[5027]et rosa canos odorati capillos Assyriaque nardo. What strange
thing doth [5028]Sueton. relate in this matter of Caligula's riot? And
Pliny, lib. 12. & 13. Read more in Dioscorides, Ulmus, Arnoldus,
Randoletius de fuco et decoratione; for it is now an art, as it was of
old, (so [5029]Seneca records) officinae, sunt adores coquentium. Women
are bad and men worse, no difference at all between their and our
times; [5030]good manners (as Seneca complains) are extinct with
wantonness, in tricking up themselves men go beyond women, they wear
harlots' colours, and do not walk, but jet and dance, hic mulier, haec
vir, more like players, butterflies, baboons, apes, antics, than men.
So ridiculous, moreover, we are in our attires, and for cost so
excessive, that as Hierome said of old, Uno filio villarum insunt
pretia, uno lino decies sestertium inseritur; 'tis an ordinary thing to
put a thousand oaks and a hundred oxen into a suit of apparel, to wear
a whole manor on his back. What with shoe-ties, hangers, points, caps
and feathers, scarves, bands, curls, &c., in a short space their whole
patrimonies are consumed. Heliogabalus is taxed by Lampridius, and
admired in his age for wearing jewels in his shoes, a common thing in
our times, not for emperors and princes, but almost for serving men and
tailors; all the flowers, stars, constellations, gold and precious
stones do condescend to set out their shoes. To repress the luxury of
those Roman matrons, there was [5031]Lex Valeria and Oppia, and a Cato
to contradict; but no laws will serve to repress the pride and
insolency of our days, the prodigious riot in this kind. Lucullus's
wardrobe is put down by our ordinary citizens; and a cobbler's wife in
Venice, a courtesan in Florence, is no whit inferior to a queen, if our
geographers say true: and why is all this? Why do they glory in their
jewels (as [5032]he saith) or exult and triumph in the beauty of
clothes? why is all this cost? to incite men the sooner to burning
lust. They pretend decency and ornament; but let them take heed, that
while they set out their bodies they do not damn their souls; 'tis
[5033]Bernard's counsel: shine in jewels, stink in conditions; have
purple robes, and a torn conscience. Let them take heed of Isaiah's
prophecy, that their slippers and attires be not taken from them, sweet
balls, bracelets, earrings, veils, wimples, crisping-pins, glasses,
fine linen, hoods, lawns, and sweet savours, they become not bald,
burned, and stink upon a sudden. And let maids beware, as [5034]Cyprian
adviseth, that while they wander too loosely abroad, they lose not
their virginities: and like Egyptian temples, seem fair without, but
prove rotten carcases within. How much better were it for them to
follow that good counsel of Tertullian? [5035]To have their eyes
painted with chastity, the Word of God inserted into their ears,
Christ's yoke tied to the hair, to subject themselves to their
husbands. If they would do so, they should be comely enough, clothe
themselves with the silk of sanctity, damask of devotion, purple of
piety and chastity, and so painted, they shall have God himself to be a
suitor: let whores and queans prank up themselves, [5036]let them paint
their faces with minion and ceruse, they are but fuels of lust, and
signs of a corrupt soul: if ye be good, honest, virtuous, and religious
matrons, let sobriety, modesty and chastity be your honour, and God
himself your love and desire. Mulier recte olet, ubi nihil olet, then a
woman smells best, when she hath no perfume at all; no crown, chain, or
jewel (Guivarra adds) is such an ornament to a virgin, or virtuous
woman, quam virgini pudor, as chastity is: more credit in a wise man's
eye and judgment they get by their plainness, and seem fairer than they
that are set out with baubles, as a butcher's meat is with pricks,
puffed up, and adorned like so many jays with variety of colours. It is
reported of Cornelia, that virtuous Roman lady, great Scipio's
daughter, Titus Sempronius' wife, and the mother of the Gracchi, that
being by chance in company with a companion, a strange gentlewoman
(some light housewife belike, that was dressed like a May lady, and, as
most of our gentlewomen are, was [5037]more solicitous of her head-tire
than of her health, that spent her time between a comb and a glass, and
had rather be fair than honest (as Cato said), and have the
commonwealth turned topsy-turvy than her tires marred; and she did
nought but brag of her fine robes and jewels, and provoked the Roman
matron to show hers: Cornelia kept her in talk till her children came
from school, and these, said she, are my jewels, and so deluded and put
off a proud, vain, fantastical, housewife. How much better were it for
our matrons to do as she did, to go civilly and decently,
[5038]Honestae mulieris instar quae utitur auro pro eo quod est, ad ea
tantum quibus opus est, to use gold as it is gold, and for that use it
serves, and when they need it, than to consume it in riot, beggar their
husbands, prostitute themselves, inveigle others, and peradventure damn
their own souls? How much more would it be for their honour and credit?
