The two armies were now face to face, and the Red Knight gathered his
staff about him for a few final words of exhortation.
"Remember, men," he said. "Victory is assured. On our side are all the
honest men. Against us are all the thieves. We need only win forty of
them over to our side and the battle is ours."
Alice thought that was rather strange tactics, but she said nothing. She
gazed with admiration at the Red Knight. He was resplendent in a new
suit of armour fashioned out of lithographed photographs of Abraham
Lincoln. From his helmet fluttered a copy of the Declaration of the
Rights of Man. In his right hand he held a copy of Magna Charta, and
with the left he waved aloft one of the Harvester's fattest checkbooks.
A mighty cheer broke from the multitude, but the Red Knight commanded
silence.
"As you go into battle," he went on, "ask yourself this: Can the
practitioners of theft and burglary triumph over the forces of
righteousness?"
"Never!" shouted the Publisher, like the hero in one of his own
magazines.
"Don't be an ass, Frank," said the Red Knight. "Of course they always
do, except when I am here to lead the forces of righteousness. That
makes all the difference in the world."
Alice thought she had never seen him in such a logical frame of mind.
The men about him felt exactly the same way.
The Red Knight went on: "The principal thing when you take up arms is to
know what you are fighting for. Do all of you know what you are after?"
"We do!" they cried in chorus. Conviction was stamped on every face.
"That is very good," said the Red Knight. "So do I. Now we come to our
plan of attack. It is very simple. I shall lead flanking parties against
the enemy's right and left wing and head a furious charge against the
centre. A small detachment of picked men under my personal command will
go out in advance and feel out the enemy. As for the rear guard and
train that shall be my own concern. Between operations I shall write
full account of the battle for several newspaper syndicates with which I
have signed contracts. Is there anything I have overlooked?"
It was the Forester who spoke up. "There's the band music for the
triumphal return from Chicago."
The Red Knight smiled indulgently. "That is already composed and
orchestrated. I may revise it a bit while I am dictating terms to the
enemy. So that is all. You may go, gentlemen."
"But how about me?" said Alice, of whose presence the Red Knight had
been quite oblivious. Her feelings were hurt, and she was on the point
of crying.
"Why, sure enough, there you are, Alice," said the Red Knight. "I think
you had better go to the rear till it's all over. The fight may last
till ten o'clock, and that's no hour for one of your age to be out of
bed."
"I will never leave you!" cried Alice. "Under no circumstances. There's
no one else like you in the whole world."
The Red Knight smiled and stroked her hair. "Very well, then. I'll tell
you what we'll do. You don't ride a horse, do you?"
"I never learned," she said.
"It doesn't matter," said the Red Knight. "No horse could keep up with
me, anyhow. We'll get you a taxicab and you can keep right by my side."
But Alice now had her qualms. "Is it very dangerous?" she asked.
"Dangerous where I am?" laughed the Red Knight. "You'll be just as safe
as in your own little bed. Nobody ever stands up against me, Alice. At
the first sight of me they turn and run. That's what makes the present
obstinate behavior of the enemy so peculiarly infamous."