"How old are you, Graham?" asked my future tutor.
"Nine, if you please, sir."
"Can you do sense-verses?"
"No, sir, only nonsense ones."
"Well, you are placed in the upper Greek; be in eight-o'clock-school
to-morrow. Graham," calling me back, "take this order to the
book-seller, and he will give you the requisite school-books. It is
Greek grammar in the morning; get a boy to show you where the lesson
is. You may go."
So soon as I had procured the books, I peeped into the Greek grammar,
which struck me as being an interesting-looking book, for hitherto, I
had never even seen a Greek letter. I went to my Dames, where I found
Tyrrel _ma_, and Kennedy, who shared my room, playing at battledore.
"You don't care for the row, Graham, do you?" asked Tyrrel, after they
had played half an hour, and observing that I looked a little
puzzled.
"Oh, that makes no difference," I sighed, "but this Greek is such odd
stuff, and I don't know a letter in the alphabet except the four first
ones. Can you give us a help?"
After a lengthened debate among us, the only apparent chance for me
was, that the lesson should be written out in English letters, so that
when I repeated it, I should appear to know my lesson. This, Tyrrel
good-naturedly effected for me.
At eight o'clock, then, the next morning, in due routine, I approached
the master in his desk, under the same superstitious awe as poor
Friday, when he cowered before the august Crusoe. I would not have
failed in my performance for worlds, and now entered the desk resolved
on acquitting myself to perfection.
My ardour was not slightly damped when, on uttering a few words, the
master, with a frown, demanded why I had not commenced where the
previous boy had left off.
"I thought, sir, that I was to begin at the beginning."
"What business have you to think?"
Commencing, then, as he directed me, I had no sooner recited four
lines, than he ordered me to "go."
"That's not all, if you please, sir."
"It's quite enough for me; go."
So I went, under the painful suspicion that I had failed, and was to
be punished accordingly. I was not yet aware that the succeeding boy
went on with the lesson where his predecessor had left off; and when
he had said his three or four lines, he likewise was dismissed, and so
on--it being taken for granted, that the boy knew the remainder of the
task; but this extreme innocence of mine, when I informed the master
that I had not accomplished the whole lesson, is not a little amusing,
when compared to my future career, was it not for the remorse a man of
crime might feel when he reverts his thoughts to a time ere he had
transgressed. At that time I should have acted similarly under every
circumstance; I intended well.
"Now let us go to breakfast," said Kennedy, as I returned to the room.
"Will you fellows get it ready, and make the tea," asked Tyrrel,
"while I go and lay breakfast for my master?" Kennedy and myself were
as yet exempt from that duty for a fortnight, which is the privilege
granted to each new comer.
"What a lucky fellow I am," said Tyrrel, on his return, "to have you
two in my mess, with your new set of tea-things, and a double set,
too! If we manage well, they'll last us easily to the holidays. Till
you came, I was obliged to slip into other fellows' rooms, and sharp
a cup of tea. Now, let us regularly lock up everything in my
cupboard, for it's quite empty; how comfortable we shall be; and your
pictures, Kennedy, make the room look so nice!"
"And what beautiful frames they have!" I observed.
"The frames and glasses," replied Kennedy, "were a present for those
views about home, which a sister sketched for me."
"What shall we do after twelve?" asked Tyrrel.
"Can't we go out in a boat?"
It was soon arranged that Kennedy and Tyrrel should play at cricket,
and that I should stay in to work at my Greek, of which another lesson
occurred at five-o'clock-school. At two o'clock, the trio met at
dinner; after which we proceeded to our room, where, soon as we
entered, Kennedy beheld each of his drawings rifled of their glasses,
which lay shivered to pieces beneath them on the floor.
Gregory _mi_ had, in an unlucky moment, lounged into the room with a
little cross-bow, and had practised his skill on each in succession.
"Never mind, Kennedy," said Tyrrel, "they must have been broken one
time or another."
I now proceeded unwarily enough to the cloisters, where I thought I
might puzzle out my hieroglyphical task more in quiet.
"I say, my little man, you must come and bowl to me."
"I've got my lesson to learn," I replied.
"When do you say it?" inquired the fifth-form boy; and finding that it
was not required till five o'clock, and discrediting my singular
difficulty, which I stated to him, he at once took me away,
notwithstanding that, as a saving clause, I asserted the privilege due
to a boy's first fortnight, but which, I was now told, should not
avail me for having told such a falsehood about the lesson. In the
following schooltime I was, of course, "put in the bill," but was not
flogged, in consequence of pleading my "first fault," another and too
fleeting privilege of a new boy.
On returning to my room in the evening, I found my two friends looking
unutterable things, while around them lay, "like leaves in wint'ry
weather," the fragments of our prided crockery ware!
