Of the seven days in the week, probably more flogging occurs on Friday
than during all the others put together. On the unfortunate, the
shuffling, and the dense, the effect of this day's ordeal has ever
proved to be most searching. On Thursday, then, towards the conclusion
of eleven o'clock school, the boys were not a little delighted, when
Keate, closing the book, informed them that an hour since he had been
honoured with a request from his Majesty that the morrow might be
converted into a whole holiday, and that they should be indulged
accordingly. It need hardly be stated with what yells of ecstasy this
announcement was received, as we rushed from our seats, lightened of
the sombre dread of "Friday's business."
In the evening, I was summoned to the tea-table of Gregory, my
puissant master, to account, if I could, for my presumptuous absence
at a time when every fag's presence was so imperatively required. On
my appearance, my fellow-fag was astonished at the air of confidence
with which I advanced towards the table, guilty of such a heinous
omission. My master, for some seconds, regarded me with a stern and
savage aspect.
"You little rascal," at length he exclaimed, his voice deepening under
the effects of rage soon to be amply gratified, "you've been toasting
these muffins with the snuffers!" At the same time he confidently
pointed out to me, with savage delight, the single and blackened mark
occasioned by such an unorthodox implement. This was not what I was
prepared for, and the circumstance was, alas, but too evident, and the
palms of my hands were immediately tingling under the strokes of my
master's hair-brush.
"And now," said he, pausing for a moment, "I am going to give you
another licking for not being here in time."
"No," I exclaimed, "you have excused me a fortnight's fagging; at
least, you said yesterday that you would, should I ask the King for a
holiday to-morrow."
This was the truth, and so, in an unguarded moment, he had expressed
himself; but being, at the least, as anxious for a holiday as he was,
and sighing for a fortnight's emancipation from slavery, I had
determined to take him at his word, and obey him to the letter. In a
spirit, then, of excessive innocence, or impudence--I think the
former, though I may have since exchanged it for the latter--I had
started off for the cottage in Windsor Park, where the King was then
residing, and had actually gained admittance without interruption from
any one, though I was now accosted by a gentleman who demanded the
purport of my visit. I replied that I had come up to ask the King to
get us a holiday for Friday. Upon this, he informed me that it was not
usual for strangers to see his Majesty while resident at the cottage,
and that I had better wait until his Majesty returned to the Castle;
and then he kindly walked back with me towards the garden, through
which I had previously passed, and there left me. Here I met
Jerningham walking with his mother, whom I acquainted with the object
of my interview with the Duke of Dorset, as he proved to be. This
happened to be a very fortunate rencontre for me, as Lady Jerningham
eventually turned out to be my "friend at court," and had seconded my
petition with success.
As the next day was a holiday entirely originating with myself, I
concluded that I had a right to make the most of it, and enjoy it in
my own way. Under this impression, Kennedy and I started at seven that
morning, towards Perch-hole, where Lary Miller was to meet us with a
punt and casting-net, and we were to fish our way down the river,
towards Datchet. While awaiting him at the water's edge, among other
inventions to amuse ourselves, Kennedy thoughtlessly snatching off my
hat, set it floating on the water; so taking him by the collar, ere I
had time to reflect, I swung him well into Perch-hole. The moment he
scrambled out, there seemed to be no doubt on either side as to what
was to be done. Indeed, it would be impossible to say which of us
struck the first blow, though the question with us now was, who was to
give the last. Perhaps any other boys, as soon as the first burst of
passion had exploded, would have deferred the contest to another
opportunity, when each might be attended by his second; but Kennedy
breathed nothing but immediate retaliation, and probably he might wish
to exercise himself after his immersion. I also preferred the present
time, as, on giving the subject a momentary consideration, during the
early period of the fight, it struck me as being most repugnant and
ungrateful to my feelings, to meet my greatest friend in cool blood,
to see which could batter the other the most, and that, too, only to
glut the sight of hundreds.
In general, each battle at Eton is conducted with all the etiquette
incidental to the prize-ring, under the latest regulations of the
Birmingham Youth, or White-headed Bob. Indeed, one would here conclude
that it was impossible to contend without a ring, seconds, and
time-keeper. Notwithstanding the deficiency of these desiderata, we
weaved merrily away for nearly an hour, during which period, perhaps
from being the lightest, I was prostrated three times, which therefore
divided the contest into but three stages or rounds, during which time
each rested on the grass, and conscientiously recommenced our
operations, the instant we imagined that the half-minute had expired.
