Th' mooast remarkable thing 'at aw' con recollect abaat this time last
year, wor a trip to Hollinworth Lake. Ther'd been a collection made
at the Longloin Sunday Schooil for a new gas meeter; an after they'd
getten th' brass, they bethought 'em 'at th' old en could be made do,
an' soa th' taichers agreed to have a trip wi' th' funds. They argued
a gooid deeal abaat ha to spend it, an' at last it wor decided they
should walk all th' rooad, an' spend it as they went on. They started
aat at four o'clock one Setterday mornin' i' furst rate fettle. Ther
wor six men an' seven women; but as th' superintendent wor as big as
two, they considered thersen weel paired. They trudged nicely on till
they gate to Bolton Brow, an' then two or three began to feel faint,
an' Swallow (that's th' superintendent's name) propooased 'at they
should have a drop o' drink to revive 'em. Noabdy had owt to say agean
that, soa as th' public haase wor just oppened, one on 'em went in an'
browt aat a quart pitcher full an' handed it to Swallow to sup th'
furst. An' he did sup--for when he left lause ther wor nowt left but
th' froth on his upper lip to tell at ther'd iver bin ony. "Well"
said Lijah, "aw've heeared swallows called burds of passage, but if
they'd all a passage like thee, they'd sup th' sea dry." "Tha sees,
Lijah," he said, "awm unfortunate, for aw've a thirst on me 'at aw
cannot quench, an' aw darn't sup watter for fear o' havin' th'
dropsy." All th' women agreed' at he wor reight, an' soa after another
quart amang em they went on.
What wi' laffin, an' talkin,' an' smookin, they gate to Blackstone
Edge Moor, an' some of the women thowt it time for a rest, soa Swallow
stop'd all at once an' said, "Do yo all see that stooan post 'at's
standin' thear? That's the stooan at devides Yorksher an' Lankysher,
an' aw think this a 'varry fit time to say a few words woll yo ease
yor legs a bit." Soa up he climb'd onto th' pooast, an' began praichin
away, an' kept at it woll they wor all hauf pined to deeath. At last
Lijah said, "Hang it up, ha long are ta baan to talk? aw wonder thi
conscience doesn't prick thee!" "Prick me!" he said, "Aw defy owt to
prick me when awm laborin' for a gooid cause." Just then he ovver
balanced hissel an' fell slap into th' middle ov a whin bush; but he
wor up in a crack, an' one o' th' lasses said, "if his conscience
hadn't getten prick'd summat else had," an' they went forrard, but
Swallow kept his hand under his coit lap for a mile or two. They gate
to th' lake at last, an' after enjayin' what they call th' seea
breeze, they started off to see some o' th' places ov interest. One
o' th' furst they steer'd to wor th' birthplace o' Tim Bobbin. "An'
who wor Tim Bobbin?" said one o' th' lasses. This puzzled 'em, for
ther worn't one i'th' lot 'at knew; but one o' th' chaps said he
thowt, if he worn't mistakken, he war th' inventor o' th' spinnin'
mule. Th' superintendent said that wor varry likely, for he'd oft
nooatised when readin' history books, 'at chaps gate ther names throo
summat they'd done, an' soa varry likely he gate called Tim Bobbin for
that reason. After that they went back an' had a ride in a booat, an'
as nooan on em knew ha to row, th' watter were varry sooin ankle deep
inside; some on 'em began to grummel at this. "Oh, niver heed," said
Swallow, "yo'll niver catch cold wi' salt watter." It worn't long
afoor they wanted ther tea, soa they went into th' haase an' ordered a
gooid feed. Aw've heeard cunjurors say, "Quick, Jack, fly," when
they've been puttin' summat aat o'th' seet; but ther worn't time to
say that wi' them, for th' breead and butter went like leetnin'. One
plate full after another kept comin' in, till at last th' mistress
said, "Aw think yo must ha' been hungry?" "E'ea, it's change o'
climate 'at does it," they said. Soa shoo browt in a fresh lot, but
it made noa difference; away it went after tother. "Do yo' know,".
shoo says, when shoo coom in agean, "at yo've etten two pund o' breead
apiece?" "Why what's two pund when its cut thin," they said? An' at
it they went agean. When they couldn't find room for ony moor, they
paid ther shot an' started off hooam, whear they landed safely. Th'
next Sunday neet, when th' gas wor lit at schooil iverybody wor capt
to see what an' improvement th' new meter wor. Soa after passin' a
vote o' thanks to th' superintendent an' th' taichers for th' trouble
they' been put to, th' matter dropt.