In our absence, a boy, well knowing what he was about, had come to the
cupboard to sharp some tea-things, but finding, to his disappointment,
that it was locked, he was yet determined that we should not escape
him. The whole was unfortunately suspended, by a bit of rope, to a
large nail in the wall; this, then, he had maliciously cut, and the
result had proved fatal to the whole "double set of tea-things," with
the exception of a pewter salt-cellar. "Well, they must have been
broken, one time or another," archly remarked Kennedy.
A very few days had elapsed before I had become a genuine Etonian,
which a boy is never accounted until he has been once flogged.
Notwithstanding my respect of that honourable title, I was still very
unwilling to purchase it so dearly. I had an inclination for forming my
own opinion upon matters, somewhat independently of others; and though,
in the lower part of the school, to be put in the bill, and suffer
accordingly, carried with it anything but a reflection towards the
subject of it, still, for reasons of my own, I concluded that it would
be far more respectable to act otherwise. This, then, with me, was not
merely an opinion--it became a principle, and one which, unfortunately,
I was most anxious to preserve inviolate--unfortunately, because it
must inevitably be outraged. Even under the most favourable
circumstances, owing to my ignorance of its rudiments, I was sensible
that I must frequently fail in my Greek tasks; what chance, then, had
I, constantly thwarted in my endeavours to avoid this, by hourly and
capricious fagging?
This, then, weighed upon my mind in no slight degree, for though
exposed, from an early period, "to rough it" more than was common, the
sensitiveness of a boy's disposition will be anything but deadened in
consequence, so long as he thinks for himself, and forms his own line
of right and wrong, though perhaps it schools him precociously to
conceal what his associates may deem to be his weaknesses, though
probably his better traits of character, should he be blessed with
such. This tendency was not likely to be diminished by the following
incident:--
From the moment I first left my home, which was at an early period,
the little religious instruction I might have received from my nurse
was abandoned, and never even reflected on for a moment, till within a
short time of my departure for Eton, when, by some chance train of
thought, I became sensible that I knew not a single prayer--at least
perfectly. I was well aware that other boys did, though many neglected
them. To supply this my deficiency, I henceforth never failed to offer
up, each morning and evening, extemporary ones, and which, though
puerilely adapted to little impressions or wants, yet flowed the more
truly from the heart, and cherished an affectionate, and therefore,
truly religious feeling, towards my Almighty Father.
One morning I was awakened by the clock striking the hour in which I
should have been in school, when, instantly dressing myself, I harried
away, and on returning to my room, was kneeling at a chair, when I
was interrupted by the dreaded vociferation of "lower boy!"
Though knowing the consequences, should I be discovered, I never for a
moment wavered as to the course I should adopt, but continued
deliberately at my accustomed devotions. As I was thus occupied, the
fifth-form boy entered my room to learn my reason for neglecting his
summons, and was for a moment startled when he discovered in what
manner I was employed; but, without further hesitation or compunction,
taking me by the collar, he inflicted a blow as a punishment for my
presumption. This was a little too much, so instantly springing at
him, and taking him unawares, for a moment I actually beat my tyrant
off, when Kennedy accidentally presenting himself at the door, at once
ranged himself by my side. This made the pitiful fellow pause, and
finding that, though so immeasurably his juniors, we were resolute, he
prudently informed us, that so soon as we had procured the captain's
permission to fight with him, he would comply; this formality existing
on a feud arising between an upper and lower boy. On inquiring into
the case, the captain refused his consent, but added a severe threat
towards my aggressor.
Insignificant as they appear, these incidents had lasting effects on
me. With regard to the first, I at once resigned myself in despair to
the bitterness of a disappointed, and almost a broken spirit; and, so
far as all scholastic duties were concerned, I henceforth adopted a
reckless, heedless course, except that I pursued it doggedly and
systematically.
As to my religious duties, I was considerably embarrassed, and that,
because I bestowed some attention upon them; had I not, I should have
been as easy in this respect as most other boys. However, after no
little examination into the subject, and, by-the-bye, confusion, I
came to the resolution of guiding myself as well as I could by what
little knowledge I might possess; and unspiritual as this reliance on
my own efforts evidently was, I, in unison with it, farther resolved,
that should I omit what I knew to be right, I would refrain, at all
events, from that which I judged to be wrong--and I do not see what I
could have done more.
To assist, or prevent me in my resolution, things were nearly
balanced. No boy had been more completely exposed to the chance of
circumstance, and, in consequence, to the unbiassed sway of my natural
disposition, which was restless in the extreme. For this there is no
alternative--for good or bad, work it will, and in such a case
idleness is indeed the root of all evil.
To save me from, or rather to diminish this danger, I was _at that
time_ imbued, in no trifling degree, with benevolence and candour;
and I was free, also, of two qualities which I have since acquired,
for they are appendages as common to our natures as are our limbs to
our bodies. I was devoid of selfishness and prejudice; and as society
is constituted, one commences life with a bad start, destitute of such
accomplishments.