Practical joking has become popular in Brussels since the German
occupation. "Everybody's doing it"--amongst the Bruxellois, that
is. A prohibition was lately placed upon the use of motor-cars by
the civil population, and orders were issued for the enforcement of
dire penalties in cases of disobedience. One afternoon a couple of
German officers were seated in a _café_ discussing mugs of beer with
that portentous solemnity which the Teutonic mind finds proper to
such an occasion, when a loud "Honk, honk!" the unmistakable blast
of a motor-horn, was heard in the street outside. Forth dashed the
officers, indignant at this flagrant transgression of orders, but when
they reached the pavement no car was there. None was even in sight
upon the whole length of the boulevard, though the sound of the horn
had been close at hand. Crestfallen, the representatives of law and
order--Prussian style--returned to their beer-mugs, but were hardly
seated when again the loud "Honk, honk!" fell upon their ears, and
again they dashed into the street, with the same result. Convinced that
some impudent guttersnipe must be playing a trick, they questioned the
nearest sentry. But the latter had seen neither car nor urchin; he
had not even heard the mysterious sound, he averred, and the baffled
officers began almost to doubt their ears. But the smile on the face of
the Belgian proprietor of the _café_ was suspicious.
Fresh mugs of beer were requisitioned, but the very first "Prosit" was
interrupted by the malevolent "Honk, honk!" With froth-flecked lips
that gave them an aspect admirably suited to their mood, the enraged
officers set down the mugs with a bang and once more strode forth in
quest of the miscreant. Once more a perfectly empty street met their
gaze. But even as they scowled abroad, a mocking "Honk, honk!" sounded,
this time just above their heads. The listeners started and looked up,
to see a green parrot in a cage upon the window-sill above regarding
them imperturably with a beady inscrutable eye. So flagrant a case
of _lèse majesté_ could not be overlooked, and the green parrot was
executed.
But even in his murders the Boche lacks a sense of proportion, which
is, of course, merely another way of saying that he has no sense
of humor. To the martyrdom of the parrot must be added that of two
luckless pigeons whose sole crime against the Deutches Reich was that
of being born after a certain date. It was decreed soon after the
occupation of Brussels that all owners of pigeons must notify the
authorities the number of birds which they possessed. Amongst those
complying with the order was a certain shopkeeper who kept a pair
of pigeons as pets. They were not of the carrier variety, and he was
allowed to retain them. But pigeons are notoriously domesticated
creatures, and presently an interesting event occurred in the
establishment of this happy couple. A couple of squabs were hatched
out. These duly assumed down, which in turn became feathers, and
presently there were four pigeons where formerly had been but two. At
this stage a German official, armed with a registration list, paid a
visit of inspection. He noted the well-preened quartette, and referred
to his papers. Then he frowned ominously.
"On such and such a date you registered two pigeons."
"That is so," was the answer. "Since then----"
"But you have four there."
"Quite true. You are----"
"But you are only entitled to have two."
"A thousand pardons, mein Herr. But one cannot interfere with Nature.
My two pigeons, you see----"
"If you registered two only, you cannot be allowed to have four. It is
self-evident."
It is needless to repeat the colloquy at length. Though that
explanations were cut short, refused a hearing. No German official
was ever known to "use his discretion"; that is a prerogative of the
muddle-headed British. The list had _two_ pigeons; here were _four_.
Obviously there was only one course to be taken. The abundant pigeons
shared the fate of the indiscreet parrot.
Next day there appeared suspended in the mourning owner's shop-window
two feathered corpses adorned with this pathetic placard:--
MORTS
POUR LA PATRIE!