_Instruction of Women in their Duties._
Let us now discuss, in detail, those particulars of which it is the duty
of a woman to be well informed. What are her employments? She is charged
with the education of her children--of the boys, till a certain age--of
the girls till they are married; of the conduct, manners, and morals
of her domestic attendants; of the whole detail of household expenses;
of the means of managing every thing with credit and economy; and
sometimes, of the regulation of farms and the receipt of profits which
arise from them.
Women, as well as men, should adapt their pursuits in literature and
science to their situations and functions in life; and according
to their occupations, should be their studies. We must, therefore,
confine the instruction of women to the foregoing circumstances. But a
curious woman, wishing to pry into every thing, may fancy that these
instructions will confine her curiosity within narrow limits indeed--she
is mistaken, because she knows not the importance and extent of the
particulars in which I wish her to be instructed.
What discernment is necessary to know the disposition and genius of
each of her children! to find out the proper mode of conduct so as to
discover their humours, inclinations, and talents! to check those
passions which are born with them, to inculcate good maxims, and to cure
them of their errors! What prudence should she possess, to acquire and
preserve authority over them, without forfeiting their confidence and
esteem! Has she not also need of observing and thoroughly knowing those
people whom she places near them? Undoubtedly she has: a mother of a
family ought to be completely instructed in religion, and to possess a
mature firm mind, adapted to, and experienced in, the government of her
children.
Can it be supposed that women ought _not_ to be explicitly and _formally
instructed_ in these duties, because they naturally fall into them
during the lives of their husbands, who are generally engaged in
business from home? Or, if widows, they still attend to them more
closely? St. Paul generally attaches the salvation of mothers to the
good education of daughters; for by these, he assures them, they will be
saved.
I do not here take upon me to explain all that a woman ought to know for
the education of her daughters; because such a memorial would make them
sufficiently feel the extent of that knowledge which it is their duty to
obtain.
To the government of families, add ECONOMY. The greater part of women
neglect it as a mean consideration, fit only for country folks or
farmers; or, at best, for innkeepers and housekeepers. Women nursed in
the lap of affluence, luxury, and idleness, not only neglect, but
despise, this domestic virtue; and seem to be forgetful of a middle
state between the rusticity of a peasant, and the wildness of a Canadian
savage. If you speak to them of the sale of corn, of the cultivation
of lands, of the different kinds of revenue, of the receipt or raising
of rents and other seignoral rights, of the best method of laying out
farms, and appointing receivers, they imagine that you wish to reduce
them to occupations, unworthy of their rank and character.
Ignorance is the offspring of their contempt for economy. The ancient
Greeks and Romans, so distinguished for their ability and politeness,
studied economy with the utmost care: some of their finest writers, from
their own experience, have composed works which we still possess, and
in which they give an account of the latest improvements of agriculture.
It is well known that even their conquerors did not disdain to work in
the field; and instances have come down to us in which the splendor of a
triumph was followed by the care and conduct of a plough. All this is so
foreign to our own customs and manners, that we should not credit it if
it were not supported by historical truth. But is it not natural that
the defence or augmentation of a country should be subordinate to the
ultimate object of cultivating it peaceably? Of what advantage is
victory, if it enable us not to gather the fruits of peace? After all,
solidity of intellect consists in wishing to be exactly informed of the
way in which those things operate, which constitute the foundations of
human life: the greatest occurrences are regulated by this principle.
The strength and felicity of a country consists not in the possession of
provinces badly cultivated, but in the enjoyment of those productions of
the earth which are necessary and sufficient for the sustenance of a
numerous people.
Without doubt it requires a more elevated and comprehensive genius to be
instructed and well informed in all the particulars relating to economy,
and to be thereby able to regulate an entire family (which is a little
republic), than to play, talk of the fashions, and be expert in all the
little polite arts of conversation. That is a contemptible mind indeed,
which aspires not beyond perfection in the talent of conversation: one
sees, on all sides, women whose discourse is full of sound sense and
solid maxims--while this conduct is replete with frivolousness and
absurdity--the effect of not applying by times to better pursuits.
