I return to Hamburg--A Lutheran Pastor pronounces me to be a scabby
Sheep, and unworthy of Admission into the Christian Fold--I enter the
Gymnasium, and frighten the Chief Rabbi out of his Wits.
I made a prosperous journey back to Hamburg, but here I fell into
circumstances of the deepest distress. I lodged in a miserable house,
had nothing to eat, and did not know what to do. I had received too much
education to return to Poland, to spend my life in misery without
rational occupation or society, and to sink back into the darkness of
superstition and ignorance, from which I had hardly delivered myself
with so much labour. On the other hand, to succeed in Germany was a
result on which I could not calculate, owing to my ignorance of the
language, as well as of the manners and customs of the people, to which
I had never yet been able to adapt myself properly. I had learnt no
particular profession, I had not distinguished myself in any special
science, I was not even master of any language in which I could make
myself perfectly intelligible. It occurred to me, therefore, that for me
there was no alternative left, but to embrace the Christian religion,
and get myself baptised in Hamburg. Accordingly I resolved to go to the
first clergyman I should come upon, and inform him of my resolution, as
well as of my motives for it, without any hypocrisy, in a truthful and
honest fashion. But as I could not express myself well orally, I put my
thoughts into writing in German with Hebrew characters, went to a
schoolmaster, and got him to copy it in German characters. The purport
of my letter was in brief as follows:--
"I am a native of Poland, belonging to the Jewish nation, destined by my
education and studies to be a rabbi; but in the thickest darkness I have
perceived some light. This induced me to search further after light and
truth, and to free myself completely from the darkness of superstition
and ignorance. In order to this end, which could not be attained in my
native place, I came to Berlin, where by the support of some enlightened
men of our nation I studied for some years--not indeed after any plan,
but merely to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. But as our nation is
unable to use, not only such planless studies, but even those conducted
on the most perfect plan, it cannot be blamed for becoming tired of
them, and pronouncing their encouragement to be useless. I have
therefore resolved, in order to secure temporal as well as eternal
happiness, which depends on the attainment of perfection, and in order
to become useful to myself as well as others, to embrace the Christian
religion. The Jewish religion, it is true, comes, in its articles of
faith, nearer to reason than Christianity. But in practical use the
latter has an advantage over the former; and since morality, which
consists not in opinions but in actions, is the aim of all religion in
general, clearly the latter comes nearer than the former to this aim.
Moreover, I hold the mysteries of the Christian religion for that which
they are, that is, allegorical representations of the truths that are
most important for man. By this means I make my faith in them harmonise
with reason, but I cannot believe them according to their common
meaning. I beg therefore most respectfully an answer to the question,
whether after this confession I am worthy of the Christian religion or
not. In the former case I am ready to carry my proposal into effect; but
in the latter, I must give up all claim to a religion which enjoins me
to lie, that is, to deliver a confession of faith which contradicts my
reason."
The schoolmaster, to whom I dictated this, fell into astonishment at my
audacity; never before had he listened to such a confession of faith. He
shook his head with much concern, interrupted the writing several times,
and became doubtful, whether the mere copying was not itself a sin. With
great reluctance he copied it out, merely to get rid of the thing. I
went then to a prominent clergyman, delivered my letter, and begged for
a reply. He read it with great attention, fell likewise into
astonishment, and on finishing entered into conversation with me.
"So," he said, "I see your intention is to embrace the Christian
religion, merely in order to improve your temporal circumstances."
"Excuse me, Herr Pastor," I replied, "I think I have made it clear
enough in my letter, that my object is the attainment of perfection. To
this, it is true, the removal of all hindrances and the improvement of
my external circumstances form an indispensable condition. But this
condition is not the chief end."
"But," said the pastor, "do you not feel any inclination of the soul to
the Christian religion without reference to any external motives?"
"I should be telling a lie, if I were to give you an affirmative
answer."
"You are too much of a philosopher," replied the pastor, "to be able to
become a Christian. Reason has taken the upper hand with you, and faith
must accommodate itself to reason. You hold the mysteries of the
Christian religion to be mere fables, and its commands to be mere laws
of reason. For the present I cannot be satisfied with your confession of
faith. You should therefore pray to God, that He may enlighten you with
His grace, and endow you with the spirit of true Christianity; and then
come to me again."
