becoming night-dress, rushed out and cried, "You shall not be the only
one to take leave of him!" Emilia let me go; and Lucinda seized me,
clung close to my heart, pressed her black locks upon my cheeks, and
remained in this position for some time. And thus I found myself between
the two sisters, in the dilemma Emilia had prophesied to me a moment
before. Lucinda let me loose, and looked earnestly into my face. I was
about to grasp her hand and say something friendly to her; but she
turned herself away, walked with violent steps up and down the room for
some time, and then threw herself into a corner of the sofa. Emilia went
to her, but was immediately repulsed; and here began a scene which is
yet painful to me in the recollection, and which, although really it had
nothing theatrical about it, but was quite suitable to a lively young
Frenchwoman, could only be properly repeated in the theatre by a good
and feeling actress.
Lucinda overwhelmed her sister with a thousand reproaches. "This is not
the first heart," she cried, "that was inclining itself to me, and that
you have turned away. Was it not just so with him who is absent, and who
at last betrothed himself to you under my very eyes? I was compelled to
look on; I endured it; but I know how many thousand tears it has cost
me. This one, too, you have now taken away from me, without letting the
other go; and how many do you not manage to keep at once? I am frank and
good natured; and every one thinks he knows me soon, and may neglect me.
You are secret and quiet, and people think wonders of what may be
concealed behind you. Yet there is nothing behind but a cold, selfish
heart that can sacrifice every thing to itself; this nobody learns so
easily, because it lies deeply hidden in your breast: and just as little
do they know of my warm, true heart, which I carry about with me as open
as my face."
Emilia was silent, and had sat down by her sister, who became constantly
more and more excited in her discourse, and let certain private matters
slip out, which it was not exactly proper for me to know. Emilia, on the
other hand, who was trying to pacify her sister, made me a sign from
behind that I should withdraw; but, as jealousy and suspicion see with a
thousand eyes, Lucinda seemed to have noticed this also. She sprang up
and advanced to me, but not with vehemence. She stood before me, and
seemed to be thinking of something. Then she said, "I know that I have
lost you: I make no further pretensions to you. But neither shall you
have him, sister!" So saying, she took a thorough hold of my head,
thrusting both her hands into my locks and pressing my face to hers, and
kissed me repeatedly on the mouth. "Now," cried she, "fear my curse! Woe
upon woe, for ever and ever, to her who kisses these lips for the first
time after me! Dare to have any thing more to do with him! I know Heaven
hears me this time. And you, sir, hasten now, hasten away as fast as you
can!"
I flew down the stairs, with the firm determination never again to enter
the house.
End of Project Gutenberg's Autobiography, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe