report Phillis went nine times to the seaside that day, to see if her
Demophoon were approaching, and [5293]Troilus to the city gates, to
look for his Cresseid. She is ill at ease, and sick till she see him
again, peevish in the meantime; discontent, heavy, sad, and why comes
he not? where is he? why breaks he promise? why tarries he so long?
sure he is not well; sure he hath some mischance; sure he forgets
himself and me; with infinite such. And then, confident again, up she
gets, out she looks, listens, and inquires, hearkens, kens; every man
afar off is sure he, every stirring in the street, now he is there,
that's he, male aurorae, malae soli dicit, deiratque, &c., the longest
day that ever was, so she raves, restless and impatient; for Amor non
patitur moras, love brooks no delays: the time's quickly gone that's
spent in her company, the miles short, the way pleasant; all weather is
good whilst he goes to her house, heat or cold; though his teeth
chatter in his head, he moves not; wet or dry, 'tis all one; wet to the
skin, he feels it not, cares not at least for it, but will easily
endure it and much more, because it is done with alacrity, and for his
mistress's sweet sake; let the burden be never so heavy, love makes it
light. [5294]Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and it was quickly
gone because he loved her. None so merry; if he may happily enjoy her
company, he is in heaven for a time; and if he may not, dejected in an
instant, solitary, silent, he departs weeping, lamenting, sighing,
complaining.
But the symptoms of the mind in lovers are almost infinite, and so
diverse, that no art can comprehend them; though they be merry
sometimes, and rapt beyond themselves for joy: yet most part, love is a
plague, a torture, a hell, a bitter sweet passion at last; [5295]Amor
melle et felle est faecundissimus, gustum dat dulcem et amarum. 'Tis
suavis amaricies, dolentia delectabilis, hilare tormentum;
[5296]Et me melle beant suaviora,
Et me felle necant amariora.
like a summer fly or sphinx's wings, or a rainbow of all colours,
Quae ad solis radios conversae aureae erant,
Adversus nubes ceruleae, quale jabar iridis,
fair, foul, and full of variation, though most part irksome and bad.
For in a word, the Spanish Inquisition is not comparable to it; a
torment and [5297]execution as it is, as he calls it in the poet, an
unquenchable fire, and what not? [5298]From it, saith Austin, arise
biting cares, perturbations, passions, sorrows, fears, suspicions,
discontents, contentions, discords, wars, treacheries, enmities,
flattery, cozening, riot, impudence, cruelty, knavery, &c.
[5299]———dolor, querelae,
Lamentatio, lachrymae perennes,
Languor, anxietas, amaritudo;
Aut si triste magis potest quid esse,
Hos tu das comites Neaera vitae.
These be the companions of lovers, and the ordinary symptoms, as the
poet repeats them.
[5300]In amore haec insunt vitia,
Suspiciones, inimicitiae, audaciae,
Bellum, pax rursum, &c.
[5301]Insomnia, aerumna, error, terror, et fuga,
Excogitantia excors immodestia,
Petulantia, cupiditas, et malevolentia;
Inhaeret etiam aviditas, desidia, injuria,
Inopia, contumelia et dispendium, &c.
In love these vices are; suspicions.
Peace, war, and impudence, detractions.
Dreams, cares, and errors, terrors and affrights,
Immodest pranks, devices, sleights and flights,
Heart-burnings, wants, neglects, desire of wrong,
Loss continual, expense and hurt among.
Every poet is full of such catalogues of love symptoms; but fear and
sorrow may justly challenge the chief place. Though Hercules de
Saxonia, cap. 3. Tract. de melanch. will exclude fear from love
melancholy, yet I am otherwise persuaded. [5302]Res est solliciti plena
timoris amor. 'Tis full of fear, anxiety, doubt, care, peevishness,
suspicion; it turns a man into a woman, which made Hesiod belike put
Fear and Paleness Venus' daughters,
———Marti clypeos atque arma secanti
Alma Venus peperit Pallorem, unaque Timorem:
because fear and love are still linked together. Moreover they are apt
to mistake, amplify, too credulous sometimes, too full of hope and
confidence, and then again very jealous, unapt to believe or entertain
any good news. The comical poet hath prettily painted out this passage
amongst the rest in a [5303]dialogue betwixt Mitio and Aeschines, a
gentle father and a lovesick son. Be of good cheer, my son, thou shalt
have her to wife. Ae. Ah father, do you mock me now? M. I mock thee,
why? Ae. That which I so earnestly desire, I more suspect and fear. M.
