“Mother, Home and Heaven.” We may well pity that being so unfortunate
as not to have enjoyed the blessings of a happy home, for in the
battle of life we need to be armed with the counsels and prayers
of a mother, and all holy and sweet home influences, if we are to
successfully meet the snares and perils which will beset us. Home
is the paradise in which this wonderful world is first revealed to
our growing consciousness, and as from its safe shelter we look out
upon life we form our estimate of it according to the impressions and
teachings we there receive. If the home is brightened with the sunshine
of love, its radiance is reflected in all around us, and the whole
world appears to us only as one family,—full of kind thoughts, tender
sympathies, gentle ministrations and noble deeds. If the home life
is sour, gloomy and unhappy, then we see the whole world through the
same atmosphere of misery and discontent; and it is to us only a dull,
dismal prison, crowded with selfish souls, whose petty strifes and base
actions cause perpetual turmoils and unhappiness.
Parents, depend upon it, you have no holier nor higher work to do than
to make home attractive. In after years your endeavors will be repaid
a hundred fold by the grateful affection, the happy memories, and the
noble lives of your children, who, whatever their success elsewhere,
will ever turn to the old homestead and its inmates as the Mecca of
their earthly pilgrimage.
A SUNNY TEMPER.
If it were possible for us to invoke the aid of some powerful genii,
who, as we passed through life, could summon troops of loving friends
around us, and make our pathway radiant with their smiles and
blessings, we should think no labor too arduous, no sacrifice too great
to procure such inestimable happiness. If such a beneficent fairy held
court and dispensed such favors, though she dwelt in the uttermost
parts of the earth, what caravans of eager pilgrims would throng to
that favorite realm! We often forget that the priceless charm which
will secure to us all these desirable gifts is within our reach. It
is the charm of a sunny temper,—a talisman more potent than station,
more precious than gold, more to be desired than fine rubies. It is an
aroma, whose fragrance fills the air with the odors of Paradise. It
is an amulet, at sight of which dark clouds of perplexity and hideous
shapes of discord flee away. It wreathes the face with smiles, creates
friends, promotes cheerfulness, awakens tenderness, and scatters
happiness. It fills the heart with joy, it robs sorrow of its pain and
makes of earth a very heaven below.
VALUE OF FEMALE SOCIETY TO MAN.
One of the most marked men of this century, Disraeli, who achieved
distinction in many different lines of thought and action, toward
the close of a career of extraordinary success, made the remarkable
statement that “a female friend, amiable, clever and devoted, is a
possession more valuable than parks and palaces, and without such
a nurse, few men can succeed in life,—none be content.” The reason
why multitudes of gifted and brilliant men fail in their career, is
for want of the very traits of character which female society would
impart. How many men are intellectual, well informed, and possess a
complete practical knowledge of the pursuit they enter upon! but they
are _brusque_, imperious, and overbearing; they lack the urbanity of
demeanor, the consideration of others’ feelings, the gracefulness of
expression, which are necessary to conciliate men and to draw them
to themselves; and for the need of these qualities their progress is
impeded, or they fail in their plans altogether. The female character
possesses those qualities in which most men are deficient,—the delicate
instincts, the acute perceptions, the ready judgment, the wonderful
intuitions,—these all belong to her by native right, and are usually
acquired by men through her influence.
HOME MAXIMS.
The following maxims, if put in practice daily, would do much to
promote harmony and good feeling in the home:
“Never make a remark at the expense of the other; it is meanness.”
“Never manifest anger.”
“Never speak loud to one another, unless the house is on fire.”
“Never reflect on a past action which was done with a good motive, and
with the best judgment.”
“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence.
Besides, it may be that you will not meet again in life.”
“Let each one strive to yield oftenest to the wishes of the other,
which is the mutual cultivation of an absolute unselfishness.”
TRUE POLITENESS.
Politeness has been called the oil which makes the wheels of society
run smoothly; and certainly it does greatly lessen the friction of
daily contact with each other. Keen perceptions, a wise discernment,
and a natural power of imitation, with much contact with the world,
are the essential requirements of polished manners. It has been said
“that the best bred man is he who is possessed of dignified ease, to
reconcile him to all situations and society.” This is not attained
so much from a knowledge of the rules of etiquette, as by an innate
nobility of character, a greatness of soul, and proper self-respect.
