CHAPTER XXVIII--SUE DOES NOT SEND FOR PETER

|THE familiar person of the Worm came in through the bar, stood in the

doorway, looked about with quiet keen eyes--tall, carelessly dressed,

sandy of hair but mild and reflective of countenance.

The Worm's eyes rested on Peter. He came across the room.

“Sit down,” said Peter, smiling, his mouth a curving crack in a ghastly

face.

“Oh,” said the Worm, “you've heard?”

“Heard what?”

The Worm studied him a moment; then said, not without a touch of grave

sympathy, “Tell me, Pete--do you happen to know where Sue is?”

Peter heard this; tried to steady himself and speak in the properly

casual tone. He swallowed. Then the words rushed out--low, trembling,

all bitterness: “She's up-stairs--with Zanin!”

The Worm turned away. Peter caught his arm. “For God's sake!” he said.

“What is it? What do you want of her? If anybody's got to tell her

anything, it'll be me!” And he pushed back his chair.

The Worm laid a strong hand on his shoulder, held him firmly down in the

chair.

“Pete,” he said--quiet, deliberate--“if you try to go up those stairs I

myself will throw you down.”

Peter struggled a little. “But--but--good God! Who do you think you are!

You mean to say--” He stopped short, stared up at the Worm, swallowed

again. Then, “I get you!” he said. “I get you! Like the damn fool I am,

I never dreamed. So you're after her, too. You, with your books,

your fine disinterestedness, your easy friendly ways--you're out for

yourself, behind that bluff, just like the rest of us!”

The Worm glanced about the room. Neither had raised his voice. No one

was giving them any particular attention. He relaxed his grip of Peter's

arm; dropped into the chair opposite; leaned over the table on folded

arms; fixed his rather compelling eyes on Peter's ashen face.

“Pete,” he said, very quiet, very steady, “listen to me carefully. And

don't spill any paranoia tonight. If you do--if you start anything like

that crazy fight at the Muscovy--I'll take a hand myself. Now sit quiet

and try to hear what I say.”

Peter was still swallowing. The Worm went steadily on. “A neighbor of

the Wilde's just now called up the apartment. They thought they might

get Hy Lowe to find Sue and fetch her home. But Hy-”

“He's--” began Peter.

“Yes, I saw him. He's outside here. He wants to sit on the curbstone and

read the evening paper. A couple of chauffeurs were reasoning with him

when I came in. I'm going to find her myself.”

“But what's happened! You--”

“Her father has taken poison. They think he is dying. His wife went

right to pieces. Everything a mess--and two young children. They hadn't

even got the doctor in when this man telephoned. He thinks the old boy

is gone.”

“But--but--that's absurd! It couldn't act so quickly!”

The Worm stared; his face set perceptibly. “It has acted. He didn't take

the bichloride route. He drank carbolic.”

“But that--that's awful!”

“Yes, it's awful. There's a newspaper man there, raising hell. They

can't get him out--or couldn't. Now keep this straight--if you go one

step up those stairs or if you try to come out and speak to Sue before I

get her away, I'll break your head.”

“She'll send for me,” said Peter, sputtering.

“Perhaps,” observed Henry Bates; and swiftly left the room.

Sue Wilde returned from her brief interview with Peter. Two or three

groups of early diners greeted her as she passed.

Jacob Zanin watched her--her brisk little nod and quiet smile for these

acquaintances, her curiously boylike grace, the fresh tint of her olive

skin. She was a bit thin, he thought; her hard work as principal actress

in the Nature Film, coupled with the confusion he knew she had passed

through during that brief wild engagement to Peter Mann, had worn her

down.

She had always puzzled him. She puzzled him now, as she resumed her

seat, met his gaze, said: “Jacob, give me a cigarette.”

“Sue--you're off them.”

“While the film job was on. Breaking training now, Jacob.”

“Well,” he mused aloud, “I made you stop for good reason enough. But

now I'm not sure that you're not wise.” And he tossed his box across the

table.

While she lighted the cigarette, he studied her.

