_Of Governesses._
I foresee that this plan of education, will pass with many for a
chimerical project: it requires, they will say, an uncommon share of
discernment, patience, and skill, to carry it into execution: where are
the governesses capable of following, or even understanding it? But it
should be considered that when we are laying down rules for the best
education that can be given to children, we are not to give imperfect
rules; it is not matter of reprehension then, that in such an enquiry,
we aim at what is most perfect. It is true, we cannot go so far in
practice as our thoughts go upon paper, where they meet with no
obstruction; but after all, though we are absolutely unable to arrive at
perfection in this business, it will be far from useless to know what
perfection is, and to attempt it at any rate; which is the best means
of approaching it as nearly as we can. Besides, my rules do not proceed
upon the supposition of any thing extraordinary in the disposition of
children, or a concurrence of circumstances happily calculated for a
perfect education; on the contrary I endeavour to apply remedies, to
tempers naturally bad, or which have been spoilt: I calculate the common
mistakes in education, and have recourse to the most simple methods of
correcting, in the whole or in part, what has absolute need of
correction.
It is true, you will not find in this little work, the means of giving
success to an education neglected or ill conducted; but is there any
thing strange in this? Is it not the most that one can wish, to obtain
simple rules, by the observance of which, a good education may be
acquired. I confess we may dispense, and do dispense generally, with
much less than I propose; but it is likewise very obvious that children
suffer materially by this neglect. The road I am pointing out, though
tedious in appearance, is in reality the shortest, as it leads directly
to the object we are in pursuit of. The other, which is that of _fear_
and of a _superficial culture of the understanding_, short as it may
seem, is in reality long; as it hardly ever attains to the _only true
end of education_, which is to form the mind, and inspire it with a
sincere love of virtue. The greater part of those who have gone this
latter road, have to commence their journey anew, at a moment when their
education seems finished; and after having passed the first years of
their entrance into the world, in committing errors which are often
irreparable, they are forced to learn from experience, and their own
reflections, those maxims, of which that wretched and superficial
education had left them in ignorance. It should be observed moreover,
that the first services demanded in behalf of children, and which
inexperienced people regard as oppressive and impracticable, will
preserve them from troubles much more grievous; and remove obstacles
which become insurmountable, in the course of an education less accurate
and skilful.
Lastly it should be noticed that in order to execute this plan of
education, the business does not consist so much in doing any thing
which requires great talents, as in avoiding the gross errors previously
enumerated. There will be often nothing more wanting than to be calm and
patient with children: to be watchful over them: to inspire them with
confidence: to give plain and intelligible answers to their little
questions: to let their natural dispositions work in order to know them
the better: and to correct them with temper, when they are mistaken, or
in fault. It is not reasonable to expect that a good education can be
conducted by a bad governess; it is enough to deliver rules which will
give success to one, moderately qualified: of such a person it is not
expecting too much that she be possessed of good sense, a mild temper,
and the fear of God; such a one will find nothing in this treatise
subtile or abstracted, and if she should not understand the whole of it,
she will comprehend the substance at least; and that will be sufficient.
Make her read it over many times, and be at the trouble of reading it
with her; allow her the liberty of stopping you at any thing she does
not understand, or of the truth of which she is not convinced; then let
her put these instructions into practice, and if you should observe,
that in talking to the child, she loses sight of the rules which she had
agreed to follow, correct her privately in as mild a manner as possible.
This application will be wearisome to you at first, but if you are the
father or mother of the child, it is your _indispensable_ duty. Besides,
your difficulties will not be of long continuance: your governess, if
she be sensible and well-disposed, will learn more of your method in
a month by practice, than by long arguments; and she will soon be
able to go on in the right way by herself. There will be this further
circumstance to relieve you, that she will find in this little work, the
principal topics of conversation, with children, upon the most important
subjects already detailed for her; so that she will hardly have any
thing to do but to follow them; thus she will possess a collection of
the discourses she should hold with children, upon subjects the most
difficult for them to understand; it is a kind of practical education
which will be an easy guide to her.
You may likewise make excellent use of the _historical catechism_
before-mentioned. Let the person you are forming to educate your
children read it over so often, that it may be familiar to herself, and
that she may enter into the spirit of this method of teaching. It must
be acknowledged, however, that persons of even moderate talents for such
services, are rarely to be met with; and yet nothing is to be done in
education, without a proper instrument for the business; the commonest
things cannot be done of themselves, and they are always ill done by
improper people.--Choose therefore either out of your own family, or
among your tenants, or friends, or from some well-ordered society, some
young woman you think capable of being taught: apply yourself early to
the forming of her for this employment: have her near you for some time,
to make trial of her before you commit to her so important a trust.
Five or six governesses trained in this manner, would soon be able to
instruct a great number of others; many of these would probably fail,
but out of a great number, we might always repair the loss, and not be
so wretchedly compelled, as we continually are, to be seeking for a
variety of teachers.
But though the difficulty of finding governesses is great; it must be
confessed there is another yet greater, which is the _irregularity of
parents_. All the rest will signify nothing, if _they_ do not co-operate
in the business: the foundation of every thing is giving their children
_right notions_ and _edifying examples_: and yet this is only to be
found in very few families; in most, one sees nothing but confusion,
perpetual changes, a heap of servants, who are not only quarreling with
one another, but are the cause of disagreement among their masters
and mistresses. What a woeful school is this for young children! The
mother who passes her time in gaming, at plays, and in indiscreet
conversations, very gravely complains that she cannot find a governess
capable of bringing up her children; but what good can the best of
educations confer on children, with the example of such a mother before
them? One frequently sees parents who themselves carry their children to
public diversions, and other amusements,[19] which cannot fail of giving
them a disrelish for that serious and orderly course of life, in which
these very parents wish to engage them: thus they mix poison with
wholesome diet: they talk indeed of nothing but discretion, but at the
same time they are agitating the flighty imagination of their children,
by the violent impressions of music, and of passionate theatrical
representations, which indispose them for application, give them a taste
for what is passionate, and thereby make them think _innocent_ pleasure
_insipid_; and after all this still expect that the business of
education shall go on well, and consider it as an irksome and austere
thing, if it will not admit of _this mixture of good or evil_. Thus are
they fond of the reputation of being anxious for the good education of
their children, and yet are unwilling to be at the pains of complying
with the most indispensable rules of it.
[19] I recommend the sensible mother, who has really the happiness
of her daughter at heart, to peruse and reperuse the excellent
observations on this head, which are to be found in a little
pamphlet, lately published by the Rev. Mr. Owen; entitled "The
Fashionable World Displayed."
Let us conclude with the picture which the wise man has drawn of a
_virtuous woman_.
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above
rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,
so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him
good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh
wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She
is like the merchant ships, she bringeth her food from
afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth
meat to her household, and a proportion to her maidens. She
considereth a field, and buyeth it; with the fruit of her
hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with
strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that
her merchandize is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the
distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she
reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid
of the snow for her household: for all her household are
clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of
tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is
known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the
land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth
girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her
clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She
openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law
of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise
up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth
her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest
them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a
woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give
her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise
her in the gates."
Though the great difference in manners, and the brevity and boldness of
the figures, make this language obscure at first, yet the stile is so
rich and animated, that we are soon charmed with it on examination. But
what should be further remarked in it, is, that it is the authority of
Solomon, the wisest of men; it is the Holy Spirit itself speaking in
this lofty manner, to recommend to us, in the character of a woman of
rank and fortune, SIMPLICITY OF MANNERS, DOMESTIC ECONOMY and INDUSTRY.
H. Ruff, Printer and Publisher, Cheltenham.--1805.