have filthy, long unpared nails, scabbed hands or wrists,
a tanned skin, a rotten carcass, crooked back, she stoops, is lame,
splay-footed, as slender in the middle as a cow in the waist, gouty
legs, her ankles hang over her shoes, her feet stink, she breed lice, a
mere changeling, a very monster, an oaf imperfect, her whole complexion
savours, a harsh voice, incondite gesture, vile gait, a vast virago, or
an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs, a truss, a long lean rawbone, a
skeleton, a sneaker (si qua latent meliora puta), and to thy judgment
looks like a merd in a lantern, whom thou couldst not fancy for a
world, but hatest, loathest, and wouldst have spit in her face, or blow
thy nose in her bosom, remedium amoris to another man, a dowdy, a slut,
a scold, a nasty, rank, rammy, filthy, beastly quean, dishonest
peradventure, obscene, base, beggarly, rude, foolish, untaught,
peevish, Irus' daughter, Thersites' sister, Grobians' scholar, if he
love her once, he admires her for all this, he takes no notice of any
such errors, or imperfections of body or mind, [5391]Ipsa
haec—delectant, veluti Balbinum Polypus Agnae,; he had rather have her
than any woman in the world. If he were a king, she alone should be his
queen, his empress. O that he had but the wealth and treasure of both
the Indies to endow her with, a carrack of diamonds, a chain of pearl,
a cascanet of jewels, (a pair of calfskin gloves of four-pence a pair
were fitter), or some such toy, to send her for a token, she should
have it with all his heart; he would spend myriads of crowns for her
sake. Venus herself, Panthea, Cleopatra, Tarquin's Tanaquil, Herod's
Mariamne, or [5392]Mary of Burgundy, if she were alive, would not match
her.
([5393]Vincit vultus haec Tyndarios,
Qui moverunt horrida bellla.
Let Paris himself be judge) renowned Helen comes short, that Rodopheian
Phillis, Larissean Coronis, Babylonian Thisbe, Polixena, Laura, Lesbia,
&c., your counterfeit ladies were never so fair as she is.
[5394]Quicquid erit placidi, lepidi, grati, atque faceti,
Vivida cunctorum retines Pandora deorum.
Whate'er is pretty, pleasant, facete, well,
Whate'er Pandora had, she doth excel.
[5395]Dicebam Trivioe formam nihil esse Dianoe. Diana was not to be
compared to her, nor Juno, nor Minerva, nor any goddess. Thetis' feet
were as bright as silver, the ankles of Hebe clearer than crystal, the
arms of Aurora as ruddy as the rose, Juno's breasts as white as snow,
Minerva wise, Venus fair; but what of this? Dainty come thou to me. She
is all in all,
[5396]———Caelia ridens
Est Venus, incedens Juno, Minerva loquens.
[5397]Fairest of fair, that fairness doth excel.
Ephemerus in Aristaenetus, so far admireth his mistress' good parts,
that he makes proclamation of them, and challengeth all comers in her
behalf. [5398]Whoever saw the beauties of the east, or of the west, let
them come from all quarters, all, and tell truth, if ever they saw such
an excellent feature as this is. A good fellow in Petronius cries out,
no tongue can [5399]tell his lady's fine feature, or express it,
quicquid dixeris minus erit, &c.
No tongue can her perfections tell,
In whose each part, all tongues may dwell.
Most of your lovers are of his humour and opinion. She is nulli
secunda, a rare creature, a phoenix, the sole commandress of his
thoughts, queen of his desires, his only delight: as [5400]Triton now
feelingly sings, that lovesick sea-god:
Candida Leucothoe placet, et placet atra Melaene,
Sed Galatea placet longe magis omnibus una.
Fair Leucothe, black Melene please me well,
But Galatea doth by odds the rest excel.
All the gracious elogies, metaphors, hyperbolical comparisons of the
best things in the world, the most glorious names; whatsoever, I say,
is pleasant, amiable, sweet, grateful, and delicious, are too little
for her.