None knew better than he the interesting variety of girls who came to

the Village to seek freedom--some on intense feministic principles (Sue

among these), others in search of the nearly mythical country called

Buhemia, still others in the knowledge that there they might walk

unquestioned without the cap of good repute. There were cliques and

cliques in the Village; but all were in agreement regarding a freedom

for woman equal to the experimental freedom of man. Love was admitted as

a need. The human race was frankly a welter of animals struggling upward

in the long process of evolution--struggling wonderfully. Conventional

morality was hypocrisy and therefore a vice. Frankness regarding all

things, an open mind toward any astonishing new theory in the psychology

of the human creature, the divine right of the ego to realize itself

at all costs, a fine scorn for all proverbial wisdom, something near

a horror of the home, the church, and the practical business world--a

blend of these was the Village, to be summed up, perhaps, in Waters

Coryell's languid remark: “I find it impossible to talk with any one who

was born before 1880.”

Zanin had known many women. In his own way he had loved not a few. With

these he had been hard, but not dishonest. He was a materialist, an

anarchist, a self-exploiter, ambitious and unrestrained, torn within by

the overmastering restlessness that was at once the great gift and the

curse of his blood. He wanted always something else, something more. He

was strong, fertile of mind, able. He had vision and could suffer. The

companionship of a woman--here and there, now and then--meant much to

him; but he demanded of her that she give as he would give, without

sacrifice of work or self, without obligation. Nothing but what the

Village terms “the free relation” was possible for Zanin. Within his

peculiar emotional range he had never wanted a woman as he had wanted

Sue. He had never given himself to another woman, in energy and

companionship, as he had given himself to her.

She had eluded him. She had also eluded Peter. Zanin was capable of

despising young women who talked freedom but were afraid to live it.

There were such; right here in the Village there were such. But he did

not think Sue's case so simple as that. He spoke out now:

“Been thinking you over, Sue.”

She deposited the ash of her cigarette on a plate, glanced gravely up at

him, then lowered her eyes again.

“Any result, Jacob?”

“You haven't found yourself.”

“That's right,” said she, “I haven't. Have you found me?”

He slowly shook his head. “I think you're doomed to grope for a while

longer. I believe you have a good deal to find--more than some. You

remember a while back when I urged you to take a trip with me?”

She did not lift her eyes at this; merely gazed thoughtfully down at her

cigarette. He went on:

“I thought I could help you. I thought you needed love. It seemed to be

the next thing for you.”

“Yes,” said she rather shortly--“you told me that.”

“Well, I was wrong. Or my methods were. Something, I or some force,

stirred you and to a bad result. You turned from me toward marriage.

That plan was worse.”

She seemed about to protest; looked up now, threw out her hands.

“At least,” he pressed on, “as a plan, it didn't carry.”

Her fine brows drew together perceptibly. “That's over, Jacob.”

“All right.” He settled back in his chair and looked about the lung

room. It was filling rapidly. There were long hair and flowing ties,

evening suits, smart gowns, bright lights, gay talk in two tongues, and

just now, music. “Tell me this much, Sue. What are you up to? There's no

more Crossroads, no more Nature Film--lord, but that was a job! No more

of that absurd engagement. This is why I dragged you out to-night. I'm

wondering about you. What are you doing?”

“Jacob,” she said, “I'm drifting.”

“I heard you were trying to write.”

“Trying--yes! A girl has to appear to be doing something.”

“No plans at all, eh?”

She met this with silent assent.

Again he looked about the sprightly room; deliberately thinking. Once

she glanced up at him; then waited.

“Sue,” he said, “I think I see you a little more clearly. If I'm wrong,

correct me. You have an unusual amount of strength--or something. I

don't know what it is. I'll fall back on the safe old word, personality.

You've got plenty of intelligence. And your stage work, your

dancing--you're gifted as all get-out. But you're like clockwork, you're

no good unless your mainspring is working. You have to be wound up.”

For the first time in this talk Sue's green-brown eyes lighted. She

leaned over the table now and spoke with a flash of feeling.

“That's it, I believe,” she said. “I've got to feel deeply--about

something. I've got to have a religion.”

