_In the new Commercial Court. A thin sprinkling of Juniors, one
or two Q.C.'s, Ushers, and the usual contingent of people from
the street who are glad of shelter and a seat, and who do not
even pretend to take any interest in the proceedings._
[Illustration]
_The Judge._ Odd, that the mercantile community does not even now seem
attracted to this Court. You are sure, Mr. REDBAGGE, that the
inducements which we offer to litigants are widely known?
_Mr. Redbagge, Q.C._ The officer of the Court tells me, m'lud, that he
has sent round circulars to every mercantile establishment in the
City.
_The Judge._ Our scale of commissions is surely generous enough! By
the new Rules of Court which I have made, a bonus of £500 is offered
to any merchant who swears, on affidavit, that he was about to resort
to arbitration but decided to come here instead. Then I think the plan
of giving his head clerk one year's rent of his dwelling and a free
fortnight at Yarmouth for himself and his family, as a reward for
influencing his principal to resort to us, was rather adroit--eh, Mr.
REDBAGGE?
_Mr. Redbagge, Q.C._ Excellent! And the boxes of chocolate to his
door-keeper, and free tickets to the music-halls for other subordinate
members of his establishment, _ought_ to have brought a plethora of
business to this court.
_The Judge._ Quite so. Not to mention the fact that we pay counsel's
and solicitor's fees out of public funds, instead of looking to the
litigants themselves to provide them. If _that_ isn't cheap justice, I
should be glad to know what is.
_Mr. Redbagge_ (_deferentially_). And the mercantile classes must
surely be aware that no Judge on the Bench has a greater knowledge of
the law than your ludship.
_The Judge_ (_ignoring the flattery_). Unfortunately the mercantile
classes seem also to have a knowledge of the law, and not to like what
they know of it. So they resort to the ruinous--I repeat, the
thoroughly ruinous--practice of arbitration.
_Mr. Redbagge._ It is really a serious state of things, m'lud--for us,
not for your ludship. "Those who live to plead, must plead to
live"--and it's a little difficult to plead when--(_breaking
down_)--there are no clients.
_The Judge_ (_soothingly_). We must think of some other plan of
attracting them, I suppose. How would it be if, instead of troubling
them to come here, the Court offered to go to their offices and sit
_there?_ Or perhaps a few baronetcies scattered about among them might
have the desired effect. Well (_rising_) as there are no cases on our
list, and no prospect of any, the Court is forced to adjourn!
[_Does so_.
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