Thus doing, as Hierom said of Blesilla, [5039]Furius did not so triumph
over the Gauls, Papyrius of the Samnites, Scipio of Numantia, as she
did by her temperance; pulla semper veste, &c., they should insult and
domineer over lust, folly, vainglory, all such inordinate, furious and
unruly passions.
But I am over tedious, I confess, and whilst I stand gaping after fine
clothes, there is another great allurement, (in the world's eye at
least) which had like to have stolen out of sight, and that is money,
veniunt a dote sagittae, money makes the match; [5040]Μονὸν ἄργυρον
βλέπουσιν: 'tis like sauce to their meat, cum carne condimentum, a good
dowry with a wife. Many men if they do hear but of a great portion, a
rich heir, are more mad than if they had all the beauteous ornaments,
and those good parts art and nature can afford, they [5041]care not for
honesty, bringing up, birth, beauty, person, but for money.
[5042]Canes et equos (o Cyrne) quaerimus
Nobiles, et a bona progenie;
Malam vero uxorem, malique patris filiam
Ducere non curat vir bonus,
Modo ei magnam dotem afferat,
Our dogs and horses still from the best breed
We carefully seek, and well may they speed:
But for our wives, so they prove wealthy,
Fair or foul, we care not what they be.
If she be rich, then she is fair, fine, absolute and perfect, then they
burn like fire, they love her dearly, like pig and pie, and are ready
to hang themselves if they may not have her. Nothing so familiar in
these days, as for a young man to marry an old wife, as they say, for a
piece of gold; asinum auro onustum; and though she be an old crone, and
have never a tooth in her head, neither good conditions, nor a good
face, a natural fool, but only rich, she shall have twenty young
gallants to be suitors in an instant. As she said in Suetonius, non me,
sed mea ambiunt, 'tis not for her sake, but for her lands or money; and
an excellent match it were (as he added) if she were away. So on the
other side, many a young lovely maid will cast away herself upon an
old, doting, decrepit dizzard,
[5043]Bis puer effoeto quamvis balbutiat ore,
Prima legit rarae tam culta roseta puellae,
that is rheumatic and gouty, hath some twenty diseases, perhaps but one
eye, one leg, never a nose, no hair on his head, wit in his brains, nor
honesty, if he have land or [5044]money, she will have him before all
other suitors, [5045]Dummodo sit dives barbarus ille placet. If he be
rich, he is the man, a fine man, and a proper man, she will go to
Jacaktres or Tidore with him; Galesimus de monte aureo. Sir Giles
Goosecap, Sir Amorous La-Fool, shall have her. And as Philemasium in
[5046] Aristaenetus told Emmusus, absque argento omnia vana, hang him
that hath no money, 'tis to no purpose to talk of marriage without
means, [5047] trouble me not with such motions; let others do as they
will, I'll be sure to have one shall maintain me fine and brave. Most
are of her mind, [5048] De moribus ultima fiet questio, for his
conditions, she shall inquire after them another time, or when all is
done, the match made, and everybody gone home. [5049]Lucian's Lycia was
a proper young maid, and had many fine gentlemen to her suitors;
Ethecles, a senator's son, Melissus, a merchant, &c.; but she forsook
them all for one Passius, a base, hirsute, bald-pated knave; but why
was it? His father lately died and left him sole heir of his goods and
lands. This is not amongst your dust-worms alone, poor snakes that will
prostitute their souls for money, but with this bait you may catch our
most potent, puissant, and illustrious princes. That proud upstart
domineering Bishop of Ely, in the time of Richard the First, viceroy in
his absence, as [5050]Nubergensis relates it, to fortify himself, and
maintain his greatness, propinquarum suarum connubiis, plurimos sibi
potentes et nobiles devincire curavit, married his poor kinswomen
(which came forth of Normandy by droves) to the chiefest nobles of the
land, and they were glad to accept of such matches, fair or foul, for
themselves, their sons, nephews, &c. Et quis tam praeclaram aflinitatem
sub spe magnae promotionis non optaret? Who would not have done as much
for money and preferment? as mine author [5051]adds. Vortiger, King of