"If that is the case," I said, "then I must confess, Herr Pastor, that I
am not qualified for Christianity. Whatever light I may receive, I shall
always make it luminous with the light of reason. I shall never believe
that I have fallen upon new truths, if it is impossible to see their
connection with the truths already known to me. I must therefore remain
what I am,--a stiffnecked Jew. My religion enjoins me to _believe_
nothing, but to _think_ the truth and to _practise_ goodness. If I find
any hindrance in this from external circumstances, it is not my fault. I
do all that lies in my power."
With this I bade the pastor goodbye.
The hardships of my journey, coupled with poor food, brought on an ague.
I lay on a straw-bed in a garret, and suffered the want of all
conveniences and refreshments. My landlord, who took pity on me, called
a Jewish physician, who prescribed an emetic which soon cured me of my
fever. The doctor found that I was no common man, stayed to converse
with me for some hours, and begged me, as soon as I recovered, to visit
him.
Meanwhile, however, a young man, who had known me in Berlin, heard of my
arrival. He called on me to say that Herr W----, who had seen me in
Berlin, was now residing in Hamburg, and that I might very properly call
upon him. I did so, and Herr W----, who was a very clever, honourable
man, of a benevolent disposition naturally, asked me what I intended to
do. I represented to him my whole circumstances, and begged for his
advice. He said that in his opinion the unfortunate position of my
affairs arose from the fact, that I had devoted myself with zeal merely
to the acquisition of scientific knowledge, but had neglected the study
of language, and therefore I was unable to communicate my knowledge to
others, or make any use of it. Meanwhile, he thought, nothing had been
lost by delay; and if I was still willing to accommodate myself to the
circumstances, I could attain my object in the gymnasium at Altona,
where his son was studying, while he would provide for my support.
I accepted this offer with many thanks, and went home with a joyful
heart. Meanwhile Herr W---- spoke to the professors of the gymnasium, as
well as to the principal, but more particularly to the syndic, Herr
G----, a man who cannot be sufficiently praised. He represented to them,
that I was a man of uncommon talents, who wanted merely some further
knowledge of language to distinguish himself in the world, and who hoped
to obtain that knowledge by a short residence in the gymnasium. They
acceded to his request. I was matriculated, and had a room assigned to
me, in the institution.
Here I lived for two years in peace and contentment. But the pupils in
such a gymnasium, as may be easily supposed, make very slow progress;
and it was therefore natural that I, who had already made considerable
attainments in science, should find the lessons at times somewhat
tedious. Consequently I did not attend them all, but made a selection to
suit my taste. The Director Dusch I esteemed very highly on account of
his profound scholarship and his excellent character. I therefore
attended the most of his lectures. It is true, the philosophy of
Ernesti, on which he lectured, could not give me much satisfaction, and
just as little did I receive from his lectures on Segner's Mathematical
Compendium. But I derived great benefit from his instructions in the
English language. The Rector H----, a cheerful old man, though somewhat
pedantic, was not altogether pleased with me, because I would not
perform his Latin exercises, and would not learn Greek at all. The
Professor of History began his lectures _ab ovo_ with Adam, and at the
end of the year with a great deal of effort reached as far down as the
building of the Tower of Babel. The teacher of French used for
translation Fenelon's _Sur l'existence de Dieu_,--a work for which I
conceived the greatest dislike, because the author, while appearing to
declaim against Spinozism, in reality argues in its defence.
During the whole period of my residence in the gymnasium the professors
were unable to form any correct idea of me, because they never had an
opportunity of forming my acquaintance. By the end of the first year I
thought I had attained my object, and laid a good foundation in
languages. I had also become tired of this inactive life, and therefore
resolved to quit the gymnasium. But Director Dusch; who began by and by
to become acquainted with me, begged me to stay at least another year,
and, as I wanted for nothing, I consented.
It was about this time that the following incident in my life took
place. My wife had sent a polish Jew in search of me, and he heard of my
residence in Hamburg. Accordingly he came and called on me at the
gymnasium. He had been commissioned by my wife to demand, that I should
either return home without delay, or send through him a bill of divorce.
