Of hiding our grace under the guard of humility
“My Son, it is better and safer for thee to hide the grace of devotion,
and not to lift thyself up on high, nor to speak much thereof, nor to
value it greatly; but rather to despise thyself, and to fear as though
this grace were given to one unworthy thereof. Nor must thou depend too
much upon this feeling, for it can very quickly be turned into its
opposite. Think when thou art in a state of grace how miserable and
poor thou art wont to be without grace. Nor is there advance in
spiritual life in this alone, that thou hast the grace of consolation,
but that thou humbly and unselfishly and patiently takest the
withdrawal thereof; so that thou cease not from the exercise of prayer,
nor suffer thy other common duties to be in anywise neglected; rather
do thy task more readily, as though thou hadst gained more strength and
knowledge; and do not altogether neglect thyself because of the dearth
and anxiety of spirit which thou feelest.
2. “For there are many who, when things have not gone prosperous with
them, become forthwith impatient or slothful. For the way of a man is
not in himself,(1) but it is God’s to give and to console, when He
will, and as much as He will, and whom He will, as it shall please Him,
and no further. Some who were presumptuous because of the grace of
devotion within them, have destroyed themselves, because they would do
more than they were able, not considering the measure of their own
littleness, but rather following the impulse of the heart than the
judgment of the reason. And because they presumed beyond what was
well-pleasing unto God, therefore they quickly lost grace. They became
poor and were left vile, who had built for themselves their nest in
heaven; so that being humbled and stricken with poverty, they might
learn not to fly with their own wings, but to put their trust under My
feathers. They who are as yet new and unskilled in the way of the Lord,
unless they rule themselves after the counsel of the wise, may easily
be deceived and led away.
3. “But if they wish to follow their own fancies rather than trust the
experience of others, the result will be very dangerous to them if they
still refuse to be drawn away from their own notion. Those who are wise
in their own conceits, seldom patiently endure to be ruled by others.
It is better to have a small portion of wisdom with humility, and a
slender understanding, than great treasures of sciences with vain
self-esteem. It is better for thee to have less than much of what may
make thee proud. He doeth not very discreetly who giveth up himself
entirely to joy, forgetting his former helplessness and the chaste fear
of the Lord, which feareth to lose the grace offered. Nor is he very
wise, after a manly sort, who in time of adversity, or any trouble
whatsoever, beareth himself too despairingly, and feeleth concerning Me
less trustfully than he ought.
4. “He who in time of peace willeth to be oversecure shall be often
found in time of war overdispirited and full of fears. If thou knewest
always how to continue humble and moderate in thyself, and to guide and
rule thine own spirit well, thou wouldest not so quickly fall into
danger and mischief. It is good counsel that when fervour of spirit is
kindled, thou shouldest meditate how it will be with thee when the
light is taken away. Which when it doth happen, remember that still the
light may return again, which I have taken away for a time for a
warning to thee, and also for mine own glory. Such a trial is often
more useful than if thou hadst always things prosperous according to
thine own will.
5. “For merits are not to be reckoned by this, that a man hath many
visions or consolations, or that he is skilled in the Scriptures, or
that he is placed in a high situation; but that he is grounded upon
true humility and filled with divine charity, that he always purely and
uprightly seeketh the honour of God, that he setteth not by himself,
but unfeignedly despiseth himself, and even rejoiceth to be despised
and humbled by others more than to be honoured.”
(1) Jeremiah x. 23.