I am now able to send off the 5l. about the need of which I was informed
late last evening, and am again thus graciously helped at this time also
by Him who hears the cries of His children. Do you not discern His hand,
dear reader, in this instance?
Oct. 8. Today 10s. more was required towards housekeeping expenses; but
nothing had come in since the 6th. One of the labourers was able of his
own means to give the amount required.
Oct. 9. Saturday. Yesterday, when there was nothing at all in hand, were
given half-a-crown, 2 silk handkerchiefs, 3 pinafores, a baby's shirt,
a frock, and 2 children's work-bags.--This morning I found in the
boxes at my house 1s. I knew that several pounds would be needed today
for provisions, and therefore my eyes were directed to the Lord for
help. I received accordingly 13s. 6d. "from a London Postman," and from
Cumberland 1l. Thus I had 1l. 17s., but as this was still not enough,
one of the labourers added 1l. 3s. of his own, as 3l. was needed. Thus
we have enough for house-keeping expenses till Monday morning.
Oct 11. Monday. Yesterday came in from a sister 10s., ditto 4s.,
anonymously 2s., through an Orphan-box 8s., and from a sister 2s. 6d.
Thus we have enough for today's necessities, and 1s. 6d. left.
Oct. 12. There came in yesterday afternoon through the boxes at the
Orphan-Houses 5s. 0 ½ d., and through those at my house 1s. Also by
sale of Reports 2s. This morning I received through sister Ch. 1l. 5s.
5d. These donations were very refreshing to my spirit in this time of
great need, and though not nearly enough for all we required today, they
are nevertheless a precious earnest that the Lord will help us further.
By the first delivery this morning I received an anonymous letter,
containing 5l., with these words:
"It is requested that half of the enclosed sum may be expended on
Brother Müller's own necessities, the other half as he thinks fit, in
furtherance of his Christian schemes: and may the blessing of the
Giver of all good' attend him! Oct. 7, 1847."
I put the half of this 5l. to the Orphan-Fund--There came in still
further by sale of articles and Reports 1l. 12s. 6d. Thus we have all
that is needed for the present moment.--Afternoon. This afternoon a
person from the neighbourhood of Chepstow called and left a
half-sovereign. There came in also through needlework, done by the
Orphans, 2l. 5s. 4d. Thus we are still further helped for the present
moment. But all this is not enough. Larger sums are needed, as oatmeal
is to be ordered from Scotland, and several other heavy expenses,
besides those for house-keeping, are to be met. Nevertheless the
precious proofs, which I have had again today of our Father's loving
care over the work, lead me to expect further help.--Evening. This
evening at a quarter to ten o'clock I received 180l. Of this sum I put
100l. to the Missionary-Fund, 40l. to the SchoolBible and Tract-Fund,
and 40l. to the Orphan-Fund for present use. How good is the Lord! How
precious this help! How much needed and how seasonable!
From the 13th to the 19th of October came in 8l 6s. 1 ½ d.
On Oct. 19th I left Bristol with my dear wife, partly, because both of
us much needed change of air, and partly, because I had a great desire
to labour in the Word for a few weeks in Westmoreland and Cumberland. I
was not able to leave more means than enough for about three days for
house-keeping expenses. But I could not have stayed in Bristol, though
there had been nothing at all in hand; my hope was that God would help
during my absence. During all the time of my stay at Bowness in
Westmoreland, from Oct. 20th to Nov. 20th, there was day by day, with
the exception of the first three days, after my departure, need to wait
upon God for daily supplies for the Orphans. In consequence of this,
every donation, without exception, which was received daring my absence,
came in most seasonably. Partly on account of my health, and partly on
account of opportunities for service in Westmoreland and elsewhere, I
did not feel it right to return to Bristol sooner than I did, though
there was such great poverty; nor could I have done anything in Bristol
which I could not do in Westmoreland, as it regards procuring means,
since prayer and faith are all the means I make use of to obtain
supplies when we are in need. For the encouragement of the reader, and
also that those, whom God used at that time to enable us day by day to
supply the Orphans with what they needed, may see how they were used by
Him to help us, I mention here every one of the donations which came in
during my absence, with the exception of the articles.
