SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
Ha! Ha!
AGNUS
And now I find it’s a criminal’s body, and the police are looking for
it. Mr. Magnus—please—
THE DEVIL
It will make me more merciful, Magnus.
[_The light moves sulkily to the window. The storm has blown over and
the rain is turning to snow. However, the light is bright enough for
The Devil to turn out the candles._
THE DEVIL (_to the light_)
When you come back, wag once—like this (_wags head_) if the Dutchman’s
mattress is torn up. Twice if it isn’t.
[_The light flies out through the window._
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_throwing up window and calling after the light_)
Over the shoemaker’s shop—next block—third floor—you can’t miss it.
(_Puts down the window_)
THE DEVIL (_to Schwartzenhopfel_)
Let’s spare his feelings while he’s gone. I wonder how big a check he
can write.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_excitedly_)
I read he could sign one for two million dollars—ready money—a check
for two millions—_Ach Gott!_ That was why I wanted to blow him up.
THE DEVIL (_coldly_)
Well, you’ve got your chance now. A chance no anarchist ever had
before. You anarchists always complain you can’t get close enough to
millionaires. _You’re_ close enough—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_turning pale_)
What do you mean?
THE DEVIL (_handing him a sharp paper-cutter of steel_)
Dig this (_taps it_) into that—(_Taps Schwartzenhopfel’s heart_)
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_turning pale_)
That would be murder!
THE DEVIL
And what’s throwing bombs?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_protesting_)
I don’t throw ’em. I make ’em. I never threw one.
THE DEVIL
What’s the difference?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
I never sell ’em to blow up people. Only houses and bridges and
railroads and—(_vaguely_)—er—places—
THE DEVIL
You just said you wanted to blow up Magnus.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_hanging his head_)
I don’t blow up nobody!
THE DEVIL (_scornfully_)
Socialist!!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_furiously_)
Socialist? Bourgeoisie! Children! Talkers! Bah!
THE DEVIL (_tapping him_)
Bourgeoisie! Child! Talker! Bah!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
You lie—
THE DEVIL
Do I? (_Offers paper-cutter again_) Prove it! (_Makes the motion of
stabbing_) Anarchists claim they wouldn’t let John Magnus live one
minute if they had the power to kill him. Here’s the power— (_Offers
knife again_)
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
_Teufel! Teufel!_ You _are_ a devil.
THE DEVIL
Dr. Agnus, please! (_He fingers paper-cutter_) You know, when the
Anarchist Council hears of the chance you’re throwing away—pouff! That
for you—(_stabbing motion_) I don’t know but what they’re right. This
is too good a chance to miss. (_He takes Schwartzenhopfel by the collar
and flourishes the dagger_)
AGNUS
Here! Quit that! Quit!
THE DEVIL (_fixes him with a look that makes him fall back_) For
the sake of the thousands of lives Magnus has taken to make his
millions—(_the dagger descends_)
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_on his knees, howling lustily_)
Police! Police! Police!
[_Judge Critty appears at the window looking in from garden, sees the
tableau inside without being seen himself, and runs off with a shocked,
terrified expression on his face._
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
Police! Police!
THE DEVIL (_throws down the knife and laughs heartily_)
The police? An anarchist bawling for the police! The police! If the
Anarchist Council heard that, they’d boil you in Standard Oil. Get up!
(_Sneers_) Anarchist!
[_Schwartzenhopfel crawls to his feet shamefacedly._
THE DEVIL (_fixes him with his eye_)
I might have known that a man who makes bombs to blow up—for all he
knows—women and children, would be just your kind of a coward! Oh, you
human beings! You make me ill! (_He takes a check-book from the pocket
of Schwartzenhopfel’s coat_) What did you think I gave you this body
for, you fool? To kill it? I need it too much. Where did you read that
about the two million check?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
In a London paper.
THE DEVIL
Then there’s a chance, it’s true. If you’d said a New York
one—Write!—(_Hands the check-book to Schwartzenhopfel_)
[_Schwartzenhopfel looks inquiringly at him._
THE DEVIL
Pay to Addington Agnus—two million—
[_Schwartzenhopfel writes out the check and signs it._
THE DEVIL
Now endorse it so: “This money is given to Dr. Addington Agnus to
further scientific researches of inestimable value. The amount
specified need detain no bank official in my employ from cashing it.
