_Labors for the Indians at and near the Forks of Delaware—idolatrous
feast and dance—journey through the wilderness to Opeholhaupung or
the Susquehanna—erects a cottage at Forks of the Delaware—some
evidences of a work of the Spirit among the Indians—journey to
New-England to obtain money to support a colleague—visit to the
Indians on the Susquehanna—journey to Crossweeksung in New-Jersey._
June 13, 1744.—June 18, 1745.
_June 13, 1744._ [At Elizabeth Town.]—“Spent considerable time in
writing an account of the Indian affairs, to be sent to Scotland; some,
in conversation with friends; but had not much spiritual enjoyment.”
On _Tuesday, June 19_, he set out on his journey, and in three days
reached his residence near the Forks of Delaware. Performed the journey
under much weakness of body, but had comfort in his soul, from day to
day.
_Lord’s day, June 24._—“Extremely feeble; scarcely able to walk: however
visited my Indians, and took much pains to instruct them; labored with
some that were much disaffected toward Christianity. My mind was much
burdened with the weight and difficulty of my work. My whole dependence
and hope of success seemed to be on God; who alone I saw could make them
willing to receive instruction. My heart was much engaged in prayer,
sending up silent requests to God, even while I was speaking to them. O
that I could always go in the strength of the Lord!
_June 25._—“Was somewhat better in health than of late; and was able to
spend a considerable part of the day in prayer and close study. Had more
freedom and fervency in prayer than usual of late; especially longed for
the presence of God in my work, and that the poor Heathen might be
converted. And in evening prayer my faith and hope in God were much
raised. _To an eye of reason every thing that respects the conversion of
the Heathen is as dark as midnight_; and yet I cannot but hope in God
for the accomplishment of something glorious among them. My soul longed
much for the advancement of the Redeemer’s kingdom on earth. Was very
fearful lest I should admit some vain thought, and so lose the sense I
then had of divine things. O for an abiding heavenly temper!
_June 26._—“In the morning, my desires seemed to rise, and ascend up
freely to God. Was busy most of the day in _translating prayers_ into
the language of the Delaware Indians; met with great difficulty, because
my interpreter was altogether unacquainted with the business. But though
I was much discouraged with the extreme difficulty of that work, yet God
supported me; and especially in the evening, gave me sweet refreshment.
In prayer my soul was enlarged, and my faith drawn into sensible
exercise; was enabled to cry to God for my poor Indians; and though the
work of their conversion appeared _impossible with man_, yet _with God_
I saw _all things were possible_. My faith was much strengthened, by
observing the wonderful assistance God afforded his servants Nehemiah
and Ezra, in reforming his people and re-establishing his ancient
church. I was much assisted in prayer for my dear Christian friends, and
for others whom I apprehended to be Christless; but was more especially
concerned for the poor heathen, and those of my own charge; was enabled
to be instant in prayer for them; and hoped that God would bow the
heavens and come down for their salvation. It seemed to me that there
could be no impediment sufficient to obstruct that glorious work, seeing
the living God, as I strongly hoped, was engaged for it. I continued in
a solemn frame, lifting up my heart to God for assistance and grace,
that I might be more mortified to this present world, that my whole soul
might be taken up continually in concern for the advancement of Christ’s
kingdom. Earnestly desired that God would purge me more, that I might be
as a chosen vessel to bear his name among the Heathen.
_June 28._—“Spent the morning in reading several parts of the holy
scripture, and in fervent prayer for my Indians, that God would set up
his kingdom among them, and bring them into his church. About nine I
withdrew to my usual place of retirement in the woods, and there again
enjoyed some assistance in prayer. My great concern was for the
conversion of the heathen to God; and the Lord helped me to plead with
him for it. Toward noon rode up to the Indians in order to preach to
them; and while going my heart went up to God in prayer for them; could
freely tell God he knew that the cause in which I was engaged was not
mine; but that it was his own cause, and that it would be for his own
glory to convert the poor Indians: and blessed be God I felt no desire
of their conversion that I might receive honor from the world as being
the instrument of it. Had some freedom in speaking to the Indians.
_June 30._—“My soul was very solemn in reading God’s word, especially
the ninth chapter of Daniel. I saw how God had called out his servants
to prayer, and made them wrestle with him, when he designed to bestow
any great mercy on his church. And, alas! I was ashamed of myself to
think of my dullness and inactivity when there seemed to be so much to
do for the upbuilding of Zion. O how does Zion lie waste! I longed that
the church of God might be enlarged; was enabled to pray, I think, in
faith; my soul seemed sensibly to confide in God, and was enabled to
wrestle with him. Afterward walked abroad to a place of sweet
retirement; enjoyed some assistance in prayer, had a sense of my great
need of divine help, and felt my soul sensibly depend on God. Blessed be
God, this has been a comfortable week to me.
_Lord’s day, July 1._—“After I came to them my mind was confused, and I
felt nothing sensibly of that sweet reliance on God with which my soul
has been comforted in days past. Spent the forenoon in this posture of
mind, and preached to the Indians without any heart. In the afternoon I
felt still barren when I began to preach, and for about half an hour: I
seemed to myself to know nothing, and to have nothing to say to the
Indians; but soon after I found in myself a spirit of love, and warmth,
and power, to address the poor Indians, and God helped me to plead with
them, to ‘turn from all the vanities of the heathen to the living God;’
I am persuaded that the Lord touched their consciences; for I never saw
such attention raised in them. When I came away from them, I spent the
whole time I was riding to my lodgings, three miles distant, in prayer
and praise to God. After I had rode more than two miles it came into my
mind to dedicate myself to God again, which I did with great solemnity
and unspeakable satisfaction; especially gave up myself to him renewedly
in the work of the ministry. This I did by divine grace, I hope, without
any exception or reserve; not in the least shrinking back from any
difficulties that might attend this great and blessed work. I seemed to
be most free, cheerful, and full in this dedication of myself. My whole
soul cried, ‘Lord, to thee I dedicate myself! O accept of me, and let me
be thine for ever. Lord, I desire nothing else; I desire nothing more. O
come, come, Lord, accept a poor worm. My heart rejoiced in my particular
work as a _missionary_; rejoiced in my necessity of self-denial in many
respects, and I still continued to give up myself to God, and to implore
mercy of him, praying incessantly every moment with sweet fervency. My
nature being very weak of late, and much spent, was now considerably
overcome: my fingers grew very feeble, and somewhat numb, so that I
could scarcely stretch them out straight, and when I lighted from my
horse could hardly walk; my joints seemed all to be loosed. But I felt
abundant _strength in the inner man_. Preached to the white people; God
helped me much, especially in prayer. Sundry of my poor Indians were so
moved as to come to meeting also, and one appeared much concerned.