Oct. 21, 1847. From some poor sisters near Kingsbridge. 4s. 6d., in
small donations through Brother F. in Bristol 7s. 5d.--Oct. 22.
Anonymously from Walsall 5l., of which 2l. is intended for missions, 1l.
for the Building Fund, and 2l. for present use for the Orphans.--From
Bath anonymously 10s. with a lace cape.--Oct. 24th. I received while
at Bowness 10s., also 1s. and 2s. This 13s. I forwarded at once to
Bristol by an order. There was also received in Bristol from Droitwich
10s. and from London 2s. 6d.--Oct. 25th. By sale of articles and
Reports 2l. From C. C. 1l. From Wolverhampton 10s.--Oct. 26th.
Through the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 1l. 14s. 6d., our need having
caused them to be opened.--Oct. 28. By sale of Reports 2s. 4d.
Orphan-box in my house 10s. From a Christian gentleman near Crediton 5l.
Oct. 30. By sale of Reports 2s. 6d. By sale of an improved Rendering
9d. From London 10s.--Nov. 1. By sale of articles, stockings, and
Reports 1l. 14s. 4d.--Nov. 2. Through a brother at Clevedon 5s.
Through the boxes at the Orphan-Houses 3l. 8s. 6d. By sale of a Report
and Rendering 10d. From one of the labourers 3s.--Nov. 4. From a
sister near Wotton-under-Edge 1l.--Nov. 5. From two donors in the
neighborhood of Droitwich 5s. each.--Nov. 6. From sister B. in
Bristol 4s. From C. C. 1l. 2s. 5 ½ d.--Nov. 8. Anonymously by post
5l.--From sister H. C. 3s. There was also given to me at Kendal,
where I had been labouring, by a brother 10s., and by a poor sister 4d.
This I sent at once to Bristol by an order.--Nov. 9. From a donor in
Bristol 1l. From Switzerland 1l. 4s. 4d. From London 5s. By sale of
articles 5l. 14s. 4 ½ d.--Nov. 11. A lady from Ireland visited the
Orphan-Houses and gave 1l. By sale of a Report 4d.--Proceeds of an
Orphan-box from the neighbourhood of Launceston 1l. 3s. 9d.--Through
an Orphan-box in my house 5s.--Nov. 13. Through the bonds in the
Orphan-Houses 10s. 2d. Through Mrs. T.'s Orphan-box 2s, 1 ½ d.--
Nov. 14. From C. C. 5l.--Anonymously 2s. 6d.--Nov. 16. By sale of
articles and stockings 2l. 11s. 6d.--Nov. 17. By sale of Reports 1s.
Through a box in my house 2s. 6d. By needlework and knitting of the
Orphans 1l. 6s. From sister C. 10s. From one of the labourers
in the work 5l.--Nov. 19. From P. 2s. 6d.--On
Nov. 20th we left Bowness for Keswick in Cumberland. The day before we
left, I received at Bowness 5s., 5s., and 1l., also from Kendal 2s. 6d.
This 1l. 12s. 6d. I sent off at once to Bristol by an order, knowing
that it was needed.--Nov. 21. From C. C. 3l.--Nov. 22. Through the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses 7s.--Nov. 23. By sale of articles and
stockings 2l. 5s. 9d. From one of the labourers 3l.--Nov. 24. By sale
of Reports 3s. 3d. From F. L. in Ireland 1l. From Richmond 1l. 10s.--
From Nov. 20th to 24th we stayed at Keswick. Whilst there I received
10s., 2s., and 1s. 6d. for the Orphans. This 13s. 6d. was at once sent
off to Bristol, by an order, as we were still very poor, with regard to
means for housekeeping expenses for the Orphan-Houses. But
notwithstanding all this great poverty in Bristol, which required that
we should day by day wait upon God, for our daily supplies, I did not
feel at all led to return home, but had an especial drawing to go to
Sunderland to labour there for a little while among the brethren
assembling at "Bethesda Free Chapel." We therefore left Keswick on Nov.
24th for Sunderland.--Nov. 26th came in by sale of articles 2s.,
through the boxes at my house 1L. 2s. 6d., and from Dublin 1l.--Nov.
27. Through a box 8d., by sale of articles 7s., and 2l. from London.--
Nov. 28th. From C. C. 10s. 8d., and by sale of Reports 8d.--Nov. 30.