Phoebo pulchrior et sorore Phoebi.
His Phoebe is so fair, she is so bright,
She dims the sun's lustre, and the moon's light.
Stars, sun, moons, metals, sweet-smelling flowers, odours, perfumes,
colours, gold, silver, ivory, pearls, precious stones, snow, painted
birds, doves, honey, sugar, spice, cannot express her, [5401]so soft,
so tender, so radiant, sweet, so fair is she.—Mollior cuniculi capillo,
&c.
[5402]Lydia bella, puelia candida,
Quae bene superas lac, et lilium,
Albamque simul rosam et rubicundam,
Et expolitum ebur Indicum.
Fine Lydia, my mistress, white and fair,
The milk, the lily do not thee come near;
The rose so white, the rose so red to see,
And Indian ivory comes short of thee.
Such a description our English Homer makes of a fair lady
[5403]That Emilia that was fairer to seen,
Then is lily upon the stalk green:
And fresher then May with flowers new,
For with the rose colour strove her hue,
I no't which was the fairer of the two.
In this very phrase [5404]Polyphemus courts Galatea:
Candidior folio nivei Galatea ligustri,
Floridior prato, longa procerior alno,
Splendidior vitro, tenero lascivior haedo, &c.
Mollior et cygni plumis, et lacte coacto.
Whiter Galet than the white withie-wind,
Fresher than a field, higher than a tree,
Brighter than glass, more wanton than a kid,
Softer than swan's down, or ought that may be.
So she admires him again, in that conceited dialogue of Lucian, which
John Secundus, an elegant Dutch modern poet, hath translated into
verse. When Doris and those other sea nymphs upbraided her with her
ugly misshapen lover, Polyphemus; she replies, they speak out of envy
and malice,
[5405]Et plane invidia huc mera vos stimulare videtur.
Quod non vos itidem ut me Polyphemus amet;
Say what they could, he was a proper man. And as Heloise writ to her
sweetheart Peter Abelard, Si me Augustus orbis imperator uxorem
expeteret, mallem tua esse meretrix quam orbis imperatrix; she had
rather be his vassal, his quean, than the world's empress or queen.—non
si me Jupiter ipse forte velit,—she would not change her love for
Jupiter himself.
To thy thinking she is a most loathsome creature; and as when a country
fellow discommended once that exquisite picture of Helen, made by
Zeuxis, [5406]for he saw no such beauty in it; Nichomachus a lovesick
spectator replied, Sume tibi meos oculos et deam existimabis, take mine
eyes, and thou wilt think she is a goddess, dote on her forthwith,
count all her vices virtues; her imperfections infirmities, absolute
and perfect: if she be flat-nosed, she is lovely; if hook-nosed,
kingly; if dwarfish and little, pretty; if tall, proper and man-like,
our brave British Boadicea; if crooked, wise; if monstrous, comely; her
defects are no defects at all, she hath no deformities. Immo nec ipsum
amicae stercus foetet, though she be nasty, fulsome, as Sostratus'
bitch, or Parmeno's sow; thou hadst as live have a snake in thy bosom,
a toad in thy dish, and callest her witch, devil, hag, with all the
filthy names thou canst invent; he admires her on the other side, she
is his idol, lady, mistress, [5407]venerilla, queen, the quintessence
of beauty, an angel, a star, a goddess.
Thou art my Vesta, thou my goddess art,
Thy hallowed temple only is my heart.
The fragrancy of a thousand courtesans is in her face: [5408]Nec
pulchrae effigies, haec Cypridis aut Stratonices; 'tis not Venus'
picture that, nor the Spanish infanta's, as you suppose (good sir), no
princess, or king's daughter: no, no, but his divine mistress,
forsooth, his dainty Dulcinia, his dear Antiphila, to whose service he
is wholly consecrate, whom he alone adores.
