(_With humble apologies to THACKERAY._)
WILSON had a love for Charlotte
That impelled him to address her
(Charlotte was a town, and WILSON
Was a famous ex-Professor).
So upon the War in Europe
He delivered an oration,
Darkly hinting at the problems
Calling for elucidation.
As reported in the papers,
He discussed the situation
With Olympian detachment
And conspicuous moderation.
But the wireless WOLFF discovered
In his words a declaration
Of his laudable intention
To proceed to mediation.
Thus the speech, which cost good WILSON
Many hours of toil and trouble,
From a sober cautious statement
Turned into a Berlin bubble.
Charlotte, having heard the lecture,
Ignorant of what was brewing,
Like a well-conducted city
Went on innocently chewing.
* * * * *
"The water in the South-West Norfolk Fens has now subsided about
6 in. Two 6 ft. openings have been cut in the river bank near
the Southery engine to let the water flow into the river. Two
temporary slackers have been put in the openings, so that they
can be closed when the tide is higher in the river."
_Provincial Paper._
They might just as well have been put into the trenches.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Orderly Officer._ "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITHOUT YOUR RIFLE,
SENTRY?"
_Tommy._ "BEG PARDON, SIR, BUT I AIN'T THE SENTRY."
_Orderly Officer._ "WHO ARE YOU, THEN, AND WHERE IS THE SENTRY?"
_Tommy._ "OH, 'E'S INSIDE OUT OF THE RAIN. _I'M_ ONE OF THE PRISONERS."]
* * * * *