There is only one Parish Council in England which is presided over
by a lady. Her name is JANE SHAKESPEARE, and she rules the parochial
deliberations of Netherseal in Leicestershire. No doubt it will be
found by her councillors that JANE hath a way with her, and thus she
will be brought into line with her illustrious namesake.
* * *
[At Gamlingay, in Cambridgeshire, Mr. DEW declined to
undertake the duties of cemetery superintendent for a salary
of £5, and Mr. HOWE was consequently appointed to the post.]
[Illustration]
Mr. DEW, when he heard of the offer, looked blue;
He considered a fiver was less than his due.
How do it? The question gave rise to no row,
For Miss Echo replied, and her answer was HOWE.
* * *
_Congratulations to Mr. F. Mitchell, of Cambridge University, on his
innings of_ 191 _runs against Somerset_.
The men of the county had studied their pitch ill;
They did what they could, but they couldn't bowl MITCHELL.
His masterly cutting the bowlers appals,
For the grass being short, he makes hay of their balls.
* * *
A writer in _The Manchester Guardian_ declares that the main road
between Bolton and Bury is in a shocking condition. What is the road
between Bolton and Bury? Bolton suggests that he who fights and runs
away lives to fight another day, but Bury seems to indicate a path of
glory leading to the grave--which things are a paradox. In any case, I
endorse the writer's suggestion--
That Alderman HULTON should harness his colt on,
And drive o'er the road between Bury and Bolton.
The chock-holes and paving are terrible--very,
And he may find his tomb e'er he comes back to Bury.
* * *
There was a gas explosion the other day in Dublin at the house of a
Mr. ATOCK. The report states that Mr. ATOCK'S injuries were dressed
and he and his family afterwards left for the house of Mr. ATOCK
senior, at Phibsborough. Ph[oe]bus, what a name! As the capital city
of the regions of, shall we say, perverted veracity, nothing could be
fitter. In any case, condolences to Mr. ATOCK. Is the Blarney stone in
Phibsborough?
* * *
What is "dockisation"? Whatever it is, they have been debating upon it
at Bristol, and the proceedings are described as "decidedly lively."
The protagonists were Mr. DE RIDDER and Alderman PROCTOR BAKER.
Dockisation, I think, is a question of docks,
And at Bristol it lately gave rise to hard knocks.
"Let's be rid of a scheme which is bad for the town,"
Said DE RIDDER, whose statements excited a frown.
But they smiled on beholding this argument-maker
By a Proctor well caught and done brown by a Baker.
* * * * *