But take care of the opposite defect: women run a risk of being in
extremes in every thing. It would be advisable for them, from their
infancy, to have the management of some trifling affair--to keep
accounts--to see the mode of bargaining for what they purchase, and to
know how each thing should be made to answer a good use. Take care,
also, that economy borders not on avarice: shew them, in detail, all the
absurdities attendant on this latter passion. Tell them that "avarice
gains little, and dishonors itself greatly." A reasonable mind will
seek, in a frugal and laborious life, only how to avoid the shame and
injustice attached to a prodigal and ruinous conduct. Superfluous
expenses are to be retrenched as they enable a person to devote a
portion of money to satisfy the claims of benevolence, friendship, and
charity: great gain is frequently the result of seasonable forbearance:
good order and management, and not sordid savings, are the source of
profit. Do not fail to expose the gross error of those female economists
who pertinaceously forbid a mold candle, while they suffer their whole
affairs to be subjected to the knavery or rapacity of a steward. Respect
propriety as well as economy. Accustom young people to do nothing in a
slovenly and disorderly manner, and to remark the least disarrangement
in a house. Make them also sensible that nothing so much contributes
to propriety and economy, as the keeping of every thing in its proper
place. This rule appears too trifling to mention; nevertheless it goes a
great way if it be rigidly observed. For instance--are you in want of
any thing? not a moment is lost in finding it--there is neither trouble,
disputation, nor embarrassment attending its search: you put your hand
immediately upon it, and when satisfied, replace it in the situation
where you found it. This _nice order_ constitutes one of the essential
parts of propriety; and every eye is struck with the neat appearance of
so exact an arrangement. Moreover, a particular place allotted to each
article, not only has a pleasing appearance, but, in reality, tends to
the preservation of that article. It is _used_ less than it otherwise
would be--it is not so frequently spoilt by accident--it is even more
respected and treasured: for example, a vase would never be covered with
dust, or become liable to be broken, if it were instantly put away after
being done with. A passion for arranging things orderly, produces a love
of neatness; and this will appear very advantageous, if it be considered
that by such means servants are never encouraged in idleness and
confusion. Again, something is gained by making their service prompt
and easy, and depriving us of an opportunity of becoming impatient and
impetuous, which is generally the case when things cannot be found from
confusion and irregularity.
At the same time, avoid the excess of politeness and propriety. When
propriety is within moderation, it is a virtue; but when we consult too
much our own tastes and fancies, it is converted into a littleness of
mind. Good taste rejects excessive delicacy: it treats little matters
_as_ little ones, and is not hurt at any unpleasant consequences
resulting therefrom. Ridicule, before children, those knick-knacks and
gewgaws, of which some women are prodigiously fond, and which lead them
insensibly into unwarrantable expenses. Accustom young people to a
propriety and decorum which is simple and easy of practice--shew them
the best way of managing things--but shew them also the advantage of
slighting them. Tell them how paltry and contemptible it is to grumble
if a dish be badly seasoned, if a curtain be unevenly folded, or a chair
be too high or too low.
It is undoubtedly better to be naturally coarse, than to have an
overweening delicacy in matters of little moment. This pernicious
delicacy, if not repressed in women of understanding, is more dangerous
as it regards conversation than every thing else: to females of this
stamp, the greater part of mankind appears insipid or fatiguing: the
least deviation from politeness is monstrous: and they are always
ridiculing and disgusted. Make such women know betimes that nothing is
so injudicious as judging superficially of people by their manners,
instead of examining the very bottom of their intellect, their
sentiments and useful qualities. Convince them, by a variety of proofs,
how much a country woman, with a coarse or even ridiculous manner, but
with a good heart and sound understanding, is more estimable than a
courtisan, who, under an acquired politeness, hides an ungrateful and
unjust heart, capable of every meanness and dissimulation. Observe also,
that those characters are always weak which incline to idleness and
disgust. There is no one whose conversation is so bad, as that some
good may not, occasionally, be drawn from it; and although a person at
liberty would prefer choosing the best characters to converse with,
yet there is some consolation, when reduced to converse with inferior
characters, that we may make them talk on subjects that they understand,
from which, perhaps, some information may be gained. But let us now
return to those particulars in which a girl should be instructed.