Two months later found Belle Raby sitting in the shade of a spreading
deodar-tree, placidly knitting silk socks for her husband, who,
stretched on the turf beside her, read a French novel.
Pages would not satisfactorily explain how this sequence of events
came about, because pages would not suffice to get at the bottom of
the amazing, unnatural ignorance of first principles which enables a
nice girl to marry a man towards whom she entertains a rudimentary
affection, and afterwards, with the same contented calm, to acquiesce
in the disconcerting realities of life. Belle was not the first girl
who chose a husband as she would have chosen a dress; that is to say,
in the belief that it will prove becoming, and the hope that it will
fit. Nor was she (and this is the oddest or the most tragic part in
the business) the first or the last girl who, after solemnly perjuring
herself before God and man to perform duties of which she knows
nothing, and to have feelings of which she has not even dreamed, is on
the whole perfectly content with herself and her world. In fact Belle,
as she looked affectionately at her lounging spouse, felt no shadow of
doubt as to the wisdom of her choice; so little has the mind or heart
to do with the crude facts of marriage, so absolutely distinct are the
latter from the spiritual or sentimental love with which ethical
culture has overlaid the simplicity of nature to the general confusion
of all concerned.
"Upon my life, Paul de Kock is infinitely amusing!" remarked John
Raby, throwing the book aside and turning lazily to his young wife.
"Worth twice all your Zolas and Ohnets, who _will_ be serious over
frivolity. Our friend here has an inexhaustible laugh."
"I'm sure I thought him dreadfully stupid," replied Belle simply. "I
tried to read some last night."
"I wouldn't struggle to acquire the art of reading Paul de Kock, my
dear," said John Raby with a queer smile. "It's not an accomplishment
necessary to female salvation. The most iniquitous proverb in the
language is that one about sauce for the goose and the gander. Say
what you will, men and women are as different in their fixings as
chalk from cheese. Now I,--though I am domestic enough in all
conscience--would never be contented knitting socks as you are. By the
way, those will be too big for me."
"Who said they were meant for you?" retorted Belle gaily. "Not I!"
"Perhaps not with your lips; but a good wife invariably knits socks
for her husband, and you, my dear Belle, were foreordained from the
beginning of time to be a good wife,--the very best of little wives a
man ever had."
"I hope so," she replied after a pause. "John, it is all very well
here in holiday time to be lazy as I am, but by and by I should like
to be a little more useful; to help you in your work, if I could; at
any rate to understand it, to know what the people we govern think,
and say, and do."
Her husband sat up, dangling his hands idly between his knees. "I'm
not sure about the wisdom of it. Personally I have no objection;
besides, I hold that no one has a right to interfere with another
person's harmless fancies; yet that sort of thing is invariably
misunderstood in India. First by the natives; they think a woman's
interest means a desire for power. Then by the men of one's own class;
they drag up 'grey mare the better horse,' &c. How I hate proverbs!
You see, women out here divide themselves, as a rule, betwixt balls
and babies, so the men get _cliqué_. I don't defend it, but it's very
natural. Most of us come out just at the age when a contempt for
woman's intellect seems to make our beards grow faster, and we have no
clever mixed society to act as an antidote to our own conceit. Now a
woman with a clear head like yours, Belle, you are much cleverer than
I thought you were, by the way, is sure with unbiassed eyes to see
details that don't strike men who are in the game,--unpleasant,
ridiculous details probably,--and that is always an offence. If you
were stupid, it wouldn't matter; but being as you are, why, discretion
is the better part of valour."
"But if I have brains, as you say I have, what am I to do with them?"
cried Belle, knitting very fast.
"There are the balls,--and the babies; as Pendennis said to his wife,
'_Tout vient à ceux qui savent attendre_.' By the way, I wonder where
the dickens the postman has gone to to-day? It's too bad to keep us
waiting like this. I'll report him."
"_Tout vient--!_" retorted Belle, recovering from a fine blush. "Why
are you always in such a hurry for the letters, John? I never am."
"No more am I," he cried gaily, rising to his feet and holding out his
hand to help her. "I never was in a hurry, except--" and here he drew
her towards him in easy proprietorship--"to marry you. I was in a
hurry then, I confess."
"You were indeed," said the girl, who but a year before had felt
outraged by the first passionately pure kiss of a boy, as she
submitted cheerfully to that of a man whose love was of the earth,
earthy. "Why, you hardly left me time to get a wedding-garment! But it
was much wiser for you to spend the rest of your leave here, than to
begin work and the honeymoon together."
"Much nicer and wiser; but then you are wisdom itself, Belle. Upon my
soul, I never thought women could be so sensible till I married you.
As your poor father said the first time we met, I have the devil's own
luck."
He thought so with the utmost sincerity as he strolled along the turfy
stretches beyond the deodars, with his arm round his wife's waist. The
devil's own luck, and all through no management of his own. What
finger had he raised to help along the chain of fatality which had
linked him for life to the most charming of women who ere long would
step into a fortune of thirty thousand pounds? On the contrary, had he
not given the best of advice to Philip Marsden? Had he not held his
tongue discreetly, or indiscreetly? Finally, what right would he have
had to come to Belle Stuart and say, "By an accident, I have reason to
suppose that you are somebody's heiress." For all he knew the
sentimental fool might have made another will. And yet when two days
later the dilatory postman brought in the English mail, John Raby's
face paled, not so much with anxiety, as with speculation.
"Have you been running up bills already?" he asked, lightly, as he
threw an unmistakably business envelope over to her side of the table
along with some others.
"You wouldn't be responsible, at all events," she replied with a
laugh, "for it is addressed to Miss Belle Stuart."
"I am not so sure about that," he retorted, still in the same jesting
way. "It is astonishing how far the responsibility of a husband
extends."
"And his rights," cried Belle, who in a halfhearted way professed
advanced opinions on this subject.
"My dear girl, we must have some compensation."
He sat reading, or pretending to read, his own letters with phenomenal
patience, while his wife glanced through a long crossed communication
from her step-sisters; he even gave a perfunctory attention to several
items of uninteresting family news which she retailed to him. He had
foreseen the situation so long, had imagined it so often, that he felt
quite at home and confident of his self-control.
"John!" came Belle's voice, with a curious catch in it.
"What is it, dear? Nothing the matter, I hope? You look startled." He
had imagined it so far; but he knew the next minute from her face that
he had under-rated something in her reception of the news. She had
risen to her feet with a scared, frightened look. "I don't
understand," she said, half to herself; "it must be a mistake." Then
remembering, apparently, that she no longer stood alone, she crossed
swiftly to her husband's side, and kneeling beside him thrust the open
letter before his eyes. "What does it mean, John?" she asked
hurriedly. "It is a mistake, isn't it?"
His hand, passed round her caressingly, could feel her heart bounding,
but his own kept its even rhythm despite the surprise he forced into
his face. "It means," he said, at length,--and the ring of triumph
would not be kept out of his voice--"that Philip Marsden has left you
thirty thousand pounds."
"Left _me!_--impossible! I tell you it is a mistake!"
Now that the crisis was over, the cat out of the bag, John Raby knew
how great his anxiety had been, by the sense of relief which found
vent in a meaningless laugh. "Lawyers don't make mistakes," he
replied. "It is as clear as daylight. Philip Marsden has left you
thirty thousand pounds! By Jove, Belle, you are quite an heiress!"
She stood up slowly, leaning on the table as if to steady herself.
"That does not follow," she said, "for of course I shall refuse to
take it."
Her husband stared at her incredulously. "Refuse thirty thousand
pounds,--are you mad?" He need not have been afraid of under-doing his
part of surprise, for her attitude took him beyond art into untutored
nature.
"It is an insult!" she continued in a higher key. "I will write to
these people and say I will not have it."
"Without consulting me? You seem to forget that you are a married
woman now. Am I to have no voice in the matter?" His tone was instinct
with the aggressive quiet of one determined to keep his temper.
"Supposing I disapproved of your refusal?" he went on, seeing from her
startled look that he had her unprepared.
"Surely you would not wish--"
"That is another question. I said, supposing I disapproved of the
refusal. What then?"
Standing there in bewildered surprise, the loss of her own
individuality made itself felt for the first time, and it roused the
frightened resentment of a newly-caught colt. "I do not know," she
replied, bravely enough. "But you would surely let me do what I
thought right?"
"Right! My dear girl, do stick to the point. Of course if there were
urgent reasons _against_ your taking this money--"
"But there are!" interrupted Belle quickly. "To begin with, he had no
right to leave it to me."
"I beg your pardon. The law gives a man the right to leave his money
to any one he chooses."
"But he had no right to choose me."
"I beg your pardon again. It is not uncommon for a man to leave his
money to a woman with whom he is in love."
"In love!" It was Belle's turn to stare incredulously. "Major Marsden
in love with me! What put that into your head?"
He shrugged his shoulders impatiently. "My dear child, even if you
didn't know it before,--and upon my soul you are unsophisticated
enough for anything--surely it is patent now. A man doesn't leave
thirty thousand to any woman he happens to know."
For the first time Belle flinched visibly and her face paled. "All the
more reason for refusing, surely," she replied in a low tone, after a
pause. "You could not like your wife--"
"Why not? It isn't as if you had cared for him, you know."
