P.S. After readin this letter over I tho't I'd better wise you up on
that date me and Skinny had with the pudding sisters at the canteen
last nite. Women are so suspicious you know. I ment we went down to
the canteen to get some puddin, rice and tapioca.
"B."
[Illustration: She would run and ketch up with the hed of the
perseshun]
Dere Julie:
Your last lovin letter was rec'd by your little bright eyes in a
quaint old burg in viva la France, just back of where the Yanks are
making soup strainers of William the Twicer's boobs by punchin them
in the kitchen with that "wooden sword of America." You know Julie,
that story that the Emp has been jabbing them in the arm with about
"America couldn't fite if she would, and wouldn't if she could,"
and tellin em also about Germany's "submarines sinking all the Yanks
transports etcery etcery." If Bill keeps this up very long they will
nickname him Barnum.
Speaking of William the Twospot, reminds me of what one of our boys,
which was taken prisoner and escaped, wuz telling about what the Emp
said when he saw so many of our boys on the front at Chato Theiry;
sendin fer some of his generals he deemanded they tell him what boat
brung all them Yanks over. One of 'em piped up and sed "I think, yer
Majesty it was the Lusitania." Being German, it went over his bed like
a air ship.
The way things are goin now, it looks as if William the Twicer is
gonna have a great future behind him: Skinny sez the Klown Quince and
his army reminds him very much of his (Skinny's) brother who went out
west and made twenty Indians run--but the Indians couldn't ketch him.
Believe you me derie, the Boches are running faster than the color
in a 19 ct. pair of stockins. They are hot footin it faster than the
train that I left for camp on pulled out of Grand Central Station; and
that pulled out so fast that when I tried to kiss you from the window
when she started, I kissed a cow ten miles away.
Well Julie dere, I miss you much believe you me. I'd rather see you
just about now than a messenger with the news that piece has been
sined; of course there's a lot of nice girls hear amung the Red X
Nurses and Y workers, but there's so many officers and gold braids
round that fellers like us dont get any more show than a dollar at a
church fair.
[Illustration: Speakin' of William the Two-spot]
We're up now to where we can hear the noise of the big 75's as they
pound the Boches from their trenches and have gotten so used to it
that we can't sleep without it. Every once in a while we see the
ambulances comin in, and a lot of the boys have to be watched to
keep em from trying to beat it back into the trenches again. We heard
yesterday Julie, about a detachment who went over the top and the
commanding officer told em not to go beyond a certain objective during
the first half hour; when the half hour was up they wuz a half mile
beyond the objective. When the major of the battalion bawled out the
company commander, he yelled back at him "H---- if the Crown Prince's
men couldn't stop 'em what chance had I to stop 'em?" That's whats
winning this hi' ol' scrap Julie--we hit em first and apologise
afterward.
Some of our boys was sayin to-day that they thought the war would soon
be over, and when I ast Skinny about it, he allowed as how that meant
fer single guys only; that the war would go on fer married men just
the same. Corporal Louie Heinlein sez that song "Here cums the
bride is the greatest battle song of all" and Louie has had a lot of
experience with "Janes." But with you and me Julie dere, that will be
sumpin else again.
Yours till people keep their New Year's resolutions until Valentines
day,