The headship of a family carries with it heavy responsibilities. We may
shrink from them and avoid them, but still they remain. A good husband
and a good father makes a happy home and honest children. Drunkenness is
too often the destruction of home. If the head of the family can rule
himself in this as in other matters then he may reasonably hope for a
happy and comfortable home, but if drink is allowed to take the place of
wife or children, drink will rule the household and swallow up its peace
and prosperity. Nevertheless, drunkenness is not by any means the only
fault or indeed the beginning of the break up of a home. It is very
often the result of a home made miserable by other and easily avoided
faults. Many I suppose start their married life with the full intention
of realising their ideas of a happy home. The picture is very pleasant,
the reality is too often quite the reverse. Why? Very often because of
a want of mutual forbearance. It takes some little time really to know
one another, and unless there is a spirit of mutual forbearance the
little differences will become great quarrels. The husband is to rule,
but he is not to be a tyrant. The wife is not bound to give a blind
obedience to all his commands, and the husband is bound to respect his
wife's wishes. It ought to be a rule that in matters of importance,
where either feels it to be a question of duty, that if they cannot agree
neither should endeavour to force the other to act against their
conscience.
My first piece of practical advice to husbands would be to have a proper
understanding about money matters, and to be liberal therein. Give your
wife a regular sum per week, and let it be clearly arranged what expenses
she is responsible for.
Secondly, do not have any friends that you cannot or do not care to bring
to your home, and let no one come between you and your wife, or draw you
away to enjoy yourself apart from her.
Thirdly, do your church-going together as far as you can, and when that
is impossible arrange one with the other, so that each may be able to go
at some time every Sunday. Above all keep one another up to your regular
Communions, for there is little blessing on the married union that is not
blessed with a higher communion.
Fourthly. When you have children train them yourself, specially the
boys, who will gain far more good from father than from anyone else. It
is too much the custom to leave all the religious training to mother or
to school. Take your children to Church with you instead of seeing that
they are sent. Come is a much better word of instruction than go.
A few words in conclusion as to the general duties of a man, be he
married or single. You have no right to shirk your duties as a man to
your home, as a Christian to your Church, or as a citizen to your
country. The support and training of your family is your first duty, and
nothing may rightly come in the way of that, but the fulfilling of that
need not prevent your carrying out your other duties. You are a
Christian, you receive spiritual benefits from your connection with the
Church, you are bound then to make some return. Your prayers, your alms,
and your active work, according to your means and opportunities, ought to
be available for the work of the Church. There ought not to be any
drones in the Church's hive, but each member should bear his share of the
burdens, as well as partake of the blessings. There is work for everyone
that is ready to help.
You have still your duty to your country. Your own personal influence
may not be great, but you are nevertheless bound to use it on the side
which you believe to be right. Public opinion is made up by the
agreement of many, and the course of the nation is guided eventually by
the votes of the people. You have your share in the responsibility of
all that is done, and are therefore bound to endeavour to understand the
questions of the day, and to act upon the conclusions you may form. No
man has a right to shirk any of the responsibilities of his position, and
a true man will endeavour to serve God and his fellow-men to the best of
his ability--to do as much good as he can in the little time allotted to
him, and to leave the reward of his labours in the hands of Him for whose
sake and after whose example he has endeavoured to spend his life.