_July 3._—“Was still very weak. This morning was enabled to pray under a
feeling sense of my need of help from God, and I trust had some faith in
exercise; and, blessed be God, was enabled to plead with him a
considerable time. Truly God is good to me. But my soul mourned, and was
grieved at my sinfulness and barrenness, and longed to be more engaged
for God. Near nine, withdrew again for prayer, and through divine
goodness had the blessed spirit of prayer; my soul loved the duty, and
longed for God in it. O it is sweet to be _the Lord’s_, to be sensibly
devoted to him! What a blessed portion is God! How glorious, how lovely
in himself! O my soul longed to improve time wholly for God! Spent most
of the day in translating prayers into Indian. In the evening was
enabled again to wrestle with God in prayer with fervency. Was enabled
to maintain a self-diffident and watchful frame of spirit, and was
jealous, and afraid lest I should admit carelessness and
self-confidence.
_July 6._—“Awoke this morning in the fear of God, and spent my first
waking minutes in prayer for sanctification, that my soul may be washed
from its exceeding pollution and defilement. After I arose I spent some
time in reading God’s word, and in prayer. I cried to God under a sense
of my great indigence. I am of late most of all concerned for
ministerial qualifications, and the conversion of the heathen. Last year
I longed to be prepared for a world of glory, and speedily to depart out
of this world; but of late all my concern almost is for the conversion
of the heathen, and for that end I long to live. But blessed be God I
have less desire to live for any of the pleasures of the world than I
ever had. I long and love to be a pilgrim, and want grace to imitate the
life, labors and sufferings of St. Paul among the heathen. And when I
long for holiness now, it is not so much for myself as formerly, but
rather thereby I may become an ‘able minister of the New Testament,’
especially to the heathen.
_July 7._—“Was very much disordered this morning, and my vigor all spent
and exhausted; but was affected and refreshed in reading the sweet story
of Elijah’s translation, and enjoyed some affection and fervency in
prayer; longed much for ministerial gifts and graces, that I might do
something in the cause of God. Afterward was refreshed and invigorated
while reading ALLEINE’S first _Case of Conscience_, &c.—was enabled then
to pray with some ardor of soul—was afraid of carelessness and
self-confidence, and longed for holiness.
_Lord’s day, July 8._—“Was ill last night—not able to rest quietly. Had
some small degree of assistance in preaching to the Indians, and
afterward was enabled to preach to the white people with some power,
especially in the close of my discourse, from Jer. 3:23. ‘Truly in vain
is salvation hoped for from the hills,’ &c. The Lord also assisted me in
some measure in the first prayer; blessed be his name. Near night,
though very weary, was enabled to read God’s word with some sweet relish
of it, and to pray with affection, fervency, and I trust with faith; my
soul was more sensibly dependant on God than usual. Was watchful,
tender, and jealous of my own heart, lest I should admit carelessness
and vain thoughts, and grieve the blessed Spirit, so that he should
withdraw his sweet, kind, and tender influences. Longed to ‘depart, and
be with Christ,’ more than at any time of late. My soul was exceedingly
united to the saints of ancient times, as well as those now living;
especially my soul melted for the society of Elijah and Elisha. Was
enabled to cry to God with a child-like spirit, and to continue instant
in prayer for some time. Was much enlarged in the sweet duty of
intercession; was enabled to remember great numbers of dear friends, and
precious souls, as well as Christ’s ministers. Continued in this frame,
afraid of every idle thought, till I dropped asleep.
_July 21._—“This morning I was greatly oppressed with guilt and shame
from a sense of inward vileness and pollution. About nine withdrew to
the woods for prayer, but had not much comfort; I appeared to myself the
vilest, meanest creature upon earth, and could scarcely live with
myself; so mean and vile I appeared, that I thought I should never be
able to hold up my face in heaven, if God, of his infinite grace, should
bring me thither. Toward night my burden respecting my work among the
Indians began to increase much, and was aggravated by hearing sundry
things which looked very discouraging, in particular that they intended
to meet together the next day for an idolatrous feast and dance. Then I
began to be in anguish; I thought that I must in conscience go and
endeavor to break them up, yet knew not how to attempt such a thing.
However, I withdrew for prayer, hoping for strength from above. In
prayer I was exceedingly enlarged, and my soul was as much drawn out as
I ever remember it to have been in my life. I was in such anguish, and
pleaded with such earnestness and importunity, that when I rose from my
knees I felt extremely weak and overcome; I could scarcely walk
straight; my joints were loosed; the sweat ran down my face and body,
and nature seemed as if it would dissolve. So far as I could judge, I
was wholly free from selfish ends in my fervent supplications for the
poor Indians. I knew that they were met together to worship devils, and
not God; and this made me cry earnestly that God would now appear and
help me in my attempts to break up this idolatrous meeting. My soul
pleaded long, and I thought that God would hear, and would go with me to
vindicate his own cause: I seemed to confide in God for his presence and
assistance. And thus I spent the evening, praying incessantly for divine
assistance, and that I might not be self-dependent, but still have my
whole dependance upon God. What I passed through was remarkable, and
indeed inexpressible. All things here below vanished, and there appeared
to be nothing of any considerable importance to me, but holiness of
heart and life, and the conversion of the heathen to God. All my cares,
fears and desires, which might be said to be of a worldly nature,
disappeared, and were, in my esteem, of little more importance than a
puff of wind. I exceedingly longed that God would get to himself a name
among the heathen; and I appealed to him with the greatest freedom, that
he knew I ‘preferred him above my chief joy.’ Indeed, I had no notion of
joy from this world; I cared not where or how I lived, or what hardships
I went through, so that I could but gain souls to Christ. I continued in
this frame all the evening and night. While I was asleep I dreamed of
these things; and when I waked, (as I frequently did,) the first thing I
thought of was this great work of pleading for God against Satan.
_Lord’s day, July 22._—“When I waked my soul was burdened with what
seemed to be before me. I cried to God, before I could get out of my
bed; and as soon as I was dressed I withdrew into the woods, to pour out
my burdened soul to God, especially for assistance in my great work; for
I could scarcely think of any thing else. I enjoyed the same freedom and
fervency as the last evening; and did with unspeakable freedom give up
myself afresh to God, for life or death, for all hardships to which he
should call me, among the heathen; and felt as if nothing could
discourage me from this blessed work. I had a strong hope that God would
‘bow the heavens and come down,’ and do some marvellous work among the
heathen. While I was riding to the Indians, three miles, my heart was
continually going up to God for his presence and assistance; and hoping,
and almost expecting, that God would make this the day of his power and
grace amongst the poor Indians. When I came to them, I found them
engaged in their frolic; but through divine goodness I persuaded them to
desist and attend to my preaching: yet still there appeared nothing of
the special power of God among them. Preached again to them in the
afternoon, and observed the Indians were more sober than before; but
still saw nothing special among them. Hence satan took occasion to tempt
and buffet me with these cursed suggestions, There is no God, or if
there be, he is not able to convert the Indians, before they have more
knowledge, &c. I was very weak and weary, and my soul borne down with
perplexity; but was mortified to all the world, and was determined still
to wait upon God for the conversion of the heathen, though the devil
tempted me to the contrary.
