_M. Mery._ Nowe that the whole answere in my devise doth rest,
I shall paint out our wower in colours of the best.
And all that I say shall be on Custances mouth,
She is author of all that I shall speake forsoth.
But yond commeth Roister Doister nowe in a traunce. 5
_R. Royster._ _Juno_ sende me this day good lucke and good chaunce.
I can not but come see how Merygreeke doth speede.
_M. Mery_ [_aside_]. I will not see him, but give him a jutte in
deede.[480]
I crie your mastershyp mercie[!] [_running hard into him_]
_R. Royster._ And whither now?
_M. Mery._ As fast as I could runne sir in post against you. 10
But why speake ye so faintly, or why are ye so sad?
_R. Royster._ Thou knowest the proverbe, bycause I can not be had.
Hast thou spoken with this woman?
_M. Mery._ Yea that I have.
_R. Royster._ And what will this geare be?
_M. Mery._ No so God me save.
_R. Royster._ Hast thou a flat answer? 15
_M. Mery._ Nay a sharp answer.
_R. Royster._ What
_M. Mery._ Ye shall not (she sayth) by hir will marry hir cat.
Ye are such a calfe, such an asse, such a blocke,
Such a lilburne,[481] such a hoball,[482] such a lobcocke,[483]
And bicause ye shoulde come to hir at no season,
She despised your maship out of all reason. 20
Bawawe[484] what ye say (ko I) of such a jentman,
Nay I feare him not (ko she) doe the best he can.
He vaunteth him selfe for a man of prowesse greate,
Where as a good gander I dare say may him beate.
And where he is louted[485] and laughed to skorne, 25
For the veriest dolte that ever was borne,
And veriest lubber, sloven and beast,
Living in this worlde from the west to the east: D iv _b_
Yet of himselfe hath he suche opinion,
That in all the worlde is not the like minion.[486] 30
He thinketh eche woman to be brought in dotage
With the onely sight of his goodly personage:
Yet none that will have hym: we do hym loute and flocke,[487]
And make him among us, our common sporting stocke,
And so would I now (ko she) save onely bicause, 35
Better nay (ko I) I lust not medle with dawes.
Ye are happy (ko I) that ye are a woman,
This would cost you your life in case ye were a man.
_R. Royster._ Yea an hundred thousand pound should not save hir life.
_M. Mery._ No but that ye wowe hir to have hir to your wife, 40
But I coulde not stoppe hir mouth.
_R. Royster._ Heigh how alas,
_M. Mery._ Be of good cheere man, and let the worlde passe.[488]
_R. Royster._ What shall I doe or say nowe that it will not bee.
_M. Mery._ Ye shall have choice of a thousande as good as shee,
And ye must pardon hir, it is for lacke of witte. 45
_R. Royster._ Yea, for were not I an husbande for hir fitte?
Well what should I now doe?
_M. Mery._ In faith I can not tell.
_R. Royster._ I will go home and die.
_M. Mery._ Then shall I bidde toll the bell?
_R. Royster._ No.
_M. Mery._ God have mercie on your soule, ah good gentleman,
That er ye shuld th[u]s dye for an unkinde woman, 50
Will ye drinke once ere ye goe.
_R. Royster._ No, no, I will none.
_M. Mery._ How feele[489] your soule to God.
_R. Royster._ I am nigh gone.
_M. Mery._ And shall we hence streight?
_R. Royster._ Yea.
_M. Mery._ _Placebo dilexi._
Maister [R]oister Doister will streight go home and die.
_ut infra._[490] 54
_R. Royster._ Heigh how, alas, the pangs of death my hearte do breake.
_M. Mery._ Holde your peace for shame sir, a dead man may not speake.
_Nequando_: What mourners and what torches shall we have?
_R. Royster._ None.
_M. Mery._ _Dirige._ He will go darklyng to his grave,
_Neque, lux, neque crux, neque mourners, neque_ clinke,
He will steale to heaven, unknowing to God I thinke. 60
_A porta inferi_, who shall your goodes possesse?
_R. Royster._ Thou shall be my sectour,[491] and have all more
and lesse. E i
_M. Mery._ _Requiem æternam._ Now God reward your mastershyp.
And I will crie halfepenie doale for your worshyp.
Come forth sirs, heare the dolefull newes I shall you tell.
_Evocat servos militis._ 65
Our good maister here will no longer with us dwell,
But in spite of Custance, which hath hym weried,
Let us see his mashyp solemnely buried.
And while some piece of his soule is yet hym within,
Some part of his funeralls let us here begin. 70
_Audiui vocem_, All men take heede by this one gentleman,
Howe you sette your love upon an unkinde woman.
For these women be all such madde pievishe elves,
They will not be wonne except it please them selves.
But in fayth Custance if ever ye come in hell, 75
Maister Roister Doister shall serve you as well.
And will ye needes go from us thus in very deede?
_R. Royster._ Yea in good sadnesse[!]
_M. Mery._ Now Jesus Christ be your speede.
