Adjectives have three degrees of comparison. This is perhaps the reason
why they are so disagreeable to learn.
The first degree of comparison is the positive, which denotes the
quality of a thing absolutely. Thus, the Eton Latin Grammar is lepidus,
funny.
The second is the comparative, which increases or lessens the quality,
formed by adding _or_ to the first case of the positive ending in _i_.
Thus the Charter House Grammar, is lepidor-- funnier, or more funny.
--The third is the superlative, which increases or diminishes the
signification to the greatest degree, formed from the same case by
adding thereto, _ssimus_. Thus the Comic Latin Grammar is lepidissimus,
funniest, or most funny. A Londoner is acutus, sharp, or 'cute,--
a Yorkshireman acutior, sharper, or more sharp, 'cuter or more 'cute--
but a Yankee is acutissimus-- sharpest, or most sharp, 'cutest or most
'cute, or tarnation 'cute.
Enumerate, in the manner following, with substantives, the exceptions to
this rule, mentioned in the Eton Grammar.
Bonus, good.
A plain pudding.
Melior, better.
A suet pudding.
Optimus, best.
A plum pudding.
Malus, bad.
A caning.
Pejor, worse.
A spatting.
Pessimus, worst.
A flogging.
&c. &c.
Adjectives ending in _er_, form the superlative in _errimus_. The taste
of vinegar is acer, sour; that of verjuice acrior, more sour; the visage
of a tee-totaller, acerrimus, sourest, or most sour.
Agilis, docilis, gracilis, facilis, humilis, similis, change _is_ into
_llimus_, in the superlative degree.
Agilis, nimble.-- Madlle. Taglioni.
Agilior, more nimble.-- Jim Crow.
Agillimus, most nimble.-- Mr. Wieland.
Docilis, docile.-- Learned Pig.
Docilior, more docile.-- Ourang-outang.
Docillimus, most docile.-- Man Friday.
Gracilis, slender.-- A whipping post.
Gracilior, more slender.-- A fashionable waist.
Gracillimus, most slender.-- A dustman's leg.
&c. &c.
If a vowel comes before _us_ in the nominative case of an adjective, the
comparison is made by magis, _more_, and maximè, _most_.
Pius, pious.-- Dr. Cantwell.
Magis pius, more pious.-- Mr. Maw-worm.
Maximè pius, most pious.-- Mr. Stiggins.
Sancho Panza called Don Quixote, Quixottissimus. This was not good
Latin, but it evinced a knowledge on Sancho's part, of the nature of the
superlative degree.
+OF A PRONOUN.+
A pronoun is a substitute, or (as we once heard a lady of the Malaprop
family say), a _subterfuge_ for a noun.
There are fifteen Pronouns.
Ego, tu, ille,
I, thou, and Billy,
Is, sui, ipse,
Got very tipsy.
Iste, hic, meus,
The governor did not see us.
Tuus, suus, noster,
We knock'd down a coster-
Vester, noster, vestras.
monger for daring to pester us.
To these may be added, egomet, I myself; tute, thou thyself, idem the
same, qui, who or what, and cujas, of what country.
+DECLENSION OF PRONOUNS.+
Pronouns concern _ourselves_ so much, that we cannot altogether pass
over them; though a hint or two with regard to the mode of learning
their declension is all that we can here afford to give. We are
constrained now and then to leave out a good deal of valuable matter,
for the reason that induced the Dublin manager to omit the part of
Hamlet in the play of that name-- the length of the performance.
Pronouns may be thus agreeably declined:
Ego, mei, mihi,
Hoist the frog up sky-high.
Tu, tui, tibi,
In Chancery they fib ye.
Ille, illa, illud,
Cows chew the cud.
Is, ea, id,
Always do as you're bid.
Qui, quæ, quod,
Or else you'll taste the rod.
Every donkey can decline is, ea, id. We heard one the other day on
Hampstead Heath, repeat distinctly
E--o! e--a! e--o!
[Illustration: THE FIRST LESSON IN LATIN.]
When you decline quis quæ _quid_, beware of any temptation to indulge in
dirty habits. _Es_chew pig-tail instead of chewing it. Never have any
_quid_ in your mouth, but a quid pro quo.
+OF A VERB.+
A verb is the chief word in every _sentence_, as _Suspendatur_ per
collum, let him be hanged by the neck.
It expresses the action or being of a thing. Ego _sum_ sapiens, I am a
wise man. Tu _es_ stultus, thou art a fool. Non hic amice, _pernoctas_,
you don't lodge here, Mr. Ferguson.
Verbs have two voices, like the gentleman who was singing, a short time
since, at the St. James's Theatre.
The active ending in _o_-- as amo, I love.
The passive ending in _or_-- as amor, I am loved.
In these two words is contained the terrestrial summum bonum-- In short,
love beats everything-- cock-fighting not excepted. Amo! amor! How happy
every human being, from the peer to the pot-boy, from the duchess to the
dairy-maid, would be to be able to say so.