Britain, married Rowena the daughter of Hengist the Saxon prince, his
mortal enemy; but wherefore? she had Kent for her dowry. Iagello the
great Duke of Lithuania, 1386, was mightily enamoured on Hedenga,
insomuch that he turned Christian from a Pagan, and was baptised
himself by the name of Uladislaus, and all his subjects for her sake:
but why was it? she was daughter and heir of Poland, and his desire was
to have both kingdoms incorporated into one. Charles the Great was an
earnest suitor to Irene the Empress, but, saith [5052]Zonarus, ob
regnum, to annex the empire of the East to that of the West. Yet what
is the event of all such matches, that are so made for money, goods, by
deceit, or for burning lust, quos foeda libido conjunxit, what follows?
they are almost mad at first, but 'tis a mere flash; as chaff and straw
soon fired, burn vehemently for a while, yet out in a moment; so are
all such matches made by those allurements of burning lust; where there
is no respect of honesty, parentage, virtue, religion, education, and
the like, they are extinguished in an instant, and instead of love
comes hate; for joy, repentance and desperation itself. Franciscus
Barbarus in his first book de re uxoria, c. 5, hath a story of one
Philip of Padua that fell in love with a common whore, and was now
ready to run mad for her; his father having no more sons let him enjoy
her; [5053]but after a few days, the young man began to loath, could
not so much as endure the sight of her, and from one madness fell into
another. Such event commonly have all these lovers; and he that so
marries, or for such respects, let them look for no better success than
Menelaus had with Helen, Vulcan with Venus, Theseus with Phaedra, Minos
with Pasiphae, and Claudius with Messalina; shame, sorrow, misery,
melancholy, discontent.
SUBSECT. IV.—_Importunity and Opportunity of Time, Place, Conference,
Discourse, Singing, Dancing, Music, Amorous Tales, Objects, Kissing,
Familiarity, Tokens, Presents, Bribes, Promises, Protestations, Tears,
&c._
All these allurements hitherto are afar off, and at a distance; I will
come nearer to those other degrees of love, which are conference,
kissing, dalliance, discourse, singing, dancing, amorous tales,
objects, presents, &c., which as so many sirens steal away the hearts
of men and women. For, as Tacitus observes, l. 2, [5054]It is no
sufficient trial of a maid's affection by her eyes alone, but you must
say something that shall be more available, and use such other forcible
engines; therefore take her by the hand, wring her fingers hard, and
sigh withal; if she accept this in good part, and seem not to be much
averse, then call her mistress, take her about the neck and kiss her,
&c. But this cannot be done except they first get opportunity of
living, or coming together, ingress, egress, and regress; letters and
commendations may do much, outward gestures and actions: but when they
come to live near one another, in the same street, village, or together
in a house, love is kindled on a sudden. Many a serving-man by reason
of this opportunity and importunity inveigles his master's daughter,
many a gallant loves a dowdy, many a gentleman runs upon his wife's
maids; many ladies dote upon their men, as the queen in Ariosto did
upon the dwarf, many matches are so made in haste, and they are
compelled as it were by [5055]necessity so to love, which had they been
free, come in company of others, seen that variety which many places
afford, or compared them to a third, would never have looked one upon
another. Or had not that opportunity of discourse and familiarity been
offered, they would have loathed and contemned those whom, for want of
better choice and other objects, they are fatally driven on, and by
reason of their hot blood, idle life, full diet, &c., are forced to
dote upon them that come next. And many times those which at the first
sight cannot fancy or affect each other, but are harsh and ready to
disagree, offended with each other's carriage, like Benedict and
Beatrice in the [5056]comedy, and in whom they find many faults, by
this living together in a house, conference, kissing, colling, and such
like allurements, begin at last to dote insensibly one upon another.
