It seems to me you might have mistaken my meaning in my half-criticism
of the contents of your notebook. I don't wish you should think I
find any fault with them _per se_. Indeed you cannot set down too
much. Only I think you have been collecting only shadow-and-fire
material. You have no sky-blues,--no rose and violet and purple and
gold-yellow,--no cadmium, no iridescences. You have that which will give
them all value--artistic value. Even if you have only one light for ten
darknesses, it will be enough to illume them all.
And now for Ego and Egotisms. In my home the women are all making
baby-clothes,--funny little Japanese baby-clothes. All the tender
Buddhist divinities, who love little children, have been invoked except
one,--he who cares for them only when they are dead, and plays little
ghostly games with them in the shadowy world. Letters of congratulation
come from all directions, and queer, pretty presents; for the
announcement of pregnancy is a subject of great gladness in Japan. And
one theme of rejoicing is that the child will look more like a Japanese
than the children of other foreigners, because the father is dark.
Behind all this, of course, there is a universe of new sensations,--new
ideas,--revelations of things in Buddhist faith and in the religion of
the more ancient gods, which are very beautiful and touching. About
the world an atmosphere of delicious, sacred naïveté,--difficult to
describe, because resembling nothing in the Western world.--Some doubts
and fears for me, of course; but they are passing away gradually. I have
only some anxiety about _her_: still she is so strong that I trust the
gods will be kind to us....
This summer I shall not be able to travel far. First, of course, I can't
leave my little woman too long alone; second, I have proofs to correct;
third, I am economizing. We have now nearly $3500 between us; and I want
to try to provide for her as soon as I can,--so that once the chances of
ill luck are off my mind, I can make a few long voyages to other places
east of Japan. The Chinese ports are only a few days distant; and there
is Manila, there is the French Orient to see. I hope to be able to do
this in a few years more. You will be glad to hear I am very strong,
though getting grey,--much stronger than I was at thirty.
Professor Chamberlain and I have a secret project in hand,--a book on
Japanese folk-lore. Whether we can carry it out I do not know; but if
the dear Professor's health keeps up we shall do something together....
Ever faithfully,
LAFCADIO HEARN.