They would _conjugate_ immediately. Except, however, certain modern
political economists of the Malthusian school, who, albeit they are
great advocates for the diffusion of learning, are violently opposed to
unlimited conjugations.
Of verbs ending in _o_ some are actives transitive. A verb is called
transitive when the action passes on to the following noun, as Seco
baculum meum, I cut my stick.
Numerous examples of this kind of cutting, which may be called a _comic
section_, are recorded in history, both ancient and modern. Even Hector
cut his stick (with Achilles after him) at the siege of Troy. The
Persians cut their stick at Marathon. Pompey cut his stick at Pharsalia,
and so did Antony at Actium. Napoleon Bonaparte cut his stick at
Waterloo.
Other verbs ending in _o_ are named neuters and intransitives. A verb is
called intransitive, or neuter, when the action does not pass on, or
require a following noun, as curro, I run. Pistol cucurrit, Pistol ran.
But to say, "Falstaff voluit _currere eum per_," "Falstaff wished _to
run him through_," would be making a neuter verb, a verb active, and
would therefore be Latin of the canine species, or Dog-Latin; so would
Meus homo Gulielmus _cucurrit caput suum_ plenum sed contra te homo dic
pax, My man William _ran his head_ full but against the mantel-piece.
This, it is obvious, will not do after Cicero.
Verbs transitive ending in _o_ become passive by changing _o_ into _or_,
as Secor, I am cut. Cæsar was cut by his friend Brutus in the capitol.
"This," as Antony very judiciously observed on the hustings, "was the
most unkindest _cut_ of all,"-- much worse, indeed, than any of the
similar operations which are daily performed in Regent Street.
[Illustration: BRUTUS AND CÆSAR.]
Verbs neuter and intransitive are never made passive. We may say, Crepo,
I crack, but we cannot say, Crepor, I am cracked.
The ancient heroes appear, from what Homer says, to have got into a way
of _cracking_ away most tremendously when they were going to engage in
single combat.
Orestes was certainly _cracked_.
Some verbs ending in _or_ have an active signification-- as Loquor,
I speak.
_Q._ Why are such verbs like witnesses on oath?
_A._ Because they are called "Deponents."
Of these some few are neuters, as Glorior, I boast.
Cæsar boasted that he came, saw, and overcame. Bald-headed people (like
Cæsar) do not, in general, make _conquests_ so easily.
Neuter Verbs ending in _or_, and verbs deponent, are declined like verbs
passive; but with gerunds and supines like verbs active; thus presenting
a curious combination of _activity_ and _supineness_.
There are some verbs which are called verbs personal. A verb personal
resembles a mixed group of old maids and young maids, because it has
_different persons_, as Ego irrideo, I quiz. Tu irrides, thou quizzest.
A verb impersonal is like a collection of tombstone angels, or small
children; it has not _different persons_, as tædet, it irketh, oportet,
it behoveth.
It irketh to learn Greek and Latin, nevertheless it behoveth to do so.
+OF MOODS.+
Moods in verbs are like moods in man, they have each of them a peculiar
_expression_. Here, however, the resemblance stops. Man has many moods,
verbs have but five. For instance, we observe in men the merry mood, the
doleful mood, (or dumps), the shy, timid, or sheepish mood, the bold, or
_bumptious_ mood, the placid mood, the angry mood, whereto may be added
the vindictive mood, and the sulky mood; the sober mood, as
contradistinguished from both the serious and the drunken mood; or as
blended with the latter, in which case it may be called the sober-drunk
mood-- the contented mood, the grumbling mood; the sympathetic mood, the
sarcastic mood, the idle mood, the working mood, the communicative mood,
the secretive mood, and the moods of all the phrenological organs;
besides the monitory or mentorial mood, and the mendacious, or lying
mood, with the imaginative, poetical, or romantic mood, the
compassionate, or melting mood, and many other moods too tedious to
mention.
We must not however omit the flirting mood, the teazing or tantalizing
mood, the giggling mood, the magging or talkative mood, and the
scandalizing mood, which are peculiarly observable in the fair sex.
The moods of verbs are the following:
1. The indicative mood, which either affirms a fact or asks a question,
as Ego amo, I _do_ love. Amas tu? _Dost_ thou love?
The long and short of all courtships are contained in these two
examples.
[Illustration: A LONG COURTSHIP.]
2. The imperative mood, which commandeth, or entreateth. This two-fold
character of the imperative mood is often exemplified in schools, the
command being on the part of the master, and the entreaty on that of the
boy-- as thus, Veni huc! Come hither! Parce mihi! Spare me! The
imperative mood is also known by the sign _let_-- as in the well-known
verse in the song Dulce Domum--
"Eja! nunc eamus."
"Hurrah! now let us be off"-- meaning for the vacation. N.B. This mood
is one much in the mouth of beadles, boatswains, bashaws, majors,
magistrates, slave drivers, superintendents, serjeants, and
jacks-in-office of all descriptions-- monitors, especially, and præfects
of public schools, are very fond of using it on all occasions.
[Illustration: THE IMPERATIVE MOOD.]
