"Where once we dwelt our name is heard no more,
Children not thine 'may tread' my nurseryfloor."
COWPER.
The way of life at Fern Torr parsonage was so quiet as to afford few
subjects for narration. Mrs. Wortley was a gentle, sensible person, very
fond of Marian and Gerald, both for their own sake and their mother's,
and to be with her was to them as like being at home as anything could
be. Agnes was quite wrapped up in her friend, whom she pitied so
heartily, and was to lose so soon. She had known no troubles except
through Marian, she reverenced Marian's griefs, and in her respect for
them was inclined to spoil her not a little. Then, through nothing
against the Lyddells had ever been said to Agnes, she had caught
all Marian's prejudiced dislike to them, and sometimes in lively
exaggeration, sometimes in grave condolence, talked of them "as these
horrid people."
Marian felt every day was precious as it passed, and the time seemed to
her far less than two months, when one day there arrived a letter from
Mrs. Lyddell to announce that the family were about to leave London, and
in the course of a week Mr. Lyddell would come to fetch her and Gerald
to Oakworthy.
The letter was kindly expressed, but this was lost upon Marian in the
pain its purport gave her, and the difficulty of composing an answer.
She chose her smallest sheet of writing-paper with the deepest black
edge, wrote as widely as she could, and used the longest words, but with
all Mrs. Wortley's suggestions, she could not eke out what she had to
say beyond the first page. She would not even send her love to her
cousins, for she said she could have no particular affection for them,
and to express any pleasure in the prospect of seeing so many strangers
would be an actual untruth.
What a week was that which followed! Marian loved her home with that
enthusiasm which especially belongs to the inhabitants of mountainous
districts, and still more acutely did she feel the separation from all
that reminded her of her parents. If she had not had Gerald to go with
her she did not know how she could have borne it, but Gerald, her own
beautiful brother, with his chestnut curls, dark bright eyes, sweet
temper, and great cleverness and goodness, he must be a comfort to her
wherever she was. Gerald was one of those children who seem to have a
peculiar atmosphere of bright grace and goodness around them, who make
beautiful earnest sayings in their simplicity which are treasured up by
their friends, who, while regarding them with joy and something like
veneration, watch them likewise with fear and trembling. Thus had his
mother looked upon Gerald, and thus in some degree did Mrs. Wortley; but
Marian had nothing but pride, joy, and confidence in him, unalloyed save
now and then by the secret, half superstitious fear that such goodness
might mark him for early death.
By Marian's own especial desire, she went to almost every cottage to
take leave, but all she could do was to stand with her head averted and
her lips compressed, while Mrs. Wortley spoke for her. Her next task was
to look over the boxes and drawers at the manor house, in case it should
be let; for no one else could be trusted to decide what hoards of highly
prized trifles should be locked up, and what must be thrown away. She
alone could choose the little keepsakes to be given to old servants and
village friends, and she must select what she would take to Oakworthy.
She stood lingering before each picture, viewing the old familiar
furniture with loving eyes, and sighing at the thought that strangers
would alter the arrangements, look carelessly or critically on her
father's portrait, think her wild garden a collection of weeds, and root
up the flowering fern which Edmund had helped her to transplant. She
went into her own room, and felt almost ready to hate the person who
might occupy it; she lay down on the bed, and looking up at the same
branch of lime tree, and the same piece of sky which had met her eyes
every morning, she mused there till she was roused by hearing Gerald's
voice very loud in the nursery. Hastening thither, she found him
insisting that his collection of stones and spars was much too precious
to mend the roads with, as their maid Saunders proposed, and Agnes
settling the matter satisfactorily by offering to take them to adorn a
certain den in the vicarage garden with. The ponies were to be turned
out to grass, the rabbits were bestowed on James Wortley, and Ranger
was to be kept at the vicarage till Edmund could come and fetch him,
together with his books, which Marian had to look out, and she found it
a service of difficulty, since "Edmund Gerald" could scarcely be said to
answer the purpose of a proper name in the Arundel family.