Get you home, and send for her to be your wife. Ae. What now a wife,
now father, &c. These doubts, anxieties, suspicions, are the least part
of their torments; they break many times from passions to actions,
speak fair, and flatter, now most obsequious and willing, by and by
they are averse, wrangle, fight, swear, quarrel, laugh, weep: and he
that doth not so by fits, [5304]Lucian holds, is not thoroughly touched
with this loadstone of love. So their actions and passions are
intermixed, but of all other passions, sorrow hath the greatest share;
[5305]love to many is bitterness itself; rem amaram Plato calls it, a
bitter potion, an agony, a plague.
Eripite hanc pestem perniciemque mihi;
Quae mihi subrepens imos ut torpor in artus,
Expulit ex omni pectore laetitias.
O take away this plague, this mischief from me,
Which, as a numbness over all my body,
Expels my joys, and makes my soul so heavy.
Phaedria had a true touch of this, when he cried out,
[5306]O Thais, utinam esset mihi
Pars aequa amoris tecum, ac paritor fieret ut
Aut hoc tibi doleret itidem, ut mihi dolet.
O Thais, would thou hadst of these my pains a part,
Or as it doth me now, so it would make thee smart.
So had that young man, when he roared again for discontent,
[5307]Jactor, crucior, agitor, stimulor,
Versor in amoris rota miser,
Exanimor, feror, distrahor, deripior,
Ubi sum, ibi non sum; ubi non sum, ibi est animus.
I am vext and toss'd, and rack'd on love's wheel:
Where not, I am; but where am, do not feel.
The moon in [5308]Lucian made her moan to Venus, that she was almost
dead for love, pereo equidem amore, and after a long tale, she broke
off abruptly and wept, [5309]O Venus, thou knowest my poor heart.
Charmides, in [5310]Lucian, was so impatient, that he sobbed and
sighed, and tore his hair, and said he would hang himself. I am undone,
O sister Tryphena, I cannot endure these love pangs; what shall I do?
Vos O dii Averrunci solvite me his curis, O ye gods, free me from these
cares and miseries, out of the anguish of his soul, [5311]Theocles
prays. Shall I say, most part of a lover's life is full of agony,
anxiety, fear, and grief, complaints, sighs, suspicions, and cares,
(heigh-ho, my heart is woe) full of silence and irksome solitariness?
Frequenting shady bowers in discontent,
To the air his fruitless clamours he will vent.
except at such times that he hath lucida intervalla, pleasant gales, or
sudden alterations, as if his mistress smile upon him, give him a good
look, a kiss, or that some comfortable message be brought him, his
service is accepted, &c.
He is then too confident and rapt beyond himself, as if he had heard
the nightingale in the spring before the cuckoo, or as [5312]Calisto
was at Malebaeas' presence, Quis unquam hac mortali vita, tam gloriosum
corpus vidit? humanitatem transcendere videor., &c. who ever saw so
glorious a sight, what man ever enjoyed such delight? More content
cannot be given of the gods, wished, had or hoped of any mortal man.
There is no happiness in the world comparable to his, no content, no
joy to this, no life to love, he is in paradise.
[5313]Quis me uno vivit felicior? aut magis hac est
Optandum vita dicere quis poterit?
Who lives so happy as myself? what bliss
In this our life may be compar'd to this?
He will not change fortune in that case with a prince,
[5314]Donec gratus eram tibi,
Persarum vigui rege beatior.
The Persian kings are not so jovial as he is, O [5315]festus dies
hominis, O happy day; so Chaerea exclaims when he came from Pamphila
his sweetheart well pleased,
Nunc est profecto interfici cum perpeti me possem,
Ne hoc gaudium contaminet vita aliqua aegritudine.
He could find in his heart to be killed instantly, lest if he live
longer, some sorrow or sickness should contaminate his joys. A little
after, he was so merrily set upon the same occasion, that he could not
contain himself.
[5316]O populares, ecquis me vivit hodie fortunatior?
Nemo hercule quisquam; nam in me dii plane potestatem
Suam omnem ostendere;
Is't possible (O my countrymen) for any living to be so happy as
myself? No sure it cannot be, for the gods have shown all their power,
all their goodness in me. Yet by and by when this young gallant was
crossed in his wench, he laments, and cries, and roars downright:
Occidi—I am undone,
Neque virgo est usquam, neque ego, qui e conspectu illam amisi meo,
Ubi quaeram, ubi investigem, quem percunter, quam insistam viam?
