[76] orig. reads _ever_.
[77] The celebrated poet. The bishop was of course Bishop Nykke, Nikke,
or Nyx, as the name is variously spelled. He held the see from 1501 to
1536.
+ _Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter._ xli.
+ A yoman of the kynges garde, dwellynge in a vyllage besyde London, had
a very fayre yonge wife. To whome a carter of the towne, _a mery_
fellowe, resorted and laye with her dyuers tymes, whan her husbande was
on garde; and thys was so openly knowen that all the towne spake therof.
_A certaine yonge_ man of the towne well acquoyntyd with thys yeman
_told him_ that suche a carter hadde layne by his wyfe. To whome _this
yeman of the garde_ sware by Goddes body, if he mette with hym it
_should go harde but he wolde bete him well._ _Hey_, quod the yonge man,
if ye go streyght euen nowe the _right way_, ye _shall_ ouertake him
dryuyng a carte laden with haye towarde London; wherfore the yeman of
the garde incontynent rode after this carter, and within shorte space
overtoke him and knewe him well ynoughe, and incontynent called the
carter to him and sayd thus: Syrra, I vnderstande that thou doste lye
euery nyght with my wyfe, whan I am from home. Thys carter beynge no
thynge afrayde of hym answered, ye, marry, what than? What than, quod
the yeman of garde! By Goddys harte! hadst thou nat tolde me truth, I
wolde haue broke thy hede. And so the yeman of garde retourned, and no
hurte done, no stroke stryken nor proferyed.
By this ye may se, that the greatyst crakers somtyme, whan it commeth to
the profe, be moste cowardes.
+ _Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen._ xlii.
+ A fole there was, that dwelled with a gentylman in the countrey,
whiche was called a great tyraunte and an extorcyoner. But this fole
loued his mayster meruaylously, because he cherysshed hym so well. It
happened * *
_3 lines wanting._
to heuen; for I had leuer go to hell. Than the other asked hym why he
had leuer go to hell. By my trouthe, quod the fole: for I wyll go with
my master; and I am sure my master shall go to hell. For euery man seyth
he shall go to the deuyll in hell; and therfore I wyll go thyder with
hym.
+ _Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke
sweetly._ xliii.
+ There was a certayn plowmans son of the contrey of the age of xvi
yeres, that neuer coming moche amonge company but alway went to plough
and husbandry. On a tyme this yonge lad went to a weddyng with his
fader, where he se one lute[78] vpon a lute; and whan he came home at
nyght his moder asked hym, what sporte he had at weddynge. This lad
answeryd and sayd: by my trouth, moder, quod he, there was one that
brought a gose in his armes and tykled her so vpon the neck, that she
crekyd the sweetlyest that I hard gose creke in my lyfe.
+ _Of the maydes answere that was with chylde._ xliv.
+ At a merchauntes house in London there was a mayde whiche was great
with chylde, to whom the maystres of the house cam, and comaunded[79]
her to tell her who was the fader of the chylde. To whom the mayde
answered: forsooth, nobody. Why, quod the maystres, it is not possyble
but som man is the fader thereof? To whom the mayd answered: why,
maystres, why may I not haue a chyld without a man as well as hennys lay
eggys withhout a cocke?
By this ye may se it is harde to fynde a woman wythout an excuse.