"Well, just as you like, of course," I said, "but you're taking an
awful chance. I mean, whenever people do it in novels and plays they
always get the dickens of a welt. The girl gets the sympathy of the
audience every time. She just draws herself up and looks at them with
clear, steady eyes, causing them to feel not a little cheesy. If I were
you, I would sit tight and let Nature take its course."
"I don't understand you."
"Well, consider for a moment what Uncle George looks like. No Greta
Garbo, believe me. I should simply let the girl go on looking at him.
Take it from me, Aunt Agatha, I've studied human nature and I don't
believe there's a female in the world who could see Uncle George fairly
often in those waistcoats he wears without feeling that it was due to
her better self to give him the gate. Besides, this girl sees him at
meal times, and Uncle George with his head down among the foodstuffs is
a spectacle which----"
"If it is not troubling you too much, Bertie, I should be greatly
obliged if you would stop drivelling."
"Just as you say. All the same, I think you're going to find it dashed
embarrassing, offering this girl money."
"I am not proposing to do so. _You_ will undertake the negotiations."
"Me?"
"Certainly. I should think a hundred pounds would be ample. But I will
give you a blank check, and you are at liberty to fill it in for a
higher sum if it becomes necessary. The essential point is that, cost
what it may, your uncle must be released from this entanglement."
"So you're going to shove this off on me?"
"It is quite time you did something for the family."
"And when she draws herself up and looks at me with clear, steady eyes,
what do I do for an encore?"
"There is no need to discuss the matter any further. You can get down
to East Dulwich in half an hour. There is a frequent service of
trains. I will remain here to await your report."
"But, listen!"
"Bertie, you will go and see this woman immediately."
"Yes, but dash it!"
"Bertie!"