_Benj._ It will not hurt _good_ boys at all--
It's only Father's Man-trap--why so pale?
_Wm._ The self-same tree!... the wall that TOM _would_ scale!
Where's THOMAS _now_? Ah, TOM, the wilful pride of you!
[_The Man-trap affects an elaborate unconsciousness._
_Benj._ (_with sudden enlightenment_) Man-trap, I do believe poor TOM'S
inside of you!
That sort of smile's exceedingly suspicious.
[_The Man-trap endeavours to hide in the grass._
_Wm._ Ah, Monster, give him back--'tis true he's vicious,
And had no business to go making free with you!
But think, so bad a boy will disagree with you!
[WILLIAM _and_ BENJAMIN _kneel in attitudes of entreaty on either
side of the Man-trap, which shows signs of increasing emotion
as the song proceeds._
BENJAMIN (_sings_). | WILLIAM (_sings_).
|
Man-trap, bitter our distress is | In his downward course arrest him!
That you have unkindly penned | (He may take a virtuous tack);
In your innermost recesses | Pause awhile, ere you digest him.
One who used to be our friend! | Make an effort--bring him back!
[_The Man-trap is convulsed by a violent heave_; WILLIAM _and_
BENJAMIN_ bend forward in an agony of expectation, until a
small shoe and the leg of_ THOMAS'S _pantaloons are finally
emitted from the Monster's jaws._
_Benj._ (_exultantly_). See, WILLIAM, now he's coming ... here's his
shoe for you!
_The Man-trap_ (_with an accent of genuine regret_). I'm sorry--but
that's all that I can do for you!
_Wm._ (_raising the shoe and the leg of pantaloons, and holding them
sorrowfully at arm's length_). He's met the fate which moralists
all promise is
The end of such depraved careers as THOMAS's!
Oh, BENJAMIN, take warning by it _be_-time!
(_More brightly_). But now to wash our hands--'tis nearly tea-time!
[_Exeunt_ WILLIAM _and_ BENJAMIN, _to wash their hands, as Curtain
falls. N.B. This finale is more truly artistic, and in accordance
with modern dramatic ideas, than the conventional "picture."_
* * * * *
"A MONTAGU! A MONTAGU!"--Our common-sense Magistrate, Mr. Montagu
WILLIAMS, heavily fined a steam-rolling demon, which comes in our
streets as anything but a boon and a blessing to men and horses. _À
propos_ of this "worthy beak," when are his "Reminiscences" to appear?
The book is bound,--no, not yet, or it would have been published,--but,
when it is ready, it is bound to be amusing.
* * * * *
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