(_In consequence of the Growing Demand for Lighter Liquors_)
SCENE--_The interior of a Dining-room. The ladies have just left,
and the gentlemen are discussing their beverages._
_Smith._ I say, Brown, if it is not an impertinent question, where did
you get that toast-and-water?
_Brown._ I thought you would be deceived! It was a cup, not the pure
article! My butler is a first-rate hand at it. I will give you the
recipe if you like.
_Smith._ Do. It was excellent. What _is_ the secret?
_Brown._ Something, I fancy, to do with watercress.
_Jones._ I say, Brown, that was really very nice sherbet. Turkish or
Persian?
_Brown._ Neither. Came from the Stores. Home-made.
_Jones._ Well, it certainly was capital. I could have sworn that it had
been manufactured east of the Levant.
_Brown._ More likely east of Temple Bar. And now shall we have a
whitewash before we join the ladies?
_Six Guests._ No, thanks! Really not!
_Half-a-dozen more of the Company._ Really not! No, thanks!
_Brown._ Nonsense! (_Produces a pint bottle of lemonade._) Nonsense, I
repeat! Look here, my boys. (_Locks door._) Not one of you fellows shall
leave the room until you have finished _this_!
[_Draws cork of pint bottle, and distributes the lemonade amidst the
good-natured protestations of the revellers. Scene closes in upon
the temperance orgy._
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PERSONAL GRIEVANCE
"I say, won't they let _you_ go into long trousers?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFE