To Mrs. Melmoth, at Montreal.
Silleri, April 8.
I am indeed, Madam, this inconsistent creature. I have at once
refused to marry Colonel Rivers, and owned to him all the tenderness of
my soul.
Do not however think me mad, or suppose my refusal the effect of an
unmeaning childish affectation of disinterestedness: I can form to
myself no idea of happiness equal to that of spending my life with
Rivers, the best, the most tender, the most amiable of mankind; nor can
I support the idea of his marrying any other woman: I would therefore
marry him to-morrow were it possible without ruining him, without
dooming him to a perpetual exile, and obstructing those views of
honest ambition at home, which become his birth, his connexions, his
talents, his time of life; and with which, as his friend, it is my
duty to inspire him.
His affection for me at present blinds him, he sees no object but me
in the whole universe; but shall I take advantage of that inebriation
of tenderness, to seduce him into a measure inconsistent with his real
happiness and interest? He must return to England, must pursue fortune
in that world for which he was formed: shall his Emily retard him in
the glorious race? shall she not rather encourage him in every laudable
attempt? shall she suffer him to hide that shining merit in the
uncultivated wilds of Canada, the seat of barbarism and ignorance,
which entitles him to hope a happy fate in the dear land of arts and
arms?
I entreat you to do all you can to discourage his design. Remind him
that his sister's marriage has in some degree removed the cause of his
coming hither; that he can have now no motive for fixing here, but his
tenderness for me; that I shall be justly blamed by all who love him
for keeping him here. Tell him, I will not marry him in Canada; that
his stay makes the best mother in the world wretched; that he owes his
return to himself, nay to his Emily, whose whole heart is set on seeing
him in a situation worthy of him: though without ambition as to myself,
I am proud, I am ambitious for him; if he loves me, he will gratify
that pride, that ambition; and leave Canada to those whose duty
confines them here, or whose interest it is to remain unseen. Let him
not once think of me in his determination: I am content to be beloved,
and will leave all else to time. You cannot so much oblige or serve me,
as by persuading Colonel Rivers to return to England.
Believe me, my dear Madam,
Your affectionate
Emily Montague.