The virgin's gone, and I am gone, she's gone, she's gone, and what
shall I do? where shall I seek her, where shall I find her, whom shall
I ask? what way, what course shall I take? what will become of
me—[5317]vitales auras invitus agebat, he was weary of his life, sick,
mad, and desperate, [5318]utinam mihi esset aliquid hic, quo nunc me
praecipitem darem. 'Tis not Chaereas' case this alone, but his, and
his, and every lover's in the like state. If he hear ill news, have bad
success in his suit, she frown upon him, or that his mistress in his
presence respect another more (as [5319]Hedus observes) prefer another
suitor, speak more familiarly to him, or use more kindly than himself,
if by nod, smile, message, she discloseth herself to another, he is
instantly tormented, none so dejected as he is, utterly undone, a
castaway, [5320]In quem fortuna omnia odiorum suorum crudelissima tela
exonerat, a dead man, the scorn of fortune, a monster of fortune, worse
than nought, the loss of a kingdom had been less. [5321]Aretine's
Lucretia made very good proof of this, as she relates it herself. For
when I made some of my suitors believe I would betake myself to a
nunnery, they took on, as if they had lost father and mother, because
they were for ever after to want my company. Omnes labores leves fuere,
all other labour was light: [5322]but this might not be endured. Tui
carendum quod erat—for I cannot be without thy company, mournful
Amyntas, painful Amyntas, careful Amyntas; better a metropolitan city
were sacked, a royal army overcome, an invincible armada sunk, and
twenty thousand kings should perish, than her little finger ache, so
zealous are they, and so tender of her good. They would all turn friars
for my sake, as she follows it, in hope by that means to meet, or see
me again, as my confessors, at stool-ball, or at barley-break: And so
afterwards when an importunate suitor came, [5323]If I had bid my maid
say that I was not at leisure, not within, busy, could not speak with
him, he was instantly astonished, and stood like a pillar of marble;
another went swearing, chafing, cursing, foaming. [5324]Illa sibi vox
ipsa Jovis violentior ira, cum tonat, &c. the voice of a mandrake had
been sweeter music: but he to whom I gave entertainment, was in the
Elysian fields, ravished for joy, quite beyond himself. 'Tis the
general humour of all lovers, she is their stern, pole-star, and guide.
[5325]Deliciumque animi, deliquiumque sui. As a tulipant to the sun
(which our herbalists calls Narcissus) when it shines, is Admirandus
flos ad radios solis se pandens, a glorious flower exposing itself;
[5326]but when the sun sets, or a tempest comes, it hides itself, pines
away, and hath no pleasure left, (which Carolus Gonzaga, duke of
Mantua, in a cause not unlike, sometimes used for an impress) do all
inamorates to their mistress; she is their sun, their Primum mobile, or
anima informans; this [5327]one hath elegantly expressed by a windmill,
still moved by the wind, which otherwise hath no motion of itself. Sic
tua ni spiret gratia, truncus ero. He is wholly animated from her
breath, his soul lives in her body, [5328]sola claves habet interitus
et salutis, she keeps the keys of his life: his fortune ebbs and flows
with her favour, a gracious or bad aspect turns him up or down, Mens
mea lucescit Lucia luce tua. Howsoever his present state be pleasing or
displeasing, 'tis continuate so long as he [5329]loves, he can do
nothing, think of nothing but her; desire hath no rest, she is his
cynosure, Hesperus and vesper, his morning and evening star, his
goddess, his mistress, his life, his soul, his everything; dreaming,
waking, she is always in his mouth; his heart, his eyes, ears, and all
his thoughts are full of her. His Laura, his Victorina, his Columbina,
Flavia, Flaminia, Caelia, Delia, or Isabella, (call her how you will)
she is the sole object of his senses, the substance of his soul,
nidulus animae suae, he magnifies her above measure, totus in illa,
full of her, can breathe nothing but her. I adore Melebaea, saith
lovesick [5330]Calisto, I believe in Melebaea, I honour, admire and
love my Melebaea; His soul was soused, imparadised, imprisoned in his
lady. When [5331]Thais took her leave of Phaedria,—mi Phaedria, et
nunquid aliud vis? Sweet heart (she said) will you command me any
further service? he readily replied, and gave in this charge,
———egone quid velim?
Dies noctesque ames me, me desideres,
Me somnies, me expectes, me cogites,
Me speres, me te oblectes, mecum tota sis,
Meus fac postremo animus, quando ego sum tuus.
Dost ask (my dear) what service I will have?
To love me day and night is all I crave,
To dream on me, to expect, to think on me,
Depend and hope, still covet me to see,
Delight thyself in me, be wholly mine,
For know, my love, that I am wholly thine.