“Exactly, Sue. There's a fanatical strain in you. You came into

the Village life fresh from college with a whole set of brand-new

enthusiasms. Fanatical enthusiasms. The attitude toward life that most

of us take for granted--like it, feel it, just because it is us--you

came at us like a wild young Columbus. You hadn't always believed it.”

“I always resented parental authority,” said she. “Yes, I know. I'm not

sure your revolt wasn't more a personal reaction than a social theory.

They tried to tie you down. Your father--well, the less said about him

the letter. Preaching that old, old, false stuff, commercializing it,

stifling your growth.”

“Don't let's discuss him, Jacob.”

“Very good. But the home was a conspiracy against you. His present wife

isn't your mother, you told me once.”

“No, she isn't my mother.”

“Well”--he paused, thinking hard--“look here, Sue, what in thunder are

you to do! You're no good without that mainspring, that faith.”

She was silent, studying the table between them--silent, sober, not

hostile. Life was not a joyous crusade; it was a grim dilemma. And an

insistent pressure. She knew this now. The very admiration she felt for

this strong man disarmed her in resisting him. He told the bald

truth. She had fought him away once, only to involve herself with the

impossible Peter; an experience that now left her the weaker before

him. He knew this, of course. And he was a man to use every resource

in getting what he wanted. There was little to object to in him, if you

accepted him at all. And she had accepted him. As in a former crisis

between them, he made her feel a coward.

“It brings me back to the old topic, Sue. I could help you, if you could

let me. You have fought love down. You tried to compromise on marriage.

Nothing in that. Better live your life, girl! You've got to keep on. You

can't conceivably marry Peter; you can't drift along here without a

spark alight in you, fighting life; you can't go back home, licked. God

knows you can't do that! Give me a chance Sue. Try me. Stop this crazy

resistance to your own vital needs. Damn it, be human!”

Sue, lips compressed, eyes misty, color rising a little, looked up,

avoided Zanin's eyes; gazed as he had been doing, about the room. And

coming in through the wide door she saw the long figure of Henry Bates,

whom friends called the Worm. She watched him, compressing her lips a

little more, knitting her brows, while he stood looking from table to

table. His calm face, unassertive, reflective, whimsical in the slight

squint of the eyes, was deeply reassuring. She was fond of Henry Bates.

He came across the room; greeted Zanin briefly; gripped Sue's hand.

“Sit down, Henry,” said she.

He stood a moment, considering the two of them, then took the chair a

waiter slid forward.

“I'm here on a curious mission, Sue,” he said. She felt the touch of

solemnity in his voice and gave him a quick glance. “I've been sent to

find you.”

“What”--said she, all nerves--“what has happened?”

“An accident At your home, Sue. They believe that your father is dying.

He has asked for you. It was a neighbor who called--a Mr. Deems--and

from what little he could tell me I should say that you are needed

there.”

Her hands moved nervously; she threw them out in the quick way she had

and started to speak; then giving it up let them drop and pushed back

her chair. For the moment she seemed to see neither man: her gaze went

past them; her mouth twitched.

Zanin sat back, smoked, looked from one to the other. He was suddenly

out of it. He had never known a home, in Russia or America. There was

something between Henry Rates and Sue Wilde, a common race memory, a

strain in their spiritual fiber that he did not share; something he

could not even guess at. Whatever it was he could see it gripping her,

touching and rousing hidden depths. So much her face told him. He kept

silent.

She turned to him now. “You'll excuse me, Jacob?” she said, very quiet.

“You're going, then?” said he. He was true to his creed. There was no

touch of conventional sentiment in his voice. He had despised everything

her father's life meant; he despised it now.

“Yes,” she said, and nodded with sudden nervous energy--a rising

color in her cheeks, her head erect, shoulders stiffened, a flash in her

eyes--such a flash as no one had seen there for a long time--“Yes, I'm

going--home.”

Zanin sat alone, looking after them as they walked quietly out of the

restaurant. He lighted a fresh cigarette, deliberately blew out the

match, stared at it as if it had been a live thing, then flicked it over

his shoulder with a snap of his thumb.

The Trufflers: A Story · 第 28 / 39 章