_July 24._—“Rode about seventeen miles westward, over a hideous
mountain, to a number of Indians. Got together near thirty of them:
preached to them in the evening, and lodged among them. Was weak, and
felt in some degree disconsolate; yet could have no freedom in the
thought of any other circumstances or business in life. All my desire
was the conversion of the heathen; and all my hope was in God. God does
not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends,
returning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoying worldly comforts.
_Lord’s day, August 5._—“Though very weak, I visited and preached to the
poor Indians twice, and was strengthened vastly beyond my expectations.
Indeed the Lord gave me some freedom and fervency in addressing them;
though I had not strength enough to stand, but was obliged to sit down
the whole time. Toward night was extremely weak, faint, sick, and full
of pain. I seem to myself like a man that has all his estate embarked in
one small boat, unhappily going adrift down a swift torrent. The poor
owner stands on the shore, and looks, and laments his loss. But, alas!
though my all seems to be adrift, and I stand and see it, I dare not
lament; for this sinks my spirits more, and aggravates my bodily
disorders! I am forced, therefore, to divert myself with trifles;
although at the same time I am afraid, and often feel as if I was guilty
of the misimprovement of time. And oftentimes my conscience is so
exercised with this miserable way of spending time, that I have no
peace; though I have no strength of mind or body to improve it to better
purpose. O that God would pity my distressed state!”
The next three weeks his illness was less severe; and he was in some
degree capable of business, both public and private, though he had some
turns wherein his indisposition prevailed to a great degree. He had
generally also much more inward assistance and strength of mind. He
often expresses great longings for the enlargement of Christ’s kingdom,
especially by the conversion of the heathen to God; and speaks of this
hope as all his delight and joy. He continues still to express his usual
desires after holiness, living to God, and a sense of his own
unworthiness. He several times speaks of his appearing to himself the
_vilest creature on earth_; and once says, that he verily thought there
were none of God’s children who fell so far short of that holiness, and
perfection in their obedience, which God requires, as he. He speaks of
his feeling more dead than ever to the enjoyments of the world. He
sometimes mentions the special assistance which he had at this time, in
preaching to the Indians, and the appearances of religious concern among
them. He speaks also of assistance in prayer for absent friends, and
especially ministers and candidates for the ministry; and of much
comfort which he enjoyed in the company of some ministers who came to
visit him.
_Sept. 1._—“Was so far strengthened, after a season of great weakness,
that I was able to spend two or three hours in writing on a divine
subject. Enjoyed some comfort and sweetness in things divine and sacred;
and as my bodily strength was in some measure restored, so my soul
seemed to be somewhat vigorous, and engaged in the things of God.
_Lord’s day, Sept. 2._—“Was enabled to speak to my poor Indians with
much concern and fervency; and I am persuaded that God enabled me to
exercise faith in him, while I was speaking to them. I perceived that
some of them were afraid to hearken to and embrace _Christianity_, lest
they should be enchanted and poisoned by some of the _powaws_: but I was
enabled to plead with them not to fear these; and, confiding in God for
safety and deliverance, I bid a challenge to all these _powers of
darkness_, to do their worst on _me_ first. I told my people that I was
a Christian, and asked them why the powaws did not bewitch and poison
me. I scarcely ever felt more sensible of my own unworthiness, than in
this action. I saw that the honor of God was concerned; and desired to
be preserved—not from selfish views—but for a testimony of the divine
power and goodness, and of the truth of Christianity, and that God might
be glorified. Afterward, I found my soul rejoice in God for his
assisting grace.”
After this, he went a journey into New-England, and was absent from the
place of his abode, at the Forks of Delaware, about three weeks. He was
in a feeble state the greater part of the time. But in the latter of the
journey he found that he gained much in health and strength.
_Sept. 26._—“Rode home to the Forks of Delaware. What reason have I to
bless God, who has preserved me in riding more than four hundred and
twenty miles, and has ‘kept all my bones, that not one of them has been
broken!’ My health likewise is greatly recovered. O that I could
dedicate my all to God! This is all the return I can make to him.”
When he began to preach here, he had not more than from twenty to
twenty-five hearers; their numbers at length increased to forty, or
more; and often most belonging to those parts came together to hear him
preach. In a letter to Rev. Mr. Pemberton, he says “The _effects_ which
the truths of God’s word have had upon some of the Indians in this
place, are somewhat encouraging. A number of them are brought to
renounce _idolatry_, and to decline partaking of those feasts which they
used to offer in sacrifice to certain supposed unknown powers. And some
few among them have, for a considerable time, manifested a serious
concern for their soul’s eternal welfare, and still continue to ‘inquire
the way to Zion,’ with such diligence, affection, and becoming
solicitude, as gives me reason to hope that ‘God who, I trust, has begun
this work in them,’ will carry it on, until it shall issue in their
saving conversion to himself. These not only detest their old idolatrous
notions, but strive also to bring their friends off from them. And as
they are seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem desirous,
and some of them take pains, that others might be excited to do the
same.
“There are also many _difficulties_, that attend the christianizing of
these poor pagans.
“In the first place, their minds are filled with _prejudices_ against
Christianity, on account of the _vicious_ lives and _unchristian_
behavior of some that are called Christians. These not only set before
them the worst examples, but some of them take pains, expressly in
words, to dissuade them from becoming Christians, foreseeing that if
these should be converted to God, ‘the hope of their unlawful gain’
would thereby be lost.
“Again: these poor heathens are extremely attached to the _customs,
traditions, and fabulous notions of their fathers_. And this one seems
to be the foundation of all their other notions, viz. that ‘it was not
the same God made them, who made the white people,’ but another, who
commanded them to live by hunting, &c., and not to conform to the
customs of the white people. Hence, when they are desired to become
Christians, they frequently reply, that ‘they will live as their fathers
lived, and go to their fathers when they die.’ And if the miracles of
Christ and his apostles be mentioned to prove the truth of Christianity,
they also mention sundry miracles which their fathers have told them
were anciently wrought among the Indians, and which satan makes them
believe were so. They are much attached to idolatry, frequently making
feasts, which they eat in honor to some _unknown_ beings, who, they
suppose, speak to them in _dreams_; promising them success in hunting,
and other affairs, in case they will sacrifice to them. They oftentimes
also offer their sacrifices to the spirits of the dead, who, they
suppose, stand in need of favors from the living, and yet are in such a
state as that they can well reward all the offices of kindness that are
shown them. And they impute all their calamities to the neglect of these
sacrifices.
