The Security of Contemplatives Lies in Their Not Ascending to
High Things if Our Lord Does Not Raise Them. The Sacred Humanity
Must Be the Road to the Highest Contemplation. A Delusion in
Which the Saint Was Once Entangled.
1. There is one thing I should like to say--I think it important:
and if you, my father, approve, it will serve for a lesson that
possibly may be necessary; for in some books on prayer the
writers say that the soul, though it cannot in its own strength
attain to this state,--because it is altogether a supernatural
work wrought in it by our Lord,--may nevertheless succeed, by
lifting up the spirit above all created things, and raising it
upwards in humility, after some years spent in a purgative life,
and advancing in the illuminative. I do not very well know what
they mean by illuminative: I understand it to mean the life of
those who are making progress. And they advise us much to
withdraw from all bodily imagination, and draw near to the
contemplation of the Divinity; for they say that those who have
advanced so far would be embarrassed or hindered in their way to
the highest contemplation, if they regarded even the Sacred
Humanity itself. [1] They defend their opinion [2] by bringing
forward the words [3] of our Lord to the Apostles, concerning the
coming of the Holy Ghost; I mean that Coming which was after the
Ascension. If the Apostles had believed, as they believed after
the Coming of the Holy Ghost, that He is both God and Man, His
bodily Presence would, in my opinion, have been no hindrance; for
those words were not said to the Mother of God, though she loved
Him more than all. [4] They think that, as this work of
contemplation is wholly spiritual, any bodily object whatever can
disturb or hinder it. They say that the contemplative should
regard himself as being within a definite space, God everywhere
around, and himself absorbed in Him. This is what we should
aim at.
2. This seems to me right enough now and then; but to withdraw
altogether from Christ, and to compare His divine Body with our
miseries or with any created thing whatever, is what I cannot
endure. May God help me to explain myself! I am not
contradicting them on this point, for they are learned and
spiritual persons, understanding what they say: God, too, is
guiding souls by many ways and methods, as He has guided mine.
It is of my own soul that I wish to speak now,--I do not
intermeddle with others,--and of the danger I was in because I
would comply with the directions I was reading. I can well
believe that he who has attained to union, and advances no
further,--that is, to raptures, visions, and other graces of God
given to souls,--will consider that opinion to be best, as I did
myself: and if I had continued in it, I believe I should never
have reached the state I am in now. I hold it to be a delusion:
still, it may be that it is I who am deluded. But I will tell
you what happened to me.
3. As I had no director, I used to read these books, where, by
little and little, I thought I might understand something.
I found out afterwards that, if our Lord had not shown me the
way, I should have learned but little from books; for I
understood really nothing till His Majesty made me learn by
experience: neither did I know what I was doing. So, in the
beginning, when I attained to some degree of supernatural
prayer,--I speak of the prayer of quiet,--I laboured to remove
from myself every thought of bodily objects; but I did not dare
to lift up my soul, for that I saw would be presumption in me,
who was always so wicked. I thought, however, that I had a sense
of the presence of God: this was true, and I contrived to be in a
state of recollection before Him. This method of prayer is full
of sweetness, if God helps us in it, and the joy of it is great.
And so, because I was conscious of the profit and delight which
this way furnished me, no one could have brought me back to the
contemplation of the Sacred Humanity; for that seemed to me to be
a real hindrance to prayer.
4. O Lord of my soul, and my Good! Jesus Christ crucified!
I never think of this opinion, which I then held, without pain; I
believe it was an act of high treason, though done in ignorance.
Hitherto, I had been all my life long so devout to the Sacred
Humanity--for this happened but lately; I mean by lately, that it
was before our Lord gave me the grace of raptures and visions.
I did not continue long of this opinion, [5] and so I returned to
my habit of delighting in our Lord, particularly at Communion.
I wish I could have His picture and image always before my eyes,
since I cannot have Him graven in my soul as deeply as I wish.
5. Is it possible, O my Lord, that I could have had the thought,
if only for an hour, that Thou couldst be a hindrance to my
greatest good? Whence are all my blessings? are they not from
Thee? I will not think that I was blamable, for I was very sorry
for it, and it was certainly done in ignorance. And so it
pleased Thee, in Thy goodness, to succour me, by sending me one
who has delivered me from this delusion; and afterwards by
showing Thyself to me so many times, as I shall relate
hereafter, [6] that I might clearly perceive how great my
delusion was, and also tell it to many persons; which I have
done, as well as describe it as I am doing now. I believe myself
that this is the reason why so many souls, after advancing to the
prayer of union, make no further progress, and do not attain to
very great liberty of spirit.