True politeness is never the product merely of punctilious conformity
to established usages, although it is necessary to have a knowledge of
these, but rather of an overflowing kindness of heart, a generosity
of spirit, and a sacred regard for the golden rule. Indeed, the grand
foundation on which the etiquette of all civilized countries is based,
is that of doing to others as you would they should do unto you, and in
preferring others to yourself.
MOCK MODESTY.
A proper sense of modesty is a virtue which makes real merit more
charming, because seemingly unconscious of excellence. But carried to
an excess it will tend to dwarf the powers, cripple the energies and
defeat the great purposes of life. When a man is well qualified to
do a certain thing, and feels that he can and ought to do it, but is
impelled by modesty to shrink back into obscurity for fear of bringing
himself into notice, then has his modesty degenerated into cowardice,
and instead of consoling himself that he is cherishing a great virtue,
he needs the lash of stern rebuke for his lack of manliness. One of the
most charming of essayists, says: “I have noticed that under the notion
of modesty men have indulged themselves in a spiritless sheepishness,
and been forever lost to themselves, their families, their friends and
their country. I have said often, modesty must be an act of the will,
and yet it always implies self-denial, for if a man has a desire to do
what is laudable for him to perform, and from an unmanly bashfulness
shrinks away and lets his merit languish in silence, he ought not to be
angry with the world that a more unskillful actor succeeds in his part,
because he has not confidence to come upon the stage himself.”
THE ART OF CONVERSATION.
To converse well requires more than mere information or knowledge,
combined with a ready facility of expression. There must also be
sound judgment and a good heart, for without these all other triumphs
are hollow and delusive. Our conversation should be such as will be
agreeable to others; the subject of it should be appropriate to the
time, place and company, and we should avoid all bitterness, all
thoughtless criticisms, all unseemly ridicule, and the heartlessness
which wounds the feelings and disturbs the peace of those who listen
to us,—and then our presence will be welcomed, and we shall diffuse
pleasure and promote friendship. All the resources of tact and wisdom
may be summoned into action in the exercise of our colloquial powers.
An ancient philosopher made it a rule to divide the day into several
parts, appointing each part to its proper engagement, and one of these
was devoted to _silence wherein to study what to say_. What innumerable
heart-burnings; what a multitude of quarrels; what a host of local
feuds would be avoided, if this wise rule were universally followed!
WHEN “SMALL-TALK” IS TIMELY.
One of the first requisites of conversation is to have something
worth saying. Lowell once said, “Blessed are they who have nothing to
say, and cannot be persuaded to say it;” and another remarked, “There
are few wild beasts to be dreaded more than a communicative man with
nothing to communicate.” Clearly, this might be aimed at the small-talk
habits of some.
Carlyle, in his rugged, vigorous style, expresses himself quite as
strongly to the same point: “Thou who wearest that cunning, heaven-made
organ, a tongue, think well of this: Speak not, I passionately
entreat thee, till thy thought have silently matured itself, till thou
have other than mad and mad-making noises to emit; _hold thy tongue_
till _some_ meaning lie behind it to set it wagging. Consider the
significance of SILENCE; it is boundless,—never by meditating to be
exhausted; unspeakably profitable to thee! Cease that chaotic hub-bub
wherein thy own soul runs to waste, to confused suicidal dislocation
and stupor; out of silence comes strength.”
The ground-work of conversation is knowledge of the subject under
consideration, and without this words are but useless sounds. Yet there
are conditions in which a vigorous flow of “small-talk,” we talk with
no particular object or value. Live to enliven and keep in good humor,
is most desirable.
MONOPOLIZING TALKERS.
An eminent clergyman once administered this rebuke to a young lady,
who absorbed the entire time of the company by her small talk: “Madam,
before you withdraw, I have one piece of advice to give you, and that
is, when you go into company again, after you have talked half an hour
without intermission, I recommend it to you to stop awhile, and see if
any other of the company has anything to say.” There are few persons
of such rare learning and ability that one can afford, when in their
company, to be only a listener. There is a Chinese proverb that “a
single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten
years’ study with books.” But how comparatively few good talkers there
are, and how lightly is the art esteemed. And yet, will it not always
be true that “Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in pictures of
silver?”