“Furthermore, they are much awed by those among themselves who are
called _powaws_, who are supposed to have a power of enchanting, or
poisoning them to death, or at least in a very distressing manner. And
they apprehended it would be their sad fate to be thus enchanted in case
they should become Christians.
“The _manner of their living_ is likewise a great disadvantage to the
design of their being christianized. They are almost continually roving
from place to place, and it is but rare that an opportunity can be had
with some of them for their instruction.”
_Oct. 1._—“Was engaged in making preparations for my intended journey to
the Susquehanna. Withdrew several times to the woods for secret duties,
and endeavored to plead for the divine presence to go with me to the
poor Pagans, to whom I was going to preach the Gospel. Toward night rode
about four miles, and met brother Byram, who was come at my desire to be
my companion in travel to the Indians. I rejoiced to see him, and I
trust God made his conversation profitable to me. I saw him, as I
thought, more dead to the world, its anxious cares and alluring objects,
than I was; and this made me look within myself, and gave me a greater
sense of my guilt, ingratitude, and misery.
_Oct. 2._—“Set out on my journey in company with dear brother Byram and
my interpreter, and two chief Indians from the Forks of Delaware.
Traveled about twenty-five miles, and lodged in one of the last houses
on our road; after which there was nothing but a hideous and howling
_wilderness_.
_Oct. 3._—“We went on our way into the wilderness, and found the most
difficult and dangerous traveling by far, that ever any of us had seen.
We had scarce any thing else but lofty mountains, deep valleys, and
hideous rocks, to make our way through. However, I had some spiritual
enjoyment part of the day, and my mind intensely engaged in meditation
on a divine subject. Near night my horse hung one of her legs in the
rocks and fell down under me, but through divine goodness I was not
hurt. However, she broke her leg; and being in such a hideous place, and
near thirty miles from any house, I saw nothing that could be done to
preserve her life, and so was obliged to kill her, and to prosecute my
journey on foot. This accident made me admire the divine goodness to me
that my bones were not broken, and the multitude of them filled with
strong pain. Just at dark we kindled a fire, cut up a few bushes, and
made a shelter over our heads to save us from the frost, which was very
hard that night, and committing ourselves to God by prayer, we lay down
on the ground and slept quietly.”
The next day they went forward on their journey, and at night took up
their lodgings in the woods in like manner.
_Oct. 5._—“We reached the Susquehanna river at a place called
_Opeholhaupung_, and found there twelve Indian houses. After I had
saluted the king in a friendly manner I told him my business, and that
my desire was to teach them _Christianity_. After some consultation the
Indians gathered, and I preached to them. And when I had done I asked if
they would hear me again. They replied that they would consider of it,
and soon after sent me word that they would immediately attend if I
would preach, which I did with freedom, both times. When I asked them
again, whether they would hear me further, they replied, they would the
next day. I was exceeding sensible of the impossibility of doing any
thing for the poor Heathen without special assistance from above; and my
soul seemed to rest on God, and leave it to him to do as he pleased in
that which I saw was his own cause. Indeed, through divine goodness, I
had felt somewhat of this frame most of the time while I was traveling
thither; and in some measure before I set out.
_Oct. 6._—“Rose early and besought the Lord for help in my great work.
Near noon, preached again to the Indians; and in the afternoon visited
them from house to house, and invited them to come and hear me again the
next day, and put off their hunting design which they were just entering
upon, till Monday ‘This night’ I trust, ‘the Lord stood by me,’ to
encourage and strengthen my soul: I spent more than an hour in secret
retirement; was enabled to ‘pour out my heart before God,’ for the
increase of grace in my soul, for ministerial endowments, for success
among the poor Indians, for God’s ministers and people, for distant dear
friends, &c. Blessed be God!
_Oct. 8._—“Visited the Indians with a design to take my leave of them,
supposing they would this morning go out to hunting early; but beyond my
expectation and hope, they desired to hear me preach again. I gladly
complied with their request, and afterward endeavored to answer their
_objections_ against Christianity.
_Oct. 9._—“We rose about four in the morning, and commending ourselves
to God by prayer, and asking his special protection, set out on our
journey homeward about five, and traveled with great steadiness till
past six at night; and then made us a fire and a shelter of bark, and so
rested. I had some clear and comfortable thoughts on a divine subject,
by the way, toward night. In the night, the wolves howled around us; but
God preserved us.”
The next day they rose early, and at night came to an Irish settlement,
with which Brainerd was acquainted, and lodged there. On the following
day both he and Mr. Byram preached to the people.
_Oct. 12._—“Rode home to my lodgings; where I poured out my soul to God
in secret prayer, and endeavored to bless him for his abundant goodness
to me in my late journey. I scarcely ever enjoyed more health, at least
of later years; and God marvellously and almost miraculously, supported
me under the fatigues of the way, and traveling on foot. Blessed be the
Lord, who continually preserves me.
_Lord’s day, Oct. 14._—“I went to the place of public worship, lifting
up my heart to God for assistance and grace, in my great work; and God
was gracious to me; helping me to plead with him for holiness, and to
use the strongest arguments with him, drawn from the incarnation and
sufferings of Christ, for this very end, that men might be made holy.
Afterward, I was much assisted in preaching. I know not that ever God
helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing manner for the
trial of men’s state. Through the infinite goodness of God, I felt what
I spoke; and he enabled me to treat on divine truth with uncommon
clearness.
_Oct. 24._—“Near noon, rode to my people; spent some time, and prayed
with them; felt the frame of a _pilgrim_ on earth; longed much to leave
this gloomy mansion; but yet found the exercise of patience and
resignation. And as I returned home from the Indians, spent the whole
time in lifting up my heart to God. In the evening enjoyed a blessed
season alone in prayer; was enabled to cry to God with a child-like
spirit, for the space of near an hour; enjoyed a sweet freedom in
supplicating for myself, for dear friends, ministers, and some who are
preparing for that work, and for the church of God; and longed to be as
lively myself in God’s service as the angels.
_Oct. 26._—“In the morning my soul was melted with a sense of divine
goodness and mercy to such a vile unworthy worm. I delighted to lean
upon God, and place my whole trust in him. My soul was exceedingly
grieved for sin, and prized and longed after holiness; it wounded my
heart deeply, yet sweetly, to think how I had abused a kind God. I
longed to be perfectly holy that I might not grieve a gracious God; who
will continue to love notwithstanding his love is abused! I longed for
holiness more for this end than I did for my own happiness’ sake; and
yet this was my greatest happiness, never more to dishonor, but always
to glorify the blessed God.