6. It seems to me, that there are two considerations on which I
may ground this opinion. Perhaps I am saying nothing to the
purpose, yet what I say is the result of experience; for my soul
was in a very evil plight, till our Lord enlightened it: all its
joys were but sips; and when it had come forth therefrom, it
never found itself in that company which afterwards it had in
trials and temptations.
7. The first consideration is this: there is a little absence of
humility--so secret and so hidden, that we do not observe it.
Who is there so proud and wretched as I, that, even after
labouring all his life in penances and prayers and persecutions,
can possibly imagine himself not to be exceedingly rich, most
abundantly rewarded, when our Lord permits him to stand with
St. John at the foot of the cross? I know not into whose head it
could have entered to be not satisfied with this, unless it be
mine, which has gone wrong in every way where it should have gone
right onwards.
8. Then, if our constitution--or perhaps sickness--will not
permit us always to think of His Passion, because it is so
painful, who is to hinder us from thinking of Him risen from the
grave, seeing that we have Him so near us in the Sacrament, where
he is glorified, and where we shall not see Him in His great
weariness--scourged, streaming with blood, faint by the way,
persecuted by those to whom He had done good, and not believed in
by the Apostles? Certainly it is not always that one can bear to
meditate on sufferings so great as were those He underwent.
Behold Him here, before His ascension into heaven, without pain,
all-glorious, giving strength to some and courage to others.
In the most Holy Sacrament, He is our companion, as if it was not
in His power to withdraw Himself for a moment from us. And yet
it was in my power to withdraw from Thee, O my Lord, that I might
serve Thee better! It may be that I knew Thee not when I sinned
against Thee; but how could I, having once known Thee, ever think
I should gain more in this way? O Lord, what an evil way I took!
and I was going out of the way, if Thou hadst not brought me back
to it. When I see Thee near me, I see all good things together.
No trial befalls me that is not easy to bear, when I think of
Thee standing before those who judged Thee.
9. With so good a Friend and Captain ever present, Himself the
first to suffer, everything can be borne. He helps, He
strengthens, He never fails, He is the true Friend. I see
clearly, and since then have always seen, that if we are to
please God, and if He is to give us His great graces, everything
must pass through the hands of His most Sacred Humanity, in whom
His Majesty said that He is well pleased. [7] I know this by
repeated experience: our Lord has told it me. I have seen
clearly that this is the door [8] by which we are to enter, if we
would have His supreme Majesty reveal to us His great secrets.
10. So, then, I would have your reverence seek no other way, even
if you were arrived at the highest contemplation. This way is
safe. Our Lord is He by whom all good things come to us; He will
teach you. Consider His life; that is the best example. What
more can we want than so good a Friend at our side, who will not
forsake us when we are in trouble and distress, as they do who
belong to this world! Blessed is he who truly loves Him, and who
always has Him near him! Let us consider the glorious St. Paul,
who seems as if Jesus was never absent from his lips, as if he
had Him deep down in his heart. After I had heard this of some
great Saints given to contemplation, I considered the matter
carefully; and I see that they walked in no other way.
St. Francis with the stigmata proves it, St. Antony of Padua with
the Infant Jesus; St. Bernard rejoiced in the Sacred Humanity; so
did St. Catherine of Siena, and many others, as your reverence
knows better than I do.
11. This withdrawing from bodily objects must no doubt be good,
seeing that it is recommended by persons who are so spiritual;
but, in my opinion, it ought to be done only when the soul has
made very great progress; for until then it is clear that the
Creator must be sought for through His creatures. All this
depends on the grace which our Lord distributes to every soul.
I do not intermeddle here. What I would say is, that the most
Sacred Humanity of Christ is not to be counted among the objects
from which we have to withdraw. Let this be clearly understood.
I wish I knew how to explain it. [9]
12. When God suspends all the powers of the soul,--as we see He
does in the states of prayer already described,--it is clear
that, whether we wish it or not, this presence is withdrawn.