It was the greatest motive that Potiphar's wife had to dote upon
Joseph, and [5057]Clitiphon upon Leucippe his uncle's daughter, because
the plague being at Bizance, it was his fortune for a time to sojourn
with her, to sit next her at the table, as he tells the tale himself in
Tatius, lib. 2. (which, though it be but a fiction, is grounded upon
good observation, and doth well express the passions of lovers), he had
opportunity to take her by the hand, and after a while to kiss, and
handle her paps, &c., [5058] which made him almost mad. Ismenias the
orator makes the like confession in Eustathius, lib. 1, when he came
first to Sosthene's house, and sat at table with Cratistes his friend,
Ismene, Sosthene's daughter, waiting on them with her breasts open,
arms half bare, [5059]Nuda pedem, discincta sinum, spoliata lacertos;
after the Greek fashion in those times,—[5060] nudos media plus parte
lacertos, as Daphne was when she fled from Phoebus (which moved him
much), was ever ready to give attendance on him, to fill him drink, her
eyes were never off him, rogabundi oculi, those speaking eyes, courting
eyes, enchanting eyes; but she was still smiling on him, and when they
were risen, that she had got a little opportunity, [5061]she came and
drank to him, and withal trod upon his toes, and would come and go, and
when she could not speak for the company, she would wring his hand, and
blush when she met him: and by this means first she overcame him
(bibens amorem hauriebam simul), she would kiss the cup and drink to
him, and smile, and drink where he drank on that side of the cup, by
which mutual compressions, kissings, wringing of hands, treading of
feet, &c. Ipsam mihi videbar sorbillare virginem, I sipped and sipped
so long, till at length I was drunk in love upon a sudden.
Philocharinus, in [5062] Aristaenetus, met a fair maid by chance, a
mere stranger to him, he looked back at her, she looked back at him
again, and smiled withal.
[5063]Ille dies lethi primus, primusque malorum
Causa fuit.———
It was the sole cause of his farther acquaintance, and love that undid
him. [5064]O nullis tutum credere blanditiis.
This opportunity of time and place, with their circumstances, are so
forcible motives, that it is impossible almost for two young folks
equal in years to live together, and not be in love, especially in
great houses, princes' courts, where they are idle in summo gradu, fare
well, live at ease, and cannot tell otherwise how to spend their time.
[5065]Illic Hippolitum pone, Priapus erit. Achilles was sent by his
mother Thetis to the island of Scyros in the Aegean sea (where
Lycomedes then reigned) in his nonage to be brought up; to avoid that
hard destiny of the oracle (he should be slain at the siege of Troy):
and for that cause was nurtured in Genesco, amongst the king's children
in a woman's habit; but see the event: he compressed Deidamia, the
king's fair daughter, and had a fine son, called Pyrrhus by her. Peter
Abelard the philosopher, as he tells the tale himself, being set by
Fulbertus her uncle to teach Heloise his lovely niece, and to that
purpose sojourned in his house, and had committed agnam tenellam
famelico lupo, I use his own words, he soon got her good will, plura
erant oscula quam sententiae and he read more of love than any other
lecture; such pretty feats can opportunity plea; primum domo conjuncti,
inde animis, &c. But when as I say, nox, vinum, et adolescentia, youth,
wine, and night, shall concur, nox amoris et quietis conscia, 'tis a
wonder they be not all plunged over head and ears in love; for youth is
benigna in amorem, et prona materies, a very combustible matter,
naphtha itself, the fuel of love's fire, and most apt to kindle it. If
there be seven servants in an ordinary house, you shall have three
couple in some good liking at least, and amongst idle persons how
should it be otherwise? Living at [5066]Rome, saith Aretine's Lucretia,
in the flower of my fortunes, rich, fair, young, and so well brought
up, my conversation, age, beauty, fortune, made all the world admire
and love me. Night alone, that one occasion, is enough to set all on
fire, and they are so cunning in great houses, that they make their
best advantage of it: Many a gentlewoman, that is guilty to herself of
her imperfections, paintings, impostures, will not willingly be seen by
day, but as [5067]Castilio noteth, in the night, Diem ut glis odit,
taedarum lucem super omnia mavult, she hateth the day like a dormouse,
and above all things loves torches and candlelight, and if she must
come abroad in the day, she covets, as [5068]in a mercer's shop, a very
obfuscate and obscure sight. And good reason she hath for it: Nocte
latent mendae, and many an amorous gull is fetched over by that means.