_Oct. 31._—“Was sensible of my barrenness and decays in the things of
God: my soul failed when I remembered the fervency which I had enjoyed
at the throne of grace. O, I thought, if I could but be spiritual, warm,
heavenly minded, and affectionately breathing after God, this would be
better than life to me! My soul longed exceedingly for death, to be
loosed from this dullness and barrenness, and made for ever active in
the service of God. I seemed to live for nothing, and to do no good: and
O the burden of such a life! O death, death, my kind friend, hasten and
deliver me from dull mortality, and make me spiritual and vigorous to
eternity!”
_Nov. 5._—He set out on a journey to New-York, and was from home more
than a fortnight. He was exposed to cold and storms, became greatly
fatigued, and when he returned from New-York to New-Jersey was taken
ill, and detained some time.
_Nov. 21._—“Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the cold, and was almost
overcome with it. Enjoyed some sweetness in conversation with dear Mr.
Jones, while I dined with him. My soul loves the people of God, and
especially the ministers of Jesus Christ who feel the same trials that I
do.
_Nov. 22._—“Came on my way from Rockciticus to the Delaware. Was very
much disordered with a cold and pain in my head. About six at night I
lost my way in the wilderness, and wandered over rocks and mountains,
down hideous steeps, through swamps and most dreadful and dangerous
places; and the night being dark, so that few stars could be seen, I was
greatly exposed. I was much pinched with cold, and distressed with pain
in my head, attended with sickness at my stomach; so that every step I
took was distressing to me. I had little hope, for several hours
together, but that I must lie out in the woods all night in this
distressed case. But about nine o’clock I found a house, through the
abundant goodness of God, and was kindly entertained. Thus I have
frequently been exposed, and sometimes lain out the whole night: but God
has hitherto preserved me; and blessed be his name. Such fatigues and
hardships as these serve to wean me from the earth; and I trust will
make heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to cold,
rain, &c. I was ready to please myself with the thoughts of enjoying a
comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward comforts; but now
these have less place in my heart, (through the grace of God,) and my
eye is more to God for comfort. In this world I expect tribulation; and
it does not now, as formerly, appear strange to me. I do not in such
seasons of difficulty flatter myself that it will be better hereafter;
but rather think _how much worse it might be_; how much greater trials
_others_ of God’s children have endured; and how much greater are yet
_perhaps reserved for me_. Blessed be God, that he makes the thoughts of
my journey’s end, and of my dissolution a great comfort to me under my
sharpest trials; and scarce ever lets these thoughts be attended with
terror or melancholy; but they are attended frequently with great joy.
_Nov. 23._—“Visited a sick man; discoursed and prayed with him. Then
visited another house, where was one dead and laid out; looked on the
corpse, and longed that my time might come to _depart_ and be _with
Christ_. Then went home to my lodgings about one o’clock. Felt poorly;
but was able to read most of the afternoon.”
Within the space of the next twelve days he spent much time in hard
labor, with others, to make for himself a little cottage or hut, to live
in by himself through the winter. Yet he frequently preached to the
Indians, and speaks of special assistance which he had from time to
time, in addressing himself to them; and of his sometimes having
considerable encouragement from the attention which they gave. But on
Tuesday, December 4, he was sunk into great discouragement, to see most
of them going in company to an idolatrous _feast_ and _dance_, after he
had taken abundant pains to dissuade them from these things.
_Dec. 6._—“Having now a happy opportunity of being retired in a house of
my own, which I have lately procured and moved into; considering that it
is now a long time since I have been able, either on account of bodily
weakness or for want of retirement, or some other difficulty, to spend
any time in secret fasting and prayer; considering also the greatness of
my work, the extreme difficulties that attend it, and that my poor
Indians are now _worshipping devils_, notwithstanding all the pains I
have taken with them, which almost overwhelms my spirit; moreover,
considering my extreme barrenness, spiritual deadness and dejection, of
late; as also the power of some particular corruptions; I set apart this
day for secret prayer and fasting, to implore the blessing of God on
myself, on my poor people, on my friends, and on the church of God. At
first I felt a great backwardness to the duties of the day on account of
the seeming impossibility of performing them: but the Lord helped me to
break through this difficulty. God was pleased, by the use of means, to
give me some clear conviction of my sinfulness, and a discovery of _the
plague of my own heart_, more affecting than what I have of late had.
And especially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when God had withdrawn
himself, then, instead of living and dying in pursuit of him, I have
been disposed to one of these two things: either to yield an unbecoming
respect to some _earthly_ objects, as if happiness were to be derived
from them; or to be secretly froward and impatient, and unsuitably
_desirous of death_, so that I have sometimes thought I could not bear
to think that my life must be lengthened out. That which often drove me
to this impatient desire of death, was a despair of doing any good in
life: and I chose death rather than a life spent for nothing. But now
God made me sensible of my sin in these things, and enabled me to cry to
him for forgiveness. Yet this was not all I wanted, for my soul appeared
exceedingly polluted, my heart seemed like a nest of vipers, or a cage
of unclean and hateful birds; and therefore I wanted to be purified ‘by
the blood of sprinkling, that cleanseth from all sin.’ This, I hope, I
was enabled to pray for in faith. I enjoyed much more intenseness,
fervency, and spirituality, than I expected; God was better to me than
my fears. Toward night, I felt my soul rejoice, that God is unchangeably
happy and glorious; and that he will be glorified, whatever becomes of
his creatures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer until sometime in
the evening; at which time I saw so much need of divine help, in every
respect, that I knew not how to leave off, and had forgot that I needed
food. Blessed be the Lord for any help in the past day.
_Dec. 7._—“Spent some time in prayer, in the morning; enjoyed some
freedom and affection in the duty, and had longing desires of being made
‘faithful to the death.’ Spent a little time in writing on a divine
subject; then visited the Indians, and preached to them; but I had no
heart to speak to them, and could not do it, but as I forced myself: I
knew they must hate to hear me, as having but just got home from their
idolatrous feast and devil-worship. In the evening, had some freedom in
prayer and meditation.
_Dec. 12._—“Was very weak; but somewhat assisted in secret prayer, and
enabled with pleasure and sweetness to cry, ‘Come, Lord Jesus! come,
Lord Jesus! come quickly.’ My soul ‘longed for God, for the living God.’