Be it so, then. The loss is a blessed one, because it takes
place in order that we may have a deeper fruition of what we seem
to have lost; for at that moment the whole soul is occupied in
loving Him whom the understanding has toiled to know; and it
loves what it has not comprehended, and rejoices in what it could
not have rejoiced in so well, if it had not lost itself, in
order, as I am saying, to gain itself the more. But that we
should carefully and laboriously accustom ourselves not to strive
with all our might to have always--and please God it be
always!--the most Sacred Humanity before our eyes,--this, I say,
is what seems to me not to be right: it is making the soul, as
they say, to walk in the air; for it has nothing to rest on, how
full soever of God it may think itself to be.
13. It is a great matter for us to have our Lord before us as Man
while we are living and in the flesh. This is that other
inconvenience which I say must be met with. The first--I have
already begun to describe it--is a little failure in humility, in
that the soul desires to rise of itself before our Lord raises
it, and is not satisfied with meditation on so excellent a
subject,--seeking to be Mary before it has laboured with Martha.
If our Lord will have a soul to be Mary, even on the first day,
there is nothing to be afraid of; but we must not be self-invited
guests, as I think I said on another occasion. [10] This little
mote of want of humility, though in appearance a mere nothing,
does a great deal of harm to those who wish to advance
in contemplation.
14. I now come back to the second consideration. We are not
angels, for we have a body; to seek to make ourselves angels
while we are on the earth, and so much on the earth as I was, is
an act of folly. In general, our thoughts must have something to
rest on, though the soul may go forth out of itself now and then,
or it may be very often so full of God as to be in need of no
created thing by the help of which it may recollect itself.
But this is not so common a case; for when we have many things to
do, when we are persecuted and in trouble, when we cannot have
much rest, and when we have our seasons of dryness, Christ is our
best Friend; for we regard Him as Man, and behold Him faint and
in trouble, and He is our Companion; and when we shall have
accustomed ourselves in this way, it is very easy to find Him
near us, although there will be occasions from time to time when
we can do neither the one nor the other.
15. For this end, that is useful which I spoke of before: [11] we
must not show ourselves as labouring after spiritual
consolations; come what may, to embrace the cross is the great
thing. The Lord of all consolation was Himself forsaken: they
left Him alone in His sorrows. Do not let us forsake Him; for
His hand will help us to rise more than any efforts we can make;
and He will withdraw Himself when He sees it be expedient for us,
and when He pleaseth will also draw the soul forth out of itself,
as I said before. [12]
16. God is greatly pleased when He beholds a soul in its humility
making His Son a Mediator between itself and Him, and yet loving
Him so much as to confess its own unworthiness, even when He
would raise it up to the highest contemplation, and saying with
St. Peter: [13] "Go Thou away from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful
man." I know this by experience: it was thus that God directed
my soul. Others may walk, as I said before, [14] by another and
a shorter road. What I have understood of the matter is this:
that the whole foundation of prayer must be laid in humility, and
that the more a soul humbles itself in prayer, the more God lifts
it up. I do not remember that He ever showed me any of those
marvellous mercies, of which I shall speak hereafter, [15] at any
other time than when I was as one brought to nothing, [16] by
seeing how wicked I was. Moreover, His Majesty contrived to make
me understand matters that helped me to know myself, but which I
could never have even imagined of myself.
17. I believe myself that if a soul makes any efforts of its own
to further itself in the way of the prayer of union, and though
it may seem to make immediate progress, it will quickly fall
back, because the foundations were not duly laid. I fear, too,
that such a soul will never attain to true poverty of spirit,
which consists in seeking consolation or sweetness, not in
prayer,--the consolations of the earth are already
abandoned,--but rather in sorrows, for the love of Him who always
lived in sorrows Himself; [17] and in being calm in the midst of
sorrows and aridities. Though the soul may feel it in some
measure, there is no disquiet, nor any of that pain which some
persons suffer, who, if they are not always labouring with the
understanding and with a sense of devotion, think everything
lost,--as if their efforts merited so great a blessing!
18. I am not saying that men should not seek to be devout, nor
that they should not stand with great reverence in the presence
of God, but only that they are not to vex themselves if they
cannot find even one good thought, as I said in another
place; [18] for we are unprofitable servants. [19] What do we
think we can do? Our Lord grant that we understand this, and
that we may be those little asses who drive the windlass I spoke
of: [20] these, though their eyes are bandaged, and they do not
understand what they are doing, yet draw up more water than the
gardener can draw with all his efforts. We must walk in liberty
on this road, committing ourselves into the hands of God. If it
be His Majesty's good pleasure to raise us and place us among His
chamberlains and secret councillors, we must go willingly; if
not, we must serve Him in the lower offices of His house, and not
sit down on the upper seats. [21] As I have sometimes said, [22]
God is more careful of us than we are ourselves, and knows what
each one of us is fit for.
19. What use is there in governing oneself by oneself, when the
whole will has been given up to God? I think this less endurable
now than in the first state of prayer, and it does much greater
harm; for these blessings are supernatural. If a man has a bad
voice, let him force himself ever so much to sing, he will never
improve it; but if God gives him a good voice, he has no need to
try it twice. Let us, then, pray Him always to show His mercy
upon us, with a submissive spirit, yet trusting in the goodness
of God. And now that the soul is permitted to sit at the feet of
Christ, let it contrive not to quit its place, but keep it
anyhow. Let it follow the example of the Magdalene; and when it
shall be strong enough, God will lead it into
the wilderness. [23]
20. You, then, my father, must be content with this until you
meet with some one of more experience and better knowledge than I
am. If you see people who are beginning to taste of God, do not
trust them if they think that they advance more, and have a
deeper fruition of God, when they make efforts of their own.
Oh, when God wills it, how He discovers Himself without these
little efforts of ours! We may do what we like, but He throws
the spirit into a trance as easily as a giant takes up a straw;
no resistance is possible. What a thing to believe, that God
will wait till the toad shall fly of itself, when He has already
willed it should do so! Well, it seems to me still more
difficult and hard for our spirit to rise upwards, if God does
not raise it, seeing that it is burdened with earth, and hindered
in a thousand ways. Its willingness to rise is of no service to
it; for, though an aptness for flying be more natural to it than
to a toad, yet is it so sunk in the mire as to have lost it by
its own fault.
21. I come, then, to this conclusion: whenever we think of
Christ, we should remind ourselves of the love that made Him
bestow so many graces upon us, and also how great that love is
which our Lord God has shown us, in giving us such a pledge of
the love He bears us; for love draws forth love. And though we
are only at the very beginning, and exceedingly wicked, yet let
us always labour to keep this in view, and stir ourselves up to
love; for if once our Lord grants us this grace, of having this
love imprinted in our hearts, everything will be easy, and we
shall do great things in a very short time, and with very little
labour. May His Majesty give us that love,--He knows the great
need we have of it,--for the sake of that love which He bore us,
and of His glorious Son, to whom it cost so much to make it known
to us! Amen.
22. There is one thing I should like to ask you, my father.
How is it that, when our Lord begins to bestow upon a soul a
grace so great as this of perfect contemplation, it is not, as it
ought to be, perfect at once? Certainly, it seems it should be
so; for he who receives a grace so great ought never more to seek
consolations on earth. How is it, I ask, that a soul which has
ecstasies and so far is more accustomed to receive graces, should
yet seem to bring forth fruits still higher and higher,--and the
more so, the more it is detached,--when our Lord might have
sanctified it at once, the moment He came near it? How is it, I
ask again, that the same Lord brings it to the perfection of
virtue only in the course of time? I should be glad to learn the
reason, for I know it not. I do know, however, that in the
beginning, when a trance lasts only the twinkling of an eye, and
is almost imperceptible but for the effects it produces, the
degree of strength which God then gives is very different from
that which He gives when this grace is a trance of
longer duration.
23. Very often, when thinking of this, have I imagined the reason
might be, that the soul does not despise itself all at once, till
our Lord instructs it by degrees, and makes it resolute, and
gives it the strength of manhood, so that it may trample utterly
upon everything. He gave this strength to the Magdalene in a
moment. He gives the same grace to others, according to the
measure of their abandonment of themselves into the hands of His
Majesty, that He may do with them as He will. We never thoroughly
believe that God rewards a hundredfold even in this life. [24]
24. I also thought of this comparison: supposing grace given to
those who are far advanced to be the same with that given to
those who are but beginners, we may then liken it to a certain
food of which many persons partake: they who eat a little retain
the savour of it for a moment, they who eat more are nourished by
it, but those who eat much receive life and strength. Now, the
soul may eat so frequently and so abundantly of this food of life
as to have no pleasure in eating any other food, because it sees
how much good it derives from it. Its taste is now so formed
upon it, that it would rather not live than have to eat any other
food; for all food but this has no other effect than to take away
the sweet savour which this good food leaves behind.
