"I am glad you have arrived so early. I want to have a word with you
before you meet Mr. Filmer."
"Who?"
"Mr. Filmer, the cabinet minister. He is staying in the house. Surely
even you must have heard of Mr. Filmer?"
"Oh, rather," I said, though as a matter of fact the bird was
completely unknown to me. What with one thing and another, I'm not
frightfully well up in the personnel of the political world.
"I particularly wish you to make a good impression on Mr. Filmer."
"Right ho."
"Don't speak in that casual way, as if you supposed that it was
perfectly natural that you would make a good impression upon him. Mr.
Filmer is a serious-minded man of high character and purpose, and you
are just the type of vapid and frivolous wastrel against which he is
most likely to be prejudiced."
Hard words, of course, from one's own flesh and blood, but well in
keeping with past form.
"You will endeavour, therefore, while you are here, not to display
yourself in the rôle of a vapid and frivolous wastrel. In the first
place, you will give up smoking during your visit."
"Oh, I say!"
"Mr. Filmer is president of the Anti-Tobacco League. Nor will you drink
alcoholic stimulants."
"Oh, dash it!"
"And you will kindly exclude from your conversation all that is
suggestive of the bar, the billiard room, and the stage door. Mr.
Filmer will judge you largely by your conversation."