Gomesius lib. 3. de sale gen. c. 22. gives instance in a Florentine
gentleman, that was so deceived with a wife, she was so radiantly set
out with rings and jewels, lawns, scarves, laces, gold, spangles, and
gaudy devices, that the young man took her to be a goddess (for he
never saw her but by torchlight); but after the wedding solemnities,
when as he viewed her the next morning without her tires, and in a
clear day, she was so deformed, a lean, yellow, shrivelled, &c., such a
beastly creature in his eyes, that he could not endure to look upon
her. Such matches are frequently made in Italy, where they have no
other opportunity to woo but when they go to church, or, as [5069]in
Turkey, see them at a distance, they must interchange few or no words,
till such time they come to be married, and then as Sardus lib. 1. cap.
3. de morb. gent. and [5070]Bohemus relate of those old Lacedaemonians,
the bride is brought into the chamber, with her hair girt about her,
the bridegroom comes in and unties the knot, and must not see her at
all by daylight, till such time as he is made a father by her. In those
hotter countries these are ordinary practices at this day; but in our
northern parts, amongst Germans, Danes, French, and Britons, the
continent of Scandia and the rest, we assume more liberty in such
cases; we allow them, as Bohemus saith, to kiss coming and going, et
modo absit lascivia, in cauponem ducere, to talk merrily, sport, play,
sing, and dance so that it be modestly done, go to the alehouse and
tavern together. And 'tis not amiss, though [5071] Chrysostom, Cyprian,
Hierome, and some other of the fathers speak bitterly against it: but
that is the abuse which is commonly seen at some drunken matches,
dissolute meetings, or great unruly feasts. [5072]A young,
pickedevanted, trim-bearded fellow, saith Hierome, will come with a
company of compliments, and hold you up by the arm as you go, and
wringing your fingers, will so be enticed, or entice: one drinks to
you, another embraceth, a third kisseth, and all this while the fiddler
plays or sings a lascivious song; a fourth singles you out to dance,
[5073]one speaks by beck and signs, and that which he dares not say,
signifies by passions; amongst so many and so great provocations of
pleasure, lust conquers the most hard and crabbed minds, and scarce can
a man live honest amongst feastings, and sports, or at such great
meetings. For as he goes on, [5074]she walks along and with the
ruffling of her clothes, makes men look at her, her shoes creak, her
paps tied up, her waist pulled in to make her look small, she is
straight girded, her hairs hang loose about her ears, her upper garment
sometimes falls, and sometimes tarries to show her naked shoulders, and
as if she would not be seen, she covers that in all haste, which
voluntarily she showed. And not at feasts, plays, pageants, and such
assemblies, [5075]but as Chrysostom objects, these tricks are put in
practice at service time in churches, and at the communion itself. If
such dumb shows, signs, and more obscure significations of love can so
move, what shall they do that have full liberty to sing, dance, kiss,
coll, to use all manner of discourse and dalliance! What shall he do
that is beleaguered of all sides?
[5076]Quem tot, tam roseae petunt puellae,
Quem cultae cupiunt nurus, amorque
Omnis undique et undecunque et usque,
Omnis ambit Amor, Venusque Hymenque.
After whom so many rosy maids inquire,
Whom dainty dames and loving wights desire,
In every place, still, and at all times sue,
Whom gods and gentle goddesses do woo.
