[71] tricks and pranks.
[72] orig. reads _synne_.
[73] orig. reads _he_.
[74] Intently engaged in the celebration of mass. "St. Lawrence Jewry,"
says Mr. Cunningham (_Handbook of Lond._ 471,) "stood in King Street,
Cheapside. It was destroyed in the Fire of 1666, and was rebuilt by Sir
C. Wren."
[75] Hooping-cough.
+ _Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii
fesauntes._ xl.
+ It fortuned ther was a great varyance bitwen the bysshop of Norwych
and one master Shelton[77] a poyet lauryat, in so much that the bysshop
commaundyd hym that he shuld not come in his gatys. Thys mayster Skelton
dyd absent hym selfe for a long seson; but at the laste he thought to do
hys dewty to hym, and studyed weys how he myght obtayne the bysshopys
fauour, and determynyd hem self that he wold come to hym wyth some
present and humble hym self to the byshop; and [he] gat a cople of
fesantes and cam to the bysshuppys place, and requyryd the porter he
might come in to speke wyth my lord. This porter, knowyng his lordys
pleasure, wold not suffer him to come in at the gatys: wherfor thys
mayster Skelton went on the baksyde to seke some other way to come into
the place. But the place was motyd, [so] that he cowlde se no way to
come ouer except in one place, where there lay a long tree ouer the
motte in maner of a brydge that was fallyn down wyth wynd: wherfore thys
mayster Skelton went a long vpon the tree to come ouer; and whan he was
almost ouer hys fote slypyd for lak of sure fotyng, and [he] fel in to
the mote vp to the myddyll. But at the last he recoueryd hym self, and
as wel as he coud dryed hymself ageyne, and sodenly cam to the byshop,
beyng in hys hall than lately rysen from dyner, whyche, whan he saw
Skelton commyng sodenly, sayd to hym: why, thow catyfe, I warnyd the
thow shuldys neuer come in at my gatys and chargyd my porter to kepe the
out. Forsoth, my lorde, quod Skelton, though ye gaue suche charge and
though your gatys be neuer so suerly kept: yet yt ys no more possible to
kepe me out of your dorys than to kepe out crowes or pyes: for I cam not
in at your gatys, but I cam ouer the mote, [so] that I haue ben almost
drownyd for my labour; and shewyd his clothys how euyll he was arayed,
whych causyd many that stode therby to laughe apace. Than quod Skelton:
yf it lyke your lordeshyp, I haue brought you a dyshe to your super, a
cople of Fesantes. Nay, quod the byshop, I defy the and thy Fesantys
also, and, wrech as thou art, pyke the out of my howse, for I wyll none
of thy gyft how * * * * Skelton, than consyderynge that the bysshoppe
called hym fole so ofte, sayd to one of hys famylyers therby that,
thoughe it were euyll to be christened a fole, yet it was moche worse to
be confyrmed a fole of suche a bysshoppe: for the name of confyrmacyon
must nedes abyde. Therfore he ymagened howe he myghte auoyde that
confyrmacyon, and mused a whyle; and at the laste sayde to the bysshope
thus: if your lordeshype knewe the names of these fesantes ye wold _be_
contente to take them. Why, caytese, quod the bisshoppe hastly and
angrey, _what_ be theyr names? Y wys, my lorde, quod Skelton, this
fesante is called Alpha, which is in primys--the fyrst; and this is
called O, that is novissimus, the last; and for the more playne
vnderstandynge of my mynde, if it plese your lordeshype to take them, I
promyse you this alpha is the fyrste that euer I gaue you, and this O is
the laste that euer I wyll gyue you whyle I lyue. At which answere all
that were by made great laughter, and they all _desired the Bishoppe_ to
be good lorde vnto him for his merye conceytes, at which _earnest
entrety, as it_ wente, the bysshope was contente to take hym vnto his
fauer agayne.
By thys tale ye may se, that mery conceytes dothe _a man more_ good than
to frete hymselfe with _anger_ and melancholy.