PLACES OF AMUSEMENT.
Do not accept an invitation to visit any place of public amusement, with
a gentleman with whom you are but slightly acquainted, unless there is
another lady also invited. You may, as a young lady, go with a relative
or your fiancee, without a chaperon, but not otherwise.
Having received an invitation which it is proper for you to accept,
write an answer immediately, appointing an hour for your escort to call
for you, and be sure that you are ready in good season. To arrive late
is not only annoying to those near your seat, whom you disturb when you
enter, but it is ill-bred; you will be supposed to be some one who is
unable to come early, instead of appearing as a lady who is mistress of
her own time.
If the evening is cloudy, or it rains, your escort will probably bring a
carriage; and let me say a few words here about entering and leaving a
carriage.
How to get in is difficult, but of less importance than getting out;
because if you stumble in, no one sees you, but some one who may happen
to be in the carriage; but how to get out is so important, that I will
illustrate it by a short diplomatic anecdote:--
"The Princess of Hesse-Darmstadt," says M. Mercy d'Argenteau, an
ambassador of the last century, "having been desired by the Empress of
Austria to bring her three daughters to court, in order that her
Imperial Majesty might choose one of them for a wife to one of her sons,
drove up in her coach to the palace gate. Scarcely had they entered the
presence, when, before even speaking to them, the empress went up to the
second daughter, and, taking her by the hand, said, 'I choose this young
lady.' The mother, astonished at the suddenness of her choice, inquired
what had actuated it. 'I watched the young ladies get out of their
carriage,' said the empress. 'Your eldest daughter stepped on her dress,
and only saved herself from falling by an awkward scramble; the youngest
jumped from the coach to the ground, without touching the steps; the
second, just lifting her dress in front, so as she descended to show the
point of her shoe, calmly stepped from the carriage to the ground,
neither hurriedly nor stiffly, but with grace and dignity: she is fit to
be an empress; her eldest sister is too awkward, her youngest too
wild.'"
THE THEATRE--Here you must wear your bonnet, though you may throw aside
your cloak or shawl, if you desire it. Your escort will pass to your
seats first, and then turn and offer his hand to lead you to your own.
Once seated, give your attention entirely to the actors whilst the
curtain is up--to your companion when it is down.
Do not look round the house with your glass. A lady's deportment should
be very modest in a theatre. Avoid carefully every motion, or gesture
that will attract attention. To flirt a fan, converse in whispers,
indulge in extravagant gestures of merriment or admiration, laugh loudly
or clap your hands together, are all excessively vulgar and unlady-like.
Never turn your head to look at those seated behind you, or near you.
If you speak to your companion while the curtain is up, lower your
voice, that you may not disturb others interested in the conversation on
the stage.
THE OPERA--Here you should wear full dress, an opera cloak, and either a
head-dress, or dressy bonnet of some thin material. Your gloves must be
of kid, white, or some very light tint to suit your dress. Many dress
for the opera as they would for the theatre; but the beauty of the house
is much enhanced by each lady contributing her full dress toilette to
the general effect.
If you go to the dressing-room, leave your hood and shawl in the care of
the woman in waiting, whom you must fee when she returns them to you.
If you do not wish to go to the dressing-room, allow your escort to take
off your shawl or cloak, and throw it over the back of the seat. As your
opera cloak must be light enough to keep on all the evening, though you
may throw it open, you must wear over it a heavier cloak or a shawl.
Throw this off in the lobby, just before you enter your box. Your gloves
you must keep on all the evening.
Avoid handling the play bills, as the printing ink will soil your gloves
in a few minutes, making your hands appear very badly for the rest of
the evening.
You should be in your seat at the opera before the overture commences.
Never converse during the performance. Even the lowest toned remark
will disturb a real lover of music, and these will be near you on all
sides. Exclamations of admiration, "Exquisite!" "Beautiful!" or
"Lovely!" are in the worst taste. Show your appreciation by quiet
attention to every note, and avoid every exclamation or gesture.
In our new opera houses there are rooms for promenade, and between the
acts your escort may invite you to walk there. You may accept the
invitation with perfect propriety. He will leave the box first and then
offer his hand to you. In the lobby take his arm, and keep it until you
return to the box. If you have taken your cloak or shawl to your seat,
leave them there during your promenade. Return to your seat when the
gong sounds the recall, that you may not disturb others after the next
act commences.
In walking up and down in the promenading saloon, you may pass and
repass friends. Bow the first time you meet them, but not again.
If you meet your gentlemen friends there, bow, but do not stop to speak.
They may join you for once round the room, then allow them to leave you.
Your escort will feel justly offended if you allow any other gentlemen
to engross your attention entirely when he has invited you to the
entertainment.
CONCERTS--Here, as at the opera, you may wear a bonnet or not, as you
will. Go early to the hall, unless you have secured a seat, and then, be
in time for the first song. If you are unavoidably late, enter quietly,
and take a seat near the door. It is very rude to push forward to the
front of the hall, and either crowd those upon the benches, or force
some gentleman to offer you his place. If the hall is so crowded that
even the back seats are full, and a gentleman offers you his place, you
should thank him before accepting it.
Again, I repeat, do not converse, or disturb those around you by
exclamations or gesticulations.
LECTURES--Two ladies may attend a lecture, unaccompanied by a gentleman,
without attracting attention.
The dress, bonnet, and cloak, worn in the street, should be worn in a
lecture-room, as these are, by no means, occasions for full dress.
If you return at an early hour from any place of amusement, invite your
escort into the house upon your arrival there, and lay aside your bonnet
and shawl. If you keep them on, he will conclude that you expect him to
shorten his visit. If it is late when you reach home, he will probably
decline your invitation to enter. If, however, he accepts it, do not lay
aside your shawl, and he will soon leave you.
If he asks permission to call in the morning, you must, unless prevented
by an imperative engagement, remain at home to see him.
Upon your way home from the theatre, concert, or opera, speak warmly of
the pleasure of the evening, and, at parting, thank him for that
pleasure. Show by your manner that you have heartily enjoyed the
entertainment you owe to his civility. If you are weary, do not allow
him to see it. If disappointed, conceal that also. You will be able to
find _some_ good points in the performance; speak of these and ignore
the bad ones.
If at the theatre, opera, or in a concert-room, you see an
acquaintance, you are not expected to recognize her, unless near enough
to speak. A lady must not bow to any one, even her own sister, across a
theatre or concert-room.