3. The potential mood signifies power or duty. The signs by which it is
known are, may, can, might, would, could, should, or ought-- as, Amem,
I may love (when I leave school). Amavissem, I should have loved (if I
had not known better,) and the like.
4. The subjunctive differs from the potential only in being always
governed by some conjunction or indefinite word, and in being subjoined
to some other verb going before it in the same sentence-- as Cochleare
eram cum amarem, I was a _spoon_ when I loved-- Nescio qualis sim hoc
ipso tempore, I don't know what sort of a person I am at this very time.
The propriety of the above expression "cochleare," will be explained in
a Comic System of Rhetoric, which perhaps may appear hereafter.
5. The infinitive mood is like a gentleman's cab, because it has no
number.
We have not made up our minds exactly, whether to compare it to the
"picture of nobody" mentioned in the Tempest, or to the "picture of
ugliness," which young ladies generally call their successful rivals. It
may be like one, or the other, or both, because it has no _person_.
Neither has it a nominative case before it; nor, indeed, has it any more
business with one than a toad has with a side pocket.
It is commonly known by the sign _to_. As, for example-- Amare, to love;
Desipere, to be a fool; Nubere, to marry; P[oe]nitere, to repent.
+OF GERUNDS AND SUPINES.+
Ever anxious to encourage the expansion of youthful minds, by as general
a cultivation as possible of the various faculties, we beg to invite
attention to the following combination of Grammar, Poetry, and Music.
_Air._-- Believe me if all those endearing young charms. --_Moore._
The gerunds of verbs end in di, do, and dum,
But the supines of verbs are but two;
For instance, the active, which endeth in _um_,
And the passive which endeth in _u_.
Amandi, of loving, kind reader, beware;
Amando, in loving, be brief;
Amandum, to love, if you 're doom'd, have a care,
In the goblet to drown all your grief.
Amatum, Amatu, to love and be loved,
Should it be your felicitous (?) lot,
May the fuel so needful be never removed
Which serves to keep boiling the pot.
+OF TENSES.+
In verbs there are five tenses, or times, expressing an action, or
affirmation.
1. The present tense, or time. There is no time (or tense) like the
present. It expresses an action now taking place. Examples-- _Act._ I
love, or am loving. Amo, I am loving. --_Pass._ I am made drunk, or am
drunk. Inebrior, I am drunk.
2. The preterimperfect tense denotes something, or a state of things,
partly, but not entirely past. --Examp. I did love or was loving.
Amabam, I was loving. I was made drunk an hour ago. Inebriabar, I was
made drunk.
3. The preterperfect tense expresses a thing lately done, but now ended.
--Examp. I have loved, or I loved. Amavi, I loved. I have been made
drunk, or have been drunk. Inebriatus sum, I have been drunk.
4. The preterpluperfect tense refers to a thing done at some time past,
but now ended. --Examp. Amaveram, I had loved. Inebriatus eram, I had
been drunk.
5. The future tense relates to a thing to be done hereafter, as, Amabo,
I shall or will love. Inebriabor, I shall get drunk-- say to-morrow.
+OF NUMBERS AND PERSONS.+
Verbs have two numbers. No. 1, Singular, No. 2, Plural.
In most matters it is usual to pay exclusive attention to number one. In
learning the verbs, however, it is necessary to regard equally number
two.-- The _persons_ of verbs are generally considered very
disagreeable. Verbs have three persons in each number. Thus, for
instance, at a dancing academy--
Sing.
Ego salto, I dance,
Tu saltas, Thou dancest,
Ille saltat, He danceth.
Plur.
Nos saltamus, We dance,
Vos saltatis, Ye dance,
Illi saltant, They dance.
At an academy on _Free-knowledge-ical_ principles-- or a Comic Academy.
Ego rideo, I laugh,
Tu rides, Thou laughest,
Ille ridet, He laugheth.
Nos ridemus, We laugh,
Vos ridetis. Ye laugh,
Illi rident, They laugh.
Laughter, too, is very common at other academies, but generally occurs
on the wrong side of the mouth. The right sort of laughter (which may be
presumed to be on the _right_ side of the mouth), is most frequent about
the time of the holidays. What does the song say?
"Ridet annus, prata rident
Nosque rideamus."
"The year laughs, the meadows laugh,--
suppose we have a laugh as well."
_Note_-- That all nouns are of the third person except Ego, Nos, Tu, and
Vos. Hence we see how absurdly the man who drew a couple of donkeys
acted in endeavouring to prevail upon _us_ to call the picture "_We_
Three"-- _Ille_, _he_,-- may, perhaps, have been qualified to make a
_third person_ in the group, and have "written himself down an ass" with
some correctness. _Ego_, _I_, and _Nos_, _we_, have certainly nothing in
common with that animal, and it is to be hoped that neither Tu, thou,
nor Vos, ye, can be said to partake of his nature.
_Note_ also. That all nouns of the vocative case are of the second
person. So that if we should say, O asine, O thou donkey; or O asini,
O ye donkeys, we should have grammar at least on our side.
Be it your care to prevent us from having justice also.