The last day at home arrived, the eve of S. James. Marian went to
prepare her class at the weekly school, resolved to do just as usual to
the last. She had to read them the conversation on S. James's Day in
"Fasts and Festivals," but she could hardly get through with it, the
separation between early friends reminded her so much of herself and
Agnes, and then the comparison of the two roads, one in burning and
scorching sunshine, the other in the cool fresh shade, almost overset
her, for though she could not tell why, she chose to be persuaded that
the first must be hers. But they both ended in the same place. She felt
tears coming into her eyes, but she kept them down, and went on reading
in a steady monotonous voice, as if the meaning was nothing to her; she
asked the children questions in a dry, grave, matter-of-fact way, as if
she had not the slightest interest in them or in the subject, though her
heart was full of affection to the dullest and roughest among them, and
when she went away, her nod, and "well, good morning," to the school
mistress were several shades further from warmth than usual.
All the way back from the school she was eagerly telling Agnes exactly
the point where she left each child in her class, and begging her to
say the kind things which she meant to have said to Grace Knight, the
mistress.
Agnes laughed and said, "I hope she will take my word for it all. Why
could you not speak to her? At least I thought you were not afraid of
her."
"I don't know," said Marian. "I thought I could, but it is very odd. You
see, Agnes, how it is; the more I care, the more I can't speak, and I
can't help it."
"Well, don't be unhappy about it," said Agnes. "I know what you mean,
and am ready to take you as you are, and if other people don't, it is
their own fault."
Agnes was rather too fond of Marian to be exactly right here, for it was
not at all a good thing that she should be encouraged in a reserve which
led her not always to do as she would be done by.
The two girls came in, lingered in each other's rooms while they
dressed, and at last were called down stairs by Mrs. Wortley, who was
ready to finish with them the last chapter of the book they had been
reading aloud together. Gerald sat in the window, his friend Jemmy
hanging over him, and the two together composing a marvellous
battlepiece, in which Gerald drew horses, men, cannon, and arrows, and
Jemmy, like a small Homer, suggested the various frightful wounds they
should be receiving, and the attitudes in which they should fall. The
general, with a tremendous Turkish sabre, an immense cocked hat, and
a horse with very stiff legs, was just being represented receiving an
unfortunate-looking prisoner, considerably spotted with vermillion
paint, when a sound of wheels was heard, and both boys starting up,
exclaimed, "Here he comes!"
He, as Marian knew full well, was Mr. Lyddell; and a chilliness came
over her as he entered, tall, broad, ruddy, treading heavily, and
speaking loudly: and Gerald pressed close to her, squeezing her hand
so tight that she could hardly withdraw it to shake hands with her
guardian. With one hand he held her cold reluctant fingers, with the
other gave Gerald's head a patronizing pat. "Well, my dears, how d'ye
do? quite well? and ready to start with me to-morrow? That is right.
Caroline and Clara have had their heads full of nothing but you this
long time--only wanted to have come with me."
Here Marian succeeded in drawing back her hand, and retreated to the
window; Gerald was creeping after her, but Mr. Lyddell laid hold of his
chin, and drew him back, saying. "What, shy, my man? we shall cure you
at Oakworthy My boys will give you no peace if they see you getting into
your sister's pocket."
Gerald disengaged himself, and made a rapid retreat. It was a long time
before he again appeared, and when Mrs. the housekeeper at the Manor
House, came down in the course of the evening to say good-bye, she said,
"And ma'am, where do you think I found that dear child, Sir Gerald, not
two hours ago?" She wiped away a gush of tears, and went on. "I thought
I heard a noise in the drilling room, and went to see, and there, ma'am,
was the dear little fellow lying on the floor, the bare boards, for the
carpet is taken up, you know, Miss Marian, before his papa's picture,
crying and sobbing as if his heart would break. But as soon as I opened
the door, and he saw me, he snatched up his hat, and jumped out at the
open window, which he had come in by, I suppose, for I never heard him
open the door."