A POINT ON BEING WELL DRESSED.
A celebrated English divine once said to a lady: “Madam, so dress and
so conduct yourself, that persons who have been in your company shall
not recollect what you had on.” To be well dressed does not necessarily
mean that your apparel should be a copy of the latest whim of fashion,
or made of the costliest material. That person is well dressed whose
attire shows a suitableness to circumstances of time and place, and the
position and means of the wearer. Neglect and inattention to the small
externals of dress should be carefully guarded against.
ENJOY YOUR YOUTH.
Youth comes to us but once; it is the season of golden hopes, of
overflowing spirits and of joyous anticipations, and so it demands
surroundings suited to these emotions. You may require no recreation
but such as your business and daily toil supply; your mind may be
absorbed in your plans and schemes, which appear to you of almost as
much importance as the affairs of an empire, and with this you are
satisfied; but, if so, your eyes are not young eyes, and your heart
must have long ago been dead to the voices of your youth, to expect
that your children will be contented and happy, unless you respond to
some of the impulses of their joyous natures. If you have not already
the refining power of music in your little circle, procure a piano or
organ, and encourage your children to sing and play. Surround yourself
with a little social circle of your own. Adorn your walls with pictures
and thus cultivate a love of art; subscribe to a standard magazine or
two, and provide them with such books as will give them glimpses of
what is going on in the world around them.
THE SUPERIOR HOSTESS.
A superior hostess does not make her house a spectacle. She infuses
into her hospitalities the charm of comfort and purity, the sweetness
of friendship, the sacredness of the relation between the entertainer
and the entertained; and between herself and even the humblest of her
guests there is a recognizable tie which is as dissimilar to that which
fastens her interest to another guest as its variation is charming.
A USEFUL HINT.
At an evening visit or entertainment, if the invited person departs
before the usual and specified hour, he and she should omit formal
adieus, if possible, to avoid putting the thoughts of an unusually
early departure into the minds of other guests; but if an unnoticed
departure is impossible, the leave-taking should be quietly done, the
hostess expressing her regret at the early departure, but on no account
can she request a delay that some necessity has demanded. It would be
as unkind as it would be indelicate to urge a guest to inconvenience
himself for the sake of keeping a crowd intact at a fashionable crush,
or even at a small party.
HOW TO AMUSE.
[Illustration]
THE DANCING EGG.
Place the egg (which should be hard-boiled, not raw) upon the
under-side of a smooth tray, and move the tray round and round
horizontally, gradually increasing in speed. The egg, resting in the
middle of the tray, is carried round and round by the movement, and
gradually begins to revolve on its own axis, faster and faster, till at
last it is seen to rise on end, and spin away exactly as a top would do.
In all experiments involving egg-balancing, you will find it a material
aid to success to keep the egg upright in the saucepan while it is
being boiled. The air-chamber will, in such case, be kept central with
the longer axis of the egg, which will in consequence be much more
easily balanced.
To set the egg spinning as above described demands a considerable
amount of practice, not to mention some strength, and, still more,
address. For the benefit of those who may prefer to succeed at the
first attempt, I will indicate a simpler plan of proceeding:—
Place the tray on the table, letting it project so far over the edge
as to be readily and rapidly grasped by the hand. Place the egg in
the middle, and with the thumb of the left and the first finger of
the right hand placed at opposite ends, set it vigorously spinning.
It will immediately rise on end, still spinning. Quickly seize the
tray, and you will then have nothing to do but to keep the egg still
rotating, which is a very easy matter. This is done by moving the tray
in horizontal circles, but in the reverse direction to that in which
the egg revolves.
THE OLD FAMILY COACH.