By sale of stockings and articles 1l. 13s. 6 ½ d. From one of the
labourers 1l. 10s. By sale of articles 1s. 11d. Dec. 1. From one of
the labourers in the work 10s.--Dec. 2. From sister F. 5s. By sale of
articles 1l. From Newbury 10s. 6d.--Dec. 3. By sale of articles 5s.
By profits from the sale of ladies' bags 1l. 19s. 6d. From Kingstown,
Ireland, 1l. By sale of a Report 4d.--Dec. 5. From C. C. 1l. Through
the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 3s. 10d. By knitting of the Orphans 8s.
6d. From Glasgow 5s.--Dec. 7. By sale of articles and stockings 3l.
7s, 11d. From one of the labourers 2l. From Thornbury 4s.--Dec. 8.
From a village near Keswick 10s., and by sale of articles 6d. From one
of the labourers 10s. From a donor in Ayrshire 2l.--In the evening of
Dec. 8th we returned to Bristol from Sunderland. Day by day while we
were at Sunderland also, the Orphan-Fund was very low, but God helped
day by day, by sending in the means which have been mentioned; and when
we returned there was 1s. 11d, in hand, and 2l. came in that same
evening from Plymouth.
Dec. 9. From the neighbourhood of Pershore came in this morning most
seasonably 5l., as time need for house-keeping expenses today was 4l.,
and there was only 2l. 1s. 11d, in hand. This 5l. came in about an hour
before the 4l. was needed. There was received further today from Bath,
anonymously, 10s., and by sale of articles 2s. 6d.--Will you not,
dear reader, unite with me in admiring and praising the Lord who so
seasonably helped all the time that I was away from the work, engaged in
His service in another way! Do you not see how precious it is to have
God to go to, and to find Him ever willing to help those who trust in
Him, wherever they be? Do you not also see again the hand of God so
manifestly stretched out on our behalf this day Dec. 9th? 4l. was
needed, but only 2l. 1s. 11d, in hand, and, an hour before the 4l. was
called for from the Orphan-Houses for house-keeping expenses, the Lord
sent that 5l. from Pershore.
Dec. 10. Today I received information, in answer to my inquiry, that
10s., which had been sent to me at Sunderland, were intended for the
Orphans. These 10s., together with 3l. 14s. 5d. left in hand yesterday,
are sufficient for this day, as the need of today is only 3l. 10s. for
house-keeping.
Dec. 11. This morning came in 1l. from the neighbourhood of Cockermouth;
thus we had, with the 14s. 5d. left yesterday, 1l. 14s. 5d., which is
enough for today.
Dec. 13. Monday. Yesterday I received from C. C. 1l. 10s., from another
person 2s., as profit from the sale of ladies' bags 1l., and this
morning from Burford 2s. 6d. Thus we have again enough for the
house-keeping expenses of today.
Dec. 14. Yesterday we had enough, but nothing over. When there was again
nothing at all remaining in my hands, there was yesterday afternoon 1s.
put into a box at my house. In the evening came in by sale of stockings
and articles 2l. 6s. 6d., and by a donation 10s--In the evening also
a sister from Norwich brought 10s., 2s. 6d., 6d., and 3s. She also
brought the following articles, to be sold for the benefit of the
Orphans: A bottle of extract of spring flowers, a small box of scent
bottles, a smelling bottle, 8 common seals, a thimble case, a box of
wafers; a china box containing two rings, a mourning brooch, and a bead
watch-guard; a pin-cushion, a pair of little cuffs, and a little box.
Another parcel containing a pair of worked slippers, 2 little bags, 2
books, 2 aprons, a knitted cloth, 3 pin-cushions, a Shetland shawl, and
a pair of card-racks. Further: 2 pairs of cuffs and a necktie. Further:
a child's silver rattle, 3 rings, 3 pairs of ear-rings, and 2
necklaces--There was also a parcel sent from Langport, containing two
toilette cushions, a pair of worked slippers, 2 fans, 2 children's
caps, some gold lace, a pair of silver clasps, 3 brooches, a silver
thimble, a brass clasp, and some bits of gold. This morning I received a
letter from the neighbourhood of Exeter containing a post-office order
for 8s. with these words:
"I had hoped to have accumulated a larger sum in my box for the Orphans,
than I have of late been enabled to obtain. I now, however, send it to
you, though the amount is small, and should be thankful if it should
prove useful for present need, it having been upon my mind for the last
day or two that I ought to forward it to you without further delay. I
therefore send an order for 8s., &c."