Marian, after her usual fashion, had no reply, but it was pleasant to
her to think of what had taken place, since Gerald had not in general
shown much concern at the leaving home.
They all met at breakfast next morning; Marian, was firmly determined
against crying, and by dint of squeezing up her lips, and not uttering a
word, succeeded in keeping her resolution; but poor Agnes could eat no
breakfast, and did nothing but cry, till Mr. Lyddell, by saying that her
tears were a great honour both to herself and Marian, entirely checked
them.
"I hope," said Mr. Wortley, "that Mrs. Lyddell will not be very strict
in inquiring into the quantity of Marian's idle correspondence. The
friends there mean to console themselves with multitudes of letters."
"Oh, certainly, certainly," said Mr. Lyddell. "Old friends for ever! So
mind, Marian, I mean to be very angry if you forget to write to Miss
Wortley."
"Thank you," said Marian, knowing that she was saying something silly,
and trying to smile.
"Come, then," said Mr. Lyddell, "thank your friends once more for their
kindness, and let us be going."
Thanks from Marian were out of the question, and she tried to get out
of hearing of the sentences beginning, "I am sure we shall always be
sensible," "Nothing could be kinder," which her guardian was pouring
out. She moved with Agnes to the door: the summer sky was deeply blue,
without a cloud, the fresh green branches of the trees stood up against
it as if bathed in light, the flower beds were glowing with gay
blossoms, Gerald and Jemmy were playing with Ranger under the verandah,
and the Church bells rang cheerfully for morning service, but alas! at
the gate was the carriage, Saunders sitting sobbing on the outside,
and David Chapple, Mr. Wortley's man, standing on one leg on the step
talking to her. Near at hand was the gardener from the Manor House,
waiting with his hands full of Miss Arundel's favourite flowers, and
there stood old Betty Lapthorn and her grandchild, Gerald's nurse who
had married, and the old man to whom the children had so often carried
the remains of their dinner; all the school children too, and Grace in
the middle of them, waiting for the last view of Miss Arundel and little
Sir Gerald.
Mr. Lyddell finished his acknowledgments, and Marian and her brother
received an embrace and good-bye from their friends, David jumped down
and shut the door, Saunders sobbed aloud, there was another good-bye
from each of the Wortleys, and a hearty response from Gerald, Mr.
Lyddell called out, "All right," and away they went.
On went the carriage, past the Church, with its open door and pealing
bell, the rocky steps up to the Manor House, nestled in the shrubs, the
well known trees, the herds of longhorned, red cattle, the grey stone
cottages, and the women and tiny children at the doors, the ford through
the sparkling shallow brook, the hill with the great limestone quarry,
the kiln so like a castle, the river and its bridge of one narrow, high
pitched, ivy grown arch, the great rod rock, remembered as having been
the limit of papa's last drive, the farm house in the winding valley
beyond, with its sloping orchard and home field, the last building in
the parish. They drove through the little market town, slowly wound up
the heights beyond, looked down into the broad, beautiful space where
the river Exe winds its blue course amid wood, field, and castled hill,
descended, losing sight of the last of the Torrs, glanced at Exeter and
its Cathedral, arrived at the station, and there, while waiting hand in
hand on the platform, gazing at the carriage, and starting at each puff,
snort, cough, and shriek of the engines, Marian and Gerald did indeed
feel themselves severed from the home of their childhood.
It was not till the afternoon that they left the railroad, and then they
had a two hours' drive through a country which Marian found very unlike
her own: the bleak, bare downs of Wiltshire, low green hills rising
endlessly one after the other, the white road visible far away before
them, the chalk pits white and cold, a few whitey brown ponds now and
then, and at long intervals a farm house, looking as if it had been set
down there by mistake, and did not like it, carts full of chalk, and
flocks of sheep the chief moving objects they met, and not many of them.
Marian sighed, yawned, and looked at Gerald many a time before they at
length came to a small, very neat-looking town, where the houses stood
far back from the street, and had broad clean pavement in front of them.