John Magnus.”
[_Schwartzenhopfel writes while The Devil is dictating._
THE DEVIL (_takes the check and scrutinizes it_)
Look at that, Agnus. You should be the happiest man in the world.
AGNUS (_scrutinizing the check, the man once more forgotten in the
scientist_) His signature! Magnus’s! Why, the check’s good!
[_It is now snowing hard, the snow encrusting the windows._
THE DEVIL
Of course it’s good.
AGNUS
But—a forgery!
THE DEVIL
Can you get anybody to believe that coward over there isn’t Magnus?
Now, aren’t you glad I happened along this morning?
AGNUS
It means—success—
THE DEVIL
Wiser people—better world—morals adjust themselves. Forty crooks and
one honest man in a community, the crooks would elect the honest
man—because wisdom teaches them not to trust crooks. The only incurable
crime is ignorance!
AGNUS (_protesting_)
The only one!
THE DEVIL
Who ever heard of a professional crook being a murderer, for instance?
Only ignorant amateurs—like Schwartzenhopfel here.—If he wasn’t
ignorant, he wouldn’t murder.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
I don’t murder.
THE DEVIL
Tell that to the police. Every bomb you make is a potential murder. Why
are they looking for you? Answer!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_reluctantly_)
Somebody used one of my bombs somewhere. I guess somebody else
snitched. And they’re trying to get something on me!
AGNUS (_to The Devil, bitterly_)
And you say I ought to be the happiest man in the world—robbed of the
girl I love—of my name, my reputation—in danger of arrest, jail, maybe
the electric chair! Very happy! Oh, yes! Ha! Ha! Ha! Can’t you give me
a broken arm or leg or head to make my happiness complete?
THE DEVIL
But think of the triumph of science. (_Waves the check_) What’s one
person’s feelings compared with the good of the world—
AGNUS
Nothing—except when you happen to be that person. (_Feverishly_) What
shall I do about the police?
THE DEVIL (_points to Schwartzenhopfel_)
I’ll shift his soul over to his own body and make him pay the penalty
of his own crimes—
[_Schwartzenhopfel makes a dash for the door, opens it, and runs wildly
out into the snow._
THE DEVIL (_at the door_)
Come back! Come back!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_outside_)
So you can switch souls on me! Not much—
THE DEVIL (_to Agnus, groaning_)
A mad anarchist let loose with a billion dollars! (_Shouting_) Come
back! I won’t do it!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_outside_)
My mother always taught me never to put any trust in The Devil.
THE DEVIL (_at the door_)
If you don’t come back, I’ll run the paper-cutter through your real
body and rid the earth of you. (_He makes a threatening pass at Agnus
with the knife_)
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_outside_)
What do I care? I’ve got a better one, and all the money I want. You
won’t be able to get near me. And if you try, I’ll have you put in jail
as an anarchist. I’m John Magnus, now. (_His voice comes from farther
away_) And Dr. Agnus is the man the police want.
THE DEVIL (_sternly_)
Come back! Or I’ll find a way to make you! Come back!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_still outside but slightly afraid_)
Promise then! No devil’s tricks! Keep your eyes to yourself.
THE DEVIL
I promise! (_To Agnus_) I need him! He can repudiate that check.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_still outside_)
How can I believe you!
THE DEVIL (_in awful tones_)
You worm! Doubt me, do you?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_whining_)
All right, Captain: all right! (_He sneaks back, holding up one arm
defensively_)
THE DEVIL (_closing door_)
You disobey me again and I’ll make you wish wildcats had stolen you
from your mother’s knee.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_whining_)
Well, who wants to go to jail?
[_The light reappears through the window._
AGNUS (_feverishly_)
There’s Mr. Magnus back. (_Addressing the light_) Mr.
Magnus—sir—what—what—is it all right?
[_The light bobs once solemnly._
AGNUS (_relieved_)
It’s all right.
THE DEVIL
He wagged once. That means the mattress is torn up.
AGNUS
I asked him: “Is it all right?” And he nodded. (_To the light_) Didn’t
you, Mr. Magnus?