25. Further, the conversation of good people does not profit us
in one day as much as it does in many; and we may converse with
them long enough to become like them, by the grace of God.
In short, the whole matter is as His Majesty wills. He gives His
grace to whom He pleases; but much depends on this: he who begins
to receive this grace must make a firm resolution to detach
himself from all things, and esteem this grace according
to reason.
26. It seems also to me as if His Majesty were going about to try
those who love Him,--now one, now another,--revealing Himself in
supreme joy, so as to quicken our belief, if it should be dead,
in what He will give us, saying, Behold! this is but a drop of
the immense sea of blessings; for He leaves nothing undone for
those He loves; and as He sees them receive it, so He gives, and
He gives Himself. He loves those who love Him. Oh, how dear He
is!--how good a Friend! O my soul's Lord, who can find words to
describe what Thou givest to those who trust in Thee, and what
they lose who come to this state, and yet dwell in themselves!
Oh, let not this be so, O my Lord! for Thou doest more than this
when Thou comest to a lodging so mean as mine. Blessed be Thou
for ever and ever!
27. I now humbly ask you, my father, if you mean to discuss what
I have written on prayer with spiritual persons, to see that they
are so really; for if they be persons who know only one way, or
who have stood still midway, they will not be able to understand
the matter. There are also some whom God leads at once by the
highest way; these think that others might advance in the same
manner--quiet the understanding, and make bodily objects none of
their means; but these people will remain dry as a stick.
Others, also, there are who, having for a moment attained to the
prayer of quiet, think forthwith that, as they have had the one,
so they may have the other. These instead of advancing, go back,
as I said before. [25] So, throughout, experience and discretion
are necessary. May our Lord, of His goodness, bestow them on us!
1. See Inner Fortress, vi. 7, § 4.
2. This opinion is supposed to be justified by the words of
St. Thomas, 3 Sent. dist. 22, qu. 3, art. 1, ad quintum.
"Corporalis præsentia Christi in duobus poterat esse nociva.
Primo, quantum ad fidem, quia videntes Eum in forma in qua erat
minor Patre, non ita de facili crederent Eum æqualem Patri, ut
dicit glossa super Joannem. Secundo, quantum ad dilectionem,
quia Eum non solum spiritualiter, sed etiam carnaliter
diligeremus, conversantes cum Ipso corporaliter, et hoc est de
imperfectione dilectionis."
3. St. John xvi. 7: "Expedit vobis ut Ego vadam; si enim non
abiero, Paracletus non veniet ad vos."
4. This sentence is in the margin of the original MS., not in the
text, but in the handwriting of the Saint (De la Fuente).
5. "I mean by lately . . . and visions" is in the margin of the
MS., but in the handwriting of the Saint (De la Fuente).
6. Ch. xxviii. § 4.
7. St. Matt. iii. 17: "Hic est Filius Meus dilectus, in quo
Mihi complacui."
8. St. John x. 7, 9: "Ego sum ostium."
9. See St. John of the Cross, Mount Carmel,
bk. iii. ch. i. p. 212.
10. Ch. xii. §§ 5, 7.
11. Ch. xv. § 21.
12. Ch. xx. § 2.
13. St. Luke v. 8: "Exi a me, quia homo peccator sum, Domine."
14. Ch. xii. § 6.
15. Ch. xxviii.
16. Psalm lxxii. 22: "Et ego ad nihilum redactus sum,
et nescivi."
17. Isaias liii. 3: "Virum dolorum, et scientem infirmitatem."
18. Ch. xi. § 15.
19. St. Luke xvii. 10: "Servi inutiles sumus."
20. Ch. xi. § 11.
21. St. Luke xiv. 8: "Non discumbas in primo loco." See Way of
Perfection, ch. xxvi. § 1; but ch. xvii. of the old editions.
22. Ch. xi. § 23, ch. xviii. § 6.
23. Os. ii. 14: "Ducam eam in solitudinem."
24. St. Matt. xix. 29: "Qui reliquerit domum, . . .
centuplum accipiet."
25. Ch. xii. § 5.