"This is Oakworthy," said Mr. Lyddell, and Marian looked with interest.
The church was just outside the town, white, and clean looking, like
everything else, and with a spire. That was all she could see, for they
drove on by the side of a long park wall, enclosing a fir plantation.
The gate of a pretty lodge was thrown back, and they entered upon a
gravelled carriage-road, which, after some windings, led to a large
house, built of white brick, regular and substantial. They stopped under
the portico at the door, and Mr. Lyddell, as he handed Marian out of the
carriage, exclaimed, "Welcome to Oakworthy Park!"
It seemed to Marian that there was a whole crowd waiting for her in the
hall, and she had received at least three kisses before she had time to
look around her, and perceive that this formidable troop consisted of a
tall, fresh-coloured lady, two girls, and two little boys. Each of
the girls eagerly grasped one of her hands, and drew her into the
drawing-room, exclaiming, "I am glad you are come!" Here were two more
strangers, youths of the age at which their juniors call them men, and
their seniors, boys. They did not trouble the guests with any particular
demonstrations of welcome, only shaking hands with them carelessly, and
after another moment or two Marian found herself sitting on a chair,
very stiffly and upright, while Gerald stood about two feet from her,
afraid of a second accusation of getting into her pocket, looking down,
and twisting the handles of her basket.
"Lionel, Johnny," said Mrs. Lyddell, "have you nothing to say to your
cousin? Come here, my dear, and tell me, were you very sorry to leave
Fern Torr?"
Gerald coloured and looked at his sister, who replied by a hesitating,
faltering, "Yes, very."
"Ah! yes, I see," said Mrs. Lyddell, "but you will soon be at home
here. It shall not be my fault or your cousins' if you are not,--eh,
Caroline?"
"Indeed it shall not," returned Caroline, again taking Marian's hand,
at first pressing it cordially, but letting it go on feeling the limp,
passive fingers, which were too shy and frightened to return the
pressure.
Mr. Lyddell came in, and while his wife was engaged in speaking to him,
Marian had time to make her observations, for the chilling embarrassment
of her manner had repelled the attentions of her cousins. Though she had
never seen them before, she knew enough about them to be able to fit the
names to the persons she saw before her, and make a few conjectures as
to how she would like them.
That youth in the odd-looking, rough, shapeless coat, yet with a certain
expensive, fashionable air about the rest of his dress, who stood
leaning against the chimney-piece in a nonchalant attitude, was
her eldest cousin, Elliot Lyddell. The other, a great contrast in
appearance, small, slender, and pale, with near-sighted spectacles
over his weak, light grey eyes, dressed with scrupulous precision and
quietness, who had retreated to the other end of the room and taken up
a book, was Walter. The elder girl, Caroline, was about fifteen, a very
pleasing likeness of her mother, with a brilliant complexion, bright
blue eyes, and a remarkably lively and pleasant smile, which Marian was
so much taken with, that she wished she could have found something to
say, but the dress and air both gave her the appearance of being older
than Agnes, and thus made Marian feel as if she was a great way above
and beyond her. The other sister had a fair, pretty face, much more
childish, with beautiful glossy light hair, and something sweet and
gentle in her expression, and Marian felt warmly towards her because she
was her mother's god-child, and bore the same name.
The younger boys, Lionel and John, were nice-looking little fellows of
nine and seven. They had drawn towards Walter, gazing all the time at
Gerald, and all parties were rejoiced when Mrs. Lyddell, after a few
more attempts at conversation, proposed to take the guests to their
rooms.
With a light, quick step, she led the way up two staircases and a long
passage, to a good-sized, comfortable room intended for Marian, while
Gerald's was just opposite. With a civil welcome to Saunders, kind hopes
that Marian would make herself at home, and information that dinner
would he ready at seven, she left the room, and Saunders proceeded with
the young lady's toilette. Gerald stood gazing from the window at the
trees and little glimpse of the town in the distance. He said little,
and seemed rather forlorn till leave was given him to unpack some goods
which he could not easily damage. Just as Marian was dressed, there was
a knock at the door, and without waiting for an answer, Caroline
and Clara entered, the former saying, "I hope you find everything
comfortable: you see we make you quite at home, and stand on no
ceremony."