[_The light wags crosswise, as though it was shaking its head._
THE DEVIL
He says “no.”
AGNUS
No? Yes?
THE DEVIL
Look here; we agreed: if the bombs were found, once; not found, twice.
(_To the light_) Which is it? Once or twice?
[_The light wags once._
AGNUS (_wildly_)
Oh! oh! oh! I must get away! Hide!
[_Fanny flings open the door without knocking._
THE DEVIL (_to Agnus, indicating her_)
What did I tell you!
[_Agnus stops, forgetting all about the police._
THE DEVIL (_to Agnus_)
Go on! Get away! Hide! Do it!
[_Agnus stares at Fanny. Fanny advances as though searching for
something. The Devil looks at her inquiringly._
FANNY (_to Schwartzenhopfel_)
Mr. Magnus, you needn’t think I came back to see him. I left my veil
somewhere about.
THE DEVIL (_winking to Agnus_)
Denver to San Francisco—tooth-brush!
FANNY
I wish you’d help me find it and let me go, Mr. Magnus.
THE DEVIL
So you lost your tooth-brush?
FANNY
Mr. Magnus—my veil—
THE DEVIL
Veil—tooth-brush—any excuse will do.
FANNY (_ignoring him_)
Mr. Magnus, your chauffeur says the snow’s getting deep. We should
start immediately.
THE DEVIL
You take the car, Fanny. You and your mother. You go back. Mr. Magnus
stays here.
[_Schwartzenhopfel smiles weakly._
FANNY
Mr. Magnus—you—staying here—with this person?
[_Schwartzenhopfel smiles more weakly._
FANNY
Not on my account, Mr. Magnus, please. All is over between us.
THE DEVIL (_instructively_)
In moments of anger, the débutante’s language and the shop-girl’s
cannot be distinguished. That is because—while débutantes are taught
proper language for ordinary things, no one can be taught proper
language for extraordinary things. So, as both débutantes and
shop-girls read the best-selling novels, both go to them for the
language of distress. Hence the similarity. (_With college professor’s
gesture_) Class on Feminine Psychology dismissed for the day. Our next
subject will be: How to Insult Young Ladies so That They Won’t Come
Back.
FANNY
You acknowledge you insulted me then?
THE DEVIL
Cheerfully!
FANNY
You hear that, Mr. Magnus?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_with a weak smile_)
I hear it.
FANNY
And you—in spite of insults to the daughter of the woman you profess to
care for—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
What! (_He starts violently_)
FANNY
You continue under his roof—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
Well, you see, I like the Doc—the Doctor. I am interested in his work.
I just gave—
[_The Devil nudges him._
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_brightly_)
Oh, it’s all right, Doctor. I was just going to tell her I gave you a
check for two million dollars!
[_Fanny stands speechless._
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_anxiously, seeing The Devil scowling_) Oh, quite
legitimate—scientific research. For scientific research—er—rightly
researched, you know—what is two million—that is, to me!
THE DEVIL
You fool!
FANNY (_to The Devil_)
Is this so? (_Sees the check in his hand, takes it quickly and stands
for a second quiet; then to Schwartzenhopfel, bitterly_) Two million!
And I suppose he’s not allowed to spend more than two thousand on
himself—and wife—
THE DEVIL (_sotto voce_)
Say “yes.”
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to The Devil_)
What did you say?
[_The Devil clenches his fists._
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Fanny, brightly_)
Oh, no limitations—he can spend anything he likes on himself—
FANNY (_eagerly_)
Say half of what you would have paid him at the Mills?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_anxious to regain The Devil’s good-will_)
Half? All! All! No strings to my generosity, young lady. I
want him to be happy at his work. He can buy an automobile—or
a—yacht—or—er—jewellery—or—anything—
FANNY (_throwing herself into The Devil’s arms_)
Addington! Addington! At last!
[_Agnus clenches his fists and starts across room_.
THE DEVIL (_in an injured tone_)
I thought you were going away never to return?
FANNY
And would you have been unhappy, dearest?