Thus we were supplied for the need of this day. This last 8s. was needed
to make up the amount required.
Dec. 15. Yesterday afternoon I received 3l. more, of which 2l. was from
Madeira, and 1l. from the brother through whom the 2l. was remitted.
This 3l. was paid away at once, though not needed for house-keeping, so
that I had still nothing for the need of today, when this day began.--
My prayer last evening and this morning had been especially, that the
Lord would not only be pleased to send me some money for the
house-keeping expenses of today, but also enable me to give at least a
little money to eight of the sisters who labour in the four
Orphan-Houses, who have not had any money for their own personal
necessities for several months. This desire was granted to me, for I
received this morning a letter from Wakefield with 20l., in which the
donor writes: "I hasten to enclose 20l., which I leave to your disposal;
but if the varied funds are so situated as to give no material
preponderance of need to any one, I should divide it as under, viz. 10l.
to the Orphans, 5l. to yourself and colleague, and 5l. for the Bibles,
&c." I took all this 20l. for the Orphans, and have thus the joy of
being able to send at least 16l. to those eight sisters, and am also
supplied with house-keeping money for today; and as for tomorrow, "my
eyes are upon the Lord." The Lord be praised for this precious and
seasonable help!
Dec. 16. Yesterday afternoon a brother in the Lord gave 5l. for the
Orphans. By this money I was able to defray the expenses of today, and
the rest I put away for the rent, so that again we have to look to the
Lord for supplies for tomorrow. Yesterday also a person gave
half-a-crown to one of the teachers of the Orphans, whilst she was
walking out with the children.
Dec. 17. Yesterday afternoon came in 12s. and 5s.--Also a lady and
gentleman called at the Girls' Orphan-House No. II. and gave 10s. for
a copy of my Narrative. Thus we had a little towards the need of today,
but not nearly enough. Before, however, I was called on for money, I
received from Worcester 1l. 10s. Thus we were supplied for the need of
today.
Dec. 18. Saturday. I had reason to believe that our need for
house-keeping today would be about 5l., and I therefore waited upon God
for means, and looked out for help. Yesterday afternoon, accordingly,
came in by sale of trinkets 1l. 8s. This morning I received from
Westmoreland 10l. Also a letter from Edinburgh, containing 15l., with
the following lines without name.
"Dear brother in Christ, I enclose in the name of Jesus' 15l. 5l.
for dear brother Craik, 5l. for dear brother and sister Müller, for
their personal or family expenses, 3l. for the Orphans, and 2l. for the
Christian Knowledge Institution. May the peace of God, which passeth all
understanding, keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ our
Lord."
There came in also, at the same time, by sale of Reports 10s. Thus I was
able to meet all the house-keeping expenses of today, being 4l. 15s.
0d., and the rest I was obliged to put by for the rent and the expenses
connected with the apprentices, so that we have yet again to wait upon
the Lord for further supplies for next Monday. However, we are brought
to the close of another week in this service, and He who has helped us
thus far will surely help us further.
Monday, Dec. 20. Only 9s. and a small gold pin and ring from Stowmarket
having come in since Saturday morning, we had not enough for
house-keeping expenses today, which are 2l.; but one of the labourers
was able of his own to give 1l. 11s. 0d., to supply the deficiency.
Dec. 21. Yesterday afternoon a brother sent 2l. for the Orphans. In the
evening a sister gave 2s, 6d. This morning came in through two
Orphan-boxes 14s. 10d.; from Droitwich 10s; and by sale of articles,
Reports and stockings 1l. 7s. 9d. Thus we have all that is needed for
today, the demand being only 3l. 5s. The rest I put by for rent and the
apprentices, and wait upon God for help for tomorrow.
Dec. 22. Yesterday evening came in by sale of Reports 8d., from Plymouth
1s., and from a sister 5s. Our need also led me to open the boxes in the
Orphan-Houses, which contained 15s. 2 ½ d. By sale of articles 2s. 6d.