It was pleasantly said, but Marian only gave a constrained smile, and
answered, "Thank you," in such an awkward, cold way, that Caroline was
thrown back. Her sister, only conscious of freedom from the restraints
of the drawing-room, began exclaiming in short sentences, "O what a
pretty basket! so you have out your work already! what a lovely pattern!
how quick you have been in dressing! we came to see how you were getting
on. O what is this pretty box? do let me see."
"A work-box," said Marian, by no means disposed to turn out all the
small treasures it contained for Clara's inspection.--Caroline perceived
this, and said with a little reproof to Clara,
"You curious child! Perhaps Marian would like to come and see the
schoolroom before going down."
"Oh, yes," said Clara; "you must come. You have not seen Miss Morley
yet,--our governess,--poor, unfortunate, faithful Morley, as we always
call her."
This manner of mentioning the governess, and before Saunders too,
greatly surprised Marian, and she felt little inclination to face
another stranger; but she could think of no valid objection, and allowed
herself and Gerald to be conducted down one of the flights of stairs
into a passage less decorated than the rest of the house. Clara threw
open a door, calling out, "Here they are!" and Marian found herself in
the presence of a little, nicely dressed lady, who looked very little
older than Caroline, and had a very good-natured face. Coming forward
with a smile, she said, "Miss Arundel, I believe. I hope you are quite
well, and not tired. Sir Gerald, how d'ye do? We shall be good friends,
I am sure."
Gerald shook hands, and Marian thought she ought to do so too; but it
had not been her first impulse, and it was too late, so she only made
a stiff bend of head and knee. Clara, happily unconscious of the
embarrassment with which Marian had infected Caroline, went on talking
fast and freely:
"So, you see, this is the schoolroom. There is Caroline's desk, and here
is mine; and we have made room for you here. I suppose you have a desk.
And here are all our books, and our chiffonnière; Caroline has one side
and I the other. Oh, I must show you my last birthday presents. Ah!
aren't we lucky to have got such a nice view of the terrace and the
portico from here! We can always see the people coming to dinner, and
when the gentlemen go out riding, it is such fun, and--"
"My dear Clara," interposed Miss Morley, seeing Marian's bewildered
looks, "your cousin is not used to such a chatterbox. I assure you,
Miss Arundel, that Clara has been quite wild for the last week with the
prospect of seeing you. I have actually not known what to do with her."
Marian gave one of her awkward smiles, and said nothing.
"You left Devonshire this morning, I think?" said Miss Morley.
"Yes, we did."
"Fern Torr is in a very beautiful part of the country, is it not?"
"Yes, very."
They were getting on at this rate when Mrs. Lyddell came in, and took
Marian and Gerald down to the drawing-room with her, as it was almost
dinner time. No sooner had the door closed behind them, than governess
and pupils at once exclaimed, "How pale!" "how shy!" "how awkward!"
"I dare say that is only shyness," said Caroline, "but I must say I
never saw anything so stiff and chilly."
"Yes, that she is," said Clara, "but it's only shyness; I am sure she is
a dear girl. But how white she is! I thought she would have been pretty,
because they say the Arundels are all so handsome."
"She has fine eyes," said Miss Motley; "and that dear little Sir Gerald,
I am sure we shall all be in love with him."
"Well, I hope we may get on better in time," said Caroline, taking up a
book, and settling herself in a most luxurious attitude in spite of the
unaccommodating furniture of the schoolroom.
Marian recovered a little at dinner, and was not quite so monosyllabic
in her replies. Her netting was a great resource when she went into the
drawing-room after dinner, and she began to feel a little less rigid and
confused, made some progress in acquaintance with Clara, and when she
went to bed was not without hopes of, in time, liking both her and
Caroline very much.