THE DEVIL
You just said: “All is over between us”—
FANNY
Just to see what you would say—and I saw—you grew quite red, Addington—
THE DEVIL (_bitterly_)
Yes—to keep from laughing—
FANNY
Ah! Addington! You are being proud now. Look at me! How I have sunk my
pride, determined to get to the bottom of this. I have been wrong. I
acknowledge it. I had no right to interfere with your work. I came back
to tell you that—to sacrifice myself, too—
[_The Devil stares blankly at her. Agnus nudges him fiercely to take
his arm away from Fanny. The Devil at last takes his arm away._
FANNY (_who has been talking in the meantime_)
But Mr. Magnus has repented. He has seen my side of the case, too. We
can have a town house now, Addington, with that two million—and two
motors—
THE DEVIL (_sarcastically_)
Oh, can we?
FANNY (_reproachfully_)
Remember, I was ready to sacrifice everything for you. I didn’t know
Mr. Magnus would be so generous. And now—the marriage, dear—when?
[_Doll Blondin reënters from the stairway, hatless and dressed in a
shirtwaist._
DOLL BLONDIN
Who’s going to help your man bring up my trunks?
[_Fanny disengages herself from the Devil and stares at Doll: first
wildly, then savagely, then catlike._
FANNY (_tragically to The Devil_)
Explain!
AGNUS (_wildly_)
Fanny, I can explain everything.
[_Fanny pushes him away. Her look is that of a tragedy-queen’s as she
advances with folded arms toward The Devil, who smiles impishly, sure
now that he has rid himself of her for good._
FANNY
Explain, Addington Agnus!
[_The Devil ignites a cigarette at the electric lighter, shrugs his
shoulders and smiles again._
DOLL BLONDIN (_who has come down to The Devil_)
Well, how about those trunks?
THE DEVIL
Oh, Schwartzenhopfel will help you—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_indignantly, as if to say: “Remember I am John
Magnus”_) What?
THE DEVIL (_pointing to Agnus_) Him!
[_Agnus folds his arms also and does not stir._
THE DEVIL (_to Agnus_)
Best thing—if the police should look in—
AGNUS (_unhappily_)
What do I care for the police—or anything—now!
FANNY (_to The Devil in a dangerously cold tone_)
I have _asked_ for an explanation!
THE DEVIL (_irritated_)
Oh, don’t try to Sarah Bernhardt it, Fanny. You haven’t the talent.
Amateurs trying to be dramatic are only comic.
FANNY (_turning suddenly to Doll Blondin with a
“woman-to-woman-no-foolishness” air_) What are you doing in this house?
Are you the new housekeeper, or the parlor-maid?
DOLL BLONDIN (_half stunned and half admiring_) You cat, you!
FANNY (_loudly_)
Who is this woman?
DOLL BLONDIN (_aroused_)
I’m as much the lady as you! Howling and crying around here. What’s the
matter? Are you crazy? (_Suddenly indignant_) Woman? Do you think—(_Her
Broadway mock modesty and pretended lady-like morality halt her from
saying what she means, so she explains shortly_) I’m boarding here!
(_Violently_) How dared you think anything else—Woman, yourself!
FANNY (_with a dry laugh_)
Boarding? Can’t you think of a better story than that? Why should he
take boarders?
DOLL BLONDIN (_shortly_)
Because he needs my twenty a week, I suppose.
[_Fanny laughs still more dryly._
DOLL BLONDIN (_enraged_)
Well, anyway, he ran after me in the street and called me in. (_Seeing
she has hurt Fanny, she encourages the innuendo wickedly_) Said price
didn’t matter—he said. (_Violently again_) But have no fear: I won’t
stay here and be insulted: I’ll go—
FANNY
You had better—
THE DEVIL
Miss Blondin, if the place, or the food, or the service is
unsatisfactory—go. Otherwise—stay. This lady is nothing to me.
DOLL BLONDIN (_in cool admiration_)
Well, you _are_ a brute!
FANNY (_to The Devil, seeing the admiration and rendered wild by it_)
I understand now! This is why you’ve changed so suddenly. The sight of
this woman of the street—
DOLL BLONDIN (_blazing_)
What?
FANNY (_a little alarmed_)
Woman in the street, I said—
DOLL BLONDIN
Oh!
FANNY
And you forget your honor, your duty, your religion—
THE DEVIL
What has religion got to do with it?
