He who could make a logical sorites out of feminine intuitions could make
a philosophical system out of nautical almanacs. And yet, probably,
Could we only determine her orbit, a woman's intuitions are as exact as
the paths of the planets. Unfortunately,
Such are the perturbations to which a woman's orbit is exposed that no
masculine astronomy can construct its ephemeris. Alack,
How many anxious star-gazers are there among men! The orbit of the
ordinary male man it is not as difficult for a woman to compute, inasmuch
as
The ordinary male man revolves unusually about two foci: his Appetites;
and his Ambitions.--Which is the major and which the minor . . . .
However,
You may trust women to know when he is in peri-and when in aphelion.
Many a spouse has no difficulty in explaining away to her lord actions
about the character of which even his initiate friends have no shadow of
doubt. For
A woman's perception is preternatural. But no; it is natural enough,
since
From the days of the first woman to the days of the New one, love, its
wiles and its whims, has been the serious business of woman.
* * *
Women know much better than men that stolen bread is sweetest. In
consequence,
Men steal almost everything they get from women.--At least they think
they do. Which is the same thing.
* * *
If the sexes were to change places, more marriage licenses would be taken
out.
* * *
'Frailty,' says man, 'thy name is woman,'--and then he takes advantage
of it.
* * *
At arm's length it is difficult to offer a helping hand. Yet it is
hazardous to reduce that distance.
* * *
Neglect is the unpardonable sin in a woman's eyes. Woe to the man who is
guilty of it.
* * *
If a woman possessed only a man's tact, what fallings-out there would be!
* * *
Man's summum bonum is to combine a comfortable home with congenial club.
Woman's summum bonum is the almost equally incompatible combination of a
well-regulated family and the height of fashionable gaiety.
Man's infinum malum is domestic distraction.
Woman's infinum malum is social exile.
* * *
Between man and man, to lay another under pecuniary obligation is to
jeopardize friendship. Between man and woman, a like cause brings about
an opposite result.
* * *
The man with something of the feminine about him often knows better than
his more masculine rivals how to work upon feminine susceptibilities.
* * *
Most women know how much to leave to a man's imagination.--But then,
man has not much imagination. Besides,
Man's imagination is always highly complimentary to woman.
* * *
Affinity covereth a multitude of sins.
* * *