The blood which had left her cheeks came back with an indignant rush.
"Care for him! Can't you see that makes it doubly an insult?"
"I'm afraid not. It makes it much more sentimental, and
self-sacrificing, and beautiful, on his part; and I thought women
admired that sort of thing. I know that leaving money to the girl who
has jilted you is a stock incident in their novels."
"I did not jilt Philip Marsden. I refuse to admit the incident into my
life. I don't want to vex you, John, but I must do what I think
right."
Her husband, who had walked to the window and now stood looking out of
it, paused a moment before replying. "My dear Belle," he said at last,
turning to her kindly, "I hate on principle to make myself
disagreeable to any one, least of all to my wife, but it is best you
should know the truth. The law gives that money to me, as your
husband. You see, you married without settlements. Now, don't look
like a tragedy-queen, dear, for it never does any good. We have to
accept facts, and I had nothing to do with making the law."
"You mean that I have no power to refuse?" cried Belle with her eyes
full of indignant tears.
"I'm afraid so. But there is no reason why I should stand on my
rights. I should hate to have to do so, I assure you, and would far
rather come to a mutual understanding. Honestly, I scarcely think the
objections you have urged sufficient. Perhaps you have others; if so,
I am quite willing to consider them."
The curious mixture of resentment, regret, and remorse which rose up
in the girl's mind with the mere mention of Major Marsden's name, made
her say hurriedly, "Think of the way he treated father! If it was only
for that--" The tears came into her voice and stifled it.
John Raby looked at her gravely, walked to the window again, and
paused. "I fancied that might be one, perhaps the chief reason.
Supposing you were mistaken; supposing that Marsden was proved to have
done his best for your father, would it make any difference?"
"How can it be proved?"
"My dear Belle, I do wish you would stick to the point. I asked you if
your chief objection would be removed by Major Marsden's having acted
throughout with a regard for your father's reputation which few men
would have shown?"
"I should think more kindly of him and his legacy certainly, if such a
thing were possible."
"It is possible; and, as I said before, it is best in all things to
have the naked, undisguised truth. I would have told you long ago if
Marsden hadn't given it me in confidence. But now I feel that respect
for his memory demands the removal of false impressions. Indeed, I
never approved of his concealing the real facts. They would have been
painful to you, of course; they must be painful now--worse luck to it;
but if it hadn't been for that idiotic sentimentality of poor
Marsden's you would have forgotten the trouble by this time."
Belle, with a sudden fear, the sort of immature knowledge of the end
to come which springs up with the first hint of bad tidings, put out
her hand entreatingly. "If there is anything to tell, please tell it
me at once."
"Don't look so scared, my poor Belle. Come, sit down quietly, and I
will explain it all. For it is best you should not remain under a
wrong impression, especially now, when,--when so much depends on your
being reasonable."
So, seated on the sofa beside her husband, Belle Stuart listened to
the real story of her father's death and Philip Marsden's generosity.
"Is that all?" she asked, when the measured voice ceased. It was
almost the first sign of life she had given.
"Yes, dear, that is all. And you must remember that the trouble is
past and over,--that no one but we two need ever suspect the truth--"
"The truth!" Belle looked at him with eyes in which dread was still
the master.
"And he was not accountable for his actions, not in any way himself at
the time," he continued.
With a sudden sharp cry she turned from him to bury her face in the
sofa cushions. "Not himself at the time!" Had he ever been himself?
Never, never! How could a dishonoured, drunken gambler, dying by his
own act, have been, even for a moment, the faultless father of her
girlish dreams! And was that the only mistake she had made; or was the
world nothing but a lie? Was there no truth in it at all, not even in
her own feelings?
"I am so sorry to have been obliged to give you pain," said her
husband, laying his hand on her shoulder. "But it is always best to
have the truth."
His words seemed a hideous mockery of her thoughts, and she shrank
impatiently from his touch.
"You must not be angry with me; it is not my fault," he urged.
"Oh, I am not angry with you," she cried, with a petulant ring in her
voice as she raised herself hastily, and looked him full in the face.
"Only,--if you don't mind--I would so much rather be left alone. I
want to think it all out by myself,--quite by myself."
The hunted look in her eyes escaped his want of sympathy, and he gave
a sigh of relief at her reasonableness. "That is a wise little woman,"
he replied, bending down to kiss her more than once. "I'll go down the
_khud_ after those pheasants and won't be back till tea. So you will
have the whole day to yourself. But remember, there is no hurry. The
only good point about a weekly post is that it gives plenty of time to
consider an answer."