This was all I was able to send this morning to the Orphan-Houses,
waiting upon the Lord for more.
Dec. 23. The need of today was 11l., having several expenses to meet
besides those of house-keeping, which amounted to 4l. for today. This
sum the Lord gave me thus: last evening I received 1l. together with a
pair of trousers and gaiters, and a remnant of fustian for the Orphans.
But as I knew how much there would be needed today, I waited further
upon the Lord this morning for help, and, in ONE MINUTE, after I had
risen from my knees, I received a letter from Liverpool with 10l. for
the Orphans. The donor writes: "I have had the enclosed Ten Pound Note
in my drawer for some time, intending to send it to you for the Orphans;
but my time is so occupied, that, at a suitable time, when at my desk, I
have overlooked it. I now however enclose it," &c,--How seasonable
this help! How exactly to the very shilling what is needed today! How
remarkable that just now this donor in Liverpool is led to send the Ten
Pounds which had been, according to his own words, for some time in his
drawer for the purpose of sending it! All this abundantly proves the
most minute and particular providence of God and His readiness to answer
the supplications of His children.--I am now looking out again for
supplies for tomorrow.
Dec. 24. Last evening came in from Mrs. O. 1l., by knitting 1s. 10d., by
sale of stockings 2l. 5s., by four half-sovereigns given to the matrons
of the four Orphan-Houses, of which three of them gave their part to the
funds, 30s, and by sale of trinkets 1l. 2s. Thus we are supplied till
next Monday, i.e. for Christmas day (Saturday) and the Lord's day.
Dec. 27. Monday. Before I was called on for fresh supplies, the Lord, in
His great kindness, had given me the means requisite for today. On
Christmas Day was brought to me a parcel from Hereford in which I
received from A. and Z. 3s., also a little box, a silver vinaigrette.,
and half-a-crown. Yesterday, Lord's Day. I received from Kendal 5l.
10s. Also from Stoke Bishop 10s.--Thus I have been again able to meet
all the expenses of today.
Dec. 28. Yesterday came in by sale of Reports from Bath 2s. 6d., ditto
from Street 1s., by the proceeds of an Orphan-box from Street 3s., and
anonymously 5s.Today I received by sale of articles and stockings 1l.
11s. 8d. As this was not quite enough for the necessities of today, the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, and 2l. 1s. 0 ½ d. found in
them. Thus we had again more than four pounds for house-keeping to day,
and are supplied with all we need.
Dec. 29. Yesterday evening I met at our usual weekly prayer meeting with
all the labourers in the Schools and Orphan-Houses, to seek the Lord's
blessing upon the work, and upon the children under our care in
particular. Among other points the state of the funds also was a subject
for prayer, on account of the great need in every way. For we need money
for the schools, as I shall not be able next week to pay to the teachers
in the Day Schools their usual weekly salary, except means should come
in for them. The stock of tracts and Bibles is also becoming very small.
Also for eleven weeks I have scarcely at all been able to send help to
home and foreign labourers. This especially we prayed about. And as to
the Orphans, I had again only 9d. in hand for house-keeping expenses,
which had come in at the meeting. However, my heart, by God's
goodness, was at peace, and as I had now with my fellow-labourers been
again able to bring all our necessities before the Lord I was looking
out for help. After the meeting one of the teachers gave me 1s. 6d. for
the Orphans, saying, the Lord will give you more tomorrow morning. This
I expected myself; for we were in need for house-keeping expenses for
today, and we had been waiting upon God for means. Accordingly this
morning, when I had only 2s. 3d. in hand, I received from Devonshire
15l. for the Orphans.--How good is the Lord! How seasonable again
this supply! I had been just again in prayer about the work, and about
this day's necessities, and at the very moment that I rose from my
knees this letter was given to me.--There was also another letter
from Essex, containing 1l. 5s. for the Orphans. Thus I was again
abundantly supplied for this day, and was able to put by the rest for
rent and the expenses connected with the apprentices, trusting in the
Lord for fresh supplies for tomorrow.