[5409]Cui comparatus indecens erit pavo,
Inamabilis sciurus, et frequens Phoenix.
To whom conferr'd a peacock's indecent,
A squirrel's harsh, a phoenix too frequent.
All the graces, veneries, elegancies, pleasures, attend her. He prefers
her before a myriad of court ladies.
[5410]He that commends Phillis or Neraea,
Or Amaryllis, or Galatea,
Tityrus or Melibea, by your leave,
Let him be mute, his love the praises have.
Nay, before all the gods and goddesses themselves. So [5411]Quintus
Catullus admired his squint-eyed friend Roscius.
Pace mihi liceat (Coelestes) dicere vestra,
Mortalis visus pulchrior esse Deo.
By your leave gentle Gods, this I'll say true,
There's none of you that have so fair a hue.
All the bombast epithets, pathetical adjuncts, incomparably fair,
curiously neat, divine, sweet, dainty, delicious, &c., pretty
diminutives, corculum, suaviolum, &c. pleasant names may be invented,
bird, mouse, lamb, puss, pigeon, pigsney, kid, honey, love, dove,
chicken, &c. he puts on her.
[5412]Meum mel, mea suavitas, meum cor,
Meum suaviolum, mei lepores,
my life, my light, my jewel, my glory, [5413]Margareta speciosa, cujus
respectu omnia mundi pretiosa sordent, my sweet Margaret, my sole
delight and darling. And as [5414]Rhodomant courted Isabella:
By all kind words and gestures that he might,
He calls her his dear heart, his sole beloved,
His joyful comfort, and his sweet delight.
His mistress, and his goddess, and such names,
As loving knights apply to lovely dames.
Every cloth she wears, every fashion pleaseth him above measure; her
hand, O quales digitos, quos habet illa manus! pretty foot, pretty
coronets, her sweet carriage, sweet voice, tone, O that pretty tone,
her divine and lovely looks, her every thing, lovely, sweet, amiable,
and pretty, pretty, pretty. Her very name (let it be what it will) is a
most pretty, pleasing name; I believe now there is some secret power
and virtue in names, every action, sight, habit, gesture; he admires,
whether she play, sing, or dance, in what tires soever she goeth, how
excellent it was, how well it became her, never the like seen or heard.
[5415]Mille habet ornatus, mille decenter habet. Let her wear what she
will, do what she will, say what she will, [5416]Quicquid enim dicit,
seu facit, omne decet. He applauds and admires everything she wears,
saith or doth,
[5417]Illam quicquid agit, quoquo vestigia vertit,
Composuit furtim subsequiturque decor;
Seu solvit crines, fusis decet esse capillis,
Seu compsit, comptis est reverenda comis.
Whate'er she doth, or whither e'er she go,
A sweet and pleasing grace attends forsooth;
Or loose, or bind her hair, or comb it up,
She's to be honoured in what she doth.
[5418]Vestem induitur, formosa est: exuitur, tota forma est, let her be
dressed or undressed, all is one, she is excellent still, beautiful,
fair, and lovely to behold. Women do as much by men; nay more, far
fonder, weaker, and that by many parasangs. Come to me my dear Lycias,
(saith Musaeus in [5419]Aristaenetus) come quickly sweetheart, all
other men are satyrs, mere clowns, blockheads to thee, nobody to thee.
Thy looks, words, gestures, actions, &c., are incomparably beyond all
others. Venus was never so much besotted on her Adonis, Phaedra so
delighted in Hippolitus, Ariadne in Theseus, Thisbe in her Pyramus, as
she is enamoured on her Mopsus.
Be thou the marigold, and I will be the sun,
Be thou the friar, and I will be the nun.
I could repeat centuries of such. Now tell me what greater dotage or
blindness can there be than this in both sexes? and yet their slavery
is more eminent, a greater sign of their folly than the rest.