But all this needed not, you will say; if she affect once, she will be
his, settle her love on him, on him alone,
[5332]———illum absens absentem
Auditque videtque———
she can, she must think and dream of nought else but him, continually
of him, as did Orpheus on his Eurydice,
Te dulcis conjux, te solo in littore mecum,
Te veniente die, te discedente canebam.
On thee sweet wife was all my song.
Morn, evening, and all along.
And Dido upon her Aeneas;
———et quae me insomnia terrent,
Multa viri virtus, et plurima currit imago.
And ever and anon she thinks upon the man
That was so fine, so fair, so blithe, so debonair.
Clitophon, in the first book of Achilles, Tatius, complaineth how that
his mistress Leucippe tormented him much more in the night than in the
day. [5333]For all day long he had some object or other to distract his
senses, but in the night all ran upon her. All night long he lay [5334]
awake, and could think of nothing else but her, he could not get her
out of his mind; towards morning, sleep took a little pity on him, he
slumbered awhile, but all his dreams were of her.
[5335]———te nocte sub atra
Alloquor, amplector, falsaque in imagine somni,
Gaudia solicitam palpant evanida mentem.
In the dark night I speak, embrace, and find
That fading joys deceive my careful mind.
The same complaint Euryalus makes to his Lucretia, [5336]day and night
I think of thee, I wish for thee, I talk of thee, call on thee, look
for thee, hope for thee, delight myself in thee, day and night I love
thee.
[5337]Nec mihi vespere
Surgente decedunt amores,
Nec rapidum fugiente solem.
Morning, evening, all is alike with me, I have restless thoughts,
[5338] Te vigilans oculis, animo te nocte requiro. Still I think on
thee. Anima non est ubi animat, sed ubi amat. I live and breathe in
thee, I wish for thee.
[5339]O niveam quae te poterit mihi reddere lucem,
O mihi felicem terque quaterque diem.
O happy day that shall restore thee to my sight. In the meantime he
raves on her; her sweet face, eyes, actions, gestures, hands, feet,
speech, length, breadth, height, depth, and the rest of her dimensions,
are so surveyed, measured, and taken, by that Astrolabe of phantasy,
and that so violently sometimes, with such earnestness and eagerness,
such continuance, so strong an imagination, that at length he thinks he
sees her indeed; he talks with her, he embraceth her, Ixion-like, pro
Junone nubem, a cloud for Juno, as he said. Nihil praeter Leucippen
cerno, Leucippe mihi perpetuo in oculis, et animo versatur, I see and
meditate of nought but Leucippe. Be she present or absent, all is one;
[5340]Et quamvis aberat placidae praesentia formae
Quem dederat praesens forma, manebat amor.
That impression of her beauty is still fixed in his mind,—[5341]haerent
infixi pectora vultus; as he that is bitten with a mad dog thinks all
he sees dogs—dogs in his meat, dogs in his dish, dogs in his drink: his
mistress is in his eyes, ears, heart, in all his senses. Valleriola had
a merchant, his patient, in the same predicament; and [5342]Ulricus
Molitor, out of Austin, hath a story of one, that through vehemency of
his love passion, still thought he saw his mistress present with him,
she talked with him, Et commisceri cum ea vigilans videbatur, still
embracing him.
Now if this passion of love can produce such effects, if it be
pleasantly intended, what bitter torments shall it breed, when it is
with fear and continual sorrow, suspicion, care, agony, as commonly it
is, still accompanied, what an intolerable [5343]pain must it be?
———Non tam grandes
Gargara culmos, quot demerso
Pectore curas longa nexas
Usque catena, vel quae penitus
Crudelis amor vulnera miscet.
Mount Gargarus hath not so many stems
As lover's breast hath grievous wounds,
And linked cares, which love compounds.
When the King of Babylon would have punished a courtier of his, for
loving of a young lady of the royal blood, and far above his fortunes,
[5344] Apollonius in presence by all means persuaded to let him alone;
For to love and not enjoy was a most unspeakable torment, no tyrant
could invent the like punishment; as a gnat at a candle, in a short
space he would consume himself. For love is a perpetual [5345]flux,
angor animi, a warfare, militat omni amans, a grievous wound is love
still, and a lover's heart is Cupid's quiver, a consuming [5346]fire,
[5347]accede ad hunc ignem, &c. an inextinguishable fire.
[5348]———alitur et crescit malum,
Et ardet intus, qualis Aetnaeo vapor
Exundat antro———
As Aetna rageth, so doth love, and more than Aetna or any material
fire.
