Not till a woman is loved are her finger-tips objects of devoutest
worship. On the other hand,
It cannot be said that in loving one man a woman believes in all men.
Which little distinction is proof, perhaps, that
Love blinds the eyes of men, but opens the eyes of women. In other
words,
Passion obfuscates man's prevision; it does not obfuscate a woman's.
Man gives the rein to passion or ere he knows whither it leads;
A woman gives the rein to passion only after she has found out whither it
leads. But when the goal is known, perhaps
Women are more implacable votaries of the Implacable Goddess than are
men. That is the say,
A woman keeps her head till she can give her heart, then she gives it
utterly;
A man (perhaps because he has no heart) soon enough loses his head. So,
Before the gift, a woman's qualms exasperate the man;
After the gift, the man's indifference exasperates the woman;
* * *
It is folly to think that love and friendship exhaust the varieties of
human relationships:--
The relationships between earthly souls are as complex and multiform as
those between heavenly bodies.
In one thing does friendship excel love: it is always reciprocal; one
friend presupposes another. Not so a lover.
Friendship is largely a masculine sentiment;--except among schoolgirls.
The friendship that exists between a man and a woman should be called by
another name. It cannot be wholly Platonic (3); it need not be wholly
Dantesque. Yet women generally strive to make it the one; and men often
try to make it the other. And yet again,
How many women there be, would, if they could, transmute love into
friendship! That is to say,
Women regard a man's friendship as a delicate flattery to themselves; yet
they instinctively know, though they try hard to forget, that a man's
friendship for a woman is extremely likely to transcend the bounds of
friendship.
If only friendship would keep within bounds! How many women deceive
themselves into thinking that were devoutly to be wished! Yet probably,
as a matter of fact,
The very woman who avers she regrets that your friendship is not mere
Platonic, would resent the Platonism did it exist. Possibly not every
woman will understand this. Assuredly no woman will admit it. And yet,
It is impossible to conjecture in what an exchange of confidences may
terminate: it may be a kiss, or it may be a quarrel. But
Confidences are evoked rather by friendship than by love:
A woman will tell a man friend what she will not tell a lover.
Few lovers will understand this, fewer still will believe it. Yet it is
true, and the explication of its truth would be long and complex. This
much may be said:
Love idealizes; friendship does not. At the same time,
Love probes the innermost recesses of the womanly nature; and, until the
woman is wholly won,
The woman resents the inspection of love. She knows that,
To stimulate love, the woman must conceal, not reveal;
To stimulate love, the woman must conceal, not reveal. Furthermore,
Never was there a man who could be at once friend and lover.