O how delightful it is to pray under such sweet influences! O how much
better is this than one’s necessary food! I had at this time no
disposition to eat, (though late in the morning,) for earthly food
appeared wholly tasteless. O how much ‘better is thy love than wine,’
than the sweetest wine!—I visited and preached to the Indians in the
afternoon; but under much dejection. Found my _Interpreter_ under some
concern for his soul; which was some comfort to me; and yet filled me
with new care. I longed greatly for his conversion; lifted up my heart
to God for it, while I was talking to him; came home, and poured out my
soul to God for him; enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and was enabled, I
think, to leave all with God.
_Dec. 18._—“Went to the Indians, and discoursed to them near an hour,
without any power to come close to their hearts. But at last I felt some
fervency, and God helped me to speak with warmth. My _Interpreter_ also
was amazingly assisted; and presently most of the grown persons were
much affected, and the tears ran down their cheeks. One old man, I
suppose an hundred years old, was so much affected that he wept, and
seemed convinced of the importance of what I taught them. I staid with
them a considerable time, exhorting and directing them; and came away,
lifting up my heart to God in prayer and praise, and encouraged and
exhorted my _Interpreter_ to ‘strive to enter in at the strait gate.’
Came home, and spent most of the evening in prayer and thanksgiving; and
found myself much enlarged and quickened. Was greatly concerned that the
Lord’s work, which seemed to be begun, might be carried on with power,
to the conversion of poor souls, and the glory of divine grace.
_Dec. 19._—“Spent a great part of the day in prayer to God for the
outpouring of his Spirit on my poor people; as also to bless his name
for awakening my _Interpreter_ and some others, and giving us some
tokens of his presence yesterday. And blessed be God, I had much
freedom, five or six times in the day, in prayer and praise, and felt a
weighty concern upon my spirit for the salvation of those precious
souls, and the enlargement of the Redeemer’s kingdom among them. My soul
hoped in God for some success in my ministry: blessed be his name for so
much hope.
_Dec. 21._—“Was enabled again to pray with freedom, cheerfulness, and
hope. God was pleased to make the duty comfortable and pleasant to me;
so that I delighted to persevere, and repeatedly to engage in it. Toward
noon visited my people, and spent the whole time in the way to them in
prayer, longing to see _the power of God_ among them, as there appeared
something of it the last Tuesday; and I found it sweet to rest and hope
in God. Preached to them twice, and at two distinct places: had
considerable freedom each time, and so had my _Interpreter_. Several of
them followed me from one place to the other; and I thought there was
some divine influence discernible among them. In the evening was
assisted in prayer again. Blessed be the Lord.
_Dec. 25._—“Enjoyed very little quiet sleep last night, by reason of
bodily weakness, and the closeness of my studies yesterday; yet my heart
was somewhat lively in prayer and praise. I was delighted with the
divine glory and happiness, and rejoiced that God was God, and that he
was unchangeably possessed of glory and blessedness. Though God _held my
eyes waking_, yet he helped me to improve my time profitably amidst my
pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Luke, 13:7. ‘Behold,
these three years I come seeking fruit.’ &c. My meditations were sweet;
and I wanted to set before sinners their sin and danger.”
He continued in a very low state, as to his bodily health, for some
days, which seems to have been a great hindrance to him in his religious
exercises and pursuits. But yet he expresses some degree of divine
assistance, from day to day, through the remainder of this week. He
preached several times this week to his Indians; and there appeared
still some concern among them for their souls.
_Jan. 9, 1745._—“In the morning God was pleased to remove that gloom
which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me freedom and sweetness
in prayer; I was encouraged, strengthened, and enabled to plead for
grace myself, and mercy for my poor Indians; and was sweetly assisted in
my intercessions with God for others. Blessed be his holy name for ever
and ever. Amen, and Amen. Those things that of late have appeared most
difficult and almost impossible, now appeared not only possible, but
easy. My soul so much delighted to continue instant in prayer, at this
blessed season, that I had no desire for my necessary food: I even
dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest I should lose this
spirituality, and this blessed thankfulness to God which I then felt. I
felt now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials that might remain
for me in a world of sorrow; but still longed for heaven, that I might
glorify God in a perfect manner. ‘O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.’
_Lord’s day, Feb. 3._—“In the morning I was somewhat relieved of that
gloom and confusion with which my mind has of late been greatly
exercised; and was enabled to pray with some composure and comfort.
Still I went to my Indians trembling; but God was pleased to hear my
cries, and to afford me great assistance; so that I felt peace in my own
soul; and was satisfied, that if not one of the Indians should be
profited by my preaching, but they should all be damned, yet I should be
accepted and rewarded as faithful; for I am persuaded, God enabled me to
be so. Had some good degree of help afterward at another place; and much
longed for the conversion of the poor Indians.”
On the next Sabbath he preached at Greenwich, in New-Jersey. In the
evening he rode eight miles to visit a sick man at the point of death,
and found him speechless and senseless.
_Feb. 11._—“About the break of day the sick man died. I was affected at
the sight; spent the morning with the mourners; and after prayer and
some discourse with them, returned to Greenwich, and preached again from
Psalm 89:15. The Lord gave me some assistance; I felt a sweet love to
souls and to the kingdom of Christ; and longed that poor sinners might
‘know the joyful sound.’ Several persons were much affected. After
meeting, I was enabled to discourse, with freedom and concern, to some
persons who applied to me under spiritual trouble. Left the place,
sweetly composed, and rode home to my house about eight miles distant.
Discoursed to friends, and inculcated divine truths upon some. In the
evening was in the most solemn frame which I almost ever remember to
have experienced. I know not that ever death appeared more real to me,
or that ever I saw myself in the condition of a dead corpse, laid out,
and dressed for a lodging in the silent grave, so evidently as at this
time. And yet I felt exceedingly tranquil; my mind was composed and
calm, and _death_ appeared _without a sting_. I think I never felt such
an universal mortification to all created objects as now. O, how great
and solemn a thing it appeared to die! O, how it lays the greatest honor
in the dust! And O, how vain and trifling did the riches, honors, and
pleasures of the world appear! I could not, I dare not so much as think
of any of them; for _death_, _death_ appeared at the door. O, I could
see myself dead, and laid out, and inclosed in my coffin, and put down
into the cold grave, with the greatest solemnity, but without terror! I
spent most of the evening in conversing with a dear Christian friend.
Blessed be God for the comforts of the past day.
_Feb. 15._—“Was engaged in writing almost the whole day. In the evening
was much assisted in meditating on that precious text, John, 7:37.
‘Jesus stood and cried,’ &c. I had then a sweet sense of the free grace
of the gospel; my soul was encouraged, warmed, and quickened. My desires
were drawn out after God in prayer; and my soul was watchful, afraid of
losing such a guest as I then entertained. I continued long in prayer
and meditation, intermixing one with the other; and was unwilling to be
diverted by any thing at all from so sweet an exercise. I longed to
proclaim the grace I then meditated upon, to the world of sinners. O how
_quick_ and _powerful_ is the _word_ of the blessed God.