The clock now struck a quarter-past nine, when we were reminded, that
should we fight on, each would be well flogged for disregard of
absence; and as our occupation was barely worth the penalty, we at
once put on our jackets, and departed in silence, to answer to our
names, while, as a matter of course, we were to finish the battle
after twelve, for my holiday afforded us ample time.
This morning, therefore, for the first time, we breakfasted in
different rooms. Each now commenced this repast with feelings far from
cheerful. The anger of the moment having passed away, there remained
no sense of enmity between us; and yet, in an hour or two, we were to
meet again, like a couple of dogs, and mangle each other as we best
might.
Kennedy could not but feel that he was not only the strongest, but had
actually been more prevalent in the contest than myself; nor did he,
on this account, congratulate himself, when he reflected that the
appointed hour was fast approaching when he must do his best to thrash
me still more. The sole thought that weighed on my mind, was that of
having quarrelled with a fellow whom I liked far beyond myself. At
this moment the door opened, and Kennedy, placing his rolls and butter
on the table, stretched his hand across it towards me, and the next,
we were sipping our tea together out of the pewter salt-cellar, with
no farther traces of enmity, save the three unequivocal black eyes we
retained between us.
This subject reminds me of a very melancholy one which I witnessed
several years afterwards; and as I have heard it discussed so
frequently, and so erroneously, I cannot help wishing, if possible, to
give a concise and true statement of the case. In the instance alluded
to, the contest might be said to have terminated with no unusual
consequences, for the clock had struck the hour in which it was
imperative for every one of us to be in his dames for the night, and
the combatants were in the act of putting on their coats, and all
would have been well, had not a voice, which I distinctly recollect,
exclaimed, "One more round!" Whichever had now declined would have
been considered as vanquished: they closed, struggled for the fall,
and the fall was fatal. The sole cause of this miserable catastrophe
was that voice of a mere bystander, and of this he must be as sensible
as I am. I know not who he may be, nor do I envy him his secret.
It was now getting towards the latter end of July, and I had been an
Etonian nearly three months. During this time I had experienced a fair
average of fighting, bullying, fagging, and flogging, and had also
acquired some useful accomplishments. I could paddle my skiff up to
Surly Hall and back, swim across the river at Upper Hope, and had even
begun to get in debt, having some weeks ago "gone tick" with Joe Hyde
for a couple of bottles of ginger-beer, with the proviso of returning
them when empty, but which, it must be confessed, were still lying at
the bottom of Deadman's Hole, for the farther improvement of my
diving.
Having just been disappointed in my endeavours to procure a boat at
Hester's, I was returning towards my dames about the middle of
after-six, totally at a loss for amusement. Every other boy was now
eagerly employed on the river, or at cricket, and the whole college
was silent and deserted. As I strolled listlessly along, I observed a
funeral slowly issuing from the church-door on its way to the
burial-ground. Singular to say, this was the first instance of death's
doing on a fellow-being I had yet witnessed. On its approach, I seated
myself on the Long-walk wall, and watched the coffin and its
noiseless followers, as they glided slowly before me. So soon as all
had passed, I quietly slid down from my seat, and accompanied the
procession at a little distance.
While we are young, we are not only moved more easily, but doubt not
that every person else feels as sincerely. Under this impression, I
accompanied the corpse towards its grave, touched with a sort of pity
for the mourners, and sobered by a deep and respectful sympathy.
As I stood by the brink of the grave, I could not but feel a soothing
comfort and hope under our affliction, so beautifully held out to us
by the spirit of "the service of the dead;" and I even entertained an
affection for the clergyman who officiated. But when I witnessed the
lowering of the coffin to its future resting-place--heard the soft
crumbling of the churchyard soil, as it dropped from the grasp of the
sexton on the below-sounding coffin, down below--the anguished but
stifled moan of the childless father, who had apparently expended his
hard-got earnings for the interment of his child--I not only repassed
the gates considerably affected, but overpowered with an indescribable
dread of impending death. I was now possessed with a servile love of
God, arising from fear; an anxiety to please and obey him, to an
infinite degree. Alas! even at this early age, how worldly-minded,
how pitiful, can be our motives!
I now determined within myself, as resolutely as presumptuously, to
"go and sin no more;" and to that effect, that very evening, dived to
the bottom of Deadman's Hole, and returned to Joe Hyde his horribly
portentous bottles.