Dec. 30. When this day began, we were without any thing for the
necessities of the day, though I had reason to believe that several
pounds would again be required. I was therefore again looking out for
fresh supplies. Accordingly, about ten o'clock this morning, a brother
in the Lord, who had come last evening to stay for a night in my house,
gave me 10l., to be used as it might be most needed. To be noticed in
connexion with this donation is: 1, I had, not long since, received a
donation from him. 2, This brother had generally stated how he wished
his donations to be appropriated, and they had been chiefly for
missionary purposes; but this time he left it to me to use this money as
most needed, and therefore I could take of it what was needed for the
Orphans. 3, We were now extremely poor also with regard to the funds for
all the other objects, so that I was obliged to tell the teachers of the
Day Schools last Tuesday evening, 28th, that if no fresh supplies came
in, I should not be able to give them their weekly salaries, as usual,
next Tuesday evening, being now poorer in this particular than I had
been for years. How kind therefore of the Lord, not only to give me this
money through this brother at this time, but also to dispose his heart
to leave the application of it to me as most needed. I took half of it
for this day's housekeeping expenses for the Orphans, and half for the
School Fund, for the weekly salaries of the teachers next Tuesday.--I
also received further this morning a half-sovereign from Droitwich.--
The little that was left, after the house-keeping expenses were met, was
put by for rent and the expenses for the apprentices, and I was again,
without a penny, looking out for fresh supplies for tomorrow.
Dec. 31, 1847. The last day of another year had now come. Great and many
had been the mercies of God to me this year in every way, particularly
also in connexion with the Orphans; but now I had again nothing for
today, except two shillings which are in one of the boxes in my house. I
was, however, by God's grace, able to look out for supplies for this
last day of another year also, being fully assured that the Lord would
not confound me. And thus it has been, according to my expectation; for,
before being called on for money, I received 100l., which was left to me
to apply to any part of the Lord's service where there seemed the most
need. At the same time I received 5l. for the Orphans from Teignmouth.
Of the 100l. I took half for the Orphans and half for the other objects.
It was indeed a moat seasonable help! I am thus able to meet all the
expenses for house-keeping for today, all the present expenses connected
with the apprentices, and am able to give 16l. to eight of the sisters
who labour in the Orphan-Houses, for their own personal necessities. How
good is the Lord! How can I sufficiently praise Him for this seasonable
help! Evening. Received still further 3s., and from Banbury 17s., and
the proceeds of an Orphan-box, being 1l. 2s. 6d. Thus the year closes in
blessing and under the manifest help of God.
Jan. 1, 1848. As the old year ended, so the new begins. Early this
morning was sent to me 1l. 12s. 0d., being the proceeds of an
Orphan-box.--A little later I received from Worcester 1l., and from
Scotland 3l.
Jan. 6. On the second and three following days came in many pounds more;
but though so much had been received during the last seven days, I sent
again today the last money to the Orphan-Houses for house-keeping, as
our expenses have been exceedingly heavy during the last few days; and I
am therefore again penniless with regard to the necessities of tomorrow.
Evening. The Lord has been again exceedingly kind, and has again
helped in His faithful love. This evening I received a check for 120l.,
of which 20l. is intended by the donor for missionary purposes, and the
other 100l. is left to my disposal, either for the Orphans or the other
part of the work. I took therefore 70l. for the Orphans, and 30l. for
the Day Schools, and the circulation of Bibles and Tracts. I received
likewise from D.D. 5l.
Jan. 25. Besides the seventy-five pounds that had come in on the 6th,
the sum of 53l. 18s. 0 ¼ d. more came in up to this day.--Now, after
having paid this evening for the house-keeping expenses for one week in
advance, all the money in my hands for the Orphans is again gone; yet,
by the Lord's goodness, we have our stores pretty well supplied, and
besides this the matrons have the current house-keeping expenses for one
week in hand. May the Lord in His faithful love send fresh supplies for
the coming week!
Jan. 27. This afternoon when there was nothing in hand, 1 received from
Guernsey 2l.
Jan. 28, Received from Plymouth 5l. Also 5s. 6d. from the neighbourhood
of Exeter, and 2s. besides. From the neighbourhood of Nottingham 5s.
Jan. 30. By profits from the sale of ladies' baskets 2s.
Jan. 31. One of the labourers in the work gave 10l., and a brother on
his way to Ireland 1l.