How shall he contain? The very tone of some of their voices, a pretty
pleasing speech, an affected tone they use, is able of itself to
captivate a young man; but when a good wit shall concur, art and
eloquence, fascinating speech, pleasant discourse, sweet gestures, the
Sirens themselves cannot so enchant. [5077]P. Jovius commends his
Italian countrywomen, to have an excellent faculty in this kind, above
all other nations, and amongst them the Florentine ladies: some prefer
Roman and Venetian courtesans, they have such pleasing tongues, and
such [5078] elegancy of speech, that they are able to overcome a saint,
Pro facie multis vox sua lena fuit. Tanta gratia vocis famam
conciliabat, saith Petronius [5079]in his fragment of pure impurities,
I mean his Satyricon, tam dulcis sonus permulcebat aera, ut putares
inter auras cantare Syrenum concordiam; she sang so sweetly that she
charmed the air, and thou wouldst have thought thou hadst heard a
concert of Sirens. O good God, when Lais speaks, how sweet it is!
Philocolus exclaims in Aristenaetus, to hear a fair young gentlewoman
play upon the virginals, lute, viol, and sing to it, which as Gellius
observes, lib. 1. cap. 11. are lascivientium delicicae, the chief
delight of lovers, must needs be a great enticement. Parthenis was so
taken. [5080]Mi vox ista avida haurit ab aure animam: O sister
Harpedona (she laments) I am undone, [5081]how sweetly he sings, I'll
speak a bold word, he is the properest man that ever I saw in my life:
O how sweetly he sings, I die for his sake, O that he would love me
again! If thou didst but hear her sing, saith [5082]Lucian, thou
wouldst forget father and mother, forsake all thy friends, and follow
her. Helena is highly commended by [5083]Theocritus the poet for her
sweet voice and music; none could play so well as she, and Daphnis in
the same Edyllion,
Quam tibi os dulce est, et vox amabilis o Daphni,
Jucundius est audire te canentem, quam mel lingere!
How sweet a face hath Daphne, how lovely a voice!
Honey itself is not so pleasant in my choice.
A sweet voice and music are powerful enticers. Those Samian singing
wenches, Aristonica, Onanthe and Agathocleia, regiis diadematibus
insultarunt, insulted over kings themselves, as [5084]Plutarch
contends. Centum luminibus cinctum caput Argus habebat, Argus had a
hundred eyes, all so charmed by one silly pipe, that he lost his head.
Clitiphon complains in [5085]Tatius of Leucippe's sweet tunes, he heard
her play by chance upon the lute, and sing a pretty song to it in
commendations of a rose, out of old Anacreon belike;
Rosa honor decusque florum,
Rosa flos odorque divum,
Hominum rosa est voluptas,
Decus illa Gratiarum,
Florente amoris hora,
Rosa suavium Diones, &c.
Rose the fairest of all flowers.
Rose delight of higher powers,
Rose the joy of mortal men,
Rose the pleasure of fine women,
Rose the Graces' ornament,
Rose Dione's sweet content.
To this effect the lovely virgin with a melodious air upon her golden
wired harp or lute, I know not well whether, played and sang, and that
transported him beyond himself, and that ravished his heart. It was
Jason's discourse as much as his beauty, or any other of his good
parts, which delighted Medea so much.
[5086]———Delectabatur enim
Animus simul forma dulcibusque verbis.
It was Cleopatra's sweet voice and pleasant speech which inveigled
Antony, above the rest of her enticements. Verba ligant hominem, ut
taurorum cornua funes, as bulls' horns are bound with ropes, so are
men's hearts with pleasant words. Her words burn as fire, Eccles. ix.
10. Roxalana bewitched Suleiman the Magnificent, and Shore's wife by
this engine overcame Edward the Fourth, [5087]Omnibus una omnes
surripuit Veneres. The wife of Bath in Chaucer confesseth all this out
of her experience.
Some folk desire us for riches.
Some for shape, some for fairness,
Some for that she can sing or dance.
Some for gentleness, or for dalliance.