["The original arrangements for NASRULLA KHAN'S reception
in London have undergone considerable alteration."--_Daily
Paper._]
"Of course we ought to act on precedent." said Wise Man Number One.
"We can't be far out if we do that."
"I am not so sure," replied Number Two of the Series. "When the SHAH
came over we gave him a prize-fight at Buckingham Palace, and the
entertainment subsequently caused much hostile criticism in Clapham."
"It is to be regretted," sighed the Third, "that the Polytechnic
Institution no longer exists. It would have amused his Highness to
have descended in the diving bell."
"No doubt," put in the initial speaker; "but something of the same
effect might be obtained by conducting NASRULLA either to the Museum
of Mines in Jermyn Street or the Diploma Gallery at Burlington House."
"Quite so. And what do you say to the Natural History Museum, and a
special visit in semi-state to the top of the Monument?"
This suggestion was well received. Then a trip to Kew, and a ride on
the Elephant at the Zoo were considered not unfavourably.
"Shall he go to any of the theatres?" was the next question.
"It may be a little dangerous to his morals if he understands
English," seemed to be the popular answer.
Then a visit to a music-hall under the immediate supervision of the
London County Council was proposed.
Then a Wise Man (less sage than the majority of his fellows) proposed
a little "slumming."
"He might visit the East End, and pass a night in a Casual Ward."
Fortunately for the honour of the British Empire the proposal was
negatived without the formality of a division.
"Could he be exhibited at a side show, either at Sydenham, Earl's
Court, or West Kensington?"
Again there was a shout of "No." The visit of the Representative of
the Ameer was not to be made a source of income to the Imperial, or,
if it came to that, any other Exchequer.
"Besides," said the initial speaker, "the British Public does not care
for paying for its raree-show. When we _do_ get hold of a native, we
like to find him on view free, gratis and for nothing."
Then it was agreed that NASRULLA should appear at the Queen's Birthday
Parade, and other "features" were discussed with animation.
"But what the KHAN will ultimately do, Sir," murmured an experienced
official at the conclusion of the confab, "only Time can show--with
the assistance of the Government."
* * * * *
A NEW TERROR.--Politics on the stage. In ENRY HAUTHOR JONES'S _Bauble
Shop_ at the Criterion we were taken into the House of Commons and got
somehow mixed up with Party Politics; but in _The Home Secretary_,
Mr. CARTON, it appears, has attempted to drag his audience, with Mr.
CHARLES WYNDHAM, into the inner circle of Parliamentary life. What
next? A debate on the Budget in Four Acts? Or shall we have, in five
Parliamentary Acts, with a Prologue and Epilogue, the Comedy with
a short Jonesian title called _Home Rule for Ireland: or, how the
O'Reillys, the Maguires, and the Kellys went into the Opposition
Lobby, and how one Government came in and the other went out, &c.
&c.?_ Save us from politics on the stage! There was just enough of the
political element in _Dora_ to give it a peculiar interest. But then
_Dora_ was written by VICTORIEN SARDOU.
* * * * *
ROYAL MILITARY TOURNAMENT.--The initials being "R. M. T." will _not_
be descriptive of the state of the seats in the Agricultural Hall
during the performance. The announcement will be "Are Quite Full," not
"R. _M. T._"
* * * * *
QUOTATION FOR LONDONER LAST WEEK, ON SEEING THE DUKE OF YORK IN PALL
MALL.--"I know that man, he comes from Sheffield."
* * * * *
THE NEW COINS.--It was announced that the reverse was to have been
altered. On the contrary, it is quite the reverse.
* * * * *
[Illustration: CLASSIC QUOTATIONS ILLUSTRATED.
(_For the Use of Schools._)