Feb. 1. By sale of articles and stockings 3l. 19s. 7 ½ d., anonymously
2d., from sister F. 10s., proceeds of an Orphan-box 12s. 6 ¾ d., by
sale of stockings 8s. 5d., and by the boxes at the Orphan-Houses 16s.
9d.--When I went this evening to the Orphan-Houses for our usual
prayer meeting on Tuesday evenings, I found that altogether since last
Tuesday evening 25l. 2s. 0 ½ d. had come in; but as there had been many
extra expenses to meet during the week, there was only actually in hand
8l. 8s. 4 ¼ d. Of this I gave to each of the matrons 2l. 2s. 1d, being
only a part of what would be needed during the week, and had then one
farthing left, "like the handful of meal in the barrel."
Feb. 2. This morning on my usual walk before breakfast I felt myself led
out of my usual track, into a direction in which I had not gone for some
months. In stepping over a stile I said to myself: "Perhaps God has a
reason even in this." About five minutes afterwards I met a Christian
gentleman who gave me two sovereigns for the Orphans, and then I knew
the reason, why I had been led this way. Thus the farthing which
remained last evening has been already multiplied.--Evening. This
afternoon I received still further from a brother 1l. 1s., also a letter
from Portsea containing 1l. 10s. The letter from Portsea contained these
words: "Please accept it as another token of the Lord's watchful care
for you and yours." How true! How exemplified in this very donation at
this time!
Feb. 3. This morning I received by the first delivery three letters,
each containing further supplies. The first, from Sherborne, enclosed a
post-office order for 1l. 15s., of which 1l. is for missionary purposes,
and 15s. for the Orphans. The second, from Yorkshire, contained two half
Five Pound Notes, which 10l. is left to my disposal, yet it is requested
that a part of it should go to the destitute Irish. I put therefore 5l.
to the relief of the Irish, and 5l. to the Orphan Fund. The third
letter, from Marlborough, contained 1l. for the Orphans.--Thus I have
now all that is needed in the way of house-keeping money for the
remainder of this week; but I am now waiting upon God for about 25l. to
provide each of the 32 Orphan Boys above seven years old with a new suit
of clothes.
The reader might say, "You are continually in need. No sooner is the one
demand met, than another comes. Do you not find it a trying life, and
are you not tired of it?" My reply is, It is true I am more or less
continually in need in connexion with this work. And if I were to tell
out all my heart to the reader concerning it, he would have still more
reason to say that I am continually in need. For what I have here
written is almost exclusively about the way in which God has been
pleased to supply me with money for carrying on the work; but I do
deliberately state that this, much as it might appear to one or the
other, is by no means the chief thing that I stand in need of from day
to day. I will just hint at a few other things. Sickness among the
children, very difficult and tedious cases, in which, notwithstanding
all the means which are used month after month, yea year after year, the
children remain ill. Nothing remains but either to keep them, or to send
them to the Parish Union to which they belong, as they have no relatives
able to provide for them. The very fact of having cared for them and
watched over them for years, only endears them the more to us, and would
make it the more trying to send them back to their parish. This is a
"need" which brings me to God. Here is prayer required, not only for
means which such sick children call for, but for guidance and wisdom
from on High.--Sometimes children are to be placed out as servants or
apprentices. A suitable place is needed, or else they had better remain
under our care. The obtaining of this suitable place is a "need" indeed.
It is more difficult to be obtained than money. Sometimes for many weeks
have I had to wait upon God, to have this "need" supplied; but He has
always at last helped.--Sometimes great has been my "need" of wisdom
and guidance in order to know how certain children ought to be treated
under particular circumstances; and especially how to behave towards
certain apprentices or servants who were formerly in the Orphan-Houses.
A "need" in this respect is no small thing; though I have found that in
this and in all other matters concerning which I was in "need," I have
been helped, provided I was indeed able to wait patiently upon God. That
word, "godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the
life that now is, and of that which is to come" (1 Tim. iv. 8), I have
in times almost without number found to be true in my own experience.
Further, when one or the other of the labourers needed to leave the
work on account of health, or for other reasons, I have been at such
times in far greater "need" than when I required money for the various
objects of the Institution. I could only have such "need" supplied by
waiting upon God. I could do nothing but speak to my heavenly Father
about this matter, and He has always helped. One of the greatest
difficulties connected with this work is, to obtain suitable Godly
persons for it. So many things are to be taken into the account.