_Lord’s day, Feb. 17._—“Preached to the _white_ people [my _interpreter_
being absent,] in the wilderness, upon the sunny side of a hill; had a
considerable assembly, consisting of people who lived, at least many of
them, not less than thirty miles asunder; some of them came near twenty
miles. I discoursed to them all day, from John, 7:37. ‘Jesus stood and
cried, saying, that if any man thirst,’ &c. In the afternoon, it pleased
God to grant me great freedom and fervency in my discourse and I was
enabled to imitate the example of Christ in the text, who _stood and
cried_. I think I was scarce ever enabled to exhibit the free grace of
God to perishing sinners with more freedom and plainness in my life.
Afterward, I was enabled earnestly to invite the children of God to come
renewedly, and drink of this fountain of the water of life, from whence
they have heretofore derived unspeakable satisfaction. It was a very
comfortable time to me. There were many tears in the assembly; and I
doubt not but that the Spirit of God was there, convincing poor sinners
of their need of Christ. In the evening I felt composed and comfortable,
though much tired. I had some sweet sense of the excellency and glory of
God; my soul rejoiced that he was ‘God over all, blessed for ever;’ but
was too much crowded with company and conversation, and longed to be
more alone with God. O that I could for ever bless God for the mercy of
this day, who ‘answered me in the joy of my heart.’
_Lord’s day, Feb. 24._—“In the morning was much perplexed. My
_interpreter_ being absent, I knew not how to perform my work among the
Indians. However, I rode to them, got a Dutchman to interpret for me,
though he was but poorly qualified for the business. Afterward I came
and preached to a few white people, from John, 6:67. Here the Lord
seemed to unburden me in some measure, especially toward the close of my
discourse: I felt freedom to open the _love of Christ_ to his own dear
_disciples_. When the rest of the world forsake him, and are forsaken by
him, he then turns to his own, and says, _Will ye also go away?_ I had a
sense of the free grace of Christ to his own people, in such seasons of
general apostacy, and when they themselves in some measure backslide
with the world. O the free grace of Christ, that he seasonably reminds
his people of their danger of _backsliding_, and invites them to
persevere in their adherence to himself! I saw that backsliding souls,
who seemed to be about to go away with the world, might return, and be
welcome, to him immediately; without any thing to recommend them;
notwithstanding all their former backslidings. Thus my discourse was
suited to my own soul’s case; for of late, I have found a great want of
this sense and apprehension of divine grace; and have often been greatly
distressed in my own soul, because I did not suitably apprehend this
fountain opened to purge away sin; and have been too much laboring for
spiritual life, peace of conscience, and progressive holiness, in my own
strength. Now God showed me, in some measure, _the arm_ of all strength,
and _the fountain_ of all grace. In the evening, I felt solemn, resting
on free grace for assistance, acceptance, and peace of conscience.
_March 6._—“Spent most of the day in preparing for a journey to
New-England; and sometime in prayer with a special reference to it. Was
afraid I should forsake the Fountain of living waters, and attempt to
derive satisfaction from _broken cisterns_, my dear friends and
acquaintance, whom I might meet in my journey. I looked to God to keep
me from this _vanity_ as well as others. Toward night, and in the
evening, was visited by some friends, some of whom I trust were real
Christians; who discovered an affectionate regard to me, and seemed
grieved that I was about to leave them; especially as I did not expect
to make any considerable stay among them, if I should live to return.[F]
O how kind has God been to me! how he has raised up friends in every
place where his providence has called me! Friends are a great comfort;
and it is God who gives them; it is He who makes them friendly to me.
‘Bless the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.’”
Footnote F:
It seems by what afterward appears, that he had a design to remove and
live among the Indians on the Susquehanna river.
The next day he set out on his journey; and it was about five weeks
before he returned. The special design of this journey, he himself
declares afterward, in his diary for March 21, where, speaking of his
conversing with a certain minister in New-England, he says, “Contrived
with him how to raise some money among Christian friends, in order to
support a colleague with me in the wilderness, (I having now spent two
years in a very solitary manner,) that we might be together: as Christ
sent out his disciples two and two; and as this was the principal
concern I had in view, in taking this journey, so I took pains in it,
and hope God will succeed it, if for his glory.” He first went into
various parts of New-Jersey, and visited several ministers there; then
went to New-York; and from thence into New-England, going to various
parts of Connecticut. He then returned to New-Jersey, and met a number
of ministers at Woodbridge, “who,” he says “met there to consult about
the affairs of Christ’s kingdom.” He seems, for the most part, to have
been free from melancholy in this journey; and many times to have had
extraordinary assistance in public ministrations, and his preaching was
sometimes attended with very hopeful appearances of a good effect on the
auditory. He also had many seasons of special comfort and spiritual
refreshment, in conversation with ministers and other Christian friends,
and also in meditation and prayer when alone.
_April 13._—“Rode home to my own house at the Forks of Delaware; was
enabled to remember the goodness of the Lord, who has now preserved me
while riding full six hundred miles in this journey; and kept me that
none of my bones have been broken. Blessed be the Lord, who has
preserved me in this tedious journey, and returned me in safety to my
own house. Verily it is God who has upheld me, and guarded my goings.
_Lord’s day, April 14._—“Was disordered in body with the fatigues of the
late journey; but was enabled however to preach to a considerable
assembly of white people, gathered from all parts round about, with some
freedom, from Ezek. 33:11. ‘As I live saith the Lord,’ &c. Had much more
assistance than I expected.”
This week he went a journey to Philadelphia, in order to engage the
Governor to use his interest with the chief of the Six Nations, with
whom he maintained a strict friendship, that he would give him leave to
live at Susquehanna, and instruct the Indians who are within their
territories.
_April 26._—“Conversed with a Christian friend with some warmth; and
felt a spirit of mortification to the world, in a very great degree.
Afterward, was enabled to pray fervently, and to rely on God sweetly,
for ‘all things pertaining to life and godliness.’ Just in the evening,
was visited by a dear Christian friend, with whom I spent an hour or two
in conversation, on the very soul of religion. There are many with whom
I can talk _about religion_; but alas! I find few with whom I can talk
_religion itself_; but, blessed be the Lord there are some that love to
feed on the kernel, rather than the shell.