Miss Annie and Clara and the Little Dog decided to take a ride in the
Family Coach, so, whip in hand, the fat Coachman shut the Door, mounted
the box, the Little Dog barked, when they entered the Family Coach, and
almost fell among the Wheels. Miss Clara and Annie scolded the Coachman
for being so careless in starting the Family Coach too soon, and
putting the Little Dog in danger of falling among the Wheels. Finally
the Coachman cracked his whip and the Family Coach started in good
shape, the Little Dog barking furiously. Everything went well with the
Family Coach for a few miles, till the Coachman spied a pretty girl on
the road. He kept looking after her and did not see that he was putting
the Family Coach and horses in danger, when crash! went the Family
Coach. Miss Clara and Miss Annie screamed, the Little Dog barked; the
Coachman shouted, the Wheels went in different directions, and the
Axle, the Whiffle Tree and all the parts of the Family Coach were left
in a heap in the road, in care of the Coachman, while Miss Clara, Miss
Annie and the Little Dog went home on foot. Such were the adventures of
the Family Coach.
Assemble the company, and give to each one of the names that are
capitalized in the first paragraph, four being Wheels, two Axles, one
the Whiffle Tree and one the Door, the names of the ladies to two, and
select the tallest person in the room for the Little Dog. After all the
names of all the parts are given, some one stands in the middle of the
floor and reads the Adventures of the Family Coach.
Each time the Family Coach is mentioned every one in the room should
rise, turn around three times, and sit down again. When the wheels are
mentioned, four persons bearing the names of Wheels also rise, turn
around three times, and sit down. The Little Dog barks, the Coachman
shouts, the two ladies bow when their names (Miss Clara and Miss
Annie), are called. There is great fun when the Little Dog is called
on repeatedly to rise, turn, and sit down again. When the Horses are
mentioned four persons also rise, turn around, etc., and so until
disaster overtakes the Coach. This game causes much merriment, and
general good feeling.
THE GAME OF QUOTATIONS.
All the members of the company being seated, each is provided with
pencil and paper. Some one gives a quotation, while the other players
write the speaker’s name upon their papers, and opposite it the name of
the author from whom they believe he has quoted. After each in turn has
given a quotation, the papers are collected and re-distributed, care
being taken that no one shall receive his own. Then each repeats the
quotation originally given, this time adding the name of the author;
the other players correcting meanwhile the papers held by them. The
person who has given the largest number of authors correctly wins a
prize. For example, the first player rises and says:
Colors seen by candle-light
Do not look the same by day.
The next says:
Handsome is that handsome does.
And so on until all have given quotations. When the papers are
exchanged, No. 1, again rising says:
Colors seen by candle-light
Do not look the same by day.
Mrs. Browning.
No. 2:
Handsome is that handsome does.
Goldsmith.
And so on through the list. If any player has substituted some other
name for Browning or Goldsmith, or has failed to write the name of any
author, it must be marked as incorrect. One player then collects and
compares all the papers and announces the winner of the contest.
CRAMBO.
Each member of the party is provided with paper and pencil, also with
two small cards or slips of paper, upon one of which is to be written
a question and on the other a single word. The questions and words are
collected separately and re-distributed, whereupon each player must
answer in rhyme the question he has drawn, introducing into the rhyme
the word on the other card. The time is limited to five minutes, and
when this has expired, each reads aloud the result of his labors,
first giving the question and word received. To make the game more
interesting it is sometimes required that the word received shall be
made a rhyming word. Here is an example: A writes for his question
“Where is the end of the rainbow?” and for his single word “goose.” In
the allotted time he writes the following:
You ask where the end of the rainbow is found;
Just answer yourself if you can, sir.
For “anser” in Latin in English means “goose,”
And I’m not such a goose as to answer.
PICTURED QUOTATIONS.
At the top of a half sheet of paper (each player having one), a picture
is rudely drawn illustrating some quotation. When all the drawings are
finished each player passes his paper to his right-hand neighbor, who
writes his interpretation of the picture at the bottom of the paper,
turning the paper over to conceal the writing and passing it on to
the next player. When each has written on all the papers and they
have returned to their owners, they are unfolded and their contents
read aloud, the correct quotation being given last. As an instance,
A draws a casement window through which is seen a face gazing at a
cluster of stars. The paper is passed to No. 1, and he writes as his
interpretation:
In the prison cell I sit, thinking mother dear of you.
No. 2 writes:
Mabel, little Mabel, with her face against the pane.