[5349]———Nam amor saepe Lypareo
Vulcano ardentiorem flammam incendere solet.
Vulcan's flames are but smoke to this. For fire, saith [5350]Xenophon,
burns them alone that stand near it, or touch it; but this fire of love
burneth and scorcheth afar off, and is more hot and vehement than any
material fire: [5351]Ignis in igne furit, 'tis a fire in a fire, the
quintessence of fire. For when Nero burnt Rome, as Calisto urgeth, he
fired houses, consumed men's bodies and goods; but this fire devours
the soul itself, and [5352]one soul is worth a hundred thousand bodies.
No water can quench this wild fire.
[5353]———In pectus coecos absorbuit ignes,
Ignes qui nec aqua perimi potuere, nec imbre
Diminui, neque graminibus, magicisque susurris.
A fire he took into his breast,
Which water could not quench.
Nor herb, nor art, nor magic spells
Could quell, nor any drench.
Except it be tears and sighs, for so they may chance find a little
ease.
[5354]Sic candentia colla, sic patens frons,
Sic me blanda tui Neaera ocelli,
Sic pares minio genae perurunt,
Ut ni me lachrymae rigent perennes,
Totus in tenues eam favillas.
So thy white neck, Neaera, me poor soul
Doth scorch, thy cheeks, thy wanton eyes that roll:
Were it not for my dropping tears that hinder,
I should be quite burnt up forthwith to cinder.
This fire strikes like lightning, which made those old Grecians paint
Cupid, in many of their [5355]temples, with Jupiter's thunderbolts in
his hands; for it wounds, and cannot be perceived how, whence it came,
where it pierced. [5356]Urimur, et coecum, pectora vulnus habent, and
can hardly be discerned at first.
[5357]———Est mollis flamma medullas,
Et tacitum insano vivit sub pectore vulnus.
A gentle wound, an easy fire it was,
And sly at first, and secretly did pass.
But by-and-by it began to rage and burn amain;
[5358]———Pectus insanum vapor.
Amorque torret, intus saevus vorat
Penitus medullas, atque per venas meat
Visceribus ignis mersus, et venis latens,
Ut agilis altas flamma percurrit trabes.
This fiery vapour rageth in the veins,
And scorcheth entrails, as when fire burns
A house, it nimbly runs along the beams,
And at the last the whole it overturns.
Abraham Hoffemannus, lib. 1. amor conjugal, cap. 2. p. 22. relates out
of Plato, how that Empedocles, the philosopher, was present at the
cutting up of one that died for love, [5359]his heart was combust, his
liver smoky, his lungs dried up, insomuch that he verily believed his
soul was either sodden or roasted through the vehemency of love's fire.
Which belike made a modern writer of amorous emblems express love's
fury by a pot hanging over the fire, and Cupid blowing the coals. As
the heat consumes the water, [5360]Sic sua consumit viscera coecus
amor, so doth love dry up his radical moisture. Another compares love
to a melting torch, which stood too near the fire.
[5361]Sic quo quis proprior suae puellae est,
Hoc stultus proprior suae runinae est.
The nearer he unto his mistress is,
The nearer he unto his ruin is.
So that to say truth, as [5362]Castilio describes it, The beginning,
middle, end of love is nought else but sorrow, vexation, agony,
torment, irksomeness, wearisomeness; so that to be squalid, ugly,
miserable, solitary, discontent, dejected, to wish for death, to
complain, rave, and to be peevish, are the certain signs and ordinary
actions of a lovesick person. This continual pain and torture makes
them forget themselves, if they be far gone with it, in doubt, despair
of obtaining, or eagerly bent, to neglect all ordinary business.
[5363]———pendent opera interrupta, minaeque
Murorum ingentes, aequataque machina coelo.
Lovesick Dido left her work undone, so did [5364]Phaedra,
———Palladis telae vacant
Et inter ipsus pensa labuntur manus.
Faustus, in [5365]Mantuan, took no pleasure in anything he did,
Nulla quies mihi dulcis erat, nullus labor aegro
Pectore, sensus iners, et mens torpore sepulta,
Carminis occiderat studium.———
And 'tis the humour of them all, to be careless of their persons and
their estates, as the shepherd in [5366]Theocritus, et haec barba
inculta est, squalidique capilli, their beards flag, and they have no
more care of pranking themselves or of any business, they care not, as
they say, which end goes forward.
[5367]Oblitusque greges, et rura domestica totus
[5368]Uritur, et noctes in luctum expendit amaras,
Forgetting flocks of sheep and country farms,
The silly shepherd always mourns and burns.