_April 30._—“Was scarce able to walk about, and was obliged to betake
myself to bed much of the day; and passed away the time in a very
solitary manner; being neither able to read, meditate, nor pray, and had
none to converse with in this wilderness. O how heavily does time pass
away when I can do nothing to any good purpose; but seem obliged to
trifle away precious time! But of late I have seen it my duty to
_divert_ myself by all lawful means, that I may be fit, at least some
small part of my time, to labor for God. And here is the difference
between my present diversions, and those I once pursued, when in a
natural state. Then I made a God of my diversions, delighted in them
with a neglect of God, and drew my highest satisfaction from them. Now I
use them as means to help me in living to God; fixedly delighting in
_him_, and not in them, drawing my highest satisfaction from _him_. Then
they were my _all_; now they are only _means_ leading to my all. And
those things that are the greatest diversion, when pursued with this
view, do not tend to hinder, but promote my spirituality; and I see now,
more than ever, that they are absolutely necessary.
_May 2._—“In the evening, being a little better in health, I walked into
the woods, and enjoyed a sweet season of meditation and prayer. My
thoughts ran upon Psalm 17:15. ‘I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with
thy likeness.’ And it was indeed a precious text to me. I longed to
preach to the whole world; and it seemed to me they must needs all be
melted in hearing such precious divine truths as I then had a view of.
My thoughts were exceeding clear, and my soul was refreshed. Blessed be
the Lord, that in my late and present weakness, now for many days
together, my mind is not gloomy, as at some other times.
_May 7._—“Spent the day mainly in making preparation for a journey into
the wilderness. Was still weak, and concerned how I should perform so
difficult a journey; but wanted bodily strength to spend the day in
fasting and prayer.”
The next day he set out on his journey to the Susquehanna, with his
interpreter. He endured great hardships and fatigues in his way thither
through the wilderness; where, after having lodged one night in the open
woods, he was overtaken with a north-easterly storm, in which he was
ready to perish. Having no manner of shelter, and not being able to make
a fire in so great a rain, he could have no comfort if he stopped; he
therefore determined to go forward in hope of meeting with some shelter,
without which he thought it impossible to live the night through; but
their horses happening to eat poison, for the want of other food, at a
place where they lodged the night before, were so sick that they could
neither ride nor lead them, but were obliged to drive them and travel on
foot; until, through the mercy of God, just at dusk they came to a bark
hut, where they lodged that night. After he came to the Susquehanna he
traveled about a hundred miles on the river, and visited many towns and
settlements of the Indians; saw some of seven or eight tribes, and
preached to different nations, by different interpreters. He was
sometimes much discouraged, and sunk in his spirits, through the
opposition which appeared in the Indians to Christianity. At other times
he was encouraged by the disposition which some of these people
manifested to hear, and their willingness to be instructed. He here met
with some who had formerly been his hearers at Kaunaumeek, and had
removed hither; who saw and heard him again with great joy. He spent a
fortnight among the Indians on this river, and passed through many
labors and hardships, lodging on the ground for several weeks, and
sometimes in the open air. At length he became extremely ill, as he was
riding in the wilderness, being seized with an ague, followed with a
burning fever and extreme pains in his head and bowels, attended with a
great evacuation of blood; so that he thought he must have perished in
the wilderness. But at last coming to an Indian trader’s hut, he got
leave to stay there; and though without physic or food proper for him,
it pleased God, after about a week’s distress, to relieve him so far
that he was able to ride. He returned homeward from _Juncauta_, an
island far down the river, where were a considerable number of Indians,
who appeared more free from prejudices against Christianity than most of
the other Indians; and arrived at the Forks of Delaware on Thursday, May
30, after having rode in this journey about three hundred and forty
miles. He came home in a very week state, and under dejection of mind;
which was a great hindrance to him in religious exercises. However, on
the Sabbath, after having preached to the Indians, he preached to the
white people with some success, from Isaiah, 53:10. “Yet it pleased the
Lord to bruise him,” &c. some being awakened by his preaching. The next
day he was much exercised for want of spiritual life and fervency.
_June 5._—“Felt thirsting desires after God, in the morning. In the
evening, enjoyed a precious season of retirement: was favored with some
clear and sweet meditations upon a sacred text; divine things opened
with clearness and certainty, and had a divine stamp upon them. My soul
was also enlarged and refreshed in prayer; I delighted to continue in
the duty; and was sweetly assisted in praying for my fellow Christians,
and dear brethren in the ministry. Blessed be the dear Lord for such
enjoyments. O how sweet and precious it is to have a clear apprehension
and tender sense of the _mystery of godliness_, of true holiness, and of
likeness to the best of beings! O what a blessedness it is to be as much
like God as it is possible for a creature to be like his great Creator!
Lord give me more of _thy likeness_; ‘I shall be satisfied, when I
awake, with it.’”
_On Friday, June 7_, he went a journey of near fifty miles, to
Neshaminy, to assist at a sacramental occasion, to be attended at Mr.
Beatty’s meeting-house; being invited thither by him and his people.
_June 8._—“Was exceedingly weak and fatigued with riding in the heat
yesterday; but being desired, I preached in the afternoon, to a crowded
audience, from Isaiah, 40:1. ‘Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith
your God.’ God was pleased to give me great freedom, in opening the
sorrows of his people, and in setting before them comforting
considerations. And, blessed be the Lord, it was a sweet melting season
in the assembly.
_Lord’s day, June 9._—“Felt some longing desires of the presence of God
to be with his people on the solemn occasion of the day. In the forenoon
Mr. Beatty preached; and there appeared some warmth in the assembly.
Afterward, I assisted in the administration of the Lord’s supper: and
toward the close of it, I discoursed to the multitude extempore, with
some reference to that sacred passage, Isaiah, 53:10. ‘Yet it pleased
the Lord to bruise him.’ Here God gave me great assistance in addressing
sinners: and the word was attended with amazing power: many scores, if
not hundreds, in that great assembly, consisting of three or four
thousand, were much affected; so that there was a ‘very great mourning,
like the mourning of Hadadrimmon.’
_June 10._—“Preached with a good degree of clearness and some sweet
warmth from Psalm 17:15. ‘I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy
likeness.’ And blessed be God, there was a great solemnity, and
attention in the assembly, and sweet refreshment among God’s people; as
was evident then and afterward.
_June 11._—“Spent the day mainly in conversation with dear Christian
friends; and enjoyed some sweet sense of divine things. O how desirable
it is to keep company with God’s dear children! ‘These are the excellent
ones of the earth,’ in whom, I can truly say ‘is all my delight.’ O what
delight will it afford, to meet them all in a state of perfection! Lord
prepare me for that state.
_June 18._—“Set out from New-Brunswick with a design to visit some
Indians at a place called _Crossweeksung_, in New-Jersey, toward the
sea. In the afternoon, came to a place called _Cranberry_, and meeting
with a serious minister, Mr. Macknight, I lodged there with him. Had
some enlargement and freedom in prayer with a number of people.”
[Illustration: View of the Creek and Village of Crosswicks, New Jersey,
July, 1833.]