BUBBLE AND SQUEAK.

(_By a Grateful Student of the New English Dictionary_.)

I can conjugate the modern verb "to wangle,"

And, if required, translate it into Greek;

I can even tell a wurzel from a mangel;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I still can march eight furlongs at the double,

Although I shall be seventy next week;

I can separate a bubble from a bubble;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I know a catfish differs from a seamew;

I don't expect Bellaggio at Belleek;

I know a cassowary from an emu;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I'm acquainted with the works of HENRY PURZELL

(My mastery of spelling is unique);

I repeat, I know a mangel from a wurzel;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I'm proficient both in jotting and in tittling;

I know a certain cure for boots that creak;

I can see through Mr. KEYNES and _Mr. Britling_;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I can always tell a _hari_ from a _kari_

("_Harakiri_" is a silly pedant's freak);

I can tell the style of CAINE from that of MARIE;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I never take a DEELEY for a DOOLEY;

I never take a putter for a cleek;

I never talk of HEALY, meaning HOOLEY;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I understand the sense of "oils are spotty";

I know the height of Siniolchum's peak;

I know that some may think my ditty dotty;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.