Volodya made a strong effort of the will and refrained from the
shadows, despite strong temptation. He tried to make amends for his
neglected lessons.
But the shadows beckoned to him persistently. In vain he ceased to
invite them with his fingers, in vain he ceased to arrange objects that
would cast a new shadow on the wall; the shadows themselves surrounded
him—they were unavoidable, importunate shadows.
Objects themselves no longer interested Volodya, he almost ceased to
see them; all his attention was centred on their shadows.
When he was walking home and the sun happened to peep through the
autumn clouds, as through smoky vestments, he was overjoyed because
there was everywhere an awakening of the shadows.
The shadows from the lamplight hovered near him in the evening at home.
The shadows were everywhere. There were the sharp shadows from the
flames, there were the fainter shadows from diffused daylight. All of
them crowded toward Volodya, recrossed each other, and enveloped him in
an unbreakable network.
Some of the shadows were incomprehensible, mysterious; others reminded
him of something, suggested something. But there were also the beloved,
the intimate, the familiar shadows; these Volodya himself, however
casually, sought out and caught everywhere from among the confused
wavering of the others, the more remote shadows. But they were sad,
these beloved, familiar shadows.
Whenever Volodya found himself seeking these shadows his conscience
tormented him, and he went to his mother to make a clean breast of it.
Once it happened that Volodya could not conquer his temptation. He
stood up close to the wall and made a shadow of the bull. His mother
found him.
“Again!” she exclaimed angrily. “I really shall have to ask the
director to put you into the small room.”
Volodya flushed violently and answered morosely: “There is a wall there
also. The walls are everywhere.”
“Volodya,” exclaimed his mother sorrowfully, “what are you saying!”
But Volodya already repented of his rudeness, and he was crying.
“Mamma, I don’t know myself what’s happening to me!”