Such a case as the above would better not be settled hastily. Be
deliberate enough in your proceedings to give anger time to cool and to
be replaced, in part at least, by more generous impulses.
Learn whether the motives and attitudes prompting the fight are
characteristic of Carl only, or whether they represent truly the
dominant feelings of the whole school. In the latter case the punishment
of the two boys must be followed by effort, on the teacher’s part, to
correct the crude ideals of the children as a whole.
This can be done through story work, or by coöperative work of some
kind, or by games, in which democracy reigns supreme and individual
distinctions are lost sight of in interest in the work itself.
After learning the main facts in the case—and these should usually be
left until the other children have gone home—say, “Boys, this trouble
which you have brought into the school is so serious, I want to think it
over. I would like you also to think it over and be ready to tell me
tomorrow what each one of you can do to right the wrong you have done.
“Remember, you have not only hurt yourselves and each other, but have
injured the good name of the school. This is all for tonight.”
[Sidenote: One at a Time]
On the following day, talk with the boys one at a time. You will need to
say things to each of the boys that you would not care to say in the
presence of the other. Talk with Carl first. He is in reality the
greater offender. John could be dismissed with the words, “John, I shall
not have time to talk with both of you this afternoon. I will see Carl
today. Tomorrow I will talk with you.”
Alone with Carl, lead him to confess that he was thoughtless on the
previous day. He will do it, for he will be only too glad to excuse
himself in this way. Then say, “Very well, Carl, if you did wrong
yesterday by ‘not thinking’ try to think hard tonight for the little
time we are together. Think out this problem for me. Does it take a
brave boy or a coward to keep coming to school day after day without
complaining, and without absences, when he has to come in ragged clothes
and when he knows the boys are likely to make fun of him?”
If for no other reason than to please his teacher, Carl will be sure to
say, “A brave boy.” Recall to Carl’s mind whatever is brave, unselfish,
or lovable in John, especially if you happen to know that John has given
up some happiness for Carl’s sake, or shared some pleasure with any
member of the school.
Then ask, purposely using the same form of question that you previously
used, “Carl, do you think it takes a brave boy or a coward to make fun
of such a person before his classmates—to taunt him about things he can
not help, and for which he is not to blame, and to hurt him so cruelly
that he is ready to fight even the boy for whom he did a kindness only a
few days ago?”
Very likely Carl may not answer quite so glibly this time, but do not
press him for an answer. Do not insist that he make any reply in words,
but do not be satisfied until you have led Carl to do something better
than to make a satisfactory verbal reply, namely, express in deeds that
he wishes to make reparation in some way for his unkindness.
Remain silent for a moment or two, while Carl digests the meaning of
your question. Then say, in a low, but distinct, firm voice, “Carl, I
asked you yesterday to be ready to tell me today how you can make amends
to John and to the school for your misconduct yesterday. What is your
plan?”
If Carl has really thought of some good thing to do, commend his plan
and coöperate with him immediately in carrying it out. If he has no plan
to suggest, ask his opinion about two or three courses of conduct which
you have thought of. Ask him to think these over during the evening and
report to you next morning as to what is best to do, or to suggest a
better plan himself if he can think of one.
Your knowledge of all the circumstances will be your guide in advising
Carl, but whatever it is that is decided upon, it must not be a
sentimental and (probably) hypocritical confession that, “I am sorry,”
but rather something boyish and genuine and generous; something
expressed in action rather than words. It may be a nutting party to
which John will be invited and where Carl will propose to the other boys
to put slyly a few of their own nuts into John’s bag; or a picnic where
Carl will suggest to the boys to bring a bit of fruit or some dainty to
fill John’s pockets with; or it may be a dozen other things that any
bright boy can think of—but something that will give the other boys as
well as John an opportunity to make amends for their thoughtless
unkindness. Carl, however, is to take the leading part and secure the
coöperation of the other boys.
Your conference with John will be the easier task to bring to a
successful conclusion, especially if Carl’s attitude toward John is, by
this time, such as to encourage John to believe that Carl regrets the
part he took in the affair and is willing to be friends once more. Yet
John is the one who has been most keenly hurt. You must make him
understand that you have not shared Carl’s contempt for him because of
his ragged clothes and his drunken father. You may say to him,
[Sidenote: Just Commendation]
“John, I have been so proud of you all this term because you have been
so regular in attendance, and because you have done such good work. Your
deportment, too, has been excellent until day before yesterday. Was it
worth while to lose your good name in school just for a silly,
thoughtless taunt from one of the boys?”
Here again you need not insist upon an answer. If John is truthful his
answer probably would not yet conform to the implication in your
question, and you may well wait until he has had longer time in which to
come to your way of thinking. But you may recall to his mind that all
persons have temptations to anger, of some sort or other. If they
habitually give way to it, _all_ their friends would be alienated before
long. Try to get him to do some act that will show Carl he is willing to
be friends again.
Never leave a person who has indulged in anger satisfied with himself
because of having done so. Never leave him holding fast his grudge.
Initiate activities of exactly the opposite tendencies to those which he
engaged in while under the influence of anger.