FANNY
Everything. Well, I won’t permit it. I care nothing for you. I hate
you. But there’s a law in the land that protects defenceless women—
THE DEVIL
Defenceless? Not unless they’re dumb!
FANNY
And I’ll see what the law says. I’ll publish you in every newspaper in
the country, and I’ll tell how the great scientist ran after a strange
woman—a woman he knew nothing about—and begged her to live in his
house so she would be convenient to make love to.
[_Doll Blondin looks at him suspiciously._
FANNY
Then where will your reputation be? Your Nobel prize?
DOLL BLONDIN (_hastily_)
I’m glad I didn’t have my trunks unpacked—
THE DEVIL
Miss Blondin—
DOLL BLONDIN
Who do you think’s paying for my lessons, my education? Think I saved
it out of a chorus salary? If somebody in New York were to hear such a
story, it would be good-bye to taking part of my pay in three sheets.
(_Puts out her hand_) But I’ll run in on you every now and then to say
“Hello.” You are _such_ a brute!
FANNY (_standing between them_)
You’ll do nothing of the sort, d’you hear?
DOLL BLONDIN
Indeed, miss?
FANNY
Indeed, miss, and indeed, miss—and as for you, Addington Agnus, I’ll
stay here in this house—with mother, until our wedding-day—
THE DEVIL (_desperately_)
By Saturn—I wish I could think of something to do to you—
AGNUS (_desperately_)
Tell her the truth—the truth. If you don’t want her, I want her—
[_A noise is heard outside._
FANNY
You!
AGNUS
Yes, I! Fanny, listen! Here is the truth! (_He seizes her, overcome
with love, and embraces and kisses her_)
[_Fanny screams._
AGNUS
Listen, Fanny, I am—
[_The noise increases. The door is thrown open, and through it are seen
a Detective-lieutenant and his two men, all in plain clothes, as well
as Sheriff Peattie and Judge Critty. They appear just in time to see
Agnus embrace Fanny and to hear her scream._
JUDGE CRITTY
Here are the police you called for, Mr. Magnus. I brought them as fast
as I could.
[_Schwartzenhopfel dodges instinctively at the word “Police.” Agnus
releases Fanny and plunges headforemost onto the sofa, where he hides
ostrich-like among the pillows._
JUDGE CRITTY (_pointing to The Devil_)
There’s the gentleman!
PEATTIE
What? Doctor Agnus?
JUDGE CRITTY
He’s as much my friend as yours, Constable. But he must have gone
insane. I saw him—through that window—threatening Mr. Magnus there with
a knife. Mr. Magnus was—I regret to say—reduced to kneeling for mercy
and calling for the police—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_with shamefaced recollection_)
Oh, that was—that was—well—(_Looks to The Devil for assistance_)
THE DEVIL
That was only a little play we were rehearsing for charity. Don’t you
understand—a rehearsal—Ha! Ha! A rehearsal!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
That’s it—play—charity—rehearsal—
JUDGE CRITTY (_covered with confusion_)
I’m sure I’m sorry—
PEATTIE
I’m right glad—I’d hate to see Senator Agnus’s son in trouble. My
apologies, Doctor—for these three New York detectives too—they just
happened to be by when the Judge located me, and they came along to
help me—thought it was something desperate. We’ll go—
FANNY (_furiously_)
One moment! I want that man punished. (_Points to Agnus on the sofa_)
For the second time today—you saw him—he has grossly insulted me!
[_Peattie looks around, taken aback._
FANNY (_stamping her foot_)
I want him punished, I say!
LIEUTENANT (_gruffly, pointing to Agnus’s buried face_) Looks guilty,
Cap. Trying to hide like that the minute he sees the police.
PEATTIE (_takes one quick step forward and jerks Agnus to his feet_)
Here, what about this? Can’t have ladies insulted hereabouts, you know.
LIEUTENANT (_with a sudden change of face_)
By God, boys—the anarchist! (_Draws revolver_)
[_The women scream. The two detectives draw their revolvers also._
PEATTIE
What? Him? The fellow you been looking for all day? (_Still holding
Agnus by the collar_)
LIEUTENANT
That’s the bird!