They are commonly slaves, captives, voluntary servants, Amator amicae
mancipium, as [5420]Castilio terms him, his mistress' servant, her
drudge, prisoner, bondman, what not? He composeth himself wholly to her
affections to please her, and, as Aemelia said, makes himself her
lackey. All his cares, actions, all his thoughts, are subordinate to
her will and commandment: her most devote, obsequious, affectionate
servant and vassal. For love (as [5421]Cyrus in Xenophon well observed)
is a mere tyranny, worse than any disease, and they that are troubled
with it desire to be free and cannot, but are harder bound than if they
were in iron chains. What greater captivity or slavery can there be (as
[5422]Tully expostulates) than to be in love? Is he a free man over
whom a woman domineers, to whom she prescribes laws, commands, forbids
what she will herself; that dares deny nothing she demands; she asks,
he gives; she calls, he comes; she threatens, he fears; Nequissimum
hunc servum puto, I account this man a very drudge. And as he follows
it, [5423]Is this no small servitude for an enamourite to be every hour
combing his head, stiffening his beard, perfuming his hair, washing his
face with sweet water, painting, curling, and not to come abroad but
sprucely crowned, decked, and apparelled? Yet these are but toys in
respect, to go to the barber, baths, theatres, &c., he must attend upon
her wherever she goes, run along the streets by her doors and windows
to see her, take all opportunities, sleeveless errands, disguise,
counterfeit shapes, and as many forms as Jupiter himself ever took; and
come every day to her house (as he will surely do if he be truly
enamoured) and offer her service, and follow her up and down from room
to room, as Lucretia's suitors did, he cannot contain himself but he
will do it, he must and will be where she is, sit next her, still
talking with her. [5424]If I did but let my glove fall by chance, (as
the said Aretine's Lucretia brags,) I had one of my suitors, nay two or
three at once ready to stoop and take it up, and kiss it, and with a
low conge deliver it unto me; if I would walk, another was ready to
sustain me by the arm. A third to provide fruits, pears, plums,
cherries, or whatsoever I would eat or drink. All this and much more he
doth in her presence, and when he comes home, as Troilus to his
Cressida, 'tis all his meditation to recount with himself his actions,
words, gestures, what entertainment he had, how kindly she used him in
such a place, how she smiled, how she graced him, and that infinitely
pleased him; and then he breaks out, O sweet Areusa, O my dearest
Antiphila, O most divine looks, O lovely graces, and thereupon
instantly he makes an epigram, or a sonnet to five or seven tunes, in
her commendation, or else he ruminates how she rejected his service,
denied him a kiss, disgraced him, &c., and that as effectually torments
him. And these are his exercises between comb and glass, madrigals,
elegies, &c., these his cogitations till he see her again. But all this
is easy and gentle, and the least part of his labour and bondage, no
hunter will take such pains for his game, fowler for his sport, or
soldier to sack a city, as he will for his mistress' favour.
[5425]Ipsa comes veniam, neque me salebrosa movebunt
Saxa, nec obliquo dente timendus aper.
As Phaedra to Hippolitus. No danger shall affright, for if that be true
the poets feign, Love is the son of Mars and Venus; as he hath
delights, pleasures, elegances from his mother, so hath he hardness,
valour, and boldness from his father. And 'tis true that Bernard hath;
Amore nihil mollius, nihil volentius, nothing so boisterous, nothing so
tender as love. If once, therefore, enamoured, he will go, run, ride
many a mile to meet her, day and night, in a very dark night, endure
scorching heat, cold, wait in frost and snow, rain, tempest, till his
teeth chatter in his head, those northern winds and showers cannot cool
or quench his flame of love. Intempesta nocte non deterretur, he will,
take my word, sustain hunger, thirst, Penetrabit omnia, perrumpet
omnia, love will find out a way, through thick and thin he will to her,
Expeditissimi montes videntur omnes tranabiles, he will swim through an
ocean, ride post over the Alps, Apennines, or Pyrenean hills,
[5426]Ignem marisque fluctus, atque turbines
Venti paratus est transire,———