[_Enter_] ALEXANDER, HEPHESTION, [_and_] PAGE.[965] [DIOGENES _is in
his tub_.]
_Alex._ Methinketh, Hephestion, you are more melancholy than
you were accustomed; but I perceive it is all for Alexander. You
can neither brooke this peace nor my pleasure. Bee of good cheare;
though I winke, I sleepe not.
_Hep._ Melancholy I am not, nor well content; for, I know not how, 5
there is such a rust crept into my bones with this long ease that I
feare I shall not scowre it out with infinite labours.
_Alex._ Yes, yes, if all the travailes of conquering the world
will set either thy bodie or mine in tune, we will undertake them.
But what thinke you of Apelles? Did yee ever see any so perplexed?
He neither answered directly to any question, nor looked 10
stedfastly upon any thing. I hold my life the painter is in love.
_Hep._ It may be; for commonly we see it incident in artificers
to be enamoured of their owne workes, as Archidamus of his wooden
dove, Pygmalion of his ivorie image,[966] Arachne of her woven 15
swanne,[967]--especially painters, who playing with their owne
conceits, now coveting[968] to draw a glancing eie, then a rolling,
now a winking, still mending it, never ending it, till they be
caught with it, and then, poore soules, they kisse the colours
with their lips, with which before they were loth to taint their
fingers. 20
_Alex._ I will find it out. Page, goe speedily for Apelles. Will
him to come hither; and when you see us earnestly in talke,
sodainly crie out, "Apelles shop is on fire!"
_Page._ It shall be done.
_Alex._ Forget not your lesson. [_Exit Page._] 25
_Hep._ I marvell what your devise shal be.
_Alex._ The event shall prove.
_Hep._ I pittie the poore painter if he be in love.
_Alex._ Pitie him not, I pray thee. That severe gravity set aside,
what doe you thinke of love? 30
_Hep._ As the Macedonians doe of their hearbe beet,--which
looking yellow in the ground and blacke in the hand,--thinke it
better seene than toucht.
_Alex._ But what doe you imagine it to be?
_Hep._ A word, by superstition thought a god, by use turned to an 35
humour, by selfe-will made a flattering madnesse.
_Alex._ You are too hard-hearted to thinke so of love. Let us
goe to Diogenes. [_They cross the stage._] Diogenes, thou mayst
thinke it somewhat that Alexander commeth to thee againe so soone.
_Diog._ If you come to learne, you could not come soone enough; if 40
to laugh, you be come too soone.
_Hep._ It would better become thee to be more courteous and frame thy
self to please.
_Diog._ And you better to bee lesse, if you durst displease.
_Alex._ What doest thou thinke of the time we have here? 45
_Diog._ That we have little and lose much.
_Alex._ If one be sicke, what wouldst thou have him doe?
_Diog._ Bee sure that hee make not his physician his heire.
_Alex._ If thou mightest have thy will, how much ground would content
thee? 50
_Diog._ As much as you in the end must be contented withall.
_Alex._ What, a world?
_Diog._ No, the length of my bodie.
_Alex._ [_aside_]. Hephestion, shall I bee a little pleasant with him?
_Hep._ [_aside_]. You may; but hee will be very perverse with you. 55
_Alex._ [_aside_]. It skils not;[969] I cannot be angry with him.
Diogenes, I pray thee what doest thou thinke of love?
_Diog._ A little worser than I can of hate.
_Alex._ And why?
_Diog._ Because it is better to hate the things which make to love 60
than to love the things which give occasion of hate.
_Alex._ Why, bee not women the best creatures in the world?
_Diog._ Next men and bees.
_Alex._ What doest thou dislike chiefly in a woman?
_Diog._ One thing. 65
_Alex._ What?
_Diog._ That she is a woman.
_Alex._ In mine opinion thou wert never borne of a woman, that thou
thinkest so hardly of women. [_Enter Apelles._] But now commeth
Apelles, who I am sure is as farre from thy thoughts as thou 70
art from his cunning. Diogenes, I will have thy cabin[970] removed
neerer to my court, because I will be a philosopher.
_Diog._ And when you have done so, I pray you remove your
court further from my cabin, because I will not be a courtier.
_Alex._ But here commeth Apelles. Apelles, what peece of work 75
have you now in hand?
_Apel._ None in hand, if it like your Majestie; but I am devising
a platforme[971] in my head.
