["Many of our men have certainly been got at."--_Walworth
Liberal Agent._]
"Got at," my boy? Well, that's a fack;
Yet not by LANSBURY, READE, or BAILEY.
But by the burdens on our back,
As seem a-gettin' heavier daily.
Trade's bloomin' bad, and rents is high;
Yet more and more the Guv'ment axes.
Progress, old man, is all my heye,--
As means raised rents, and rates, and taxes.
School Boards, Free Liberies, an' such,
With County Council schemes, _look_ proper;
When they _too_ 'ard poor pockets touch
On them the poor _must_ put a stopper.
Fust we 'ave got to live, I say;
To pay our way, and grub our young 'uns.
Will Rads make that more easier, hay,
Than wot you call "Bible and Bung'uns"?
By Jingo, if you want our wotes,
You'll git 'em, not by playing peeper,
Or wetoing beer from our poor throats;
But--making life easier and cheaper!
_Got at?_ Wy, yus, by want o' grub,
And rents an' taxes too extensive;
And so we'll weto--_not_ the Pub,
_But "Progress" wot comes too expensive!_
* * * * *
PARTIES IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.--Besides the usual number of parties,
there will always be, during the fine summer weather, Tea-parties.
* * * * *
CONTRADICTION.--Tremendous "Crushing Reports" come in from the mines,
and, in spite of this, mining shares are better than ever.
* * * * *
[Illustration: HERCULES AND OMPHALE; OR, PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT.
_Hercules_ (_Prince Bismarck_). "I BELIEVE THAT FEMALE SYMPATHY WITH
OUR POLITICAL INSTITUTIONS IS A MUCH STRONGER BULWARK AGAINST SOCIAL
DEMOCRACY THAN OUR REVOLUTION BILL WOULD HAVE BEEN IF IT HAD BEEN
PASSED." (_See Daily Papers._)]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _New Assistant_ (_after hair-cutting, to Jones, who
has been away for a couple of weeks_). "YOUR 'AIR IS VERY THIN BE'IND,
SIR. TRY SINGEING!"
_Jones_ (_after a pause_). "YES, I THINK I WILL."
_N. A._ (_after singeing_). "SHAMPOO, SIR? GOOD FOR THE 'AIR, SIR."
_Jones._ "THANK YOU. YES."
_N. A._ "YOUR MOUSTACHES CURLED?"
_Jones._ "PLEASE."
_N. A._ "MAY I GIVE YOU A FRICTION?"
_Jones._ "THANK YOU."
_N. A._ "WILL YOU TRY SOME OF OUR----"
_Manager_ (_who has just sighted his man, in Stage whisper_). "YOU
IDIOT! _HE_'S A SUBSCRIBER!!"]
* * * * *