At that time I was unable to do either the one or the other. I was not
inclined to be divorced from my wife without any cause; and to return at
once to Poland, where I had not yet the slightest prospect of getting on
in the world or of leading a rational life, was to me impossible. I
represented all this to the gentleman who had undertaken the commission,
and added that it was my intention to leave the gymnasium soon and go to
Berlin, that my Berlin friends would, as I hoped, give me both their
advice and assistance in carrying out this intention. He would not be
satisfied with this answer, which he took for a mere evasion. When he
thus found that he could do nothing with me, he went to the chief rabbi,
and entered a complaint against me. A messenger was accordingly sent to
summon me before the tribunal of the chief rabbi; but I took my stand,
that at present I was not under his jurisdiction, inasmuch as the
gymnasium had a jurisdiction of its own, by which my case would require
to be decided. The chief rabbi made every effort through the Government
to make me submit to his wishes, but all his efforts were in vain. When
he saw that he could not accomplish his purpose in this way, he sent me
an invitation a second time on the pretext that he wished merely to
speak with me. To this I willingly consented, and went to him at once.
He received me with much respect; and when I made known to him my
birthplace and family in Poland, he began to lament and wring his hands.
"Alas!" said he, "you are the son of the famous Rabbi Joshua? I know
your father well; he is a pious and learned man. You also are not
unknown to me; I have examined you as a boy several times, and formed
high expectations of you. Oh! is it possible that you have altered so?"
(Here he pointed to my shaven beard). To this I replied, that I also had
the honour of knowing him, and that I still remembered his examinations
well. My conduct hitherto, I told him, was as little opposed to religion
properly understood, as it was to reason. "But," he interrupted "you do
not wear a beard, you do not go to the synagogue: is that not contrary
to religion?" "No!" I replied, and I proved to him from the Talmud that,
under the circumstances in which I was placed, all this was allowed. On
this point we entered into a lengthy dispute, in which each maintained
his right. As he could effect nothing with me by such disputation, he
adopted the style of mere sermonising; but when this also was of no
avail, he began to cry aloud, "_Shophar! Shophar!_" This is the name of
the horn which is blown on New-Year's day as a summons to repentance,
and at which it is supposed that Satan is horribly afraid. While the
chief rabbi called out the word, he pointed to a _Shophar_ that lay
before him on the table, and asked me, "Do you know what that is?" I
replied quite boldly, "Oh yes! it is a ram's horn." At these words the
chief rabbi fell back upon his chair, and began to lament over my lost
soul. I left him to lament as long as he liked, and bade him goodbye.
At the end of my second year I began to reflect, that it would be an
advantage in view of my future success, as well as fair to the
gymnasium, that I should make myself more intimately acquainted with the
professors. Accordingly I went to Director Dusch, announced to him that
I was soon to leave, and told him that, as I wished a certificate from
him, it would be well for him to examine me on the progress I had made,
so that his certificate might be as nearly as possible in accordance
with the truth. To this end he made me translate some passages from
Latin and English works in prose as well as in verse, and was very well
pleased with the translation. Afterwards he entered into conversation
with me on some subjects in philosophy, but found me so well versed in
these, that for his own safety he was obliged to back out. At last he
asked me, "But how is it with your mathematics?" I begged him to examine
me in this also. "In our mathematical lessons," he began, "we had
advanced to somewhere about the subject of mathematical bodies. Will you
work out yourself a proposition not yet taken up in the lessons, for
example, that about the relation of the cylinder, the sphere and the
cone to one another? You may take some days to do it." I replied that
this was unnecessary, and offered to perform the task on the spot. I
then demonstrated, not only the proposition prescribed, but several
other propositions out of Segner's Geometry. The Director was very much
surprised at this, called all the pupils in the gymnasium, and
represented to them that the extraordinary progress I had made should
make them ashamed of themselves. The most of them did not know what to
say to this; but some replied, "Do not suppose, Herr Director, that
Maimon made this progress in mathematics here. He has seldom attended
the mathematical lessons, and even when he was there he paid no
attention to them." They were going to say more, but the Director
commanded silence, and gave me an honourable certificate, from which I
cannot avoid quoting a few sentences. They became to me afterwards a
constant spur to higher attainments, and I hope it will not be
considered vainglory in me to cite the opinion of this esteemed man.
"His capacity," says he, "for learning all that is beautiful, good and
useful in general, but in particular those sciences which require severe
exertion of the mental powers, abstract and profound thought, is, I
might almost say, extraordinary. All those sorts of knowledge, which
demand in the highest degree one's own mental efforts, appear to him the
most agreeable; and intellectual occupations seem to be his chief, if
not his sole, enjoyment. His favourite studies hitherto have been
philosophy and mathematics, in which his progress has excited my
astonishment, &c."
I now bade goodbye to the teachers and officers of the gymnasium, who
unanimously paid me the compliment, that I had done honour to their
institution. I then set out once more for Berlin.