Suitable age, health, gift, experience, love for children, true
godliness, a ready mind to serve God in the work and not themselves, a
ready mind to bear with the many trials and difficulties connected with
it, a manifest purpose to labour not for the sake of the remuneration,
but to serve God in their work; surely, to obtain Godly persons, in whom
these qualifications, even in some measure, are found combined, is not
an easy matter. Not that any one will suppose me to mean that I am
looking out for perfect fellow-labourers. Not that any one will suppose
that my fellow-labourers are referred to by rue, as if they were without
weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. I am myself far, very far from
being without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. Moreover, I never
expect to find fellow-labourers for this work who have not their
weaknesses; but this I do mean to say, that the work of God in my hands
is of that character, and, by God's grace, is really carried on with
such a true purpose to serve God thereby (however much I and my
fellow-labourers may fail), that it is with me a matter of deep moment
to find truly suitable individuals for it, in whom, as much as possible,
the above qualifications should be found united. And, however much there
may be wanting, this is more and more my aim, that I may obtain such
helpers; and hence it can be easily perceived bow great my "need" must
be again and again on this very account. I do here especially advise,
that if any should apply in future for situations in connexion with this
work, they would keep these remarks before them; for, by God's grace,
it is my purpose never to give to any persons a situation in connexion
with the Institution, if they are not suitable for it according to the
light which God gives me.--Further, that the labourers work happily
together among themselves, and that I go on happily in service with
them; that I be their servant, on the one hand, and yet, on the other,
maintain the place which God has given me in this work; surely, if any
one carefully looks at this, he will at once see, that there is a
difficulty and a "need" far greater than any that is connected with
money. Oh, how these matters lead one to call upon God! How they
continually make one sensible of one's "need!" Truly, I am in need, in
continual need. Many more points might be referred to in connexion with
this work, in which I am more or less continually in "need;" but I will
only mention one it is now many years since I have made my boast in the
living God in so public a manner by my publications. On this account
Satan unquestionably is waiting for my halting, and, if left to myself,
I should fall a prey to him. Pride, unbelief, or other sins would be my
ruin, and lead me to bring a most awful disgrace upon the name of Jesus.
Here is then a "need," a great "need." I do feel myself in "need," in
great "need," even to be upheld by God; for I cannot stand for a
moment, if left to myself. Oh, that none of my dear readers might admire
me, and be astonished at my faith, and think of me as if I were beyond
unbelief! Oh, that none of my dear readers might think, that I could not
be puffed up by pride, or in other respects most awfully dishonour God,
and thus at last, though God has used me in blessing hitherto to so
many, become a beacon to the church of Christ! No, I am as weak as ever,
and need as much as ever to be upheld as to faith, and every other
grace. I am therefore in "need," in great "need;" and therefore help me,
dear Christian reader, with your prayers.
I allow, then, moat fully that I am in continual "need." This is the
case with regard to money matters, because the work is now so large. A
few hundred pounds go but a little way. There have been often weeks,
when my demands have been several hundred pounds a week, and it can
therefore easily be supposed that even if large donations come in, they
do not last long. But whilst I allow this, I desire that the Christian
reader may keep in mind that there are other necessities, and even
greater ones than those connected with money.--Should, however, the
reader say that he thinks "I must find this a very trying life, and that
I must be tired of it," I beg to state, that he is entirely mistaken. I
do not find the life in connexion with this work a trying life, but a
very happy one. It is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and
heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh
answers which I have obtained from God, after waiting upon Him for help
and blessing; and the longer I have had to wait upon Him, or the greater
my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came,
which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand
of God the more manifest. I therefore solemnly declare that I do not
find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and I am
consequently not in the least tired of it. Straits and difficulties I
expected from the very beginning. Before I began this service I expected
them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the church at large might be
strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and
unreservedly to trust in the living God, by seeing His hand stretched
out in nay behalf in the hour of need. I did, therefore, expect trials,
great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of God, and the
profit of God's dear children, did I desire to pass through them, if
only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of God with me. The
longer I go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or
another become; but, at the same time, the happier I am in this my
service, and the more assured, that I am engaged as the Lord would have
me to be. How then could I be tired of carrying on the work of God on
such principles as I do?