That, to him, was the great point at issue; for her the foundations of
the deep had suddenly been let loose, and she had forgotten the
question of the legacy. Almost mechanically she gave him back his
farewell kiss, and sat still as a stone till he had left the room.
Then, impelled by an uncontrollable impulse, she dashed across to the
door and locked it swiftly, pausing, with her hand still on the key,
bewildered, frightened at her own act. What had she done? What did it
mean? Why had her one thought been to get away from John, to prevent
his having part or lot in her sorrow? Slowly she unlocked the door
again, with a half impulse to run after him and call him back. But
instead of this she crept in a dazed sort of way to her own room and
lay down on the bed to think. Of what? Of everything under the sun, it
seemed to her confusion; yet always, when she became conscious of any
clear thought, it had to do, not with her father or Philip Marsden,
but with her own future. Was it possible that she had made other
mistakes? Was it possible that she was not in love with John? Why else
had she that wild desire to get rid of him? The very suggestion of
such a possibility angered her beyond measure. Her life, as she had
proudly claimed, was not a novel; nothing wrong or undignified,
nothing extravagant or unseemly should come into it; and it was surely
all this not to be in love with one's lawful husband! It was bad
enough even to have had such a suspicion after a bare fortnight of
wedded life; it was absurd, ridiculous, impossible. So as the day
passed on, all other considerations were gradually submerged in the
overwhelming necessity of proving to herself that she and John were a
most devoted couple. As tea-time approached she put on a certain
tea-gown which her lord and master was pleased to commend, and
generally prepared to receive the Great Mogul as husbands should be
received. Not because she had come to any conclusion in regard to that
locking of the door, but because, whatever else was uncertain, there
could be no doubt how a husband _should_ be treated. For, as some one
has said, while a man tolerates the marriage-bond for the sake of a
particular woman, the latter tolerates a particular man for the sake
of the bond.
So Belle poured out the tea and admired the pheasants, to John Raby's
great contentment; though in his innermost heart he felt a little
manly contempt for the feminine want of backbone which rendered such
pliability possible. Only once did she show signs of the unstilled
tempest of thought which lay beneath her calm manner. It was when,
later on in the evening during their nightly game of _écarté_, he
complimented her on some _coup_, remarking that her skill seemed
inherited. Then she started as if the cards she was handling had stung
her, and her face flushed crimson with mingled pain and resentment;
yet in her homeless life she had necessarily learned betimes the give
and take required in most human intercourse. The fact was that already
(though she knew it not) her husband was on his trial, and she could
no longer treat his lightest word or look with the reasonable
allowances she would have accorded to a stranger. A man is seldom
foolish enough to expect perfection in a wife; a woman from her
babyhood is taught to find it in her husband, and brought up to
believe that the deadliest sin a good woman can commit is to see a
spot in her sun. She may be a faithful wife, a kindly companion, a
veritable helpmate; but if the partner of her joys and sorrows is not,
for her, the incarnation of all manly virtues, or at least the man she
would have chosen out of all the world, her marriage must be deemed a
failure. Love, that mysterious young juggler, is not there to change
duty into something which we are told is better than duty, and so the
simple, single-hearted performance of a simple, perfectly natural
contract becomes degradation.
Belle, confused yet resentful, lay awake long after her husband slept
the sleep of the selfish. Her slow tears wetted her own pillow
quietly, decorously, lest they might disturb the Great Mogul's
slumbers. Yet she could scarcely have told why the tears came at all,
for a curious numbness was at her heart. Even the thought of her dead
father had already lost its power to give keen pain, and she was in a
vague way shocked at the ease with which her new knowledge fitted into
the old. The fact being, that now she dared to look it full in the
face without reservation, the loving compassion, the almost divine
pity which had been with her ever since the day when poor Dick had
first opened her eyes to the feet of clay, seemed no stranger, but a
familiar friend. Then Philip Marsden! Dwell as she might on her own
ingratitude, his kindness seemed too good a gift to weep over; and
again she stretched out her hands into the darkness, as she had done
on the night when her anger had risen hot against the man she
misjudged; but this time it was to call to him with a very passion of
repentance, "_Friend, I will take this gift also. In this at least you
shall have your way_."
"By George, Belle!" said John Raby next morning, when she told him
that she had made up her mind to take the legacy without demur, "you
are simply a pearl of women for sense. I prophesy we shall be as happy
as the day is long, always."
And Belle said she hoped so too. But when he fell to talking joyously
of the coming comforts of sweet reasonableness and thirty thousand
pounds, in the life that was just beginning for them, her thoughts
were busy with schemes for spending some at least of the legacy in
building a shrine of good deeds to the memory of her friend,--surely
the best friend a woman ever had. She was bound by her nature to
idealise some one, and the dead man was an easier subject than the
living one.