_Alex._ I thinke your hand put it in your head. Is it nothing
about Venus? 80
_Apel._ No, but something above[972] Venus. [_The Page runs in._]
_Page._ Apelles, Apelles, looke aboute[972] you! Your shop is on fire!
_Apel._ [_starting off_]. Aye mee, if the picture of Campaspe be
burnt, I am undone! 85
_Alex._ Stay, Apelles; no haste. It is your heart is on fire, not
your shop; and if Campaspe hang there, I would shee were burnt.
But have you the picture of Campaspe? Belike you love her well,
that you care not though all be lost, so she be safe.
_Apel._ Not love her! But your Majestie knowes that painters in 90
their last workes are said to excell themselves; and in this I have
so much pleased my selfe, that the shadow as much delighteth mee,
being an artificer, as the substance doth others, that are amorous.
_Alex._ You lay your colours grosly.[973] Though I could not paint
in your shop, I can spie into your excuse. Be not ashamed, Apelles;
it is a gentlemans sport to be in love. [_To the Page._] Call 95
hither Campaspe. [_Exit Page._] Methinkes[974] I might have beene
made privie to your affection: though my counsell had not bin
necessary, yet my countenance might have beene thought requisite.
But Apelles, forsooth, loveth under hand; yea, and under Alexanders
nose, and--but I say no more! 100
_Apel._ Apelles loveth not so; but hee liveth to doe as Alexander
will. [_Re-enter Page with Campaspe._]
_Alex._ Campaspe, here is newes. Apelles is in love with you.
_Camp._ It pleaseth your Majestie to say so. 105
_Alex._ [_aside_]. Hephestion, I will trie her too.--Campaspe, for
the good qualities I know in Apelles and the vertue I see in you, I
am determined you shall enjoy one another. How say you, Campaspe,
would you say, "I?"
_Camp._ Your hand-maid must obey if you command. 110
_Alex._ [_aside_]. Thinke you not, Hephestion, that she would faine
be commanded.
_Hep._ [_aside_]. I am no thought-catcher, but I ghesse
unhappily.[975]
_Alex._ I will not enforce marriage where I cannot compell love.
_Camp._ But your Majestie may move a question where you be 115
willing to have a match.
_Alex._ [_aside_]. Beleeve me, Hephestion, these parties are
agreed; they would have mee both priest and witnesse.--Apelles,
take Campaspe! Why move yee not? Campaspe, take Apelles! Will it
not be? If you be ashamed one of the other, by my consent you 120
shall never come together. But dissemble not, Campaspe. Doe you
love Apelles?
_Camp._ Pardon, my lord; I love Apelles.
_Alex._ Apelles, it were a shame for you, being loved so openly
of so faire a virgin, to say the contrairie. Do you love Campaspe? 125
_Apel._ Onely Campaspe!
_Alex._ Two loving wormes, Hephestion! I perceive Alexander
cannot subdue the affections of men, though he[976] conquer their
countries. Love falleth, like a dew, as well upon the low grasse
as upon the high cedar.[977] Sparkes have their heate, ants their
gall, flies their spleene. Well, enjoy one another. I give her 130
thee frankly, Apelles. Thou shalt see that Alexander maketh but a
toy of love and leadeth affection in fetters, using fancie as a
foole to make him sport or a minstrell to make him merry. It is
not the amorous glance of an eye can settle an idle thought in the
heart. No, no, it is childrens game, a life for seamsters and 135
schollers; the one, pricking in clouts,[978] have nothing else to
think on; the other, picking fancies out of books, have little else
to marvaile at. Go, Apelles, take with you your Campaspe; Alexander
is cloyed with looking on that which thou wondrest at.[979] 140
_Apel._ Thankes to your Majestie on bended knee: you have honoured
Apelles.
_Camp._ Thankes with bowed heart: you have blessed Campaspe.
_Exeunt_ [_Apelles and Campaspe_].
_Alex._ Page, goe warne Clytus and Parmenio and the other lords to
be in a readinesse; let the trumpet sound; strike up the drumme;
and I will presently into Persia. How now, Hephestion, is 145
Alexander able to resist love as he list?
_Hep._ The conquering of Thebes was not so honourable as the
subduing of these thoughts.
_Alex._ It were a shame Alexander should desire to command the 150
world, if he could not command himselfe. But come, let us goe. I
will trie whether I can better beare my hand with my heart[980]
than I could with mine eye. And, good Hephestion, when all the
world is wonne and every country is thine and mine, either find me
out another to subdue, or, of[981] my word I will fall in love.
_Exeunt._ 155