"If you ask me, Aunt Dahlia," I said, "I think Angela is well out of
it. This Glossop is a tough baby. One of London's toughest. I was
trying to tell you just now what he did to me one night at the Drones'.
"First, having got me in sporting mood with a bottle of the ripest, he
bet me that I wouldn't swing myself across the swimming pool by the
ropes and rings. I knew I could do it on my head, so I took him on,
exulting in the fun, so to speak. And when I'd done half the trip, and
was going strong, I found he had looped the last rope back against the
rail, leaving me no alternative but to drop into the depths and swim
ashore in correct evening costume."
"He did?"
"He certainly did. It was months ago, and I haven't got really dry yet.
You wouldn't want your daughter to marry a man capable of a thing like
that!"
"On the contrary, you restore my faith in the young hound. I see that
there must be lots of good in him, after all. And I want this Bellinger
business broken up, Bertie."
"How?"
"I don't care how. Any way you please."
"But what can I do?"
"Do? Why, put the whole thing before your man Jeeves. Jeeves will
find a way. One of the most capable fellers I ever met. Put the thing
squarely up to Jeeves and let Nature take its course."
"There may be something in what you say, Aunt Dahlia," I said
thoughtfully.
"Of course there is," said Aunt Dahlia. "A little thing like this will
be child's play to Jeeves. Get him working on it right away, and I'll
look in to-morrow to hear the result."
With which, she biffed off, and I summoned Jeeves to the presence.
"Jeeves," I said, "you have heard all?"
"Yes, sir."
"I thought you would. Aunt Dahlia has what you might call a carrying
voice. Has it ever occurred to you that, if all other sources of income
failed, she could make a good living calling the cattle home across the
sands of Dee?"
"I had not considered the point, sir, but no doubt you are right."
"Well, how do we go? What is your reaction? I think we should do our
best to help and assist."
"Yes, sir."
"I am fond of Aunt Dahlia, and I am fond of Angela. Fond of them both,
if you get my drift. What the misguided girl finds to attract her in
young Tuppy, I cannot say, Jeeves, and you cannot say. But apparently
she loves the man--which shows it can be done, a thing I wouldn't have
believed myself--and is pining away like----"
"Patience on a monument, sir."
"Like Patience, as you very shrewdly remark, on a monument. So we must
cluster round. Bend your brain to the problem, Jeeves. It is one that
will tax you to the uttermost."
* * * * *
Aunt Dahlia blew in on the morrow, and I rang the bell for Jeeves. He
appeared, looking brainier than one could have believed possible--sheer
intellect shining from every feature--and I could see at once that the
engine had been turning over.
"Speak, Jeeves," I said.
"Very good, sir."
"You have brooded?"
"Yes, sir."
"With what success?"
"I have a plan, sir, which I fancy may produce satisfactory results."
"Let's have it," said Aunt Dahlia.
"In affairs of this description, madam, the first essential is to study
the psychology of the individual."
"The what?"
"The psychology, madam."
"He means the psychology," I said.
"Oh, ah," said Aunt Dahlia.
"And by psychology, Jeeves," I went on, to help the thing along, "you
imply----?"
"The natures and dispositions of the principals in the matter, sir."
"You mean, what they're like?"
"Precisely, sir."
"Does he talk like this when you're alone, Bertie?" asked Aunt Dahlia.
"Sometimes. Occasionally. And on the other hand, sometimes not.
Proceed, Jeeves."
"Well, sir, if I may say so, the thing that struck me most forcibly
about Miss Bellinger when she was under my observation was that hers
was a somewhat imperious nature. I could envisage Miss Bellinger
applauding success. I could not so easily see her pitying and
sympathizing with failure.
"Possibly you will recall, sir, her attitude when Mr. Glossop
endeavoured to light her cigarette with his automatic lighter? I
thought I detected a certain impatience at his inability to produce the
necessary flame."
"True, Jeeves. She ticked him off."
"Precisely, sir."
"Let me get this straight," said Aunt Dahlia. "You think if he goes on
trying to light her cigarette with his automatic lighter long enough,
she will eventually get fed up and hand him the mitten?"
"I merely mentioned the episode, madam, as an indication of Miss
Bellinger's somewhat ruthless nature."
"Ruthless," I said, "is right. The Bellinger is hard-boiled. Those
eyes. That chin. I could read them. A vicious specimen, if ever there
was one."
"Precisely, sir. I think, therefore, that, should Miss Bellinger be a
witness of Mr. Glossop's appearing to disadvantage in public, she would
cease to entertain affection for him. In the event, for instance, of
his failing to entertain the audience on Tuesday with his singing----"