[_Peattie lets loose Agnus and draws ancient-looking Colt’s revolver,
which he points at him. Agnus is now ringed around by four men with
levelled weapons._
LIEUTENANT (_taking out handcuffs_)
Throw up your hands, Henry Schwartzenhopfel—
[_Agnus throws up his hands._
LIEUTENANT
Fan him for artillery, Hennessy.
[_The Second Detective is about to search Agnus._
THE DEVIL
Stop! (_All stare at The Devil_) _He’s my friend._
PEATTIE
But, Doc—he’s a dynamiter—
THE DEVIL
No matter, stop!
LIEUTENANT
Listen, Mister—Doctor—whoever you are—you can’t give orders to the Law—
THE DEVIL
Yes, I can; and the Law can give them to you. And it does; now! There’s
the Law. (_Points to Schwartzenhopfel_) The man who makes you a
policeman; who makes your Chief of Police; your Commissioner; who makes
Mayors, Governors, Presidents! You’re in the presence of Money, you
oxen! Take off your hats _to_ it—and take your orders _from_ it—_Mr.
John Magnus_—The Law.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_suddenly realizing his power_)
And I order you to let Henry Schwartzenhopfel alone, now and all the
time. Schwartzenhopfel (_with his hand on Agnus’s shoulder_) is _my_
friend, too.
DETECTIVES (_moving away in awe_)
_John_ Magnus!
FANNY (_throwing her arms around The Devil, whose look of triumph
changes to one of hopeless dismay_)
My Hero!
CURTAIN
THE THIRD ACT
_The same room as before, and immediately following the preceding
situation—not even a few seconds later, for the Detectives and the
Constable are just putting away their revolvers._
_Doll Blondin, her admiration for The Devil growing, looks triumphant
as he irritably disengages Fanny’s embrace. Some hope is revived in
Doll of being rid of her._
_Fanny’s look is grimly determined._
_Agnus, relieved from a terrible situation, looks for the first time
gratefully at The Devil._
_Schwartzenhopfel, feeling his power as Magnus and enjoying it,
has assumed an air of enormous importance—by the simple method of
flattening his jowls on the collar and clearing his throat, thus
deepening his voice._
_Judge Critty is divided between his desire to serve Magnus and his
horror at open defiance of the Law—when he knows Magnus is aware that
the Law could have been circumvented secretly. He has the air of
saying, “Why didn’t you tell me, and I’d have arranged it.” Also his
manner is extra-apologetic and anxious, for he has blundered, and he
fears the loss of Magnus’s good offices._
_The three detectives are blankly dismayed at having crossed the path
of one so powerful as Magnus. They are anxious to retreat, but realize
that some concessions must be made to the conventions._
_St. Elmo Peattie, the Sheriff, is simply confounded: for he is
an honest villager, fearing God, and, consequently, no man. He is
shocked at The Devil daring to put any man—Magnus, Taft, Wilson,
Morgan, Rockefeller, or even Roosevelt—above the Law. Though he has
no authority in the matter—the warrants being in the Lieutenant’s
hands—Peattie feels called upon to protest in the name of civic
dignity, and to uphold the faith of his fathers—the faith in which
Jefferson wrote; on which Burr, a Vice-President, was convicted of
treason; for which Washington fought and Nathan Hale died._
PEATTIE (_to the Detectives_)
What’s gone wrong, pardners? Why don’t you handcuff that there
dynamiter?
LIEUTENANT (_roughly_)
What dynamiter?
PEATTIE (_points to Agnus_)
Fellow you’ve been hunting for all day—
LIEUTENANT (_taking out his note-book_)
Will you swear he’s a dynamiter?
PEATTIE
I ain’t never heard of him before. How’ll _I_ swear?
LIEUTENANT (_trying to make his tone official by speaking sternly, as
if determined to get at evidence_)
You’ve seen him about the village every day?
PEATTIE
Sure—but—
LIEUTENANT
Just answer my questions: how has he behaved?
PEATTIE
I see him going into Pete Mellish’s and into Gus Hobbs’s—
LIEUTENANT (_with heavy constabulary levity_)
And—did he try to dynamite—er—Pete Jellyfish—or Corn Cob’s—whatever
their names are?
PEATTIE
Hush, man! Pete’s our grocer. Gus’s our butcher. Prisoner’s human,
ain’t he? He’s got to eat—