None guess correctly, so A explains that it illustrates this couplet
from Tennyson’s “Locksley Hall:”
Many a night from yonder ivied casement ere I went to rest,
Have I looked on great Orion sloping slowly toward the West.
CROSS QUESTIONS.
The company is divided into two equal parts, and blank cards and
pencils are distributed. One side writes questions on any subject
desired, while the other prepares in like manner a set of hap-hazard
answers. The question cards are then collected and distributed to the
players on the other side, while their answers are divided among the
questioners. The leader holding a question then reads it aloud, the
first player on the other side reading the answer he holds. Some of the
answers are highly amusing.
THE GAME OF RHYMES.
A variation of the former game. The game is begun by a young lady or
gentleman speaking a single line, to which the next nearest on the left
must respond with another line to rhyme with the first. The next player
gives a new line, of the same length, and the fourth supplies a rhyme
in turn, and so on. The game is provocative of any amount of fun and
nonsense. A sample may be given.
1st Player.—I think I see a brindle cow.
2d Player.—It’s nothing but your dad’s bow wow.
3d Player.—He is chasing our black Tommy cat.
4th Player.—Poor puss had best get out of that, etc.
Any amount of nonsense may be indulged in a game of this sort,
within proper limits. Clever players can easily give the game a most
interesting turn and provoke rhymes that are original and witty. Thus,
a subject once started, every phase of it may be touched upon before
the round closes.
[Illustration: THE FIVE-STRAW PUZZLE.]
You are supplied with five straws of equal length (about three and
a half inches), and you are required to lift all five, holding only
the tip of one of them. A glance will show you the arrangement of the
five little straws and the coin in their centre, which is, as will be
seen, as simple as possible—when you know it. The use of the coin is
an optional addition. It wedges all tight, and prevents the straws
slipping when once put together; but it is by no means indispensable.
FRENCH RHYMES.
Each member of the company writes upon a slip of paper two words that
rhyme. These are collected by one player and read aloud, and as they
are read everybody writes them down upon new papers. Five or ten
minutes being allowed, each player must write a poem introducing all
the rhyming words in their original pairs. At the expiration of the
given time the lines are read aloud. Suppose the words given are “man
and than,” “drops and copse,” “went and intent,” etc., these are easily
framed into something like this:
Once on a time a brooklet drops,
With splash and dash, through a shady copse;
One day there chanced to pass a man,
Who, deeming water better than
Cider, down by the brooklet went,
To dip some up was his intent.
Of course the result is nonsense, but it is pleasant nonsense, and may
be kept up indefinitely, to the entertainment of the participants.
WHERE’S YOUR LETTER GOING?
All being seated, two of the company are chosen, one for postmaster,
the other for carrier. The Postmaster gives the name of some city to
each person, writing the names down upon paper as they are given. The
carrier, blindfolded, stands in the middle of the room and the postman
calls: “I have a letter to go from Philadelphia to St. Louis.”
As the names are mentioned, the persons representing these cities
change places, the carrier at the same time trying to catch one of
them. If he succeeds, and can, while blindfolded, give the name of the
captured player, the latter becomes carrier in turn. When the postman
says: “I have letters to go all over the world,” everybody rises and
changes places, and if in the confusion the carrier captures a seat,
the player who remains standing becomes carrier in turn.
[Illustration: THE DIVIDED PEAR.]
Problem: To find the position in which a knife must be held that a
pear, suspended high up near to the ceiling, shall, on the severing of
the thread to which it is attached, so fall as to cut itself in half
upon the blade. There is no necessity for line or plummet; we need only
dip the suspended pear in a glass of water, which we forthwith remove.
The water drips from it; we note the exact spot on floor or table where
the drops fall, and make a private mark on such spot.
This is done privately beforehand, so that the company, on their
arrival, find the pear suspended in readiness for the feat, and know
nothing of the tell-tale “drop.”
At the proper moment you hold the knife, edge upward, immediately over
the point which you have marked, while some one applies a lighted match
to the thread. If you have duly followed our instructions, the pear, in
falling, should cut itself in half upon the blade.
For the experiment as above described one knife only is used; but it
may also be performed with two knives, as shown in our illustration.
THE GAME OF BOUQUET.