Good night Roger olde knave, farewell Roger olde knave,
Good night Roger[492] olde knave, knave knap. _ut infra._[493]
Pray for the late maister Roister Doisters soule, 81
And come forth parish Clarke, let the passing bell toll.
Pray for your mayster sirs, and for hym ring a peale.
_Ad servos militis._
He was your right good maister while he was in heale.
_Qui Lazarum_. 85
_R. Royster._ Heigh how.
_M. Mery._ Dead men go not so fast
_In Paradisum_. 87
_R. Royster._ Heihow.
_M. Mery._ Soft, heare what I have cast.[494]
_R. Royster._ I will heare nothing, I am past.
_M. Mery._ Whough, wellaway.
Ye may tarie one houre, and heare what I shall say, 90
Ye were best sir for a while to revive againe,
And quite them er ye go.
_R. Royster._ Trowest thou so?
_M. Mery._ Ye plain.
_R. Royster._ How may I revive being nowe so farre past?
_M. Mery._ I will rubbe your temples, and fette you againe at last.
_R. Royster._ It will not be possible. 95
_M. Mery_ [_rubbing R.'s temples roughly_]. Yes for twentie pounde.
_R. Royster._ Armes[!][495] what dost thou?
_M. Mery._ Fet you again out of your sound[496]
By this crosse ye were nigh gone in deede, I might feele
Your soule departing within an inche of your heele. E i _b_
Now folow my counsell.
_R. Royster._ What is it?
_M. Mery._ If I wer you,
Custance should eft seeke to me, ere I woulde bowe. 100
_R. Royster._ Well, as thou wilt have me, even so will I doe.
_M. Mery._ Then shall ye revive againe for an houre or two.
_R. Royster._ As thou wilt I am content for a little space.
_M. Mery._ Good happe is not hastie:[497] yet in space com[e]th
grace,[498]
To speake with Custance your selfe shoulde be very well, 105
What good therof may come, nor I, nor you can tell.
But now the matter standeth upon your mariage,
Ye must now take unto you a lustie courage.[499]
Ye may not speake with a faint heart to Custance,
But with a lusty breast[500] and countenance, 110
That she may knowe she hath to answere to a man.
_R. Royster._ Yes I can do that as well as any can.
_M. Mery._ Then bicause ye must Custance face to face wowe,
Let us see how to behave your selfe ye can doe.
Ye must have a portely bragge after your estate. 115
_R. Roister._ Tushe, I can handle that after the best rate.
_M. Mery._ Well done, so loe, up man with your head and chin,
Up with that snoute man: so loe, nowe ye begin,
So, that is somewhat like, but[,] prankie[501] cote, nay[,]
whan[!]
That is a lustie brute,[502] handes under your side man: 120
So loe, now is it even as it shoulde[503] bee,
That is somewhat like, for a man of your degree.
Then must ye stately goe, jetting[504] up and downe,
Tut, can ye no better shake the taile of your gowne?
There loe, such a lustie bragge it is ye must make. 125
_R. Royster._ To come behind, and make curtsie, thou must som
pains take.
_M. Mery._ Else were I much to blame, I thanke your mastershyp[,][505]
The lorde one day[--]all to begrime you with worshyp,
[_M. pushes violently against R._]
Backe sir sauce,[506] let gentlefolkes have elbowe roome,
Voyde sirs, see ye not maister Roister Doister come? 130
Make place my maisters. [_Knocks against R._]
_R. Royster._ Thou justlest nowe to nigh.
_M. Mery._ Back al rude loutes. E ii
_R. Royster._ Tush.
_M. Mery._ I crie your maship mercy
Hoighdagh, if faire fine mistresse Custance sawe you now,
Ralph Royster Doister were hir owne I warrant you.
_R. Royster._ Neare[507] an M by your girdle?[508] 135
_M. Mery._ Your good mastershyps
Maistershyp, were hir owne Mistreshyps mistreshyps,
Ye were take[509] up for haukes, ye were gone, ye were gone,
But now one other thing more yet I thinke upon.
_R. Royster._ Shewe what it is.
_M. Mery._ A wower be he never so poore
Must play and sing before his bestbeloves doore, 140
How much more than you?
_R. Royster._ Thou speakest wel out of dout.
_M. Mery._ And perchaunce that woulde make hir the sooner come out.
_R. Royster._ Goe call my Musitians, bydde them high apace.
_M. Mery._ I wyll be here with them ere ye can say trey ace.[510]
_Exeat._
_R. Royster._ This was well sayde of Merrygreeke, I lowe hys wit, 145
Before my sweete hearts dore we will have a fit[,]
That if my love come forth, that I may with hir talke,
I doubt not but this geare shall on my side walke.
But lo, how well Merygreeke is returned sence.
_M. Mery_ [_returning with the musicians_]. There hath grown no
grasse on my heele since I went hence, 150
Lo here have I brought that shall make you pastance.
_R. Royster._ Come sirs let us sing to winne my deare love Custance.
_Cantent._[511]
_M. Mery._ Lo where she commeth, some countenaunce to hir make.
And ye shall heare me be plaine with hir for your sake. 154
Actus. iii. Scæna. iiii.